I am 17, living in New England.
I have a brother (6) and a sister (11) and two parents who I get along with really well. (it's not always easy!)
I like writing poetry and music. I play piano and guitar (and a little bass). I love reading, shopping, and being stupid with my friends and my boyfriend.
I like giving advice because I love writing, connecting with people, and sharing things I've learned.
Ask me anything and I'll try and help! :-)
Some areas of expertise: long distance relationships (my boyfriend is 3 states away at college!), family stuff (I have learned how to tame parents, haha!), messy breakups, makeup tips, and anything about clothes!
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Member Since: January 24, 2005
Answers: 43
Last Update: January 24, 2006
Visitors: 3349
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I have this problem, I really like having guy friends, and I can do stuff around them, like be my stupid self, and they can act the same. But if I start dating one of them, I get all shy. I hate this. What can I do to change it? (link)
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Make sure you are dating someone who is your friend. Keep that in mind. The best relationships are born of great friendships. Just remember to keep everything about your friendship the same. Have the same silly jokes and the same deep conversations, even when you're romantically involved.
It can be a weird transition but try to remind yourself that friendship is the basis for a relationship and try to be yourself. :-)
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So I havent had a boyfriend in a long time and i am thinking of giving up but im not sure what i shood do....Im not shy and im outgoing and most people would call me pretty but its like no guy ever asks me out or nething....they just see me as a piece of ass but i want to be seen as more then that....Please help...any suggestions would be great! (link)
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Good for you!
Knowing that you want more is the first step. Unfortunately, the guys who want to see you as more can be rare.
It sounds like you're doing everything right. You're friendly and interesting and you have lots of friends. Just keep it that way. Make friends who are guys and girls and don't rush the boyfriend issue. Many good things are often found when you aren't even looking.
You have the right idea. Seeing yourself as valuable will help other people see you this way. Present yourself in a way that shows you respect yourself and you want to be seen as you are inside. Sooner or later, the RIGHT guy will notice, and one right guy is better than a hundred ones in a row who aren't into who you really are inside.
Have patience and know that you are great with or without a guy in your life!
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im in 8th grade and me and my boyfried have been going out for a few months...but we dont rly talk on the phone.We talk ALOT in school but not on the phone and when we talk there is allways something to talk about..is this a bad thing that we dont rly talk on the phone?
help i rate!! (link)
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It's only 8th grade, so just relax and take your time. If you really want to talk on the phone, try maybe one night a week. If you talk a lot at school, finding things to talk about on the phone shouldn't be hard.
Phone or no phone, right now it's not a big deal. Just take it easy and enjoy the great friendship you seem to have going within your relationship!
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my boyfriend asked me to makeout with him and i dont want to but i dont know the right way to tell him and he keeps asking me what should i say that woudlnt hurt him??? (link)
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Let your boyfriend know you aren't ready. Just tell him gently that you care about him and think he's great but you just aren't ready for that yet. If he can't handle it, as hard as it may be, go your separate ways. You need to be with someone who respects your boundaries.
A Caution: Be careful not to let him manipulate you. If he tries to tell you that if you really liked him you would show him in a physical way, the red flag is up. This guy isn't interested in you, he's interested in what you have to offer. Tell him he's the one who doesn't care about you and find yourself a boy with "a lil bit o' R-E-S-P-E-C-T" to quote Aretha Franklin.
Good luck!
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I really really like this guy, and he totally leads me on and he was all over me a few weeks go but he has a girlfriend but he totally flirts. it's so confusing. he always hints stuff out like he would like me but i hear so much i hear that he thinks im annoying cause i like him while he has a girlfriend but one of his bestfriends said its not true and he talks about me all the time and he likes me alot but see i dont know if that means that he likes me likes me or just likes me. and everytime he sees me in school he like talks to me or finds a way to say hi and he looks pretty much a lot..do you have any advice on how i can tell if he likes me or what i shoudld do..i am just so confused..help me, please
singed - confused (link)
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It seems like a big mess but I think it can be boiled down to one big principle: Don't be anybody's leftovers.
