I have had my fair share of life's lessons and learned from them. I come from a family filled with divorce and family problems so I have a rough idea on how to personally handle things.
As for matters of the heart I can tell when a relationship is or isn't going to work. I understand the importance of communication and give and take after spending around two years in a relationship were I almost ran my ex boyfriend's household and looked after his siblings.
I understand that in certain parts of the world I am not yet of legal age to have a sexual relationship and that in some religious circles it is frowned upon for an unmarried woman to do so. What can I say? I have been in love and I have expressed that love but I have always been careful to avoid any trouble. I know how most contraception works and how the system works so don't be afraid.
Gender: Female
Location: UK
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2011
Answers: 144
Last Update: February 21, 2015
Visitors: 9190
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I want sex with my boyfriend but I'm lucky if I get a kiss of him. Im a girl and I only got my first bra today and I'm not finished with puberty I've snogged and my ex showed me how to have sex but he left my school my other ex dumped me for two girls in my class. My boyfriend isn't that serious and I want more but the ex that is still in school won't go back out with me. (link)
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Can I suggest taking a little break from sexual activity? I'm not jumping on the moral highground and about to point out the rules of age of consent and so on but an undeveloped body isn't quite as ready for sexual activity as say someone in their late teens.
Perhaps your current boyfriend isn't ready for sex either? Boys don't usually mature as fast as girls. He might be the same age as you but for all I know, he still might enjoy more childhood aspects of life.
Hope this helps.
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I am 17 and I have a huge crush on this cute guy who I work with which is 19. I want to ask him out to the cinemas but how do I ask him? And if he says yes, what would you do after the movie has finished?
How d i ask for his number? (link)
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I once played it really casual. I just started talking about a film I really wanted to see but didn't want to go billy-no-mates. Ask him his opinion of the film and suggest you go together. If the guy wants to hang out after suggest somewhere casual, cheap and cheerful like a fast food place.
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Well on Tuesday I managed muster up the nerves to tell this girl that I really liked her, but at the last minute I chickened out because I heard that she was going out with her ex again. So that night on Facebook I decided to ask if they were seeing each other and she said yes they were, then started asking if there was something I wanted to tell her...bottom line I snapped and told her that I do like her an have for a while now....this is where things start going down hill....she responded with this..
FINALLY!! i don't mean to sound cocky but ive known for a very long time that you've liked me, but has that affected the way i am around you NO OFC NOT!!! now that you have told me is that going to make things awkward between us deffo not, nothing is going to change between us!! Honest truth, if he wasn't in the picture things would be soooo different and ngl i probably would be with you, but he is in the picture and im sorry but i really like him! i will always have feeling for you, even when im a cripple and married I'll still have these feelings but i just think we should keep wha we've got now!! nothing will change though now you've told me okay, i promise!!
Then I said thanks for being honest ect and she comes back with this (we have an inside joke that we're married with kids, it's a detailed inside joke)
You will always be my husband!! and i mean it when i say this, if you had told me sooner, then maybe, maybe it would have been different but my feelings lie with will :L just know that i did like you and still have feelings for you!! i cant afford not to have you in my life though so please can we still be best friends??
I said yeah but could have some space to get over what has happened and she said that's fine, but yesterday at school I was louder than usual swearing a lot and when I got home all I've done is gloom around my room....what the hell is going on and what can I do about it!? I feel like I'm drowning, what the hell do i do?! (she is in loads of my classes) (link)
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It sounds like she is trying to spare your feelings in her own way. As for you, you are upset about how things have gone and that is perfectly understandable.
There isn't much you can do about it, you can either hope that she splits up with her boyfriend or move on and find a girl who is straight with you. If she truly loved her boyfriend she wouldn't have said that she liked you and classed you as her 'husband'. I am in a long term relationship and would never say to another man that I classed him as my husband because it wouldn't be fair to my partner.
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I am scared about my boyfriend getting back with his ex or talking to her it is bothering me but I don't know how to bring it up to him, he is a big part of my life I don't know what to think, sometimes I think he will leave me for another better girl or leave me for her how do I bring this up to him
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You have to ask yourself if you trust him. Trust is very important in a relationship. If you need reassurance then speak to him about that before you start accusing him.
My fiance's ex calls him quite a bit more than I would like, he knows it bugs me but he knows it isn't jealousy but annoyance at her interrupting us during nights in.
Perhaps ask him to limit her calls rather than stop them altogether? Ask how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and come to a compromise.
