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Hiya, my names Claire. I'm 16 and I live in England. I live with my dad, my older brother and my younger sister. I have a pretty complicated family situation, so although yours may not be the same, I can probably replate to something of the confusion and hurt people with broken families feel.I'm a Christian, and I guess that is reflected in most of my responses to questions. Compared to some people, I've had a pretty good 16 years of life so far, not huge amounts to complain about. But there have been times when I've really needed to rely on God to pull me through and he's never EVER failed me. I trust his promises completely, and I depend on Christ with all my heart
advice
Me and my boyfriend dated for a year and 9 months. We were very close but we broke up over a month ago because he says we need space. Now we arent going to date again (he said maybe next year.. but im not waiting that long) Yes i do love him, i love him alot. But its hard to love someone when they dont love you back and want to string you along til next year. Although me and his roommate and me have gotten pretty close, and now we sort of have a thing for eachother. His roommate doesnt know i have a thing for him i just told him we'd talk later this weekend when he told me that he really liked me. What should i do. this happans to be my x bf of almost 2 years roommate.. (they arent the best of friends either..)&& what do i say when me and his roommate talk about our liking towards eachother?
(ill rate five for a good answer)
Ok, so you seem pretty clear that you don't want to go out with your ex boyfriend again. Thats fair enough he wants you to just sit around waiting for him until he decides he wants you back. Thats not fair of him, it seems the best thing for you to do just to try and get over h im, you're too good for him. It might take time, but the sooner you're over him, the freer you'll feel.
So the issue with his roommate. Do you think it's going to get in the way of their friendship? Do you think it will be awkward because it's your ex's roomate? I don't really think any of this would be a problem. When you talk to this guy, be as honest as you can be with him, tell him how you feel, what you want to happen. If they're not the best of friends anyway, it shouldn't really affect their friendship. See how he feels about the whole thing...
Make sure you're feeling happy and confident in yourself before getting in to another relationship. When you've been with someone so long, its easy to feel kind of lost without a relationship, and a lot of people then jump in to new relationships very quickly without getting over the first. So take your time over everything, make sure you've moved on completely from your ex, you've given everything time to settle down, make sure this new guy doesn't think there'll be a problem with you being the ex of his roomate, and then go for it!
When you talk to him, just be honest, be you, and everything should work out ok!
Let me know if I completely missed the point of that, and I'll see what I can do! God bless xxx
hi my name is lolo im 16 and i just needed a little bit of advice concerning me and my boyfriend, well we have just started gon out a few days before christmas and no the excitment seems like it has died down extremely too low, and it seems as if everything i say to him he fusses back with me like i said something wrong and all i do is share my feelings with him truthfully and he talks to me like he doesnt believe me, and it feels like, why even talk to him if he doesnt believe a word i say, and he argues with ever single thing, and i really love him alot bt i want him tothink about things b-4 he critizes. what should i do? signed lolo3847
It seems like you're trying to talk to him open and honestly, but he just isn't listening to you.
You need to think about what you deserve from a boyfriend. You deserve someone who's going to listen to you, believe what you're saying and respect your views. It's really important that you understand what you deserve from a boyfriend, don't let anyone push you around.
At the same time, make sure you're taking the time to listen to what he's saying. It may seem annoying and frustrating that he's arguing with you all the time, but listen to see if he has a valid point and take it on board if he does.
So I think you have two options.
If the two of you are going to stay together, he needs to understand how you're feeling. Write him a long letter, explain everything, what you want to say to him, ow it feels when he critises you, why you don't like him arguing with everything you say. Tell him you love him but let him know how you feel because if he really loves you, he'll listen and do smoething about it.
However, if the excitement is gone, and you're not happy in a relationship, get out of it. When we're only 16, you can't expect relationships to last forever, and if it's not working ,dont stay together for the sake of it, get out before you get hurt. You deserve to be happy.
Good luck, and God bless xxx
so im 14 and i met this guy that makes my heart melt. weve only see each other in person once at a party. but we have been talking and he invites me to ahngout with his friends. but my parents dont know his friends and i dont know his friends so i know for a fact my parents wont let me go. so i ahve been saying im sick. or i have other things to do. i dont want to tell him that but i feel embaressed when i have to say oh well my parents dont trust my judgement enough to make the right friends. no besides the fact his friends arent the perfect crowd i would never get under hte influnce of perpressuer. i am very responsiable. but my parents dont see that. they see me as some slut. so its aggervateing but. i just told him all of this and he seemed totaly cool i guess with meeting my mom but now i feel if he thinks im so child. we are the same age and in the same grade. but still do you think he would possible think less of me or think im some kind of child?
