about

I'm Sarah
I cheer (it's my life)
I model
I will be attending Yale, Wharton, or Brown in 2010.
I'm not a bad kid.
But i'm definatly not perfect.
I've been through my fair share of delinquency.
so i know how to deal with it.
with that being said...
any questions that aren't "user friendly"
my email is posted on this page.
I don't judge.
and i would love to help you.
so please feel free to drop a question in my inbox.
=)


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advice

If been with my boyfriend on and of for the last 2 1/2 years. There was a really good friend i had that i meet before my boyfriend. We hooked up before i even meet my boyfriend so anyway i really miss this friend he never wanted a girlfriend like everrr and i really liked him alot. So anyway he has a girlfriend now and he still talks to me all the time. In school he comes up behind me and gives me big hugs and if i see him and dont say anything or give him a hug and he texts me and says oh whats up with the that look or, why didnt u give me a hug i really wanted a hug. And a few times he asked if i missed him. Of course i said yeah and then he kind of started being a jerk and was like ash your jealous of me and my girlfriend arent u trying to be funny but it wasnt all that amusing to me of course. I dont get it whats up with him?

He probably still likes you. HE'S the one thats jealous. If he's asking you if you miss him, he's obviously thinking about you. He's trying to cover it up by making it seem like you're the one that likes him.

The reality of it is, you guys don't act like friends, you act like you like each other. If you want to stay with your boyfriend, then you should probably stop talking to him so much. Or at least don't hug him and stuff like that.

Good Luck.
Sarah

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I met this guy last weekend at a place where everyone in my town hang out. we hit it off really well and started dating a couple days later. everything was going really great but then i found out from a few friends i have in the grade above that he did ectasy oxy cotton ect. i definetley am not into drugs, i called him and told him i never wanted to see him ever again. he started crying and said i havent cried this much since my mom died of coursr i felt awful so i agreed to have him drive over to my house and we could talk i told him that i thought we rushed into going out and that i couldnt be with somebody who does drugs i want to be a dancer in high school and i cant be associated with drugs. he also told people that we were going to have sex on our one month anniversary. which made me furious because im not like that to know a guy for like 5 days and agree to that. i broke up with him and now hes threatning to kill two of my friends that told me that he did drugs. hes physco..he drives past my house twice a day and it freaks me out he says we will be together no matter what and he'll stop at nothing to get me even if he has to hurt people that we are meant to be together im really scared and i dont know what to do.

Wow, this guy does seem scary.

Don't get back together with him because you are scared of him. You will end up getting hurt; this guy obviously has problems. The best thing that you can do for him is to be his friend. You need to be honest with him. Tell him that threatening to hurt your friends only scares you and pushes you away more. Tell him that you could never date somebody that acts like that. Since he is that set on being with you, he should stop. In the meantime, all you can do is offer him your friendship. I'm not saying that you should hang out with him everyday, but an occasional phone conversation to see how is is okay. He needs help, and I think if you are there for him, and guide him down the right path, you could really do some good for him.

Don't yell at him for doing drugs. I know it's wrong but yelling at him will not help. If you want to help him, talk to him about why he has gotten into drugs and convince him that he needs to quit. But don't play games with him, if you have no intention of going back out with him, let him know that. Don't flirt with him or give him a reason to believe that you like him.

Good Luck.
Sarah

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14/f
i've had boyfriends before, but this boy, is my world. he loved me when i didn't even love myself.
we have been going out for a year && a few months, but suddenly his grandma has cancer and there are other reasons, but hes moving to Ecuador. He told me he'll come back for me in two years. [He's moving in two weeks] I spent last night crying till i threw up and only got an hour a sleep. 2 years though!? what am i suppose to do? im only 14. his parents asked for me to come with him, but i said no. i can't, im too young and even i know that. advice or opinons are appreciated =/

This is a terrible situation, and unfortunately you are going to have to make the best of it. You can't stop him from moving away, but you can keep in touch and maintain a relationship. You can still talk to him on the phone every night and instant message each other constantly. If you really want to see him, then get a part time job to hellp save up money for a plane ticket. Maybe you could get your mom to let you spend a summer there.