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Im 14, 15 in september and my Boyfriend is 19, nearly 20. We both really like each other and he hasnt tried to do anything I dont want to do. But our parents dont know we are dating and im not sure how to, or if I should tell them, what do you think i should do? (link)
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Relationships with more than one year age gap are best left until you are of legal age for sex in whatever country or state you live in.
As for your parents, at this moment in time they would be very concerned to hear of your relationship and probably try and put a stop to it.
My own mother would not accept it when I was in a relationship with someone six years older than me when I was in my late teens, she didn't take it very well at all and accused me of having intercourse when I had not.
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I am Male mid 20's
She is female mid 20's
Her friend is Male 30's I think???
First of all I am not a guy that is getting jealous about my girl texting other guys. It is just a very strange scenario. I will explain it a little bit.
1. She usually hangs out with the guy, his wife and kids. They are basically family friends, all good I get it.
2. When the wife and kids leave town and he stays because of work, she goes over there because he does not like to be alone.
3. Whenever we hang out, they usually text frequently unless we are on a date out of respect. Totally fine with it.
4. However, when she is over there. Especially on those weekends when the wife and kids leave town. Her replies to me are virtually none at all. Maybe 1 every 2-3 hours if any at all. (again totally fine but kinda of sketchy when looking at number 2&3.
Again, I totally love her and am not super jealous easily. I really have not gotten paranoid about this at all. She is super open about. She is the one who tells me she is going to hang out with him because he is home alone, when she could totally lie about it. I don't get pissy or mopey and try to make her feel bad about going over there because I trust her.
However it is slightly concerning to me, I just want other peoples feed back.
Am I just being paranoid and should not worry?
Or should I lay some rules down about this whole thing with her going over there alone with just those two. I would honestly say the most concerning thing to me is how she texts him when we hang and texts me when she is over there and the family is all there, but does not reply when it is just him and her there alone. I don't know, I don't want to start assuming anything but it is a strange situation. Any help would be awesome! (link)
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I agree it is a strange situation and you have the right to be curious, the fact that alarm bells are ringing is a good thing as you probably do not want their relationship to escalate int something more than friendship.
At this point I would suggest proving that you are the better man and fight for her. Try and discreetly prevent her from seeing him on his own as often by deciding to take her for a meal or to see a film. Do not at any point let on that you are suspicious or do not trust her because that could be the excuse she is looking for to get rid of you but do not just shrug it off either.
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Alright lets keep this simple
Im married but i have a crush on my husband's friend. I love everything about him if i was single this is someone i would absolutely date, i would never cheat on my husband but i find myself constantly thinking of his friend. I love my husband and i wouldn't leave him for anyone but i can not get him off my mind. How can i stop thinking of him? (link)
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Just think about how much you love your husband and put it before anyone else. Think about how your life would be without him and maybe you will be able to put the crush out of your mind.
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There's this boy in my school who is 16. We are close friends and he says I'm like his little sister. Yesterday I split up with my boyfriend and he started talking to me he said he was fat and I said prove it (we always say it joking around) so he sent me a picture of him with no top on and in his boxers and he told me to prove I'm not fat so he convinced me to send him a picture of my belly. Then he said he's sad because my picture wasn't like his and I said I can't take my top off to take a pic of my belly and he put you can. I said no and he was trying to convince me for half an hour before he finally said okay and I don't know what to do? Wether to tell someone? But the hardest part is he has told me he likes me and.. I might like him to ?.. I don't know wether to carry on talking to him or notv someone tell me what I should do? Much appreciated
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I think it best that you do not have anything to do with him. You are too young to have that sort of pressure on you at such a young age and he should know better.
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I am a male 52 yr old and absolutely adore large labia and never had the pleasure of meeting a woman with large labia. I dont know why women are so up tight about it. Men are not the same in size or thickness so do they worry about it (link)
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I guess when it comes to ourselves bigger isn't always better. The only part of the body most women like to be large is their breasts, however if they got what they wanted, a lot of women would be falling over because they'd have large breasts, small waist and backside.
