I'm a 17 year old girl who has had her share of problems. So I'll do my best to answer questions and you can leave a question anytime in my inbox. :)
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Member Since: October 31, 2010
Answers: 211
Last Update: January 5, 2012
Visitors: 10142
Main Categories:
Love Life
Work/School Relationships
Friendship
View All
Favorite Columnists
bewise
|
| |
|
I've been talking to this guy but lately he's put me on the burner saying he doesn't want to cheat on his girl. But there are times where he acts interested all over again, and there are times where he won't text or barely flirt with me. Is he just lying to himself or is he really over it? (link)
|
So I think he's interested but doesn't want to cheat on his girlfriend. You wouldn't want a guy who'd cheat on his girlfriend anyways.
At this point, he's confused and giving you mixed signals so I wouldn't try to go anywhere with him unless their relationship is over.
|
I am head over heels in luv with a boy in my class Problem. I want to have sex with him SOOOOOOOO bad , and he kisses me and dry humps me and luv it but I wanna go ALL the with him, but we are both 11 what should I do?
(link)
|
Having sex at 11 is really not good. So many problems can happen that you are not ready for. You could get pregnant, you'd need to get on birth control and I doubt your parents will be ok with that, you could get STDs, then you'll have your emotional weight to carry.
It is tough having sex when you're an older teenager and an adult with all the emotional baggage. There is no way an 11 year old could handle it.
You shouldn't even be dry humping..you're only 11.
Just try to control yourself and not have sex till you are older.
|
|
Theres this guy ive been talking to for a while now, and we sweet talk, he even tried to hold my hand a few times, but i just found out that he talks to his ex (he was with her for 2 years) and like gets jealous over her still ,and still argues with her.. and even when he was talking to me and he said he had to go cause of his mom, he was actually talking to her arguing about these guys she flirts with, they can never be together though, because of some particular reasons.. but i dont know like, hell want me to call him before i sleep, text him when i wake up, hes always so sweet to me and always calls me alot, and when i told him were like brother and sister he got annoyed and told me to never say that again and that were not at all, and were more than that, but he didnt say what we were.. now i dont know, should i hold on to him because he has every right to still be inlove and jealous over his ex and just give it some time?cause maybe he likes me but is still hung up on his ex and i should be understand? or should i just cut contact or distance myself from him because i dont want to gain feelings for him , when hes probably just going to hurt me? i really do need help, any answer would be appreciated .. thanks alot =) (link)
|
That's tough because you don't know whether he'll get over her or not.
So if I were you, I wouldn't be extremely close to him. Maybe someday he'll get over her and then he can actually be with you. If he can't, then you can move on and find someone else you can like you and only you.
For now, just try to be friends with him and don't try to take all the sweet stuff in, because you could end up hurt.
So just watch yourself and choose what you think is best.
|
|
Ok so I am 15/f and I have like this boy off and on for three years now. from 7th 8th and 9th grade. Well me and this boy have the same last name. Weddington. Well apparently at the beginnign of 7th he liked me, and i didnt like him and then when i started to like him, he had a girlfriend. Well 7th grade being immature and not caring what i did around him, I would constantly be like brrotther brother brother and tell everyone he was my brother. (because of our last name) and even added him as my brother on facebook. Well he gave me weird looks sometimes and would be like stalker, and crap and he would never ever even if i asked him to call me sister he wouldnt. We still talked tho. My mom even thinks he is the cutest boy at my school! Well now in 9th my grade, at the beggining of the year he gave me a little attention, then stopped for a while. Now though about two and a half weeks ago we had our Christmas dance. It went horribele for me and I was leaving and he came up to me out of the blue and said bye sister!, my heart jumped and I about fainted! after i got home, I told my mom and she was like yay. Then that next day i got in my trig class and he came up to me and said hey sissy and i said hey bubba. I got all happy again! then we had p.e. that day together and he came over and talked to me called me sister again and then this boy slapped me and he yelled at him and said DONT HURT MY SISTER! and I was like oh my gosh. eek haha. then we where both on the side lines (we where playing basketball) and he came and sat by me and we talked for a while, and I was like yay he sat by me!, He is a basketball player, and football player so he is good at sports so he did good in the game so I gave him a high five. Then we just got back from a three day break due to teacher confrences, and now he sits behind me in one of my new classes and he always calls me sister, and everytime he walks past my desks he taps it, and then had to change between three partners in my class and he chose me as one of his partners, and I freaked out! then today he of course called me sister and stuff and then when I was at my locker today packing up to go home, he came up to my locker and told me bye! So I was just wondering do you think he likes me??? because I really like him! but do you think he does from what i've wrote? thanks(: (link)
|
He sounds like he could like you. He either wants to be friends with you or he likes you a little bit more than a friend. I'd keep it how it is right now and take your friendship slowly. He sounds like he'd be a good guy to keep as a friend in case things don't work out between you two.