He sounds like a great guy!
Think about it...
--He met you at a party once, now he wants to get to know you better.
--He's asked to meet up with you, even though you made excuses.
--He wants you to meet him friends, and show them how cool you are!
--You told all the stuff about your parents, and he's still keen!
I don't think he thinks any less of you at all.
To make this work, talk to your mum. Explain how much you like this guy, that you think he really is a decent guy, that you know you're responsible enough to make sensible decisions and not be influenced by peer pressure. Have a calm, mature discussion with her, and see where that leaves you.
As for him, let him know exactly whats going on. If you can introduce him to your mum, even better. Don't do anything behind your parents backs, that will make them trust you a lot less in the future. Just keep the communication going, parents feel a lot happier if they feel informed and know whats going on! Good luck xxxx
ok so im a little young i guess to know wat i am. But i do i think, eneyways i think im well bi and theres this girl shes my best friend and i love and i dont mean that in a friendly way i mean it in a serious way so i dont know if im bi or if i only have a girl crush err love. But thetres this other girl shes bi shes one grade higher than me and i think she likes me i know for a fact well i think my best friend who im in love with is straight but i dont know. So enyways the girl in the higher grade shes hott and i think i may like her ugh this is so confusing for me i hate it so what should i do? err what am? i mean i reaally love my best friend shes hott,beautiful,funny,and smar shes my everything but alex i kinda like shes different and shes pretty and umm hott err what ever so could some one please please help me out here!!!
Ok, well for a start you say you're a little young. And you recognise that at your age its hard to guess what orientation you are. So don't put any labels on yourself yet! You may be bi, you may be straight, you'll have to wait and see, but in the mean time, don't pressure yourself to feel a certain way about anything by labelling yourself. Just accept the current situation and think about dealing with that, rather than whether or not you're bi.
As for the situation with your friend, well especially if you are young, you could well freak her out by letting her know ow you feel. However, if you are really close friends and you feel like you could talk to her about this sort of thing, then try this:
Don't tell her specifically how you feel about her at first, just have a general chat about liking guys, liking girls, see if she has any strong views on the subject. If, for instance, she said that she thinks its really weird to be bi, and that she's defiantely straight, then well, don't tell her that you're in love with her!
If she seems quite open about it, and you feel its appropriate, maybe you could you Alex as an example? Say that you think she likes you or something... yeah just try and chat to your friend about it. From that conversation, you can probably work out whether she is defaintely straight, or a bit flexible...
She's your best friend. Don't push anything. There's no way you want to lose a friendship over what could be a passing crush. If anything's going to develop, it will, but in time. There's no rush. Don't scare her off, just enjoy being her best friend.
As for the other girl, I think you said she was called Alex, well thats up to you really.
If you want anything to happen with her, get to know her properly, just as you would in any relationship, and take things slow. But don't take your chances with her just because she's a girl and its exciting that a girl likes you!
Good luck! xxx
16/f
okay well me and my bf have been going out for 8 months and day before yesterday i spent the night with my friend but he thought i was going to cheat on him or lie to him about something well, later on that nite i told my bf that i was gonna get ymy phone charger from him then go back to her house well instead me and my friends went to a party. my bf found out this was around 2 in the morning well my bf found out but played it off like he had no idea but there was a couple guys there that knew him and called him but after the party i went over to his house and spent the nite over there and talked well we're still together but he is still a little wierd around and i understand he cant trust me anymore but someone help how should i get things to the way they were before.. i rate high!!
If he doesn't trust you because you lied to him... well you gotta earn his trust back. Talking is always the best way, be upfront about everything that happened, explain the whole situation to him, why you did whatever, apologise for anything you did wrong, and then leave it... try and be the best girlfriend to him you can, make it up to him. And be completely trustworthy in everything, so that he won't have any ammunition to trhow at you from now on... as in, if he asks you something be completely honest, so you can earn his trust again. And let him know you love him completely :)
Alright...Im a 15/f
I have a boyfriend of almost 4 months now. and known eachother since 7th grade.
I love him....
i just dont know if i like him.
When i talk to him....Sometimes i get pissed off and he hasnt really even done anything im just sick of talking to him. and then theres times where he deserves me to be mad at him and i just cant be.
I have no idea what to do!!!
Break up or not?