You just have to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that your relationship is strong enough to last. Think about it this way, if you guys can get through two years apart, then you will be able to get through anything.

Good Luck.
Sarah

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I really like this guy and I want to date him but the only problem is that he is 1/2 black and my dad is completely against me dating a black or mexican guy. What should I do and no talk with him will change his mind so don't tell me to have talk with him. What should I do?

If he is really a good guy, your dad will see that. Tell him that you want to bring one of your friends over to your house, but that he is half black. Let your parents talk to him, and I think that if he has a chance to prove himself as a good guy, then your dad will get over the race issue. He may not be completely okay with it, but in all likelihood, he never will be. It will probably hard, but if you really like him, then date him, and your parents will eventually adjust.

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ok i like this boy and he likes me to he told that to my face and then said to me that he didnt want to go out with me because he thinks ima going to get as fat as my sister but im not and my sister aint even that big so some one help me and please dont tell me to forget him theres other fish in the sea because i cant forget him its like hes part of me now and i cant get away from him i see him every where i go and i cant avoid him so please some one help me before i go crazy!!!!!!:[

Are you kidding me? Wow, this guy is an ASSHOLE. Don't put up with that. I know that you really like him, probably a lot of it has to do with the fact that he is older. He isn't worth it. Think of what he would be like if you did go out. He would constantly be judging your appearance. It will seriously hurt your self esteem, and you DO NOT need that. Especially not at your age. It will be hard, and I know that you don't want to hear this, but you really need to distance yourself from him. It will benefit you more to make this one hard decision than to deal with the problems it will cause you down the road.

Good Luck.
Sarah

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I was over at this one guys house i have comment him on myspace and stuff. I had a dream I had sex with him. He's really hot.. lol. None the less I was at his house tonight and I was in the kitchen with him alone and I was like wheres your garbage? And he pointed over to where it was with a smile on his face [he was standing in the way with the fridge open so he closed it and smiled at me]. I threw out what i was holding and I went to walk away and he grabbed strawberries out of the fridge he was like hey you want a strawberry? And he opened them for me and held them out to me. I was like sure and I grabbed one and then i was like thank you and smiled at him do you think he was flirting?? or what?

It's hard to tell. How he smiled will really tell you. If you felt like he was flirting with you, he probably was. Go with your gut because it is probably right. Girls have a way of telling when a guy likes her. It could be that he was just being cordial because you were his guest, but most guys are assholes and aren't like that towards girls they don't like, so I would say that it looks pretty good.

Good Luck.
Sarah

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Ok so my crushes brother is about to tell me he likes me, and he doesn't know that I already know since he's so bad at keeping shut with a secret now I really don't want him to like me more than a friend because then my crush will obviously find out and then will respect his brothers feelings and stop flirting, talking, etc with me how do I turn him down nicely without sounding mean and still keep our friendship?

Tell it like it is. Say that you think that he is a really great guy and that you love being friends with him, but that you have a crush on his brother. If you don't tell him that you like his brother, then he is going to feel betrayed when he finds out. Leave everything out in the open. If you don't, then you can never have a relationship with your crush, because of his brother. If this guy really likes you, and you come clean about your crush, he will assure his brother that it is okay to date you.

