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annoying girl
So, for my Gr 12 Prom,(dinner and dance) I am sitting at a table with my 4 best friends and this one really annoying girl. As in, the table seats 10, but after she joined, no one else wanted to sit with us.
Yes I know, we should be nice and all that, and honestly I have tried. I do my best to be as nice as I can. But seriously, this is prom. It only happens once. And there is no way she is going to leave us alone! I just want to be able to enjoy the night with my friends without someone extra butting in on our conversations, making them all about her.
She just has no appreciation for personal space, common sense manners, or other people's opinions. She won't take a hint, but if you outright tell her that she needs to tone it down/give you some space she will get really upset.
She takes over conversations, butting in to private conversations, and wants all the attention to be on her.
How do I enjoy prom night with my friends? I don't want to be rude to her, but I also would like to not spend the entire night with her yakking in my ear...
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I am a bit confused. You first talk in current tense as if this was happening right now and you got out your cell to write us your question. Then at the end you ask how you can enjoy prom night with friends as if this hasn't happened yet.
She may be very predictable but then again this hasn't happened yet. If you get yourself so worked up over what might happen and likely will happen, then you could be in a miserable mood for your whole prom night,,, it's what others call 'being out of sorts) you're just not quite yourself.
Let me ask quickly if this girl were a guy instead, one you weren't attracted to but one who wants to be your friend and date you, you wouldn't tolerate him just because he is intent on winning you. It doesnt have to be just because someone is annoying that you dont want to assosiate with them, but the fact that you have very little in common and have no interest in their character or personality, whether it be a bad one, a good one or so-so. She could even be a really sweet person but the moment you force yourself on any other person, you are in the wrong. She can't make friendship happen by forcing herself. So if this is ahead of prom, warn her now, not the night of, that she seems to not have got the hint that you do not find any friensship chemistry with her And so you are requesting that from now on, she not seek you out, not even at the upcoming prom.
You and the friends could ask other couples to promise to sit with you so no other chairs are available. But as you know, something like that won't deter someone like her who needs an audience. The next step if she can't comply is to talk to one of the adult chaperones of your prom and let them know that someone you have asked to leave you alone is still pestering you and you'll like her removed from your table. That would be a start but you can't regulate whether she meets up with you at the snack table or ladies room, etc... While it may seem mean, you'd have to ignore her. There are personality disorders out there and things like aspergers syndrome where the person talks at you not with you, and there are those who simply crave the limelight and being center of stage. Some sun signs and personalities types are like this as I am guessing she may be and its not a disorder per se, but a real need to be in the spotlight and drawing all attention to herself. This is something you cant fix for her. She'll need some counseling or she's go through life turning away lots of potential friends because she can't make it an equal partnership between friends, all getting equal time to have their say or do what they want. Since she has this personality flaw, she is probably miserable and thats why she gets angry. You could also ask a school counselor ahead of time regarding your concerns with just this one gal. Mention how she had a real need to be the center of attention and will join you and friends and butt in and work to turn all conversation and focus back to herself. You dont like this behavior and don't want her ruining your prom night because of it. You don't want to be rude either but she never listens so all you can see is finding a way to avoid her. Ask what you can do if she comes to sit with all of you. Perhaps they will suggest you talk ahead of time to whomever will be on site chaperoning. Good luck.
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I totally know what you mean! When I was in grade school there was a girl that would never leave me and my friends alone. I was always told to be nice to her but at times nice doesn't always win. Have you tried having a heart to heart with her? I know she might get upset but that's on her. I've realized that you can't be afraid to tell people how you feel. And I'm not saying you should be completely honest about everything but just let her know how you feel. If she overreacts thats on her not you. I hope you have fun! Good luck!
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It seems to me that you are deliberately looking to not enjoy yourself no matter what if she is there. The only way your night can be ruined is if you go into the event this way and let things bother you and have it take that affect.
I would go about your business and enjoy the dance. Spend more time doing that and talking with friends away from the table. You have to understand that this girl could very well have Aspergers, a learning problem or social issues that range from something medical. She probably knows this and has all her life and isn't aware of her behavior bothering others. When confronted she feels picked on as a result.
Her taking over conversations or butting in may come from a deep desire to be accepted by peers and heard. This may be why she is trying to latch on to you and your friends because everyone else treats her like shit all the time. How would you feel if that were you? she must see something she likes in your group.
I would exercise tolerance and be cordial but if she interrupts a conversation politely say excuse me so and so I'm not finished or " Could you excuse us for a few minutes we need to have a private conversation." If she doesn't get it move away from the table and go about your night and don't let it ruin your experience.
I know she gets upset if you confront her. Most people would. If you could use kindness and pull her aside and try to help her understand why others are responding negatively and actually be a friend regardless of what she isn't good at helping that would really do a lot for both of you. I think deep down all she wants is acceptance and a friend. If you were her how would you feel?
As far as prom goes for a lot of people it's a big deal but ultimately one evening and the world will not end if this person is there unless you allow anything they may do to affect you or you expect going in. Go about your business and rather than worry about what if and that which you cannot control have fun in spite of what may or may not transpire with her. Otherwise it's akin to screwing yourself over because of anxiety.
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