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Hi, I have been in a live-in relationship for 4 years. (Both in our 40's) We live in Canada. My boyfriend who likes to drink every night (5 or 6 beers) maybe more on the weekends. My concern is not the drinking right now. Its my job. He likes to invite certain people who also like to drink over to our house in the middle of the week. They come over around 8pm and drink until around 12. I do have a few drinks as well but had noticed lately that it has been affecting my work. I call in sick the next day or I'm exhausted at work and cant function fully. I'm gaining weight and I feel awful. I tried talking to my boyfriend on numerous occasions asking him to hold off during the week and how this affects me. He says he understands and agrees with me then when the next week comes, they call and he answers the phone and lets them come over again. I'm not a big drinker, even on the weekends when I'm off I may just have 1 glass of wine or nothing. I cant keep up with this anymore. My job is important to me and I have people that rely on me at work to do a good job. The only peace I do get is when my job requires me to travel which is once a month for a few days. Where I can get good sleep and rest. I am losing sleep over this, tossing and turning at night worrying. I have turned off the phone on week nights sometimes just so he doesn't answer it. But I hate doing that in case people are trying to get a hold of us in case of emergencies. Do you have any advice? I have no one here to talk to. We live in a remote area in the north. Really small community where everyone talks. I appreciate any advice. Thank you to all. (link)
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I think you have to be a bit firmer with your other half and explain the severity of the situation such as what he plans to do if you lose your job and you start to struggle with the bills? Not to mention the emotional problems losing a job can have on a person and is he willing to help you with that? Of course you deserve to have fun and have friends round but not at the expense of your job.
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I'm 16 , I hate young dudes . what would be my age limit to date an older dude ? (link)
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It depends which country you live in; I have always had a taste for the older man. At 16 your parents will not approve of you dating an older man, I did this and my folks accused me of all sorts of things I wasn't doing.
I'd say you can only have a 2-3 year age gap when you are in your teens to be 'socially acceptable' however love comes in all kinds of ages, shapes and sizes.
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Can a relationship survive on not so good sex my boyfriend is 22. I'm not sure if it's because he was in a terrible accident when he was younger but he can't stay hard and if he does get off its not very much. I enjoy sex a lot. Could these become a problem. (link)
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Relationships are not just based on sex, there is affection, trust, love, fun and helping each other through good and bad times. I confess that my sexual appetite is greater than my partner's but I do not feel any less about him and we are due to marry in a couple of years time because in the great scheme of things it is not that important as a life without him.
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Everyone wants to be on birth control but I want to be pregnant! Are there pills you can take to make you more fertile so you get pregnant easier? (link)
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It is recommended to take folic acid supplements if you are trying for a baby and plenty of iron containing foods. If you are struggling to get pregnant perhaps see a specialist with your partner and check that you are both fertile.
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Hi! So I'm 18 & my boyfriend is 19, we've been dating for about 9 months now & we've started talking about having sex! I'm a little nervous because we are both virgins, but I really want to expierience this with him. He has a genetic disease called cystic fibrosis & because of this he is infertile. Even though I know this, I'm still scared about getting pregnant. We talked about it & he suggested that he just pulls out before...you know. But I'm still unsure... Any advice? (link)
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Condoms do not only protect against pregnancy but STIs (sexually transmitted infections) which even innocent couples can get from having sex with each other.
Also due to your age I would be cautious about anyone claiming that they are 100% infertile no matter what diseases they have. You do not want to get pregnant after your first time so always take precautions and maybe go to a family planning clinic to discuss your options together as a couple.
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I am a 44 year old woman. I have been married for 3 years. During the marriage I have been happy, but my husband hasn´t been. He has cheated on me 3 times, left me twice, and has currently asked me for a divorce. My problem is: I fight tooth and nail for a reconciliation. I have used logic, patience, understanding, and giving in to my husband´s every whim to get him to see how worthwhile it is to have a good life together. I feel all it takes is maturity and respect to make things work. To me, divorce is the last resort. I would feel like a total failure with divorce. When I didn´t agree to divorce, my husband became infuriated. He started throwing things, breaking things, and yelling F*** YOU, I HATE YOU. I cant let him go! I have an addiction to this man that I cant shake. What do I do? (link)
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I am sorry to hear about your marital problems but it is difficult loving someone who does not love back. You seem to be in a lose-lose situation in that if you get divorced you are unhappy but he will be and if you don't you are in a marriage with a man who has no respect for you and clearly does not want to be married to you any longer.
Perhaps try a trail separation before you go to court and make any decisions? Give each other between 2-4 weeks of minimal contact and go from there, meet for coffee and discuss your options.
I wish you all the luck in the future.
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My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 6 months now. He's the best guy I've been with and our relationship is wonderful. The problem lies in the fact that he is good friends with an ex. I actually recently found this out because they don't hang out too often, but do talk/text occasionally. She is also in a serious relationship herself. My boyfriend and her had a clean, mess-free break and it was many years ago. Is this normal? I'm feeling threatened, and don't know how to react since I've never been in a situation like this before. I have no reason to not trust him, but it makes me worried that he's still close with someone he was in a relationship with. Am I making a big deal out of a non deal-breaker? (25/f) (link)
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Take care, jealousy can cause irrational thoughts and actions. The last thing you want to do is alienate your boyfriend and come across as unreasonable. I have been there myself with my own other half and it drove me crazy, especially as she didn't have anyone else and believe me it is a lot harder.
I would take comfort that she is in a serious relationship with someone else. It is normal to still speak after a mess-free break up. My step-dad's parents get on famously unmarried and they both moved on.
At the end of the day he is in a relationship with you and not her. For what ever reason she had her time, it didn't work out and she has moved on but still thinks a lot of her ex as a person, which is a lot nicer than avoiding each other and feeling bitter.
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21/female
Okay so me and my bf broke up 2 months ago. We went about a month and a half with out speaking to each other. He texted me first just to check how I was doing and then recently he asked me to go to a concert with him. then he asked me to spend easter with him and his family. And then I spent his birthday with him and his family again. I don't know what to make of the situation. Im getting mixed signals and I don't know why he keeps inviting me around him and his family. (link)
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You need to ask yourself what you want before you ask what he wants. Is it friendship or more? Only the two of you can decide. I used to go around to my ex's a lot when we broke up as I was still on good terms with him and his family. This went on for a couple of years but then we both went our separate ways and were seeing other people.
It is all to do with intent and you have to make sure that if it is what you want, you make sure you are giving him the message that you want nothing more than friendship.
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Hi, so I'm a gay male. I've been married for only half a year. My husband and I had been together and deeply in love for a year before we got married. But he's changed a lot in the past couple months. (Ever since we said the I do) he temper has gotten awful, all we do is fight. He doesn't want to allow me to dress how I used to. Doesn't let me see friends. He won't let me go back to school or get a vehicle of my own. He talks to other guys online. Tells people how much he hates me. But to my face he says he loves me and cares about me. Our fights start about any little thing you can think of, and blow out of proportion and turn into huge fights. I've heard that the first 5 years are supposed to be the best but the first 5 months have been an emotional roller coaster. He loves me one day and hates me the next. The only time I get attention is right before bed and only if he wants sex. Other than that I just don't matter until he needs money or cigarettes. He won't get a job. I pay for all of his expenses. Including the car (that is not mine) that he "lets" me drive to work. I feel he may have cheated. He leaves with his friends and doesnt ever let me know where he is when im at work, and gets mad if i ever want to go out. hes really isolated me from my friends and family. He's extremely controlling and mentally abusive. He's basically destroying me. And I just don't know if I should keep trying anymore. He used to treat me like gold. Now I'm just dirt on his boots. Happy valentines day-
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When I come across a post like this I try so hard to remain impartial. I usually say how it isn't all black and white and that there are shades of grey with everything but for the first time, I must say I do not think your husband is being fair to you at all.
In an attempt to be fair to him I will ask to you to consider some kind of couples' counselling before you make any decisions.
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im currently in a relationship with my girlfriend for around a year 3months now, due to my past e.g parents spliting up etc, im worried my girlfriend will do the same and its now putting pressure on our relationship. how can i stop the past in my head. (link)
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It is difficult to come from a broken family and be in a relationship. My own parents are divorced and I've found that at some point I have been scared that it is genetic.
However it appears that I am not doomed to failure and I am sure you are not either. It has been difficult and I have made mistakes but I have managed to be in a long term relationship and have no intention of ever letting it end.
Be strong and concentrate on what you want, see the past as a 'how not to do it' kind of lesson.
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18/f
i love my bf with all my heart and my mom dont approve of him. i dought that mom will allow me to marry him. am not sure that i need her premission or not. so should i tell her or not? (link)
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In the UK the answer is no but other countries have a higher marital consent age limit. I am not going to say that you are too young or that you should accept your mother's wishes for personal reasons but I will say that I know someone who broke his mother's heart when he got married and didn't tell her. Eventually she accepted it and did her best to get on with her son's wife but she knew from day one that the marriage wouldn't work. It took over ten years but the marriage did come to an end and she was very relieved.
What I will say is that before you marry get to know each other as well as possible, live together for at least 3 months before you decide.
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