Obviously, he doesn't hate you or anything so keep being his friend and see where it goes from there.
|
|
Hello Im 13 years old and so is my boyfriend. We have been dating since March 2011 and its now January 2012. He is pretty shy around me and Im sometimes like that. Everyone asks me if we say I Love You and I have to say no because he has yet to say it. Would it be weird if i told him? And how should I? Ans so far he has hugged me. Thats it. No holding hands. And obviously no kiss. How do I hint him i want to go farther (link)
|
Don't tell him I love you unless you really mean it. I've told enough guys I loved them when I only realized I liked them a lot. The only reason I'd tell them I love them was because other people would keep asking or I'd feel pressured because they say it.
So until you are sure, don't say it.
Since you guys have been together for awhile, you could probably try hinting at him that you want to hold his hand. Maybe brushing yours along his or while you guys sit next to each other mess with his hands or something.
You both are shy but eventually you guys will become comfortable around each other.
|
I started dating this guy for a month and a half, things were going great the first month..
recently i met his friend Jason, who suppousivly had been his friend for six yeas and just stated talking to him again. I only talked to him a few mins bc my boyfriend spent time with me, wanted to spend time with his friend afterwards. Im cool with that just.. I think his friend might be gay.. Im not sure but just by the way he sounds, dresses really nice like.. in a colorful way.. but anyway, He hung out with him that night, the next night on new years, and when I thought I was maybe going to see him today, he said he'll ask his dad. that was at three, its now seven. I dont think Its going to happen.. so spending time with his friend is cool, but hes not texting me much when hes with him at all. And his friend seems gay.. But i might be wrong. They were talking about his friends ex but. maybe hes bi? maybe hes straight. idk, just spending a lot of time with him. and hasent texted me.. Girls what would you think if it was your guy.. or guys am I just being paranoid? Another weird thing is my bf has talked about this kid alot. said his name in a funny way. not if its important, kinda weird though :/ (link)
|
Well I wouldn't be worried about that whole being gay thing. Although who really knows?
My advice would just be to talk to him. Don't go off accusing him of being gay or bi or anything. Just try to get around the subject of trying to spend more time together. And don't sound like you're nagging him or trying to take him from his friends. I know you mean well but you don't want him to take it the wrong way. So just talk to him and see how it goes.
|
|
There is a guy in school that I like and he used to like me but when he asked me to go to this thing with him I couldn't because I had other plans now I'm nervous that he wont like me anymore, what do I do? (link)
|
Well if he was interested before, he might still feel the same now. Although if he doesn't like you anymore because you couldn't go to some thing with him, he probably wasn't worth it anyways.
Try talking to him and see if he wants to hang out with you some time. If he says yes, then he's still interested in you.
If he shows he's not interested anymore, then find someone else. You don't have to waste your time around for a guy who loses interest quickly.
|
This girl I like told me that shes not interested in me, and she has done this several times. But she keeps acting like she does and says things all the time that make me think she does.
She says she loves me but shes not in love" with me. She told me that for my birthday coming up "I got you something special that your average female friend wouldn't get you if you know what I mean." and when we were talking on the phone I overheard her sister saying "you really have an obsession with him (my name) dont you?"
Then last night we stayed up talking and I told her I was upset, and she asked what I was upset about, and I said "nevermind it doesnt matter anyway" and she responded with "you do this to yourself."
I dont understand. She flirts with me all the time and says she always wants to spend time with me but in the end she says shes not interested in me. Why would someone do all that if they didnt like you? Its been like this for years. (link)
| |
Yeah it sounds like she's teasing you. I think she just like the attention she gets from you. I just think you should move on and find someone who won't mess with your mind. Good luck!
|
|
I just started to talk to this guy and he keep's going me hints that he likes me but i don't like him, how do i tell him i don't like him but i would like to stay friends...what should i do? (link)
|
Well you can straight up tell him you don't like him like that. That's an easy way to get him to stop throwing hints at you.
Or you can talk about some other guy you're interested in. You could be like, "Yeah I'm gonna go see this guy I'm interested in soon, ect"
Then he'll see you're not into him that way.
|
so my boyfriend and me have been going out for 5 months now. and we never fight its great. cause were both really chill :) .... but .... :( **iam 16 years old btw. (female)
(now i kknow this is going to sound bad please dont judge it just happen.... i feel aweful and i regret it but please dont judge with what i am about to say.)
