about

My name is Angel, and I'm from northern California. I come from a large family where I'm the oldest, and I've lived a long, strange life. I have just about seen it all. In the last couple years, I have kicked a bad drug/alcohol addiction, and I can proudly say that I'm a sober teenage girl. I have a job, I'm a nanny/family assistant, whatever you want to call it. I'm a senior in high school, and I'm genuinely happy. I have a boyfriend, and we've been together for almost a year now. I have a lot of good advice, because I have a lot of life experience. I come from a broken family, I have step-relatives, and half-relatives. I just reunited with my mother after 10 years. My sister is a drug addict of the worst possible kind. I've been in all types of relationships. I guess it's safe to say that I know a little bit about a lot of things, and there's a lot that I know a lot about. Then there's things that I know nothing about, and that's when I ask questions. Thanks for reading my little rant, ask me anything. I check my email everyday, so if you can't reach me on my column, email me. ~Angel xoxo

advice

17/M.........Iv been worrying that my Girlfriend has Cheated on me or is still Cheating on me.I would like to get some advice on how to find out if she is or isn't.Thanks in advance

Well, you could spy on her, track her phone, her car, and hire people to follow her around. But chances are that will ruin your relationship once she catches on. There's no real way to know if someone is cheating on you. You have to trust her. If you love her, and you really want to be with her, you have to trust her. If she feels the same way about you, she's not cheating on you. Hope I helped. ~Angel

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haha, i am new at this and dont really know the real way to "keep you posted"...but anyway...your advice really made sense and made me look at the whole thing differently. i think the most basic and sure thing to do is just keep on going with the relationship, having a good time, and just seeing where life takes it:-)

That's what I'm here for. I just like to hear when people follow up after I've given them advice, it feels good knowing that I helped someone today. Thank you so much for keeping me posted. I'm very happy for you. Best wishes to you and your relationship, I hope you two remain happy with each other. Enjoy life now while you're still young, these years are precious and worth enjoying every minute of. Good luck with wherever life takes you. =D ~Angel

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i always picking on my boyfriend alll the time like hurting him something like that, sometime he got mad, but why i always picking on him not my another ex boyfriend? i do love my boyfriend i should show him love than picking on him, is that mean i don't love him or what? i want show him more love, but I'm not that good, i love begin picking on him, how can i stopped it?

Sometimes I pick on my boyfriend too. He doesn't like it either. What I would suggest, is to give him compliments as much as you can. Compliment anything and everything he does. If you're going to pick on him and make fun of him, make sure you make fun of yourself more. If he can laugh at you and pick on you a little bit, while it's all humorous, he won't feel as bad when you pick on him. That's a few suggestions, I wish you both the best of luck. Keep me posted. ~Love Angel

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16/f...my boyfriend's 15/m (almost 16 though) i'm kinda awkward around my bf. i mean i REALLY like him, and he REALLY likes me. but he's my first and i'm not HIS first..
so i dunno what to do around him and i'm afraid i'll do something stupid and make a fool of myself. i'm afraid he won't like me anymore. like, when we were about to kiss, i freaked out, and we just pop kissed instead. he knows he's my first boyfriend and he's taking things slowly. but i dont want them to be TOO slow. i'm not usually like this around my friends. i'm just really scared that he's staring at my imperfections or something or that he thinks badly of me. and when we're going to kiss next time...but for REAL, i don't know whats going to happen...ahhh..
any experienced people...lol what do i do?

You're probably freaking out and working yourself up for nothing. He didn't want you to be his girlfriend based on your imperfections. There's obviously a reason why he likes you. If you really like him, try to be comfortable around him. It's hard, I know. When you guys are about to kiss again, just put whatever you got into it, if he reacts in a weird way, don't apologize or be weird about it. Tell him he's a good kisser, he'll probably say the same right back to you, it's not an incredibly difficult thing to do. If you feel to uncomfortable, play the cute/innocent role, "you have to teach me how to kiss." He would love something like that, boys love innocent girls, and they love feeling like they're better at everything they do.
After a month into our relationship, I got my 19 year old boyfriend to make out with me for the first time in his life, 19 years old and never made out with anyone, he had done other things, he just never made out. I was very supportive, and I even TAUGHT him how to kiss, I taught him. He's a pro now. Don't sweat it hun, if you guys really like each other, it'll be great no matter what. Keep me posted and good luck! ~Love Angel

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okay so i met my boyfriend about 7 years ago and hes two years older hen me, we didnt decide to start dating until july of 07. lately he yells at me alot and trys telling me what i can and cannot do and he even has other girls before me on his myspace page, i dont know what to do. For christmas he bought me a very expencive necklace and told me he wanted to be with me for a long time and everytime i accuse him of being a player he says "if i was playin you i wouldnt of bought u anything and we wouldnt have been together for this long" [he has a bad history of being a player] so what should i do? how do i know if hes cheating? and should i leave him?

