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the past ruining my relationship
im currently in a relationship with my girlfriend for around a year 3months now, due to my past e.g parents spliting up etc, im worried my girlfriend will do the same and its now putting pressure on our relationship. how can i stop the past in my head.
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It is difficult to come from a broken family and be in a relationship. My own parents are divorced and I've found that at some point I have been scared that it is genetic.
However it appears that I am not doomed to failure and I am sure you are not either. It has been difficult and I have made mistakes but I have managed to be in a long term relationship and have no intention of ever letting it end.
Be strong and concentrate on what you want, see the past as a 'how not to do it' kind of lesson.
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Well the past is in the past and that's where it needs to stay.
Your parents' relationship is not you and your girlfriend's relationship. Every relationship is different. I know how sometimes people use other people's relationships as a template for their own. But the problem with that is when that template is gone, you feel lost. You feel like your relationship is on the same path as the other relationship because you follewed it's example.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that you and your girlfriend don't have to split up because your parents split up. Your relationship is what you make of it and what you put into it.
So in order to stop the past in your head you need to focus on your present. Enjoy what you have and don't worry about what it is or what it's not. Love your girlfriend because you LOVE HER, not because you don't want her to leave you. Love her out of love not out of FEAR.
DO NOT BASE YOUR RELATIONSHIP ON ANOTHER COUPLE'S RELATIONSHIP because you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
I really hope this helps and I wish you and your girlfriend all the best and many years to come.
~Andrew~
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Hello,
Don't worry about the past. Things happen for a reason; good or bad as they only serve as experiences. Don't worry about your girlfriend either, if she loves you she will be with you. Just don't get obsessed in thinking about the past because it will ruin your relationship and it will eventually ruin yourself. Try to think in an optimistic way and enjoy your life and important people who make you happy. Good luck!
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