Good Luck.
Sarah

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i know this guy in school i have 2 class with him. im good friends wit his sister both of them now i like him he was a senior this year and i was a jounior. we hang out and talk, we talk more he called and asked if he could see me and i said yes him and his friend came over i talk to him and he told me how he was leavin at the end of augest to got to college. his colletge is like 1hr away and he like he broke up wit his ex a couple of months and that he was lokkend for a girl the he wanted me. but from wut i her from my friend that she is crazy but i dont know if i can trust her wit wut happen wit his brother and his sister also told me that she is crazy. i dont want to deal wit dramma but i do like him and i wanted to date hime for a while. i want to know if i should or let him go to college and prolly never get that chace again
~izzy~

Well, when guys go to college, they want to be able to have fun and go to parties. You know, enjoy the college life. He wants to be able to do his own thing, and this isn't a good time to be starting a relationship with him. Take things slow. Tell him that you don't want to rush into things because you know that he is going to college soon and is going to want to be single once he gets there. Untill then, just have fun with him. You can hang out with him, just not obsessively. Keep in touch with him once he leaves. He will be back on weekends and holidays, and you can go and visit him sometimes too. If you really like him, then there will be a time for a relationship. Untill then, just wait and let him have fun at college. As for the girl, don't let her stand in your way. If she gives you any trouble, just ignore her and eventually she will figure out that you aren't as immature as she is and that you don't care, and she will stop.

Best of Luck.
Sarah

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Okay.I'm really stuck guys.I'm so mad and sad and frustrated with everything.There's this guy that I like.Let's call him Clayton.And Clayton is such a sweetheart and I can tell him anything and I know he'll listen.But me and him like..I don't know..he just doesn't like to make conversation at all.Unless I bring something up.And it usually goes like this:
Me: ...
Clayton: ?
Me: Oh nothing
Clayton: say it
Me: no
Clayton: why
Me: because
Clayton: just say ittt
And it goes on and on.And usually I only do that so he talks.Lol.Because otherwise, I really don't know what to talk about myself.And he doesn't like to open up to me..and it makes me mad.What do I do?

Haha well that's no basis for a relationship. Ask him questions. Ask what he did today. If he says nothing, say something witty like, "You didn't even eat? Wow!" That's bound to force him to tell you what he did. Then comment on something that he did. Tell him about your day. Then start asking other questions. About anything! If it comes to the point where you can't think of ANYTHING, tell him you want to play a game. A good one is "Never have I ever" take turns asking questions like... never have I ever been out of this country. If you have been out of the country, you lose a point. You start out with ten points and the winner is the one thats points last the longest. Suggest this to him. While you are playing, play off the questions that you guys ask. Ask him things and get a convo started. It sounds dumb, but it's a good icebreaker. You should try it!

Best of Luck.
Sarah

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17/f my boyfriend moved to florida and i live in texas. my dad said i can either visit him over thanksgiving break or christmas break. the other break we will take a family vacation. i know 3 of his friends are trying to go there over thanksgiving break. his friends are nice and all but it would be more fun if i could just hang with him. but if i went over thanksgiving i would have more time with him and it would be less expensive. but i spent new years with him this year and i would love to do it again. if you were me, when would you pick?

Christmas is a more personal time. His buddies won't be up there, so you can be with him alone. This is the time I would choose. While you know he's DYING to see you, he's also dying to see his buddies, and the bonding time isn't the same when you bring a girl into the picture. Let them have their guy time over Thanksgiving, and you go see him over Christmas. It is a more special holiday, so it should be spent with his most special guest, you.

Best of Luck!
Sarah

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Alright, so theres this girl who i really really like. The thing is its been a while since ive talked to her. So i have been talking to her recently, but im not sure what i should talk to her about? I told her how i feel, but i like her so much, that i just want to talk to her a lot, just to make her laugh, or happy, what should i do?

It's good that you told her how you feel. But don't be too crazy about it. A simple "I like you" will do. Don't freak her out. But besides that, just act cool. Be yourseelf, but don't be too over-the-top obnoxious. Just be laidback and sweet, and ask her to hang out sometime. What do you have to lose?