What I would do for your own sake and self-respect is set boundaries. Don't let him tell you what you can and cannot do, that's controlling. You have to set boundaries for yourself and simply say, "I'm not comfortable doing/not doing that." You'll find that he'll respect you a lot more later on.

As far as myspace goes, it's myspace. If he's cheating on you through myspace he's not even worth your time. But as far as knowing if he's cheating on you or not, there's no way of "knowing." If he can't be honest with you about it [which would be hard for him I'm sure] then you have a couple of choices. You can break up with him just because you had doubt in his loyalty, or you could stay with him and set boundaries for yourself.

People say "once a player, always a player." Well, I believe people do change. You might be the girl that takes the player out of the game, you know what I mean. You just have to be honest with yourself and ask yourself if he's worth keeping around. Maybe he's not mature enough for someone like you. I think that once you've gotten some good advice, and a clear head, you should have a serious conversation with him, without arguing, and just tell him how you're feeling and what it is you want, and what you want from him. If he is willing to respect your wishes, then give him another chance [that's just my advice. do what you do], if he wants to argue, then don't waste your time. You can't change him, he has to be willing to change. This is just my personal opinion, if you didn't like what I have to say there are plenty of people with a lot of different opinions, but I hope you do what's right for you. Good luck and keep me posted hun. ~Love Angel

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ive been going out with my gf for 11 months.(15 yrs old) mostly things are good and then theres sometimes we have our fights, but who doesnt? i will admit im a little insecure at times and times when i get insecure are the times i wished i was single again when i have no one (girlfriend) to worry about. their parents like me my parents like her. its really hard to explain but for the most part everythingg is good but i guess when i start to think i miss the single days. should i be feeling any of this when mostly things are so good? if anyone my age has had a long relationship like this and broke up please explain...i also feel like i shouldnt break up because its been so long. any help will do, thanks.:-)

Before I answer this question, I have to say that I'm pro relationships. But with an unbias opinion, I would say that you're young. You're not supposed to know what you want at this age. You have to follow your heart on this one. If you break up, that means that you don't get to cuddle with her, smell her hair, all the little things you appreciate would be gone. Put your insecurities aside for a minute. Would you honestly be happier single? If you answer yes, then you know what to do. My personal opinion; once you've been with someone for so long, something small like an insecurity [and that is small in the long run] isn't worth breaking up over. It's normal to miss being single. As human beings we always want what we don't have, right now you don't have the freedom of a single 15 year old. You just have to make your decision based on your happiness, not what she wants, not what your friends tell you. Once again, you guys have been together for almost a year, is there anything really worth breaking up with her over at this point? It sucks having these thoughts when you're in a relationship, but I hope you make the decision that's right for you. Good luck, keep me posted. ~Angel

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me and my long term boyfriend just broke up. and i'm taking it really hard. even to the point where i take it out on my mom. i really want to move on but i don't know how to. can some one please give me some help?! cause if i don't move on, i know i'll end up self-destructing myself.

You have to keep yourself busy. Just find something to do, take life an hour at a time. It's as simple as, "Ok, what am I going to do in the next hour?" Then once you've done that, move on to the next hour. It's hard going through a breakup, but you'll get through it. Just keep yourself busy, and try to take your mind off of him for a while. Try to do something nice for three other people. The more you help others, the less it's about you and the more it's about them. Do something nice for 3 people for nothing in return. What's the worst that could happen? Good luck hun. Take care of yourself. I'm here if you need anyone to talk to. ~Love Angel

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15/f/freshman

kay so i have a boyfriend and we've been dating for about 3 months. it's not that long i know but is it bad that like i don't tell him everything and i know things about him but like not everyyything? it seems like everytime i see someone being a couple they know everrything about eachother and tell them everyyyything. i'm kinda shy and new to the whole actual dating and going places with a boyfriend so i get kinda nervous around him but it's gotten way better. also we started "dating" like a few days after we met so i think we're still developing in our relationship a lot. thats not bad right? and i love him but i'm not "in love" with him you know like it's a friend love but a little more then that.

another question, like i said i get nervous and like can't think of what to talk about around him because i'm so afraid that i'm going to sound dumb. i'm really insecure. how do should i attempt to break that shell?

i don't know, i think it might be better now that i have lunch with him next semester, so anyone who helps, thanks a ton, i mean it =]

I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we don't know everything about each other yet. You've only been with your boyfriend for three months, you shouldn't know everything about him by now, if you did, there would be no interesting element of your relationship, you would have nothing to talk about. Sometimes what me and my boyfriend do is we will actually set time aside from our friends and jobs and stuff and we'll go get coffee and talk about ourselves and get to know eachother, like a date, but we've been in a relationship for a long time.