You say that he has a girlfriend and yet he still leads you on all the time? Tell him to take a hike. Yeah, this might seem harsh...but why do you want to be his backup girl? If he can't make up his mind about you, don't waste your time worrying about him. Let him know you're looking for someone who doesn't play mind games and is interested in you full-time.
I hope you can understand why this is really the bottom line. Respect yourself! You deserve someone who is all about you, girl. Tell this loser to get lost.
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Im 15 and this Girl that i like is 17, i will be 16 in june. she is a junior and i am a freshman, is their anything wrong with us being together? And how should i ask my parents what they think about this? (link)
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Age isn't as big of a factor as it can be made to be. In my opinion, the gap between you two is no big deal as long as you're compatible.
Remember a couple of things:
1) The reason younger guys with older girls is less common is because guys often mature slower. I'm not trying to make you feel like a loser, but be sure to evaluate how equal you both are in maturity. :-) It's a good idea for ANY relationship.
2) Her life will be changing drastically in the next couple years. She will be graduating high school, possibly going onto college or something else. Either way...it could be a problem. She will be on her own and you will still have a lot of high school left. It could make things hard, but it has definitely been done...so just assess whether you two are up to the challenge. Don't let this put a damper on things but be realistic and keep your heart unbroken if possible!
Lastly...TALK TO YOUR PARENTS! I am so glad you mentioned this, because they are there to help you out (even if it seems otherwise) and telling them is a good way to get some input on the situation. Don't try and make it a big deal, just tell them you're digging this girl and that she's a little older than you. Hopefully they will understand and have some advice or help for you too. It also is good to give them a heads-up. Parents hate being the last to know, and if they are, they will be more likely to react badly to the situation. You being upfront and wanting their consent and advice will show them that you're mature and responsible.
Good luck!
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Ok i like this girl and shes soo freekin fine..i want to ask her out but i dont have the balls to...cause i dont even think she likes me..i mean were friends and all but i think that if i do and she says no that, that could mess up our relationship...what should i do? (link)
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Well you either get some balls or you don't.
If you are too worried about ruining a friendship, don't do it. Things being awkward between you would be a natural outgrowth of a rejection, and you either take that risk or you don't. Also, keep in mind that if you do go out and then break up, you will lose a friend. It's a scary proposition but one that you have to think about.
If all that is worth it to you, then suck it up and do it. Ask her in a casual and non-threatening way to go out sometime. Tell her what you like about her (and come up with something better than "you're soo freaking fine, girl!" please!!) and that you want to date her. She says no, don't freak out. Just take it graciously and deal with your feelings later. Nobody likes saying no and she probably will feel bad about it too.
If she says yes, then consider yourself lucky!
One final word: girls like to be pursued. (in a nice, healthy, non-obsessive way) If you want to be with her bad enough, you have to have the confidence to ask her out. If you can't, you're wimping out to the possibility of rejection. Don't let that stop you. A confident guy is a sexy guy, and messing around because you're scared doesn't send her confident, "macho" vibes. Do it or don't.
Good luck!
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my boyfriend is really sweet and thoughtful of what he does. so before he kissed me, he asked if it would be ok. and i said it would. so now he wants to kiss me. but the only thing is...it's my first kiss and i don't know how. please help. it might sound kinda stupid but i need to know how. thanks in advance! (link)
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This is really exciting! Be glad you have such a sweet boyfriend and here are some basic guidelines to help you through that scary first kiss:
1) Relax. Remember that first kisses are hardly perfect and just let yourself ease into it. Enjoy the moment.
2) Make sure your teeth are brushed and you're not weary any lip gloss that is too gooey. Some chapstick or something is fine, just not lipstick or anything with pigment. He wants to kiss you, not get made up in the process!
3) Let him know you're ready and look for which way he is tilting his head. Go the opposite way to keep your noses from bumping.
4) Open your lips just the tiniest big and softly press them to his. Play around with the feeling of it: brush your lips together, try easing the very tip of your tongue into his mouth and see how he responds, and if you're really brave give his bottom lip a very very gentle nibble.
Kissing is something that is hard to begin the very first time but you'll find that you will very easily get the hang of it once your lips are actually touching. Just let the moment happen, remember not to droll on him (swallow ocassionally!!), and don't be too aggresive at first and see what happens!