Wishing you the Best,
Sarah

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I love my bf rodney but recently (on the phone) if he says I have to go ill say ok but then kinda start to hate him, I dont know why I just get mad at him and sometimes I don't and sometimes I do. Is this normal, it has never happened before so can anyone please tell me why i am doing this, thnx

It sounds like you're just losing interest in the relationship. If he isn't doing anything wrong, then you have no reason to hate him other than... you don't like him as much as you once did. It may be that you are just going through a hard phase right now (which is normal, we all go through it) But if it doesn't stop, you may want to evaluate your relationship, or maybe your own personality.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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i like this guy who has a girlfriend. and a few weeks ago he told me he likes me. hes flirted with me a whole lot. well hes still going out with his gf, but he flirts with me even more now. like on the phone he tells me he cant wait till we hang out because im so fun and pretty and stuff. and he told me hes starting to like me alot more. but i feel bad flirting with him if he has a girlfriend, but its hard to stop flirting with him if i really really like him.
helppp me please.
ily

It sounds like this guy is just waiting to get a response from you before he breaks up with his girlfriend. He doesn't want to break up with her until he is sure that you like him and you will be there when he does.

You just need to talk to him and tell him honestly. If you want to date him, say that you really like him and you want to date him but he is going to have to work his situation out with his girlfriend. Don't keep sneaking around with him until he breaks up with her. He will have more respect for you if you let him know that you don't want to share him with another girl. Sit down with him and ask him if he wants a relationship with you. If he says that he does, tell him that you really like him, but that you can't see him while he has a girlfriend. Tell him that if he wants to end it with her, you will be there. Then, let him call you. Don't call him too much or hang out with him too much until he is done with her. After that, go for it.

If he doesn't want to break up with her and wants to flirt with you anyway, he isn't worth it. Even though he may seem wonderful, you have to look at it this way: He isn't willing to break up with his gf, but wants to flirt with you. If you ever do go out with him, whats to say he won't do the same thing to you.

Think about it and sit down and talk with him. Don't end the conversation until you know where you stand and have a plan on what you are going to do. Communication is key to having a good relationship, the sooner you start communicating, the better your relationship will be.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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help! im m/13 and ive only ever made out with a girl who wasnt my girlfriend and wasnt hot! whenever girls meet me they seem to be interested and curious and first then just get bored of me easily and dont really talk to me..... i have a little bit of difficulty talking to them but i get on well enough when there is a good topic.

For a 13 year old, you seem pretty ahead of the game. Every boy your age has trouble talking to girls. This is something that you will eventually grow out of. Just remember to be yourself and girls will like you. Try to act mature, but outgoing at the same time. That is really rare in a 13 year old, so if a guy is like that, girls will be all over him. I know I would have when I was 13. So don't worry about talking to girls right now. Just act naturally, and you will get the hang of it.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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M/15- I'm in the middle of nowhere and i can't find any girls to meet. Only the ppl in my neiborhood and it is small and it seems like no1 here is my age. I want to meet some1 but i feel like there is nobody here 2 meet. What do i do?

Don't go searching for girls, let them come to you. Get involved in everything that you can (sports, clubs, volunteer) Then be personable and nice to everybody. You also have to be outgoing. If you don't chase after girls, you will get a good reputation, and girls will want to be with you. Make yourself likeable and let them come to you.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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Me and my boyfriend have been going out like 1 or 2 weeks now and we're gonna make out and he's most likely gonna feel me up haha I'm okay with it and everything haha.BUT he said I can feel him "down" if I want to so if I have the courage tonight haha how would I go about doing this without putting my hands down his pants or anything ? I just wanna get him exited haha thnkx a million !! [p.s. no lectures please haha]

Honestly, I wouldn't reccomend just "feeling him" because unless you jack him off, your going to give him blue balls. This sucks for a guy and usually means he will pressure you into giving him a hand job. If you don't want to do that, then I would suggest staying above the waist.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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theres this guy i like, hes one year younger than me and hes really hot. whenever i hang out with him outside of school (which is hardly ever) we flirt alot with eachother. but at school we flirt a little bit but then he flirts with other girls aswell. then one night he started texting me and some how we ended up talking dirty to eachother and we dirty texted eachother every night after that and now i really like him. but still at school he doesnt act any different. well my question is how can i tell if hes just doing this for fun or if he likes me?