--> so i really do love and care for him and he tells me he feels the same way. but his personality is always humor not to serious just likes to joke and have fun which i dont mind i find it amusing :p and im kinda the same so it works great. but last night i was sleeping over at his friends house with him and we were all in his friends bed. (me, my boyfriend and his friend) and were all pretty close haha but jokingly to piss off / amuse his friend as a joke me and my boyfriend started having sex. in the bed. and his friend lying right there (dont judge i know it sounds bad) but to be honest i only do this stuff cause he tells me to and i just wanna make him happy. i will admit im kinda whipped. but anyways so then as a joke he told his friend to join in. and hes always joked about 3 some. / sharing me (jokingly) and we had something like this happen before but not that bad just kiss. (same guy) as a dare. with him there. and so anyways he kept telling me to. and they both kept telling me to and to be honest i felt really pressured. and so i gave in. at first it was like jokingly i let him fuck me. :( with my boyfriend right there in the bed. and i just did it cause i felt pressured to by them. and my boyfriend just laughed at first and made little comments. then lied there and \"slept\" per say but i know he was awake but i dont know why i let his friend keep going. i honestly just didnt know what to say i wanted it to stop but i didnt have the guts to stop him. i was frozzeen. i didnt enjoy his friend at all i just wanted to be with my boyfriend. :( anyways i think this time it made him mad. cause he left the room. got up and walked out. and i was left there with his friend . and his friends like i think he cares this time... im like well then why did he tell me to? :( ugh!!! anyways i got up and left to and went to the couch away from them both and just cried all night. think im stupid and just fucked up how could i let this happen. now hes mad :/ which isnt what i wanted i really love and care for him i just wanted to make him happy. not mad. i did what he said i went along with his joke. and anyways his friend told me this ....
\"yeah he never admits to liking you and or any of his girlfriends and he wont ever admit it to us cause he just is hiding his emotions but i can tell as his bestfriend he really does care and like you cause of what he got you for christmas and the fact that what we just did effected him (it apparently never effected him in the past) but he must really like you cause he never spends money on his girlfriends and in the past hes onlydated a girl about a month or two and they fight all the time and we have been together 5 (almost 6) months and no fighting. and the fact he is moody and u effect his moods shows he cares.
(but the next morning he just walked by and left the house. he didnt say goodbye or anything to me....)
so basically im just asking. was last nights incident proof that he cares about me cause it effected him to see me with another guy? cause it never used to effect him apparently when he had a 3some in the past. and is what his friend saying true? or did i just fuck up and loose a guy i really care about :( i dont know what to do. or should i dump him cause he is treating me like a trophy and has no respect for me? :/ :( like i dont know what to think anymore. i do not want to loose him though cause all our friends are the same. i just dont know if im being treated like a trophy and used. or if he really cares and hes just starting to show it. please help :( sorry for it being so long :/ (link)
|
Well, you don't want to be in a relationship where someone is pressuring you at all. You know that. And you know you feel pressured.
No guy is worth the kind of pain you're going through.
I believe that you love this guy. Sometimes we fall for the wrong guys but you should get out of this relationship. You should get over him.
He's the one who told you to have sex with his friend, he can't go around and get all moody about it.
For one thing, you already know you shouldn't be having sex with his friend but you were pressured and you can't take it back.
And what kind of boyfriend walks out without saying goodbye? He's mad but it's his own fault.
Then his friend said he doesn't even admit to liking you. He's just that type of guy. You don't need that.
Trust me, there are better guys than him. You made a mistake and you have to move on.
I hope it all works out for you. You can do better.
|
|
ok so... a guy really likes me. he never said anything but i can just tell cuz he keeps wanting to talk to me online and he's being really clingy. honestly i'm not that into him. now i've got rehearsals of a guitar show and he's going to be there but a guy i really like will also be there. i was hoping i can finally talk to this guy but what should i do so he wouldn't interfere and ruin my chance? i can tell him to stop liking me cuz he probably doesn't even know that i know. any ideas please? (link)
| |
Ok I don't think you're leading him on like the other person said. But I think you should talk to him. You don't have to say like, "stop liking me" but you could probably just tell him something like you need some space and you kinda want to go to talk to a guy you're interested in or something. He'll probably back off a bit knowing you're interested in someone else. Good luck!
|
|
Okay, so. I promised my bf I'd send him some of my private stuff. I only promised because he sort of forced me into promising but then I said it was no big deal. So I told him I would send it to him by the end of the day. But it turns out that things went wrong that day and I ran out of time to send it to him. I was gonna text him a sorry but then he called me a bitch for not sending it. How should I react!? (link)
| |
You definitely are not. He's acting more like one. Forcing you to send private stuff? He's being controlling. Then he calls you that crap. He's a horrible boyfriend. No girl needs a guy like that..
