If you are not sure that you still like your new guy so much anymore, don't lead him on. Just be friends with him so that his feelings don't end up getting crushed if you decide you don't want him anymore. You can't be all that into him if your ex is on your mind. You should see if things between you and your ex are really over and take it from there. Think about why you broke up in the first place and if it can be repaired. If he feels the same way you will have to decide if getting back with him is worth missing out completely on this new guy because it is likely to happen once he finds out.
Good Luck!

I can't tell you what to do, but relationships have to be built on trust and if there is none it won't work. You should tell him how you feel but if he doesn't seem to care and continues hiding and sneaking I would just move on. Its not worth it to go thru the drama whether its over facebook or something else. You may need to have someone who is more mature if facebook or sneaking is an issue in your relationship.

I think that all of your concerns are completely valid. It is great that you realized that after your ex you had a rebound and nothing more. That means that you will be able to tell if this new guy is really someone special or just another distraction. You don't need to worry about telling him the intimate details about what happened between you and your ex until much time passes and you feel that you are ready. That is a sensitive subject and I think its great that you want to be open and honest about it. If he is as decent of a guy as you say he is, he will not judge you for your past experiences. Everyone has a past and we learn from them. I really think the best thing that you can do for yourself is to just take your time. This new guy sounds like a great catch and since you are over your ex, you deserve to have someone to enjoy. Just take things slowly with him and do what feels comfortable for you. Don't allow yourself to be swayed by any pressures stemming from peers, society or even him. As time goes by, you will be able to see clearly just what type of guy he is and you will be glad that you were patient. Enjoy the new phase and allow things to progress naturally.

Best of Luck ; )

I agree with the previous person's advice. It doesn't make any sense to try and be in a relationship with a person like this girl who obviously has no clue about what she wants. She has disrespected you to the max and I don't understand why it is that you are still around allowing her to treat you this way. You seriously need to cut your losses and move on. If you stick around, you will only regret it later....I can guarantee you that. Sorry if this is not what you want to hear, but it is the truth.


and I know that was you who inboxed me but you can't be angry at other ppl for telling you the truth. If you don't want to know, don't ask or get the hell over it. Beating a dead horse will get you nowhere. That you even have to ask our advice on this scenario is pretty sad.

It sounds as though you are young and somewhat new to dating. If this is the case then you really don’t need to worry about putting pressure on yourself. You are going to date different people and Mike will not be your last boyfriend. I’m not saying that you should go around cheating, but don’t be so hard on yourself for wanting to go out and have a good time. You should just be clear and up front with him and any other guys you choose to talk to or date. Let them know that you are not looking for anything too heavy and that you are just enjoying yourself. There is nothing wrong with that unless you are being misleading. One day you may fall for someone and decide that you want to settle down for good and then you will only be with them. That will only happen when you decide that you are ready and that it is something that you want. Until then, just have fun and be cautious about the choices you make.

I think that you will probably be disapointed if you wait around for him. Go out and see other people. You could meet someone great, then your ex won't even be a factor. Life is too short for you to put anything on hold for someone who is offering no promises. Live your life and if things are meant to happen between you two, they will. If not, don't lose any sleep over it because he doesn't seem to care at the moment. Let him play the field and you move on elsewhere.

I don't think that the two of you are anywhere near ready to be married. If you already know that he cheated...which you do, he isn't worth your time. Lots of guys use the excuse that they were scared because they think that it makes them look better because fear indicates vulnerability. Please do not fall for that. More than likely he is someone totally different when you are around. Also, more importantly if this guy is into different types of drugs and getting high why on earth would you subject your son to this type of behavior. You are a parent, so your decisions need to run a lot deeper than if he's cheating on you or using you for help with bills. The choices you make in men and who you decide to have around your son now will affect his future. This guy does not sound right and he has problems of his own that he needs to work out. Your first priority should be your child, you can't raise the guy you were dating. My advice is to leave him alone and move on. He's a cheater with a drug habbit. He really doesn't sound like someone who can add great things to your life. I feel that you can do better as long as you maintain your standards. Don't make your son or yourself pay the price for a weak decision....move on.

Be honest with him about your feelings and watch for his body language while you talk. See if he actually listens and cares about your concerns. Let him know that if things are not worked out you are prepared to move on and find happiness elsewhere. If he seems to care and does talk to you about change...there may still be some hope. If he sighs,rolls his eyes,looks away or seems likes he's not interested then you need to let him go and do better for yourself. Be warned that if you decide to leave him and he finds out that you are seeing someone else he will probably try to wiggle his way back into your life. This doesn't always mean that he has changed or even that he necessarily wants you back but will have more to do with the fact that he doesn't want someone else to have you. So, really think about it and be honest wit yourself. If you see that this relationship is going nowhere, get out and find happiness elsewhere.