He is probably just nervous around you when he sees you at school. It is much more comfortable in an outside environment where you aren't with a bunch of your peers. This probably means that he does like you. He is probably just intimidated by all the other guys that are around you at school. It sounds dumb, but you would be surprised. If he acts like he likes you outside of school, then don't worry about it. Ask him to hang out more, and eventually he will be comfortable enough to act the same way when he is at school.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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There is this girl who i know used to like me a lot. Im not sure if she still does. I never thought i had feelings for her before, but now i realize i do... a lot. i think i may have came off as immature/annoying when i talked to her yesterday, and now she wont pick up when i call her, so i dont really want to talk to her and be annoying.. Do you think i still have a chance with her or shld i give it up?

I agree that you need to lay low for a little bit. Don't give it too much time though, because then you are giving her the impression that you aren't interested. Give it one or two days and then call her. If she doesn't answer, leave her a message. Be very mature and diplomatic when you leave it. Just say that you need to talk to her about something. When you talk to her, you need to be straight up with her. Tell her that you got the distinct impression that you were acting really dumb. Say that the truth is, you were only acting like that because you really like her. But be cute about it, not too serious. I know that it's hard to do, and in a teenage boys mind, it's completely gay, but take it from a girl that has dated a lot of guys, it isn't. It really does show a lot of maturity when a guy owns up to acting dumb and apologizing. Thats why girls always go for older guys. Ask her if you can have a chance to redeem yourself by taking her out one night. She will probably be thrilled since she did like you.

Trust me on this one.
Good Luck!
Sarah

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i am 19 and i dont know whatto do. i was living with my babys father and we are still together but wantedto move back to my moms so i could get a job and car. i couldnt do it with my boyfriend so i thought this would be a good thing to do before we went any further in the relationship. well i moved yesterday and now i think i made a mistake. he told me that i was breaking up our family and i didnt think i was doing that untill recently.now i think i made a mistake. what should i do i mean should i move back or not? we have been together for almost two years and i dont want emily to not be around her dad growing up but if i dont get my stuff together here at my moms i just dont know what to do please hlp me.

Yes, it is important that your child be around her father growing up. However, it is YOUR life. You aren't in a situation where she is never able to see him. What is more important is that you do what needs to be done in order to create a comfortable life for yourself and your daughter in the future. Getting a job is a fundamental step in that process. You're young. You need your parents support raising a child at such a young age. Emily's father should respect you for wanting to get your life in order. Don't feel like you made the wrong decision. You made a tough decision, but there is no right or wrong decision when it comes to something that can affect the rest of your and your child's life. This is a situation in which you have to really think about your priorities and act accordingly.

Best of Luck & God Bless.
Sarah

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So all of his friends think that we spend way too much time together. They think that I like to make him mad and shit. I dont understand what Im doing wrong. They say that I dont let him spend time with no one else. but I dont care if he does. Why does this have to be my fault. Should I just break up with him. I really truly love this boy...I just want him to be happy. We've been together 8 months. He got me a promise ring. He loves me and I love him. We have our lil fights but we always make up afterwards. HELP!!!!!!!

Encourage him to spend more time with his friends. Take a few days to spend with your girlfriends. Don't be too controlling over him, becasue that seems to be his friends issue. Also, plan a group thing where he invites some of his friends and you invite some of yours. Don't spend all your time with him, try to socialize with his friends too. As the saying goes, kill them with kindness. If you are super sweet to them, and you don't keep your boyfriend from spending time with them, they have no reason not to like you. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" ;-)

...in other words, make his friends your friends.

Good Luck!
Sarah

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