|
|
there's this one guy that i like but he just happens to be a jerk to everyone, including my friends. i have liked him for years and he's said to other people that he only sees me as a friend. i always think that i am over him but later on i realize that i'm not. i feel really pathetic about wanting someone who doesn't want me in the same way but i can't help myself. there is something about him that i can't help but like. i almost want to tell him how i feel just so i can have him say to myself 'i don't like you that way.' i can't go to my friends because they might feel annoyed and plus they recently got mad at him and i'd feel like i'd be betraying them by liking someone that pissed them off. what should i do about this? i'm tired of being so confused :/ (link)
|
I totally know what you mean. It took me forever to get over this guy that messed with my head.
You should just focus on yourself or other things. It's really hard to get over someone most of the time. It will take awhile, but just try to focus your energy and everything else on other things that aren't boys..or at least not that boy.
Good luck!
|
|
I just started dating this guy like a week and a half ago, and his birthday is right around Christmas. We've been friends since the start of the school year, but I don't know if I'm supposed to get him a present...? We are only 14, and not very serious yet. Any advice? Do I need to get him something, and if so, what are some ideas? Thanks. (link)
|
You should get him something. Not too much but something to show you care. I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
Maybe get him a card and something you know he likes. Sports stuff, t shirt, hat, or anything close to that.
If you really can't find anything. A gift card is always nice with some candy.
|
|
Hi, I'm 14 and recently started dating one of my really good male friends. I really like him, and want to stay with him for a while. But I have had a crush on another guy who I've talked to like four times the whole year, and it didn't subside when this guy asked me out...but I had a crush on him too. What I'm saying is, is it ok for me to have a crush on someone else while I'm dating someone I like as well, as long as I don't make a move on this crush? I barely talk to this crush and there is no action between us, but I can't help liking him as well as my boyfriend. Is this okay? (link)
|
Ok in my opinion, I think it's fine. Only as long as it doesn't interfere with your relationship with your current boyfriend. Like as long as you don't spend a lot of time with the other guy, or try to get with him or hook up with him or anything it should be ok because maybe those feelings will go away. You also wouldn't want to lose your boyfriend just because you have a petty crush on some other boy you barely talk to right?
If this guy is always on your mind when you're with your boyfriend, then you have a problem but if not, you should be fine.
|
|
Okay well let me start off to say im 16 years old and I haven't had a boyfriend in two years after I broke up with a guy after a year relationship. The guy he was and usually what I go after is I guess like a jock you can say, but they always end up being a asshole. However, that's the kind of guys my dad like to see me with too. One whose out going, athletic, and all of that kind of traits. I been told that I'm really pretty not trying to sound concieted, but this goes on with my story. Anyhow there's this guy I went out with a few times. His totally not what I'm use too what so ever his more like the nerdy side I guess you can say. He met my parents today and of course I can tell my dad didn't like him so much. I have fun when I'm with him though and maybe being different is a good thing, but at the same time I feel like I can do better. I don't want to lead this kid on though thinking he has a chance which I don't even know if he might. It's kind of like the movie she's out of my league and that's what I keep telling myself. Maybe I should give him a chance, or what? (link)
|
Well if you think you can do better because he is on the nerdy side and isn't a football player then you shouldn't be leading him on.
I'm just saying, just cause he is a bit of a nerd doesn't mean he's not good enough. He's probably better than a lot of other guys out there.
Anyways, you can do whatever you want but if you're gonna keep thinking that, you shouldn't date him.
If you realize that he might not be too bad, then yeah, give him a chance. You might end up really liking him. If you have fun with him and he's a good guy who will treat you right and has good qualities, why not give him a chance?
|
So, i have a friend lets call him Johnny, hes a complete sweetheart, hes such a gentleman, were really good friends, before he didnt seem into me, then randomly out of a sudden he asked for my number,asked me to text him, and always asked to call me, that is when we started becoming really close friends, he says he doesnt want a commited relationship because his previous one he was really commited in , she left him and broke his heart.. but whenever were out hell hold my hand when were sittin down , trying to be sneaky til he grabs my whole palm and puts our fingers between eachother, and honestly.. i know i shouldnt be letting him but like it gets so akward.. i dont know how to move until i fake something like "i need to get something from my bag" or reach over to get water, but whenever i let go he just seems to do it again whatever chance he gets, he sweet talks me alot, buys me credit to call him, opens the door for me when i get out of the car or in the car, carries my bag for me, hes a total sweetheart, now my point of this story is basically, his best friend which is my sisters boyfriend says that he isnt the kind of guy they think i should date, hes a GOOD person.. they say, but he isnt for me.. they think its because he does things with girls and all that.. but to me he seems so respectful, never crosses limits and treats me great. they tell me i should limit myself from him because they know the kind of guy he is and they dont want him to pull anything on me, johnny says im so diffrent than any other girl he knows, and that im so innocent and he loves it, because all the girls he knows do the wrong things.
