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March 7, 2011

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General Sex Questions

about

Hello, My name is... Michelle!

Ive been through a lot,so i know different stuff and could prolly give you some sort of advice.
Ive been through:eviction,my father leaving, 5 dads/wanna be dads,drugs,smoking,alcohol, best friends having babies,cheating,love triangles, sex buddies, family/friends deaths, abuse, stress, sicknesses, bi friends,miscarriage,etc. etc.

I love to laugh.Sometimes I cry, and I'm not always sure why. I love to have friends, but only few are real. I hate a lot of people, yet I'm nice to everyone. I try to figure things out, but yet I get nothing.I love being right. But always wrong. I love being close to people. but yet I'm so far.I tell myself things. and never do them. I know who I am. But not enough.
I lie to cover the pain. But it's revealed by honesty. I get away with too much. I'm always so messy.And my room is too.This is my life.
And I like this way.

Ask me anything because even if I'm not sure I'll try my best to help you and I'll let you know in my answer if I'm not sure!
I'm very wierd!or according to most people I am. I consider myself wierd too so its all good.

*Michelle*

advice

I know this Guy who ive Known for about 15 years now.
He was around alot during my Childhood years.!
Hes not to much older then iam.
He's a really good friend who i tell everything to.
He told me he wanted to be with me & that he was in love with me.

I dont know what to do!

How much older is he?
& Do you like him like that?

If he's not toooo much older than you & you like him then I would go for it.
Good luck ! (:

He's in jail for 6-8 years!! Im waiting for him, well giving it a shot! BUT I have no Idea what i'm gonna talk to him about (other than how I've been and whats going on out here). Any Ideas??

I have 3 friends & an uncle currently in jail, my step dad got out not that long ago. Here are some things I've wrote to them about:

Try to get to really know him & learn new things about him; places he wants to visit & things he wants to try

Find out what he wants to do when he gets out, the first thing he'll do, the first person he wants to see, place he wants to go, etc.

Try to keep him smilin so when times get rough he has something to cheer him up, maybe a joke or riddle, maybe include inside jokes between the two of you, or just maybe even write about some memories yall shared together. or maybe things you miss about him

I found songs that reminded of them or times we shared, & would ask them if they ever heard the song..if he says no send 'em the lyrics to the song & tell him that as soon as he gets out he'll get a cd with those songs on it so he can hear them

Keep him updated, let him know if a new store or place to eat comes into town, if you like the place to eat or the store tell him you're gona take him there when he gets out.

Most importantly just let him know youre there for him...

its a rough road to go down, but you have to go through the worst to experience some of the best (: good luck hun & i hoped i helped (:

what are some things that a girl can do to a guy that will turn them on?

You can do a lot of things to turn a guy on from the smallest thing like biting your bottom lip to kissing his neck.
Here are some things that I've done that my partners have told me turn them on:

Biting your bottom lip, especially when your still really close to their face after you had just kiss him.

Nibiling on his ear, some even like it if you lick the ear and the neck. BUT if you do this make sure your not like a dog and slober all over them, nobody likes that. So if you do slober all over them wipe it off..make a joke out of it or something. thats what I do...my partner likes it when I do that because he likes the way it feels but doesn't really like any slober that's left there, so i always crack a joke about it to make it feel good and less awkward.

A lot of my previous partners liked it when I touched/massaged there stomachs, especially when your on top (whether your just sitting there making out or having intercourse)
Or slightly lick and kiss from their mouth, to the neck, and down to where their jeans start, or even further if you wish.

If he has hair play with it, like run your fingers through it, or just massage his head and neck.

Some guys like it if you trace things slightly with your fingertips on their stomachs (personal favorite is to start from the top of the chest and move slowly down to where their jeans start and linger above the jean line then start back up)

These are the only ones I can think of right now... I hope they help :) & Good luck!

20/f, dating a 20/m.

My bf and I have been together for almost three months, and we're getting ready to start having intercourse. Niether of us are virgins, and we've done basically everything else with each other except have sex. In the past month I've begun birth control and he and I have both gotten tested for STDs, and we're planning on using condoms. So safe sex is a sure thing.