It's not bad to get into a relationship with someone you just met, chances are this wont be permanent, although I hate to be a pessimist, hardly anything lasts forever these days.

As far as being insecure goes, I have that same problem. I always feel like my boyfriend's going to judge me or think I'm stupid. Tell your guy how you feel, tell him you don't want to sound stupid, you never know. Maybe he'll think that's cute about you, or maybe he feels the same way. You say you guys don't know each other well enough. Just flat out tell him one day, "I don't know what to talk about sometimes because I'm afraid I'll sound stupid."

Insecurities are a derivative of fear. That is to say, you're insecure because there is some fear behind your insecurity. For me, I don't like to open up because I'm afraid the real me isn't good enough. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm good enough. Try doing that. Maybe write on your mirror "[YOUR NAME] You're Amazing!" It sounds cheesy, but it totally works for me and everyone I've advised to do the same. Sorry my response was so long. If you need any relationship advice, leave me one in my inbox. Take care and good luck love. Keep me posted. -Angel

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how do i know if i like a guy? like. . . i cant tell the difference because i might have a crush on my best friend. OR do i just see him as my best friend, because i cant tell. i get excited to see him and im also anxious to talk to him. but sometimes i ignore him too. i dont know, i just wanted to hear your guys opinions. any stories of your own experiences? =)

it could go either way, you could like him or he could just be your best friend. ultimately i think hormones play a big part in this one. I have definitely at one point fallen for almost all of my best guy friends, somehow. my personal opinion; i think you might kinda like him. but i could be totally wrong.

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my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half and i think he is getting sick of me. he is very controlling and he isnt the greatest .. i have had more than one occasion where someone has told me he has cheated on me. i believe him when he says its not true. he doesnt like that i have guy friends so i dont have any but he has tons of friends who are girls and it doesnt even phase him that it upsets me. he has lots of girls numbers including one of the girls who told me they hookedup. another girl who was trying to get with him calls alot. he says he loves me but he treats me like shit. im a good girlfriend i do everything for him i love him. but still even if he messes up i get yelled at if i confront him .. everything is my fault even if i catch him lying he gets mad if i was snooping and says i need to give him his privacy and that i have no right to check his stuff. he says i need to trust him more but how can i when he has hurt me so much in the past and how am i supposed to trust him if i catch him lying all the time. he calls me names like slut when he gets mad and he calls me crazy. and he apologizes when we stop fighting and he doesnt seem to understand its not right. ive forgiven him many many times and he just doesnt seem to take me seriously. he doesnt think i will dump him he thinks hes irraplacable (lol) but hes not. he treats me like just some chick .. im not some chick after a year and a half. he should be treating me like a princess not like a maid. please help

Well then don't act like you deserve to be treated like that. When he starts calling you names... start calling him names. You don't need someone like that, but if you're really trying to make this work, give him a taste of his own medicine. Have your guy friends start calling more often especially when he's around.. he'll get concerned, and when he asks about it you can say something like "maybe they see the way you treat me.." If he starts yelling at you && calling you names then tell him to leave, if he doesn't leave, then you leave, you don't have to be with him. Me and my boyfriend argue a lot about the same kind of things, but in our hearts we both know that we really want it to work. So maybe talk to your boyfriend about that, if he didn't care about you, he wouldn't bother staying with you for that long. So talk to him, maybe show him how you feel if you can't tell him, there's no easy way to go about doing any of this, so just be careful and good luck. keep me posted. -Angel

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commit mean

I like to think of commit as like you signed up for something that you have to do... for example.. you commit to a relationship.. you signed yourself up for a relationship && you have to comply with that person && grow w// them && their wants && needs.. it's a hard word to explain but i hope i helped regardless. -Angel

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There is this boy and he liked me for awhile and I liked him and he would text and suddenly he stopped and he was ignoring me and I asked him if he still liked me he said no he found someone else.
But This girl he wasn't even going out with he just liked her a lot and he would meet up with her after school.
Well she has a boyfriend and I guess he never knew about it and so he texts me again rigt after school and he's starting to want to talk to me more.
Well I don't want to be some girl whos just there for him and I'm definately not waiting.
So maybe he found out that she has a boyfriend and he stopped going after her so hes back to me.
I'm not sure if thats the reason but its what it seems like

And I just need some advice about this.
?
thanks.

Well, I'm not sure what your question is exactly. But as for the guy, forget him. If he only turns to you when the girl of choice is unavailable, then what do you need him for? Maybe you guys would go out, maybe for a couple of weeks, and then girl of choice breaks up with her dude, then text-boy drops you like a sack of potatoes for "something better." You shouldn't want, or even like someone that would choose "something better" over you. You're better than that, you need to find a guy who will make you his number one, or maybe he will just find you. Hope I helped. -Angel

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What do you do if you think two guys (both that you are friends with) might like you?