A great site with tons of tips and other great kissing stuff is http://www.virtualkiss.com . Check it out!
Have fun smooching!
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i went out with my boyfriend for 9 months, and he was my 'first person', but things happend and we broke up :( . This was about 3.5 months ago, and he has a new girlfriend now. So i dicided to move on to and now i have this guy who i like and he likes me a lot too. But i have a problem because every time i'm with him i think about my ex! i can't do it :( ... it hurts inside to think of being with any1 else. THe problem is, my ex boyfriend doesnt want to talk to me, but somtimes i know that he misses me to, but doesnt want to be with me again. What do i do? I'm so lost :( please help, ill rate. (link)
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It's very hard to break up with someone after having sex with them (which is, I assume, what you're talking about.)
Pretty much only time and distance can heal a wound that big. Don;t try to get back together with him, and vent your thoughts and feelings in a journal, that sometimes helps.
Lastly, let this hurt be a caution to you for your sexual behavior in later relationships.
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Wat do i do to get a guy to notice me? Should i become friends with him or just try to be around him or something else? (link)
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Be his friend. Be interesting and confident and have plenty of interests that aren't him! Just strike up conversations about what he likes and dislikes and be yourself. It's a lot more simple than you think.
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what kind of things do you give guys on valentines day? Like really good things, or simple things are good to. I just need some ideas. i like to get my shopping done early so i wont have to woory about it later. but im completly lost on what i should get for him as a v-day present. Any Ideas? please help (link)
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Guys love creative gifts. Give him a mix cd with all his favorite bands, or a nice letter with 100 reasons why you like him. If you're stuck on something nice/expensive, try a video or computer game he wants, or a gift card to his favorite store.
Good luck and have fun on vday!
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okay so i like this guy and we hang out alot and when we do i always feel relaxed and feel confertable but when ever we hold hands or sumthin my hand always start to sweat! and i dont kno wut to do! its gross! i mean im embarrased to like hold hands with him now! wut can i do? (link)
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Haha...
Oh sweetie, everybody does that! Just make a joke out of it. Let go, wipe your hands and giggle. Make a crack about how he makes you nervous or something like that. Confidence and a good joke can make almost any situation instantly less mortifying!
Good luck!
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i'm in love with a guy whose a hindu and i'm a christian i love him a lot he love me to but his saying his parents won't allow what should i do?i'm 20 his 22 (link)
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Sometimes differences in religion are too great. It hurts, but maybe the only thing to do is move on.
I hope you don't have to resort to that, and good luck.
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ive been seeing this guy for about 2 months now and i think our relationship is just based on sexuality and looks... i mean when we first started our relationship we were like awesome friends and we loved to talk all the time and now i feel as if we never talk anymore and he isnt the person i once thougtht he was.. like we never talk anymore and i feel all we do is like make out... i try to read books and see if he is interested in what they have to say and sometimes they have poetry and i leave him sweet notes in his locker but we still like never talk anymore... help!
how do i tell him how to change without looking like im tryin to make him the person i want him to be? (link)
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Well, this is a perfect example of how realtionships corrode.
Physical stuff can really mess things up. Not that kissing or anything is bad, but sometimes it means you stop talking.
If you keep trying all the great things you are right now and he's not interested in it, you might need to break up and move on.
It might be hard, but you will definitely learn a thing or two about communication. You gotta keep talking...and make your boyfriend not just your boyfriend, but your best friend too.
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I'm 14-years-old so I'm not looking for my life partner or anything. Well, my friends and even some people I don't know call me shallow because I only go out with guys I think are hott. And it's true but only to a certain point. Yes, I do look at looks first but doesn't everyone? I look at looks and if I think they're attractive then I'll talk to them and such. But I'll only date them if they have a great personality to go along with their looks. Personality can also make a guy hott to me so even if I'd initially think they were ugly but they had a confident, amazing personality I'd think they were hott. And like I said before, it's not like I'm looking for they guy I want to marry right now; I'm just having fun and meeting different guys. Does the way I see that make me shallow? Or is the way I pick the guys I want to go out with wrong? (link)
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It's never wrong to be physically attracted to someone. It just happens. As long as you're interested in the total package (his personality, beliefs, intelligence, etc.) then you're all set.