But I also believe that having a dialogue about sex before starting it is crucial, involving discussing our sexual history. I've told him about my sexual past, including funny embarassing stories and things that I do and don't like in bed. He didn't seem at all uncomfortable with hearing it and it really got us to a new level of trust. I invited him to share his experiences with me, but all he said he didn't like talking about it.

I'm really curious about his past, but I don't want to pressure him into telling me about anything that makes him uncomfortable. All I know is that he's had "Maybe just the one" previous partner, but I don't know anything else. Should I just get used to not knowing? I really don't want to pry, but if I'm going to be sleeping with him, does that make it at least a little of my business? Or no? I'm confused and I just want to know if I should drop the whole subject, and get used to being curious.

Thanks in advance!

Well for me I'm always curious, even when I know that I'll never get to know about my partners past.
In time he may open up to you about it...but you never know.
Expect to never know, but hope to find out (that's what I do)
Have you tried asking why he doesn't want to talk about it? If not next time the subject comes up ask him how come he doesn't like talking about it.
Don't pry though, it may have been a bad experience that he doesn't want to remember.So just let it go if he seems irritated or upset after you ask him.. maybe even ask him if in time he would eventually tell you what happened.
good luck! :)

I am a 15 yr old female. I have been dating this guy for 3 and a half years. He is amazing. We have been best buds since I can remember. He is kind sweet sensitive. I am not in love with him. Because I am too young for love. But I have very strong feelings for him. But here is the problem.
Me and my boyfriend have only held hands. Wehave agreed we both want too have our first kiss. But we dont know when to do it. We see each other once a week.But I really wanna kiss him. He said he wants too kiss me very badly. I dont know how too kiss but how do you know when it is the right time too kiss. We only see each other at youthgroup. We get 15 minutes to ourselves too do what ever and we hang out in a van. Any ideas on how we can have our first kiss????I am soo very sorry this is so long.

Take your time! It'll come naturally. And you're probably thinking it won't and your nervous that it won't be "right" or "perfect"... but relax, there is nothing to worry about because nothing is perfect.
When the time is right for ya'll to kiss..you'll know it.
I denied my first kiss... I gave him the cheek, then about a week later we were playing around and it just came naturally.
& if you want tips on how to kiss go to google & type in how to kiss & some tips come out..but remember they don't work for everybody because everybody likes different things. :)
Good luck! & don't stress it :)

I'm 17 and have had little flings with guys but never had a real relationship until my most recent one.My boyfriend of 3-4 months broke up with me because he said he didnt feel he liked me as much at that point as he should.I was his first real gf and i did everything for him (even his friends said i did more than any other girl has) and he admitted that i was the most amazing girl he's ever met.I guess after we broke up,we became close friends and hungout quite alot (people thought we were still together!) but he confronted me and said the friends thing isnt working because he feels as though I want more from him and i always bring up past times and he feels bad and doesn't want to hurt me anymore.I want to either get him back or move on...suggestions? I haven't done much ignoring him and all his friends are my friends so its hard to avoid him completely.Has anyone had this issue before?

I've been through this before, and i know it can be really hard, and sometimes it a bit easy. But you should probably move on. If yall have the same friends you can still have some contact (which I would want if I was you, but that's just me) But maybe if you try moving on you'll find some one better, and maybe even eventually later down the road you and him might get back together, you never know.
I don't know if I helped at all but good luck hope it works out the way you want it to :)

what are some big (non-obvious) turn ons for guys during sex and stuff?

Besides the ones that the person said before me;;
some guys like it if you kind of message there stomach, or like feel on it (especially while your on top)

Some guys like it if you kiss/slightly lick there stomachs down to their (you can figure out what)

Some like it when you kiss their neck and move your way to their ear & kinda nibble on it

And others like it when your kissing & you suck on their bottom lip or bite it gently...and when you pull away from a kiss bite your bottom lip gently, that sometimes turns them on a bit.

If your comfortable enough with your partner just ask what he likes
Hope I helped some what :) & good luck

so i like this guy at my school and he talks 2 me sumtimes but not alot how do i no if he likes me?