In situations I always decide that going with the heart is best, but you can't allow your heart to blind you from the reality in front of you. I'm sure she is a great person and has beautiful children, but that is a situation that is not ideal for an 18 year old. It could also become unhealthy for you at some point. If you decide to be with her, you may end up subconsciously hating her and blaming her for "robbing" you of a life that you deserved. Honestly you are too young to take on her burdens...and yes that is what they are because the marriage and children are her own. Those things are something that you should have the opportunity to go through yourself someday when you are ready. You can not allow the decisions she has made for herself dictate the path of your own life. You are only 18 and though you feel she is great you will absolutely find someone else who is even better and more suited for you. You will be happy with someone else if you give yourself the chance. Its not really about society, I am thinking about you and your future. you are in college and will have amazing things ahead. Focus on school and girls will come. I do not think that this particular young lady is the one for you. She hasn't even completely ended her marriage before beginning a relationship with someone else so her life in really not in order at all. She will drag you down with stress and weight that you don't need as a18 year old college freshman. Trust me, it will be hard to leave her alone at first but with time you will be very glad that you did. You can do better than a married woman with kids who isn't on your path. Be realistic with yourself and what you are ready for and it will begin to get easier for you. Being an 18 year old step father will not keep your interest and you would have contemplated leaving regularly if you had stayed. It will be better for you to have a clean break and move on, Good Luck!!!

Take it one day at a time. Yes he is going to college, but that doesn't have to mean that things end there. Enjoy where you are now and getting to a more serious place in your relationship. Don't jump ahead by worrying about things that may happen in the future. Young love feels great so enjoy being in the moment. When the time comes...you and him can sit down and discuss the dynamics of the relationship and where it is going, expectations etc. For now it is best to keep it light. You don't want to turn him off by jumping too far ahead. Good Luck!

It sounds like you are really into your feelings heavy for this other guy because you view him as a possible escape from what you are going thru with your current boyfriend. It doesn't mean that the feelings are not real....they probably are since you've liked him in the past. You need to make sure you close one door before you open the other. If you do not sort out your feelings for your current boyfriend before jumping into another relationship, your feelings could switch back and forth between both guys. You don't want your heart involved in a tug of war situation, so if you are really finished with your current boyfriend then end the relationship with a clean break and be sure about your decision. As long as you would also end your relationship with your boyfriend without the promise of your crush being an option...you know you are doing it for you. Once you make the decision, commit to it and then you will truly be free to date someone else. The guy you have a crush on may feel the same way you do, but you will never know unless you explore. Rejection is always difficult to take, but if e isn't into you you will get over it and be fine again. The alternative of him never knowing how you feel and getting with someone else will always haunt you if you say nothing. You don't want to have the constant "what if" thoughts or regrets. Tell him a subtle way how you feel and just do it lightly and read his body language and response to you. You may be very suprised at the outcome. Good luck!

Sine it seems that you have done most of the reaching out I think that it wouldn't be a problem if you called her tomorrow to make plans. Today is ok as well,but tomorrow might be better. If you can't wait until tomorrow, just kind of keep it a little brief so that you don't appear as if you are trying to monopolize her time.If she's responding to all of your texts then it seems that she likes you. She will be thrilled that you want to ask her out again....just start off light. Women don't like it when a guy is too pushy so if she is busy or needs to schedule the date for a later night than you planned, don't be angry or forceful. Call her tomorrow and if she doesn't answer leave her a brief message about the two of you getting together. This way she knows exactly what you wanted and you can tell by her actions that follow whether or not that is something that she wants to do. If she doesn't answer and you leave a message she should call you back....I doubt that she wouldn't. take it from there. Any other questions let me know.

Just wait a few days, about 3 but not longer than that. You won't seem desparate and it won't be too long. Females love when you show that you are interested, but hate to be smothered. As long as she sees that you like her but still have your own things going on, she will be into you. Ease in and take your cues from her so you aren't coming on too strong. It sounds like she likes you, so you are doing something right.

Fill your time with other things. Pick up a fun hobby and hang out with your friends. Do fun things that make you who you are. Understand that there is nothing wrong with you just because that particular guy isn't interested. He will seem more appealing since he wasn't east to get, but don't waste your time. There are plenty of other guys that will be interested so just date someone else and this guy will become a memory over time.

Forget about him. It sounds like he is trying to use you for your body. Some guys try to play a guilt trip or become angry in an effort to trick you into feeling sorry and giving them what they want. You did the right thing so don't go back to that.