Break up with him. There's no point in staying together if you're losing the feelings you had for him. Don't feel bad about it, this is what happens in relationships, especially as a teenager. Just explain to him that you don't feel the same as you used to, and move on, don't get stuck in a relationship thats annoying you. It's not fair on him either. xxxxx
okay ive been goin out with this guy for around a week or two now and i really like him.... i told him that i hadnt snogged anyone yet and he said that was fine and that we could take it slowly now snogging isnt really that big of a deal and i really want to.... but everytime i go to my nerves get the better of me and i chicken out and i really dont no what to do i told him this and he said it was fine but i really want to. How do i get over my nerves and just go for it im more scared of doing something wrong but now its stopping me from going places with him incase i have to...its really stupid and i really like him so if anyones got any ideas please help lol
thanks
When you've never done it before it seems like a really scary thing... you've gotta make yourself comfortable with the idea. It sounds like you can talk to him about it without being embarrassed and he soundsd really nice and understanding, which is great.
So tell him that it would make you less scared if he just kissed you on the lips first, so its not a full on snog. Get used to being that close to him physically, and then it will feel a lot easier and more natural to go for it, when you're ready. And just remember you won't do it wrong! If you really like him, and he really likes you, then you're good, it won't go wrong!
I'm 16/f and I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world and i know he loves me that much too. When we are together we have such an awesome time and I can really see how much he is in love with me. The problem is that he is always so busy, he works a lot and does lots of work on boats around our harbour and owns two boats of his own which he also has to maintain. Apart from that he's always helping out in his family and other people but it just sometimes seems like he doesn't have time for me. He tells me he would much rather be with me than be working. Not only working but he also is busy with other things too. For example this week I've seen him twice for about 2 hours each time and he had to go out after that. I go over to visit him but he's never there and is always busy. We really get annoyed that we don't get much time together and sometimes I just don't feel loved. Like right now, this morning, even though he told me last night he loved me I know he does but sometimes I just feel like he doesn't. Even though I KNOW he does. Please help, what do I do?!
Thankyou
Yeah I think you should talk to him. Tell him that you appreciate he's busy and has a life of his own, but as your boyfriend, he's made a commitment to you, and needs to give you some priority in his life. Talk it through togeother and work out some good times when you want to see each other and maybe it'll involve both of you making little sacrifices, but he needs to decide how important your relationship is to him. If you're feeling unloved even though he tells you, the relationship won't survive long, talk to him!
ok everyone is saying that damius my boyfriend likes my bff rayquisha and i dont no wut to do stay with him or break up with him please please please help thanx
-confused
Ask him straight. It's unfair on him to break up with him just because everybody else said it and you never checked with him. If you ask him to his face, without sounding angry, just ask him to be honest, and the chances are he will. If you don't think he would tell you, then at least you'd have the chance to try and tell if he's lying.
So, investigate it, but don't take action till you've talked to him about it.
well me and this boy were getting pretty close and i let him kiss me like with tongue. And so one of his friends told him i have a boyfriend and i dont but he wont tlk to me wat do i do
Just tell him it's not true, that his friend must be jealous and you're not the sort of person who cheats on boyfriends, you wouldn't do that. If you are sincere and honest about it, whether its by letter, text, email, note, whatever, then he should believe you and if he doesn't, it's his problem, leave him to it.
OK this is the hardest thing i have ever been through.. :( and i have never felt this way about someone before..we have been through so much and shared so many good memories..well the story goes like this...
A girl comes out of nowhere and starts flirting with my bf of 9 months on myspace. They wind up hanging out at a football game with friends and he tells me he has some feelings for her. This was heartbreaking. However..i wanted to work it out with him so when he suggested 'open relationship' as in he dates her(not go out) and maybe kisses/hugs her and i agreed to this and to still be with him. I decided it wasnt fair to me..because we had 9 months..i dont desserve this and it hurts..so i break up with him..He says he loves me and sees a future with me as in marriage..that it wont get serious with the new girl but how am i supposed to know? (i mean he might go out with her he says..what do i do then?)They are hanging out more..they call each other..shes driving me nuts with her shoutouts to him and comments..and hes putting her shoutout in his info..its just too much and it breaks my heart. I dont know what to do..isolate myself from him..like not talk to him or hang out or anything so he makes a choice? (like if hes away from me maybe he will miss me..or maybe he will decide he wants her) Or do i be his friend? do i kiss him still and cuddle? i really want to..but this is very hard for me. Hes a sweetheart though. he told me everything..he was honest about her..and we made an agreement that he tells me everything and he has. they were talking together by the lake..they might go to the movies tomorro..i flip flop back and forth though..be his friend and hang out/talk/cuddle/kiss him...but sometimes i feel so sad and hurt i feel like i should back away completely. what do i do? is this worth the wait?
