I have been going through a really tough time. My serious relationship of 3 yeas ended. The guy ditched me just before marriage. This my 3rd relationship failure. I'm 32. People around me are getting married and kids. I don't have many friends. I'm alone ans cry everyday. My confidence is shaking. I don't hv anyone to share my deepest feelings. I regret many things in life. I feel anxiety thinking about my future.
I've been in the same situation as you. I put years into a serious relationship, engaged for a year and he just abruptly left. I didn't really have friends either. It sucks when people around you are moving forward when you feel like you got stuck behind. I got depressed over it because I had thought I wasn't worthy of deserving those things. You have to remember other people's lives aren't your story. You have to create your own and move forward. We all do this at different paces. You are young and you've got time. There's nothing to worry about. You are allowed to be upset and to wallow because it's tough. At some point, you've got to stop thinking negatively and start focusing on yourself. Start doing things that will make you happy. You can be single for awhile, try to make friends or even slowly start to date when you're ready. You're just starting over and you're going to have new/better experiences. You have a future with someone else who will care about you. Someone who loves you won't just drop you like that. Try not to think about things you regret or putting a time frame on specific things because that will only hold you back. Think how you have handled breakups in the past and do something differently this time. I personally used to wallow and do nothing but I forced myself to do things that gave me anxiety: returning to school, juggling a new job and making friends with strangers. A break could be good for you. Focus on being independent, moving on and look forward to the future. Don't dread it!!
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I've been going through a recent complicated break-up. The thing is I kinda rejected him because I want to get my life back together first before being in a committed relationship. I wasn't able to offer my heart back in return to this guy who loved me so purely because I got scared that the moment I say 'yes' we'd be in a really serious relationship. And the thought of being in a serious relationship scared me. I got scared and I made a stupid mistake by talking to it with another guy friend. And it almost felt like I cheated on him, he felt like I cheated. And now he's not in love with me anymore and that it's impossible for us to be together again. Which hurt so bad.
I know all of that's kinda convoluted, but long story short, I'm hurt because I hurt the one guy who's never done anything but love me so purely and see the best in me by being a stupid and weak girl. What if he's the one for me, what if I blew the chance to be with my soulmate? What if I never meet anyone who will love me as much as he did? I can't get over the pain and the loneliness no matter what I do.
I know I've made a mistake too. But I'm not aiming to get back together with him, because he's already said it's impossible. Now he just wants to be friends with me because he knows we're really close and he doesn't want to lose that and he said that I don't deserve to be abandoned completely. What should I do to get over him and forgive myself? I'm really sorry it was really long. Thank you to anyone who will help.
I'm confused.. he's no longer interested in you because you opened up VERBALLY with another person? And did you actually date before or did it not start yet?
If you already explained to him that you weren't ready and you wanted to focus on yourself.. then he should have waited. It makes sense to put yourself first when you don't want to jump right into something.
All you did was talk to another person and he's behaving that way.. he might feel betrayed and jealous.
It's great that you are wanting to get your life together and you are doing YOU.
If he really wants to be with you then he'll get over it. Just him saying it's impossible seems like an attempt to hurt you even more and try to get you to cling onto him.
If you want a relationship with this person then explain it to him. If it's still "impossible" and you're too hurt over this then you say you can't be friends. Don't play those kind of games because you will feel worse getting strung along.
Keep on focusing on yourself, surround yourself with positivity and great friends.
The best way to get over someone is to remove them for your life. Block accounts, phone numbers and don't see each other because you'll just drag out the healing process. If you feel like you could be friends still then go for it!
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Hey! I'm a fifteen year old girl, sophomore. My boyfriend is a seventeen year old boy, junior. We've been dating for three months but we've been friends for years. Okay the thing is, I'm a girl that's extremely attracted to the athletic kind of guys, and really turned off by laziness... That's just my type I guess. My boyfriend is fit and active and plays football and baseball. Butttt... he's recently decided he wants to quit baseball. He says he just doesn't want to play this year. Is it bad that I WANT him to play?? Because I do... It's just thats part of why I'm attracted to him I thought that was part of who he was and I dunno I feel like it's really shallow but I just want him to play. And I don't know what to do because it's actually bothering me... I don't know how to get it across to him that I don't think he should quit but ugh I don't know what else to do... It's not completely shallow reasoning though. Two years ago I quit soccer (my reasons were a little different though I quit so I could join a more time consuming competitive cheer squad) but I really really miss soccer. I thought I didn't want to do it anymore but I still wish I could have done both. I've told him this but he sounds pretty set. My third reason is... I'm worried that when he has nothing to do and when I'm going to be really busy with cheerleading that he's going to get super demanding of my time. Baseball workouts are just about to start too so I can't put off this problem... What shoudl I do??
