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my past is getting in the way of this new guy
Okay. So this is pretty big for me. I had a really bad break up three months ago. I'm still hurting from it, but I AM over my ex. I like this new guy. He's sixteen; a new junior and I am fifteen; a new sophomore. He's always been a pretty good friend. But he's a really really really good kid so I never really hung out with him much... He doesn't drink or smoke or hook up or anything. He's basically perfect... He's smart, sweet, athletic and really cute! I like him. A lot. We've kind of been talking... kind of. We've been texting a lot and being pretty flirty... But I'm worried becuause right after my ex and I broke up three months ago, I went for a rebound I thought I really liked too... True, its been a long time and I feel liek I'm in a much better place, but I'm still worried. I'm also worried that I might be too... I don't know. See I made a mistake with my ex. We went too far... physically and he told everyone about it. There were all sorts of messed up things that led up to me giving into his pressuring, and in some of the cases, it was physical force, and someday (when things get more serious) I will explain it to this new guy. I didn't want to go as far as I did... Ugh its really complicated. I don't want this new guy to judge me on what happened... I want to explain to him but it's not to the point yet that I feel comfortable telling him about it... So it's kind of a catch 22. What happened might keep me from getting to a level where I feel comfortable explaining to him what happened... Ya know?? So what do I do? I like him a lot... I just want it to work.
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First of all you shouldn't have to answer to anybody you shouldn't have to explain yourself either this has nothing to do with this new guy and if he truly likes you that shouldnybother him if he finds out .you see people think to get to know someone or getting closer to someone you should be open and tell everything about your past but that's not so you don't have too the past is the past that doesn't have nothing to do with the future you don't have to go into detail with your life not unles you want too .that's the beauty of starting over to forget and move on .so with all that said and done go get your man don't let your past stop you
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I think that all of your concerns are completely valid. It is great that you realized that after your ex you had a rebound and nothing more. That means that you will be able to tell if this new guy is really someone special or just another distraction. You don't need to worry about telling him the intimate details about what happened between you and your ex until much time passes and you feel that you are ready. That is a sensitive subject and I think its great that you want to be open and honest about it. If he is as decent of a guy as you say he is, he will not judge you for your past experiences. Everyone has a past and we learn from them. I really think the best thing that you can do for yourself is to just take your time. This new guy sounds like a great catch and since you are over your ex, you deserve to have someone to enjoy. Just take things slowly with him and do what feels comfortable for you. Don't allow yourself to be swayed by any pressures stemming from peers, society or even him. As time goes by, you will be able to see clearly just what type of guy he is and you will be glad that you were patient. Enjoy the new phase and allow things to progress naturally.
Best of Luck ; )
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