To tell you the truth, you deserve better than this. You're right, if you just give him the affection he wants while he's getting the same from her, he'll be happy and you won't. He says he can see a future with you, he says he wants to marry you, yet still he wants to be able to go out with this other girl and kiss her? That's not on. You deserve a guy who will give you his full attention, a guy who has eyes only for you. A guy who wouldn't even consider being with another girl because he loves being with you so much. And he needs to realise very quickly that he can't treat girls this way. A commitment is a commitment. If he's been with you 9 months and wants to be with you forever, then its you and no-one else. If he wants to flirt with another girl and whatever, he can't have you. because as much as it hurts you now, and I know it really really does, I've been there, you can't let him stamp on your heart like this.
So, in my opnion, you need to tell him straight how you feel. Tell him what its doing to you to watch this. tell him that either he needs to make a commitment to you, be with you and you only, or be with her. Tell him that a guy who loves a girl and wants a future with her can't have another girl on the side. Imagine if you were married, would he think it was ok to see another woman like that? For instance, to take his secretary to the movies and kiss and cuddle her? Thats not how relationships work! If you guys do have a future together, he'll make that choice, he'll put you first, he'll leave her alone. If not, there's no way he's mature enoguh for a committed relationship, and, tough and painful as it is, you need to let go and move on.
Let me know what you do in the end, drop me a line if you need anything else. xxxxxx
I like this guy at school who dosen't really know me. How should I get his attention? What should I say to him that won't sound like I'm going out of my way to talk to him?
It's ok to sound like you're going out of your way to talk to him, thats how people get to know each other! Ask him what he's up to at the weekend, if he watched a programme on TV last night, what sports teams he likes, anything like that, and if you find out he's interested in something you don't know much about, ask him about it. If you find you have something in common, chat about that.
When would the appropriate time to let your boyfriend finger you? I'm ready but we've only dated for 1 month would that be pushing things to fast in our relationship? Thanks in advance!
Depends how old you are, how serious the relationship is, how comfortable you feel with sexual activity. Personally, I would wait quite a while, but it may be different for you or him. I'd say don't do anything until you can talk about it. When you feel comfortable enough with your boyfriend to talk to him about it and how fast your relationship is going, then have a chat and decide for yourselves how fast you want it to go. Just don't let him push you into anything you'll regret, decide what you want and stick to it.
I have a date on Sunday with this guy I met from myspace. He's real I promise. Anyway, what should we do?? any suggestions??? I'm picking him up by the way and bringing him back to my town. we're both 18.
How easy do you guys find it to chat? If you get along really well and think it won't be awkward, something like bowling would be good, but if you think you won't have much to talk abot until you're more relaxed with each other, see a movie then you can talk about that afterwards, maybe get something to eat. Hope it goes well!
He said that me liked me and we went 2 the movies a few times. Over the summer, I couldn't wait to see him again! Now, he ignores me and acts like he hates me so much! I sent him 3 notes asking for him to email me so I could ask a few questions. He hasn't done so, and I'm starting to get super duper mad!!!!! How do I get him back or figure out if he's pretending to hate me to be cool?
I don't think theres any subtle way to do it really. You just gotta ask him to his face so he can't run away or ignore you. Say something like "So we went to the movies, you said you liked me. What now? If you don't like me anymore, at least have the decency to tell me. And if you do, it would be nice if you started showing it."
Don't beg, or let him have all the control or anything. Just ask him straight, take control of the situtaion yourself. You deserve to know where you stand.
Good luck, ask me if you need any further advice!
I was just wondering what do you think would be an appropriate age to start dating?
'Dating' changes a lot with age and maturity.
For instance, when you're about 12, some people start hanging out more with guy, maybe to start off with in a group but then pairing off a bit more, but nothing serious, and as you get older, it becomes more about individual relationships rather than groups of friends, and older still, more serious relationships. So whatever you're view of dating is at the moment, go with whatever you and the guy you like are ready for. There's not set age because you change so much at different ages, just make sure you're comfortable with everything, that you're not doing anything in secret from your friends or parents, and make sure you have support from them too. Have fun, God bless!
this guy really likes me and hes asked me out about 7 times. i dont really know what to do cause he reallt likes me but i dont think i like him. :/ wat should i do to tell him? plz anwser QUICK cause he just asked me out AGAIN!!!
Be gentle with the poor guys feelings! I'm sure you would be anyway, but just to mention that! Anyways, here's a few good ones:
"I don't feel ready for that kind of relationship yet."