Check out myhotcomments.com they have lots of graphics and quotes on all the subjects you've named.

If you really do love him, there is no harm in giving him a chance to make things better. I would give myself a time line though. You can't expect him to be someone different, so give the relationship a set amount of time and part ways if things are not good by then. You have to stick to the time frame you set for yourself, or you could be doing this dance for years never truly getting what you want. If he is not the type of boyfriend you want, then you should just move on because there are plenty of guys who will do the small things and you will have that spark. People can make adjustments, but they will always be who they are and you can't change that. It would be fairer to you to begin with someone you feel more compatible with rather than settling.

You are very welcome and don't be ashamed to embrace what you are feeling. Most people are afraid of being alone and just won't admit it, so you are not alone. This situation just tugs at your heart so much and each betrayal for me hurt more than the last. If you are afraid of how huge the next lie could be, you will be a thousand times better off without him. I have had women tell me about sleepless nights, weight loss, and hair loss etc. The stress can really get to your health. You will happy again, time will heal you. :)

I want to start by saying that I completely understand your hurt, humiliation and other emotions regarding this situation. I have been in a similar situation before and as time goes on you wish that you had gotten out sooner because it seems that the longer you stay in, the harder it is to move on, but also the dumber you feel. It seems that your ex wants you to feel bad for him, but guys almost always learn the lesson far too late. It has been my experience that even when you do feel sorry for them and decide to try again; they eventually get back to their normal routine of hurting you. It hurts us a lot because we love them and want the relationship to work. Relationships cannot grow when one partner is working overtime for it while the other person is having fun. He doesn't understand that his actions have destroyed your faith and peace of mind. Once that trust has been broken in such a foul way, the relationship can never be the same. He wants you to believe that you are crazy because he doesn't like that he was caught. The excuses about it being a joke and you being wrong for snooping are all excuses that I have heard many times before. He feels salty now, but that is it.... don't give in to his nonsense. As long as he is someone not to be trusted, he will be the wrong guy for you. You have to continue to choose yourself. Having been through marriage and divorce already, I'm sure that you are emotionally drained by all of this. Choose your piece of mind and continue to follow your goals. The happiness you want will be your choice. Live and go get what you want out of life and someone else could be waiting for you. Even if you decide to be alone for a while, life doesn't stop. A dog will do anything to get what he wants and that includes lying and deceiving you. He doesn't have your best interest at heart so let him go and cut all ties. Maybe in time he will learn better, but more than likely he will not. A cheating liar has issues that are more about themselves and little or nothing to do with you. So,don't allow him to cause you turmoil any longer. The point of ending the relationship should also include ending any hurt associated with him. Cut him off and if he stalks you, change your number or get a protective order against him. Show him that you are done and he will have no choice but to leave you alone. He just wants to play on your sympathy. It will be difficult at first and you will have random memories at times, but with time it will fade and you will surely get back to you. Love yourself enough to break the cycle and enjoy your life. Tomorrow is not promised to any of us so you have to live right now. Pick up a new hobby, a new book, hang out with good friends, and take up dancing or a music class or whatever your interests are. Once you fill your life with other fruits, he will have the small place in your mind that he deserves until you are completely passed him. It is also important to the healing process that you are honest with yourself and with those closest to you. Talk to who you are close with. They can help you so you are not going through this alone and they will understand. They can offer you validation when you need it and give you strength when you feel weak. You have already taken steps in the right direction. You can do it!!!Him saying "I love you" all the time is to keep you mushy and loving him. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you, but he just doesn't know how to do it the right way. I'm sure that the two of you had a great love, but love alone is not enough.GoodLuck!!!and I'm always here if you need to talk more.

Love isn't enough, but its a great start. For things to work, both people need to work hard at the relationship. Relationships are too much work for one person. If you really want it to work, try your hardest. Be realistic with yourself though, don't do all the work or be unfair to yourself. If this relationship isn't right for you, or is causing you constant unhappiness, don't be afraid to move on and let it go. Do what makes you happy even if it doesn't include the person you are with at the moment. Your prince could be patiently waiting in your future. Sometimes you have to let go of something old to get something new. You haven't let go yet because you aren't done and that's ok. I hope you guys can work things out. If things don't work out and you decide you really have had enough, you will find the strength to leave.

--------------------------------------------------

I believe in telling the truth, so I will be honest with you. I also believe that when it comes to respect...reciprocity is key!
Any question that rests on your head is one worth asking.

Gender:
Member Since:
Answers:
Last Update:
Visitors:
Main Categories: