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am not sure if im allowed to get married.
18/f
i love my bf with all my heart and my mom dont approve of him. i dought that mom will allow me to marry him. am not sure that i need her premission or not. so should i tell her or not?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
In the UK the answer is no but other countries have a higher marital consent age limit. I am not going to say that you are too young or that you should accept your mother's wishes for personal reasons but I will say that I know someone who broke his mother's heart when he got married and didn't tell her. Eventually she accepted it and did her best to get on with her son's wife but she knew from day one that the marriage wouldn't work. It took over ten years but the marriage did come to an end and she was very relieved.
What I will say is that before you marry get to know each other as well as possible, live together for at least 3 months before you decide.
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Depending on where you're from being 18 makes you an adult. As an adult you no longer need parental permission to marry or enter into any other type of contract. That is mans law in most western Countries. Tradition(s) of Heritage and religious values are different than mans law but do not override mans law.
Even though you may be seen as an adult by law let me offer this advice. At 18 you are still very young and in many way naive in the ways of the world; this includes love. Statistically if you were to marry at your present age your marriage has the greatest chance of failing than if you were to wait 5 to 10 years.
Your mothers disapproval of your boyfriend and a possible desire by you to leave home and live on your own may be blinding you to what your mother sees. My niece married a young man when they were both just 19. The marriage lasted 4 years and she was deep in debt when it ended. Thankfully her mother and step-father stepped in to help her with the debt. No one in the family liked the boy she married but she did and moved to the opposite coast. Now at 34 she has married a wonderful young man who idolizes her and she him. This young man has a wonderful career, something her first husband couldn't seem to grasp the concept of and still can't from what we hear.
The moral of my story is this. You probably do not need moms permission to marry especially if you live in the U.S. What you should do is stop and think about why mom disapproves of your BF. With age comes maturity and wisdom. Mom sees something you are either being blinded to or don't see. Talk to her, find out what that is. Then make your decision.
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You do not say where you are from.
In the United States, 18 is the age were you are recognized as a full adult. Therefore, you do not need parent permission to do things anymore.
While it would be nice to have your moms approval and blessing, it's not necessary and you can get married without her permission or without her knowing.
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