The only way is to talk to him more & pay attention to how he acts towards other people..
if you notice a difference there may be a possiblity he likes you, but the only way to know for sure is to ask him. don't be afraid to get test the waters and have fun, if he doesn't like you oh well move on there's somebody out there waitin for you to come along :)
good luck.!

19/F

My girlfriend comes back from her vacation soon and I want to do something cute/romantic for her when I pick her up from the airport/ have a date night with her the next night...any ideas?

Thanks!

I agree with the person before me, but I would also add to what they said, if you do the dinner with candle light thing i would also play some music too, and ask them to dance with you.. I only say this because there is nothing like dancing with your partner to some good music..
good luck :)

and doesn't support me as much as I need him to.. =/

Sooo, my boyfriend got me pregnant two months ago, we live together with his dad. But ever since I got a thumbs up from the doctors he's just been leaving the house at 11am and usually comes back around 12am... it's around 2:20am now and he still hasn't returned, I'm starting to get worred.. I don't know where he goes and he gets angry when I pry. He hasn't kissed me since the 19th - 20th April =/ He said he couldn't wait to be a father at the start but now he's drifted away..
What can I do? =[
(by the way, I'm from the UK.)

I agree with the person before me but I also think that you have the right to know what he's up to... ask him if he's worried about what is going to happen and etc,and tell him how you feel too. you are both probably worried/stressed about this and you need to talk to each other about it. have you tried to kiss him? tell him you want to kiss him, and you want to be kissed back.. tell him you need some support, and give him some too.. in relationships you must give and take, in order to take you also need to give though.

good luck with everything! :)

19/f has anyone been in a situation where they like someone & that person likes them back but you can't be together because of certain circumstances? :)

Oh yeah.! plenty of times. from parents not liking us being together, to long distance, to us already being taken by some one else, etc.
It can be a pain, but it can also be the best thing in the world :)

I went out with this guy in 8th grade for a few months and we really liked each other. I don't remember what happened but I broke up with him, let's call him Jim. Freshman year was the first time Ive ever fallen in love. We dated for a long time, we'll call him bob. Bob broke up with me because it was gonna be summer and we wouldn't have any contact due to the fact that my grandma doesn't like him. We ran into eachother a few times after and everytime we would end up making out whether we were taken or single. In late October I ran into him and we were both taken but we hung out alone for like an hour, we ended up making out and he told me how he still loves me and he wants to get back with me. I ran into him on Friday (we both are taken once again) and he's friends with my boyfriend Jim, well now ex. We were with a group of friends an Bob kissed me and told THEM how he's still in love with me. He told me he wants to hang out with me but I'm not sure because both of us love each other an who knows what will happen..now back to Jim, we kept in contact since 8th grade (I'm a sophmore now) and he told me he used to always tells me how he loves me. I went back out with him again for like a month and I broke up with him on Friday night. He was "depressed" and he's been trying to go back out with me this whole weekend. Well today I found out he already has a new girlfriend! Now there's one more guy.. Before I went out with Bob I had feelings for another guy, I'll call him Chris. He had feelings for me too but I had more feelings for Bob. While I was dating bob, Chris liked me on and off. We were best friends for a little over a year. We would talk everyday and he'd call me every night. We started growing apart when I got expelled from our old school and we barely talked. I haven't had a long conversation with him for like three months. Lastnight I was on myspace and he randomly sent me a message. We were talking for a few hours and now he wanta to hang out with me. I'm so confused about all three guys. I font know what to do anymore :( Im kind of mad at Jim, I rarely see Bob even though we will always have a spark. When I'm with him it feels as if it's only the two of us and nothing bad could happen. It's weird. And I'm just not sure about Chris. I don't have a specific question I just need advice on what to do with all three guys..