Your friends may be turned off if you are constantly scoping guys and making comments about which ones are hott and which are not. If you do this a lot, that may be what is making them upset.
Otherwise, you're on the right track. Ignore anyone who tries to put you down!
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So I like this guy and Im almost 100% he's digging me back. But I need some kind of magic line to let him know it's all systems go so he can ask me out. Im old fashioned and not willing to ask a boy out so it's kind of up to him. How do I get it across that Im ready to take this friendship and turn it into something more? (link)
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If you are looking for a great, confident guy, you probably just have to wait it out. If he asks, then great. That shows that he knows there is a risk of rejection but is willing to take it because he is confident and likes you enough to take the risk.
If he doesn't ask, well...
This may seem harsh, but if he doesn't ask, you might not want to go out with him. I'm old fashioned too, and I am not interested in a guy who doesn't have the guts to take a risk and pop the question. Now, I'm not talking about a cruel game of hard-to-get, but if you give him all the signals and he's too chicken to respond; move on!
Hope you see the reasoning behind my theory and good luck!
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I am very new to this site and have only heard GREAT things about it. I have a very important question… I have never had a date on Valentine’s Day EVER!!! What can I do to make guys like me? I am very outgoing and intelligent. I am not the prettiest person in the world but definitely not the ugliest. If anyone can help, I would love to hear someone else’s opinion. Any help will do...Thanks!
▀▄▀▄bluentriste▄▀▄▀
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Confidence and completeness is the key.
What do I mean? Don't let your life revolve around having a guy in it! Learn to love yourself, develop your own interests and hobbies, and make lots of great friends. Be confident in your strengths and be complete as a person even without a guy in your life.
The funny thing about being confident and complete without a guy is that guys are so attracted to confidence. They love a girl who loves herself. After all, if you expect people not to like you because you don't...they won't.
You'll probably find that once you get to the point of being totally okay with just being you, all alone, a guy is really interested.
Funny how it works, huh?
Remember: confident and complete.
Good luck!
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I went out with this kid name Matt and About a month ago I dumped him. The kid is like obsessed with me he's alway just staring at me, at lunch, during classes, in the halls. If i walk across the room he watches me. He seriously watches like everything I do. I have a new boyfriend, named Jon, now and both him and i are really uncomfortable with him staring at me. Its so weird im like afraid to be myself sometimes. Like people come up to me and are like Matt is staring at you. It creeps me out and makes me so uncomfortable. Some of my friends have been telling him he needs to move on and get a new girlfriend and they've suggested hooking him up with people but he's obsessed. I dont like him that way at all. What should I do about it?!?!? (link)
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This could either be very serious, or it could just be a weird way of him dealing with the breakup.
Continue to ignore him if all he does is stare.
If he ever talks to you in a threatening way, calls you constantly, or threatens your friends or boyfriend, talk to a teacher, parent, or school counselor. They can help you make a plan to make him leave you alone.
Hopefully for your sake this is just a weird fluke and it doesn't end in a restraining order.
Hope this helps.
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I like this guy that goes to another school and he's older, but really cute and nice and everything else there is to be. I see him at church and if I smiled at him or something, would he get a hint or anything? I look at him a lot and sometimes he looks back but would it be better if I smiled? And sometimes to attract attention, my friends act dumb and stuff but would it be better to act normal and not mess up and stuff? Is there any other tips to flirting or anything else I should know besides all this other stuff? Thanks (link)
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It is absolutely better to act normal. Think about how all the stupid stunts and fake-hating guys do when they like girls. A little confusing, huh?
Treat him like you would someone you want to be friends with. Smile, maybe strike up a conversation or have a friend help you two start talking. Ask questions about what he likes, his family, stuff like that. A great ice breaker is to compliment something he is wearing/does well. Just remember he's a person just like you with feelings and insecurities and interests. Think about how you'd want to be talked to and remember that he's probably a little nervous too.
Good luck and remember...there are plenty of guys left if this one doesn't work out. :-)
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