Right what you have there is what you should explain to him.
I'll have to agree and say that I'll like my SO to be focused on something. Whether it's physical or not. I am not attracted to laziness because I have been like that in the past (going nowhere basically) and want my SO to have the same goals/motivation to further motivate me.
What i mean is to tell him that you quit soccer and that you missed it. Maybe he would to with baseball. If he doesn't want to do it, you should accept it and push him to towards another hobby. What does he like? What does he do?
I don't think he would be too demanding if he knew you had cheer leading related things to do. I think he would be more understanding since he's in sports and such.
Is he only quitting baseball? If he's pursuing football you should support him :)
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when a guy looks at you and smiles and then looks down and smiles?
Honestly?
It can be mean anything.
Maybe he got caught staring at you and is embarrassed. Maybe he thinks you're attractive or something. But the fact that he looked down, just makes me think he got 'caught' for staring. You can make whatever you want of it but you'll never know for sure if you don't attempt to make conversation with him. Smile back and say hi.
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long!
That sounds quite odd. He didn't admit to a thing because you had no evidence to back you up. The fact that it is now hidden just says it all. A facebook group is ridiculous and he shouldn't be writing about personal bits of your relationship. What did he write that was personal. Was it bad?
If he doesn't own up to it then that's an issue. He shouldn't announce on a public group (maybe?) About what goes on in your relationship without your consent. It makes matters worse that you pointed out a secret and now it's private.
Honesty is so important in a relationship.
If he can't open up to you and admit to what he did then you need to have a serious talk about the future with him.
Is it still private to your bff?
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you stated you refuse to have sex? for what reasons and why? during marriage? are you catholic?
Where was this stated?
I'm not a virgin or religious.
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16/f
i went out with my ex for 2 years, i loved him ALOT. we broke up because he moved (bad relationship of him cheating) .. a year later i have a new boyfriend, on the 13th we will be together for 4 months. I know i like him but sometimes i have no desire to cuddle with him. he say's i have a wall blocked up for me to fall in love with him because im scared i'll be hurt again. i honestly dont know what it is. im very laid back
It is a wall. It takes time to open up again. It's been a year but cheating is pretty serious and you had time to put that in your past. You didn't rush into a new relationship after, right? You just sound scared. Have you talked to your boyfriend about it?
Not feeling passion and feeling it just depends on your mood. Everyone has off days. Sometimes I'm not in a mood to cuddle or make out but other days I am.
Every relationship is different. It's a risk you are willing to take when you get into one. But since it IS different, you should trust that person until they give you a reason not to.
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I'm a 15 year old female physically active with very soon-to-be 18 year old guys. One is a fuck buddy who raped me at age 14 but for some reason after it all happened I was too confused to leave. The other's my good friend. They're both 18 in less than a month. Is this illegal and, if so, am I putting either of them in any danger?
thanks
Rape is illegal.
An adult having sex with a minor is called statutory rape and it's illegal.
It does not matter if you are a week or so away from your 18th birthday, it's still statutory rape. It also does NOT matter if you gave that person consent either.
If you say you are having sex with an 18 year old, they WILL put that adult under arrest and try to do a rape kit on you. (Witnessed this)
Drop the rapist. It's not unusual for someone to willingly continue having sex with the person they got raped by. You were forced against your will. It's not right. A real friend or good person would not do that. If you can't get the guy out of your life then try getting the cops involved.
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okay boyfriend trouble. i've been dating this guy for about a month now and im a little confused. i can tell he has very strong feelings for me and he knows i have strong feelings for him too. but he hasn't said i love you yet.. i don't get it. i mean all my ex's had said it way earlier than a month. he's almost said it like 3 times but i have this wierd feeling telling me he's afraid to say it cause he doesn't know what my reaction will be. i know im intimidating at times but i try to soften my expression whenever im with him. what can i do to make him not scared to say it? without losing my way of spitting game and without saying it first. any advice would be grand:) thank ya.
My boyfriend said that within a week of dating and I told him to stop. I've watched many relationships end because things were rushed.
He hasn't said it for a reason. I think that's a good sign considering you have been dating for about a month. Every person is different.
Some are waiting for that right moment to make it special or don't want to say it to avoid any possible awkward reactions. Cause I'm sure everyone has heard "she/he said it too soon and the other person freaked out" thing.
I didn't want a relationship that said that within the first few months because half of the time you are still getting to know that person.
Even if you have known that person for awhile (months-years) a relationship is still a big step and saying it could be intimidating on it's own.
You should say it when you know the feeling is mutual or when you've dated for many months.
You should try not saying it the first time in this relationship and see how it goes. He's with you for a reason though, just remember that. He likes you and cares about you. Waiting can be good.