Okay, this is how I would handle the whole situation.. and none of this is meant to sound harsh or anything..
As for Chris I think you should just keep his as a friend, just because you sound like you don't want him in the way that you want Jim. So tell Chris that you just want to be friends, and thats all. If he has a problem with that then he'll either have to get over it or you shouldnt call him a friend anymore...(That sounds harsh, but its unintended.)
As for Bob, you shouldn't really feel bad for him being depressed, its just him saying that he wants you back and he's gona do that to try to keep your attention. Tell him you apologize for hurting him and that you don't want him anymore, especially since he apparently has a new girlfriend that he failed to tell you about sooner..
As for Jim... I would try to make things work, ask your grandma if she would give him a second chance and see if things could work out..
Sorry if I didnt help any... and good luck with the situation :)

im 17/f
i wanna get my belly button pierced, but my boyfriend of 2 years told me i could do whatever i want, he just doesnt like them. idk if i should get it or not bc his opinion matters a lot to me. what would you do?

Well in my opinion is that its your body, you can do what you want to it... But I would also care about my boyfriends opinion, maybe you should ask him why he doesn't like it.
And you can always wait to get it pierced..
=]

Been in a long distance relationship for 6 months now. Lately, all we do is argue. It's always over really, really petty things, obviously because we're so frustrated with not being able to physically be with eachother, and we just miss eachother to bits.

Usually I want to fix the argument right away, but the last little argument we had, I just turned off my phone for 4 hours, and didn't talk to him. And honestly, it felt good. Of course I still worried, oh god, he's going to be so mad..but I felt worry free for a little while.

I never told him this, just said I left my phone at home on accident while I went out. But today we had another spat, and instead of solving it he just went to sleep. So, usually I text him some sweet things, apologizing for the stupidness of the argument, and say i love him.

But, this time I didn't. I don't know if it's that I'm just getting so sick of the constant arguments over literally nothing, or what. My question is, do you think its worth staying with him?

I like him a lot, and I'm supposed to be visiting him in march. But, I just feel in my gut that this isn't going how I wanted. I really DON'T want to break up with him, ONLY because he's the most sensitive person ever (his last ex, it took him about 2yrs to get over, and i'm his 1st relationship since then), and I don't want to hurt his feelings. And, if I break him with him, I KNOW i'll be so hurt/miserable too. I'll sit here feeling like a horrible person, and probably thinking of all the actual good times we had.

But, I can't help but think that the hurt of losing him may be better than dealing with these pointless arguments all the time. And if I completely cut off communication and stuff, which is easier in a long distance relationship, wouldn't it be easier to get over him?

Oh, please any advice you have would be so helpful!! Thanks!

Long distance relationships aren't good most of the time. I've had two, and they both didn't work out, but everybody's different..
In my opinion theyre never a good idea, especially if you or your partner have trust issues.

I know you don't want to hurt him, but you need to do what makes you happy. Ya'll can still try to be friends, and if ya'll are meant to be ya'll will get back together in the future.

The small petty things your arguing about are the ones that kill your relationship, and almost everyone elses relationships. I know, I was with a guy for almost 3 years and we broke up, because of the petty things. They build up over time and you just can't take it anymore.

If you want to work it out, tell him that your sick of fighting and it needs to stop or the two of you won't last. (But tell him in a nice way.)

Just tell him how you feel, and see how things go, really take your time to think about what you want and what makes you happy, and whats in your best interest. (As much as I don't like this, it's the truth..We can't always protect everyone from getting hurt.)

Take some time, talk to him about, and see how it goes.Good luck! Let me know how it goes please =]

okay. so i have ben dating this guy for over a year now and we are so close we have done everything really so there im close to his family well close enough for now and im 17 i think it would be okay if i slept at his house with my mom knowing it would be great i wouldnt have to leave and id be happy his mom doesnt care if she talks to my mom. but my mom wont even let us in my room together whatever but so here what is a way that i could talk my mom into letting me go sleep at his house or let him in my room when he comes over.????

Talk to your mom, tell her your almost an adult now and you need more trust from her. (aka, letting him into your room at least.)

Tell your mom you want to stay the night as his, and that she can talk to his mom. Let her know that his mom said it would be okay. Suggest that you'll sleep on the couch (you can still stay up late with him), or that his mom will come check on ya'll every hour or couple hours to make sure that ya'll aren't doing anything. Or suggest that ya'll will leave the door open when you go to sleep.
Then as time goes on and both parents grow to trust you and your boyfriend they can leave the two of you alone more.

