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humorist-workshop
Confused and need guidance !
So, i have a friend lets call him Johnny, hes a complete sweetheart, hes such a gentleman, were really good friends, before he didnt seem into me, then randomly out of a sudden he asked for my number,asked me to text him, and always asked to call me, that is when we started becoming really close friends, he says he doesnt want a commited relationship because his previous one he was really commited in , she left him and broke his heart.. but whenever were out hell hold my hand when were sittin down , trying to be sneaky til he grabs my whole palm and puts our fingers between eachother, and honestly.. i know i shouldnt be letting him but like it gets so akward.. i dont know how to move until i fake something like "i need to get something from my bag" or reach over to get water, but whenever i let go he just seems to do it again whatever chance he gets, he sweet talks me alot, buys me credit to call him, opens the door for me when i get out of the car or in the car, carries my bag for me, hes a total sweetheart, now my point of this story is basically, his best friend which is my sisters boyfriend says that he isnt the kind of guy they think i should date, hes a GOOD person.. they say, but he isnt for me.. they think its because he does things with girls and all that.. but to me he seems so respectful, never crosses limits and treats me great. they tell me i should limit myself from him because they know the kind of guy he is and they dont want him to pull anything on me, johnny says im so diffrent than any other girl he knows, and that im so innocent and he loves it, because all the girls he knows do the wrong things.
But i really dont know, should i limit myself from him. that way i dont fall for someone that is jus gonna break my heart?
Or should i just not listen to his best friend and continue what im doing? and another question is, its not my fault right.. i usually dont let guys hold my hand unless im with them, but i didnt know how to move it, i didnt want it to get akward , i didnt wanna come off as rude, esp that hes my really good friend and hes such a sweetheart.
thank you, please no rude answers, i didnt ask a stupid question, atleast i dont think so. :)
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My advice would be to listen to his best friend. He probably knows him better than you do. Even though you might be really starting to like him, he could be trouble. Plus he's not looking for a relationship anyways, or a committed one at least.
I used to always just date the guy that I liked and didn't get any advice or listen to anything people told me about the person. I should have, it was so stupid of me.
Whenever I think that I want to date someone I ask my parents, friends, and their friends to see what they think of them. If I did it all by myself, I could get myself into trouble and only have the side I see of him.
That's why its better to listen to what some people say.
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Sometimes its good to listen to other people that way it'll help you in the long run. But than again, its also good to figure out things on your own. In any relationship you get into, you will always have that chance for heartbreak. If you do get with this guy, its a lesson well learned right? Wouldn't you rather figure out for yourself, rather than wondering 'what if' all the time?
I think you need to take matters into your own hands, and do what you feel is right for yourself. Not what everyone else thinks is right for you.
The only reason I'd tell you to limit yourself from him is because he told you he isn't ready for a committed relationship. The more he acts the way he is, the more it will confuse you when your feelings really start to build up. You will feel like he lead you on, or he was giving you mixed signals. When he grabs your hand again, you don't have to make it akaward, or be rude. Just simply say something like this,
*Move your hand away*
Look at him and say,
"You know I really like you. Your a total sweetheart and everything; but everytime you do things like this it makes my feelings for you grow stronger; and you told me you weren't ready for a committed relationship so I'd rather you not do things like this until you truly wanted to be with me. I just don't want to be lead on or read your signals the wrong way."
You don't have to say that exactly, but something around those words. That way your letting him know you like him, so you aren't neccessarily rejecting him; and your being nice about it.
Honestly, I think he's into you, but there is something more other than he doesn't want to be in a relationshp because of past experiences.
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