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I read that you wrote once, "I used to have that problem and my boyfriend broke up with me over that.. because he thought he was a disappointment when he couldn't see me. Don't get upset.. look forward to the day you see each other. Give him some space or if you are too clingy, he might get annoyed. So do your own thing.. like rent some movies, play a game or read. Plan a date for you and him, something special and it will be worth it. This worked for me. The longer you don't see each other.. the more he would miss you and then he would be the one trying to hang out with you."
Did it work? We have a date planned for saturday just me and him, to have alone time. I've already backed away and given him bro time, and scaled my text messages. I just wish I didn't feel so stupid that I actually have to monitor myself over this. Any tips?
It worked back then when I was still dating that guy. Eventually it just turned into a habit and I didn't come off as clingy into my next relationship
I think what you are doing right now is great. Keep yourself somewhat occupied and have a life outside the relationship. The longer you date someone these things sort of fall into place without having to think too much into your actions.
Clingy just gets bad when you call over 5 times when you know they are out watching a movie or something. That sort of thing.
Hanging out with your own friends is a good sign. It's pretty common for couples to stop doing that. Works for some, doesn't for others.
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He's being really weird around my girlfriend, and she doesn't know it, but he flirts with her all the time. I am afraid if I say something about it, my girl will get mad at me. What should I say without making my problem worse?
I am 16/m
Don't talk to your girlfriend about it. She's not the problem. If she doesn't recognize it, it's not considered a threat. It depends if he acts like that around other girls too. Maybe he's just like that. You can tell him to stop by doing a few things like holding her hands or being somewhat closer to her when he's around. If he's not taking the hint, speak up.
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Okay so I have a lot of guy friends and they all love talking to me. I have a crush on a few of them, and I'm pretty sure they like me at least a little bit. But there's always some girl who is hotter than me, or cooler than me that they like more. How can I make myself sexier? What do guys consider hot?
Confidence is hot. Don't doubt yourself. What is hot and sexy is totally up to the guy. But really, some guys think porn stars and celebs are sexy but they would not want their lover to look like that at all. Natural, confidence and a cute smile. It's different for every guy so if you are highly interested in one.. you need to start flirting :P
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my bf is nice, i wont deny that. he may be crude sometimes but hes a nice boy. problem is hes not that sweet. he doesn't do things that you wanna go awww. not that hes boring or anything, hes just not cute either. hes funny and stuff but i guess im such a girl that i fall for the stupid little things like being called princess and sent cute messages etc. i feel like this is keeping me from falling in love with him. its a bit shallow i guess but those things are what make me fall in love. but of course i dont want to tell him this, I dont want him to be sweet if its forced and he feels like he has to. so my question is how can i indirectly influence him be sweeter, or more romantic?
i know some of you will want to say that maybe that's just not him, and i shouldn't change him because i cant, but you know what, this same thing happened to my friend and her bf. he wasnt the type to be sweet, but then i have no clue what she did and now hes like the cutest guy ever and romantic and all, even tho its not in his personality at all. So i see that it IS possible...how do i do it?
thanks in advance! =)
You'll need to wait. If you happen to watch a movie and something romantic comes up, you can go aww how sweet. He might take a hint. Do things like that to hit it off or otherwise wait. If it's a new relationship (under a year) it may take some time for him to open up like that. If you don't show him that you're interested in romance, then he won't know. Guys don't take indirect hints well. I don't think you should break up with him or anything over that either. It's just he doesn't know and he probably doesn't know if you'll want to receive a treatment like that. You can tell him a fake story about how somebody's boyfriend dropped on by and did this and that.. and how sweet/wonderful/cute it was.
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our anniversary is coming and i dont know what i should get him or give him i dont want it too be way to big or fancy just something to show him i love him and care for him and its only been a month a buncha ideas are great!
Something very small (Especially if you don't know if he "celebrates" monthly anniversaries lol.) a bag of his favorite candy or a cute teddy bear. You could plan a date out to fast food or watch movies [either at home or theaters]
save ...
making him a CD, dinner dates, cards, etc for later dates.
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mmm, alright!
so im a girl, im 14 years old, almost 15 thou (:
anywayssss; i like older boys, like 16, 17, 18, 19.. like that. haha.
i like older boys around that age cause their mature and dont act like lil' boys.
now, the problem is that usually guys that are older like that, that im intrested in usually take me for granted and only think of me for one thing... and im deffinetaly NOT that type of girl.
how do i get guys to take me seriously, and actully get them to want me as a girlfriend?
(: graciass peopel!!
I wouldn't limit yourself to an age group. Most guys around that age are usually no different sadly.. and they.. as you know .. only want you for one thing. Most guys around the age 16 [nowadays] have already had sex so relationships don't get by any easier now. My best friends have been mostly guys and I've been surrounded by them so I know what they think and I've heard/see what they have done. =\
Just be yourself and don't put yourself out there so much because you want to keep it simple and sweet. Confidence is great.