Just tell your mom how you feel, don't be rude about it or she'll make you wait until your 18, once you turn 18 though she can't do anything about where you stay the night.

I've been in the same situation, we did a LOT of negotiating to come up with terms and conditions of me staying at his house. Our rules were:
Leave the door open, Some one check on us every hour or couple hours, and one of us had to sleep on the couch, and someone checked on us to make sure we didn't sneak back into the room. Then as time went on we we're finally trusted enough to where I could just sleep in his bed with the door closed and no one checked on us.

Good luck! & let me know how it goes if you don't mind. =]

Ok so I'm 14 and in 9th grade. Last weekend I met this boy at a friends party. We immediatly hit it off. I told my best friend Taylor that I liked him a lot by the end of the party. She and Bobby are friends so she told him for me and he felt the same way. And at the party he was so cute we went outside. It was raining so he gave me his jacket. And then the next day he asked me out. This was over aim. I said yes and that's that. During the weekend we talked a lot and we have so much in common. We both love horror movies, like shakespear, have most of the same friends. Pretty much we agree on everything. Monday after school I stayed after with him and we watched a volleyball game. We talked and talked and he's really great because he just keeps the Convo going. Tuesday I didn't see much of him and we didn't really talk to much today. I really like him and I want this to last but I'm worried things are going to get akward. Plus everyone thinks he's gay and whatever because he's got a lot of friends that are girls. And I'm not sure if he really likes me now or at all. I want to give this relationship a good chance so what can I do? With some friends were going to the mall so I need some advice on how to get him to know I like him. We've been going out for like 3 days when should we hold hands or kiss? Help please! :) thanks so much

Dont stress about him, plenty of other fish in the sea and you still have a while before you need to worry about relationships.
When yall are ready to kiss it will just happen, don't plan it or anything. You can try holding his hand thats not that big of a deal. Just casually try holding it or ask him if yall can hold hands.
Don't be too pushy you have only been going out for 3 days.. its too soon to rush anything.
&& to know if he likes you play around with him, has a hat- take it from him, tease him lightly about how hes not going to get it back, and if he tries to grab for it- well yall get closer and theres possibilty for a kiss =] Just play around with him and if he plays back theres a good chance he likes you.
Good luckk! Let me know how it goes =]

My relationship with my ex was incredibly stressful and destructive. We argued constantly and even though we loved and cared about each other, we couldn't make it work. We were together for about a year but split up at least twice during that period. Eventually, I ended the relationship. He claimed to be heartbroken and kept calling and texting me with angry and hurtful messages.

About a week later, it turned out he was seeing a girl I'd always been suspicious of. He is now having a relationship with her. Although he admitted he was still in love with me, he said he had moved on and refused to discuss it with me. Now he won't talk to me at all.

I know I broke up with him and he has every right to do what he wants but I can't help being hurt and upset. It feels like a betrayal. Although it could just be a rebound thing, it's like he's chosen the one girl he knew would hurt me the most. I can't help but think he didn't really love or care about me if he can move on that quickly. I assumed we had mutual respect for each other and after he tried so hard to guilt trip me and upset me when we split up, I'm surprised that he immediately got into a new relationship.

I want to just forget about it, but I can't stop thinking about the fact that he's with her. I've avoided going out because in case I bump into them and because the girl lives just round the corner from me, I'm scared I'll see her. My ex also goes to my college and is in one of my classes, so I can't avoid him. How can I forget about this? It's making me angry and upset and affecting everything in my life.

My ex did the same thing, and we got back together. He told me his reasoning for dating the other girl was to help him get over me. So maybe you ex is doing the same, but trying to get back at you at the same time.

If I was you I'd dress up, look super hot; and whenever he's around smile and laugh, make it look like your okay. If he thinks about you, which he probably does, then seeing you like this will probably make him think about you more.

And as for forgetting about the situation, I think the best thing you can do is go out with friends and family and have fun. Every now and then have a night to yourself allowing you to eat ice cream, watch a movie, cry, sing as loud as you want to a song like "so what" by pink, and take a hot shower to get everything out of your system.

