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boyfriend and his ex
My boyfriend and I have been together a little over 6 months now. He's the best guy I've been with and our relationship is wonderful. The problem lies in the fact that he is good friends with an ex. I actually recently found this out because they don't hang out too often, but do talk/text occasionally. She is also in a serious relationship herself. My boyfriend and her had a clean, mess-free break and it was many years ago. Is this normal? I'm feeling threatened, and don't know how to react since I've never been in a situation like this before. I have no reason to not trust him, but it makes me worried that he's still close with someone he was in a relationship with. Am I making a big deal out of a non deal-breaker? (25/f)
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Trust is a vital component to any relationship. You should definitely talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, remind him that you trust him completely. It's understandable to feel that way, if the situtation were flipped, he probably would not feel so comfortable either. An "ex" is supposed to be someone from the past, not the present, in my opinion. If this were me I would feel the same as you.
As your boyfriend, he will/should understand the sensitivity of the circumstance and comfort youe, as well as assure you there is nothing to worry about. Depending on how greatly you feel about this, perhaps he needs to consider cutting off communication at some point. Remember that you are his girlfriend, while his ex is merely a friend, your feelings need to be considered first.
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Take care, jealousy can cause irrational thoughts and actions. The last thing you want to do is alienate your boyfriend and come across as unreasonable. I have been there myself with my own other half and it drove me crazy, especially as she didn't have anyone else and believe me it is a lot harder.
I would take comfort that she is in a serious relationship with someone else. It is normal to still speak after a mess-free break up. My step-dad's parents get on famously unmarried and they both moved on.
At the end of the day he is in a relationship with you and not her. For what ever reason she had her time, it didn't work out and she has moved on but still thinks a lot of her ex as a person, which is a lot nicer than avoiding each other and feeling bitter.
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