There's certain guys who believe they can get any girl they want, even young as you, and since they believe that.. they might only want you around just so you would put out. I've been friends with those guys and they have hurt a couple of girls over the years. You have to see what guys are pigs and steer clear from them
I'll stick to dating near your age or just waiting because older guys probably won't take you seriously. Most guys are going for the older chicks too lol You have to wait for guys to "change/grow up" over summer. I've seen some immature guys change to handsome mature ones. You need to give them time. Maybe a year, two or possibly three! Lol
Right now, they only view you as 14 year old. Many older guys probably wouldn't even look at you as a possible girlfriend. There's some that would judge you because of your age and view you as immature EVEN if they have never spoken to you before. Even if they did like you, their friends might joke around liking a little girl and it's just really messed up now. If you can find a mature guy that strays away from friends like that, then good for you!
It's really not easy to date someone older. You just have to find the right person who would respect you and like you despite your age/grade. So it's best to wait it out until you're 15 or 16. Maybe you can find a guy with the same age who is mature, just look in places you normally don't. :]
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14/f
my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost six months. and i still love him. but he never calls. he never texts. he never emails. and he never offers to hang out. its always me who calls first. and its hard for me. like the other day, i was talking to him, and he's like, "sorry i havent called you in a while, ive been really busy." and i was like, "oh ok, well what have you been up to?" and he goes, "oh nothing." so i was kind of upset that he didnt even come up with an excuse. he always says, "i really love you!" or, "i love you so much" but he doesnt PROVE it. i love him, but i cant keep doing this. i am his first girlfriend, and, even though i cant wait to get over him, i dont want to crush him. so how do i break up with him? i was thinking about doing it over the phone, but is that wrong? i dont think that would be a good way to do it. if i do it in person, what do i say? where should i go to break up with him? i really need help.PLEASE help me!!
You are his first girlfriend, he's probably nervous and stressed out. He probably has no idea what to do. Have you even talked to him about this? You need to let him know how you feel and that he needs to call you or at least do something first. You need to know what's going on with his life. Just take the time to find out what as going on and if it's just a lame excuse, just dump him. In person, text, email or on the phone. But really, if he said 'nothing' then it must be something. Maybe he's going through something at home? It sounds like you need more communication. Do you always start conversations? [emails, texts, etc?] It really depends on how much you do it and if he's a shy person.
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I have a crush on 2 girls. I can't decide witch I should go with. How do I decide???
Ask each one on a date..whether it's just you and her.. or a group thing.. like bowling, pizza, movie, etc. Just start off as friends so you get to know them.. and see if they show any interest in you then make your move. And possibly knowing their relationship history could help.. you don't want to be with someone who only lasts in a relationship for like 2 weeks lol
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okayy here the thingg..
I was with my boyfriend last night
and he sat me on top of his lap..
Then he started tickling me so I
started wiggling around on his
lap. Then he started tickling me harder
and I noticed he had a weird expression
on his face and his leg was tapping fast..
plus he would constantly pull me higher onto
his lap and start breathing hard..then
start tickling me again..
What is he trying to do?
Is he horny or something?
Horny probably because you were probably bouncing a bit on his lap. I can't really sit on my boyfriend's lap because apparently I tease. pssh. Did you feel an erection? :p
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My boyfriend's friend says That my bf's
Really loud and obnoxious with his friends
But quiet around me. is this good or bad?
i don't see how it's bad.
that's usually how some guys are. they might be obnoxious and loud with their friends but not around you, because he likes you. He doesn't want to look 'stupid or obnoxious" in front of you. If he's quiet or shy around you, then he must really like you. Just make him feel more comfortable around you or give it some time for him to open up.
I guess it depends on how you are when you're with him. If you're quiet too then it's probably awkward?
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Okay so I have a boyfriend who recently hit his mom..Okay more like bruised it up.. and he might be heading for boot camp this summer. and he threw a plazma Big screen tv at his 12 yr, brother.
he says his brother was throwing a chair at him though. few months ago he got sent to his dads cause he did somehting wrong then him and his dad got in a fist fight.. he says he "Beat the s*** out of him" which isnt all that good sense he got searched, hand cuffed and taken down to the police station.. should i be worried? hes not abbusive right? just a temper?
My boyfriend is bi-polar, his temper is horrible but he has never hit his own family or anything like that. It's obvious he's abusive. He has hit his mother and used objects to hurt his brother.. If he hit his mom, I'm sure he wouldn't have any problem hurting you. He would probably try pulling off that "it's just my temper" excuse. I'm sure he's a nice guy to you but I have a feeling, if you made him extremely angry, he might take it out on you.
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