Hope everythings works out in your favor. =]

I caught up with an old high school friend about 3 weeks ago he came to town from 2 hours away to visit family and friends. I'm currently in a relationship but it's abusive and I'm trying to get out of it. However over a period of 2 and half weeks I think I may have fallen in love with my high school friend. We talk on the phone all night and we have so much in common and my heart beats faster everytime I hear him talk to me and I cry sometimes because I miss him and I feel really bad. The thing is he lives 2 hours away...He said he will move back down to my hometown but it's so hard to hear him say that when he might not be able to keep his promise. I think I am in love but I'm not sure. I can't seem to get my mind off him and when he calls me I have a big smile on my face. I told him that I think I really like him but I haven't told him everything only because I feel like I should hold my feelings back but it's so hard I want to wait for him to move back home but I feel like I also can't wait forever. I have no idea what I should do... Am I in love? According to what I'm telling you? WHAT is happening to me!!!

You really need to get away from your current boyfriend! It might be hard but it needs to be done.

Tell your high school friend about the abuse. Tell him how you feel about him, let him know you dont want to wait forever but you do want him.
If you cry when you talk to him because you miss him, and you smile when your on the phone with him and things of that sort, you may be in love.

I told some one else this and I'll tell you to... its not the exact thing of what I told them but what I remember of it: Its better to know than not to know at all. You could miss out on something great and wonderful.
I knew a guy for 3-5 years and I found out we could have had a relationship because he wanted me like I wanted him. But the year I found out he moved.. And it was so hard, get him while you can. Don't miss out like I did..(but in my case I now have a wonderful boyfriend whom I love.)
And even if the school friend doesnt like you at least you got away from abuse...and maybe you and your friend can still be friends at least.

I hope I helped you. Sorry this was a bit long. And Good luck. I hope you get away from the abuse and get a new boyfriend.

okay so i've been dating my boyfriend a yeah and he talks about how one day he knows he is going to lose interest this hurts me and i try not to let it get to me but it does. it's like he knows the end is coming and he is preparing both of us for it. N ow I'm not naive i do know that eventually chances are it will. We don't really fight we don't have problems, we get along great and he tells me if he ends it it wont be because he stopped loving me it will be because he wont be able to be with someone he is "bored of". Now please don't tell me it seems like a jerk thing to tell your girlfriend. I'm just looking for things i could do to make things more interesting, not necessarily sex wise just in general to make him not lose interest. He told me he doesn't like me as much now as he did when we first started dating, I cant go act like i did in the beginning because i haven't changed, hes just getting bored.
What can i do to avoid him ending it or at least to get these thoughts of boredom out of his head.
please help me
thanks x 100000000000

H.R.

Do something with him, if you don't already, and if you do try something new.
Go out if you dont. Maybe bowling, movie nights, play a board game, play video games with him, go outside and do something.. Just a few ideas.

Make bets on who can beat up who..if you play fight. Bet kisses and stuff. Or make bet kisses or something on who will win a game.

Write him love notes telling him how much you love him, if you do. But do NOT OVER Do it.. I dont think guys like it when you over do it.

Be creative.

I'm 15/f and my boyfriend and I have been dating for 1yr. and 8 months. So I know what its like. These are some of the tips that I could come up with,its what I do to keep my relationship a little interesting.

You dont have to change yourself for some one else though.
Hope I helped. Good Luck with you and your guy.

13/f
I like my best guyfriend. I think he likes me... What do you think?-- We flirt alot and he always asks my opinions on things. I sit next to him in two classes. He's really nice to me and tells me alot of his secrets. He looks at me often. He has called me hot before. Like all this sounds so great, but for some reason i feel like he doesnt like me. What do you think?????

The best way to know is ask... its better to know than to not know at all. there will always be "what if" it can't really hurt to ask.

Maybe bring it up casually when your talking, around that kind of relationship or who likes who kind of subject. Or maybe bring it up as a joke, what would you do if I told you I liked you? It took me 3 years to find out a guy liked me and when I found out it was too late, he was moving far away. Don't be like me and lose out on something that could have happend.

Good luck with this guy! I hoped I helped you some.

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