"You're such a good friend to me, I wouldn't want to risk losing that."
"I really like you, but I just can't see you in that way..."
"I think there's someone better for you out there than me."
Cheesy usually works ;)
Good luck, God bless.
Ok, this could be a little long, so I'm going to apologize for that right away.
Anyways, I was going out with this guy, let's call him C, for almost 2 months. Then I started thinking that I only liked him as a friend && I didn't want to keep going out with him && hurt him later, so I broke up with him.
About 2 weeks after I broke up with C, I found out my friend, M, was going out with him because he asked her out. When I found out, I seriously broke down && cried because him going out with another girl made me realize I still really did like him.
It's summer, so I'm doing OK since I don't have to see him, but when school starts I'm afraid I'll cry when I see him.
I still really love him && whenever I talk to M, she's my friend you know, she always talks about him and it literally breaks my heart. My friend, E, asked C once if he'd ever go back out with me but he never answered. My friend M, the one he's going out with, bounces from guy to guy all the time, but I'm just afraid she won't this time && I'll live with a broken heart.
I really need advice just on what to do.
I've been in this exactly situation a few times. And I always seem to do the wrong thing. So I can tell you how /not/ to solve it, and maybe you can learn from my mistakes.
Ok, first time, I'd been going out with the guy for 2 months, then I broke up with him, because I thought I didn't wanna be with him anymore. Within a week or two, he was going out with my best mate. I felt just like you do now, and I told them, and in the end, my friend broke up with him because she could see how much it was hurting me. However, the guy didn't want to be with me because he'd completely fallen for my mate, and they never really got over each other. It damaged his future relationships, including one where he was with another close friend of mine (I was over him by then) and I felt bad because it was because of me that they weren't together in the first place. Then ended up going out again, almost a year later, and it still hurt me for some reason, even then.
The second time, the guy wasn't over me, and I ended up going out with him, breaking up with him, going out with him, breaking up with him etc... everoyne got very hurt.
So... I'd say take your time to think about it. You're hurting right now, and it seems the easiest way to stop that pain is to go back to him, because then things are the way they were before you were hurting. But give yourself time to recover, and then think about it again? Remember how you felt when you were breaking up with him, what made you only see him as a friend. Only think about trying to get back with him, when you know for sure that that's what you want, otherwise you'll both get hurt. In the mean time, maybe you could mention to your friend (depending on how close you are) tat you're not fully over him yet, and it would be helpful if she didn't go on about him in front of you.
Good luck, God bless.
yeah so this is it from the begining the names are changed tho! okay i started to go out with this boy josh ithought everything was great.i would call just to here his voice.he also went out with my close friend jessi. jessi like the thought of us together.almost a week later she had told me that he was going out with a girl name sara i told her no he just forgets my name sometimes thats all. then a week later i brought it up and he said ooh i didnt think we were to serious and hes the one who ask me out!! one of my other friends introduced us on aim.i felt hurt about it but i ignored it.then he broke up with sara and a day later dumped me he said i wanna date you some other time i was shocked.He would talk about us being sexual i liked it but i didnt want to get hurt.2 weeks later he went out with sara again. again the relationship ended.now i still have feelings for him what should i do?
The guy is a loser.
You deserve someone who has eyes for you, and you only. Someone who you click with straight away, that you are completely comfortable with, that you know won't hurt you.
Leave this guy alone, he needs to sort himself out. In the mean time, go have fun with your mates =) They'll always be there for you, and you'll have a way better time just hanging out with them rather than stressing over Josh.
You'll find someone right for you soon enough, and wonder what you ever saw in Josh!
God bless xxx
ok my parents r desperately waiting for me to get a girlfriend and always push me to do so. at this momment i just want to be single yet on the other hand i would like someone by my side and would like to be going out. im not sure what to do or how to do it. what should i do?
Wow, this is unusual. It's often the parents who don't want their teenager to date, and the kid who wants to. Anyway, don't rush anything until you know you want to. If you get in to anything just because someone else wants you, people get hurt. Whether its your parents pressuring you to get a girlfriend or your mates pressuring you smoke or do drugs, or a girl pressuring you to have sex with her, the answer always has to be no. Take life at your own pace. Do things only when you know you'r ready and want to. No-one else can make that decision for you. And not only will you get yourself hurt, but you'll probably end up hurting someone else if you date them just because your parents want you to.
If you're happy being single, that's fantastic. You have something which a lot of people don't, and that is that ability to be happy without a girlfriend or boyfriend. And you'll know when you're ready for that to happen.
God bless, Keep smiling!