But i really dont know, should i limit myself from him. that way i dont fall for someone that is jus gonna break my heart?
Or should i just not listen to his best friend and continue what im doing? and another question is, its not my fault right.. i usually dont let guys hold my hand unless im with them, but i didnt know how to move it, i didnt want it to get akward , i didnt wanna come off as rude, esp that hes my really good friend and hes such a sweetheart.
thank you, please no rude answers, i didnt ask a stupid question, atleast i dont think so. :) (link)
|
My advice would be to listen to his best friend. He probably knows him better than you do. Even though you might be really starting to like him, he could be trouble. Plus he's not looking for a relationship anyways, or a committed one at least.
I used to always just date the guy that I liked and didn't get any advice or listen to anything people told me about the person. I should have, it was so stupid of me.
Whenever I think that I want to date someone I ask my parents, friends, and their friends to see what they think of them. If I did it all by myself, I could get myself into trouble and only have the side I see of him.
That's why its better to listen to what some people say.
|
Me and my boyfriend been together for 7 months now but i just dont know if i want to be with him or not anymore. I mean i do love him dont get me wrong there. What do i do?
I'm 15 and hes 16. (link)
|
If you're not happy then you guys shouldn't be together. What are your reasons you don't want to be with him anymore? If they are serious then you definitely should end it but if it's more like you're bored with the relationship, you could save it by finding things to do that you both don't usually do. Like going out different places instead of the usual hanging out you guys might do.
If you completely get tired of it, holding onto the relationship will probably make it worse and it'll be harder for you to let go even though you don't want it anymore.
You're probably just really comfortable and those crazy feelings you had in the beginning of the relationship started fading away. It happens a lot but it's your choice whether to stay in the relationship or not.
|
|
18/f. We ended up dating for several months and I broke it off about 6 months ago but we've been friends for about 1 year and a half. I was the one to end things with him because he was lying to me over and over again (about him and his ex and other important things) we stopped talking for a couple of months until one day he called me out of the blue. we tried talking things out but it didn't work so we agreed to being friends. He ended up transferring to my school and I see him every weekday. From the first day I seen him after the break up to a couple of weeks ago I would get irritated with everything he did, the way he talked, the way he looked at me, the way he talked. he used to tell me i wasn't "allowed to talk to other guys" and I started detaching myself from him. We're friends now and we talk every once in a while but for the past week or so, every time I'm not with him I miss everything about him. I miss just having him around me or simply hearing his voice and I'm not sure why. I know I do not want to go out with him because there's too much baggage but why all of a sudden do i miss him? how can i stop myself from missing him? I've tried distracting myself and keeping busy but no matter what I'm doing his always on the back of my mind and it's really starting to bother me. Have any of you ever felt this way towards an ex? how did you guys deal with it? (link)
| |
I agree with the person below me. I use to get irritated so much about everything my ex did. I just had to keep getting irritated and angry to get completely over him. It's gonna take a while for you to completely get over all of it but it will happen eventually. Just keep doing what you're doing with trying to stay busy. All you're doing is missing the old him and all the sweet things about your relationship. You don't really miss him. You miss his voice because it was something you had loved and it reminds you of the good times. You already know you don't want him back so just keep telling yourself that.
|
|
My bf is coming over tomarrow and just a while ago he asked me if we could have sex i was gonna hang up but then i startled and said yes! He got happy and said he loves me and wont try to hurt me then he said he was coming over tomarrow! should i trust him ? Should i have sex with him? Im a 13 yr old girl and my bf is 16...and plz no hurtful words i just need advice! :3 thnxs (link)
| |
You shouldn't do it. You're only 13. You can wait to have sex. Just because you two have sex doesn't mean he really loves you. You could end up getting really hurt by him or end up pregnant if something goes wrong. Plus, you are questioning whether or not you want to do it. You're scared and you're not ready. It can leave a huge emotional impact on you too, and at 13, you can't be ready to handle that alone. Just wait till you're older with someone you truly love and can fully trust. If you do it now, you'll probably end up regretting it.
|
|