Try to keep a distance from both of them until you know. Don't physically distance yourself from them, but lay off the flirting [if you're even flirting with them] and when the time comes, find a way to ask each of them if they like you. You don't have to be outright about it, like, "hey do you like me?" You say they're your friends, so you should know how to get that kind of information out of them. If they both like you, then go with whatever makes you happy, you don't have to do anything to please anyone in life, so make sure you're happy. Good luck. -Angel

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i'm fifteen and i still haven't mastered making out. i need tips,

i mean i've made out plenty times
and i know HOW to
but i want to be like a good kisser

what do guys want a girl to do while their making out? what kind of tricks can i throw in there to spice it up :) please answer fast. thank you

Sorry I couldn't answer fast, but there could be a time difference involved. As far as making out, I know my boyfriend loves it when I suck on his bottom lip, or tongue, while were kissing. I personally hate it when guys move their tongue around too fast, or when they're too messy. So just go with the flow, it should really just come naturally, because being a good kisser isn't hard. Don't try to eat their face, and don't act like you don't know what you're doing or feel uncomfortable. Also, make sure you're both in a comfortable position and not try not to cover his nose so he can't breathe. Try to use your hands too, I like to grab my boyfriend's hair or make things hot and grab his face =] You should be fine. Good luck. -Angel

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I usually have a clear clomplexion but this morning i woke up and i had a huge pimple right in the middle of my forehead. It feels like it's a knot and it hurts sooo bad! How can I get it not to be sooo swollen and to clear up really fast I have a date tomorrow!

If you put ice on it, the size will go down. If you can't pop it [which you shouldn't] try to at least dry out the pimple with medicated lotion or one of my old fav's- toothpaste. Good luck on your date! -Angel

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i like this really cute guy. i talk to him but i want him to like me more. does anyone know any tricks on how to get the guy you like? ty 13/f

You have to be confident. Kind of play a role like, "well if you're not attracted to me then you must be the only one." And make sure to flirt with him, but don't over do it, and try to seem available, but make him wonder, be mysterious. It sounds kinda corny and weird, but try it out, if it's not your style, then try something else. Good luck. -Angel

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I want guys to look at me more. Guys tell me I'm really pretty, but I don't think I have the personality to go with it. I'm very loud and outgoing and sometimes I think I take it too far. How do I learn to hold it back and look less immature and annoying to guys? Thanks :)

Being charismatic does help when trying to talk to guys. But you should be a little mysterious or make them wonder a little bit to make things interesting for them. You also have to act like someone a guy would want, be super confident, but not too loud or crazy. The best thing to do though is to be yourself and to let the right guy find you. Good luck, hope I helped. -Angel

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I don't know if i'm depressed or not. When I'm at school with friends and stuff, I'm fine, but when i'm by myself, the only thing I want to do is cry. My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me, led me on, and left me again, and I think that's the core reason why I'm like this. What can I do to be happier? My friends never call me, and when I call them, they either are busy or something comes up. Someone help me please.

Make yourself very socially available. What I mean by this, for example, in my town, you can go to the movies and there will always be people there. Do something like that. If your friends don't call you and when you call them they're always busy, make new friends. It's not so hard, you just need a little change in your life to keep your mind off the boyfriend situation. Right now just focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Life is what you make it, so the only way to be happy is to let yourself be happy, and to let yourself move on. Good luck. -Angel

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I just got my heart broken.he didnt reject me but i realized, he has no interest, which was a huge,hard step. i am trying to get over it as best i can,but its hard because hes about to ask out one of my best friends out and we hang alot with him. He uses me all the time and still sends me mixed signals, which i now know ( as much as it hurts) they r not mixed he is just breaking my heart every time he does it. I need to get over him. Im becoming deppressed and i just cant live with it anymore. i need a way out. i cant keep this up and all i want to do anymore is live and be happy again. please help

When you're crazy about someone, breaking up is always hard. I went through heartbreak myself not too long ago, and there is no specific remedy to cure a broken heart. Everyone does something different to ease the situation, I would say, take some time and spend it on yourself. Maybe take yourself out to ice cream [as lame as it sounds, it helps] or do your makeup really cute with a really cute outfit and hang out with your friends. The less you think about this guy and how he broke your heart, the easier it is to move on. I can tell you that if I were to think about my heartbreak, I would still tear up. My best advice to you is to have more "Me Time" and do the things you love to do. Good luck, keep me posted. -Angel

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i had a crush on a guy thats treated me like shit for a year & a half now. im guessing it's best to get him out of my life, but he thinks telling me to kill myself is a funny joke & i should learn to lighten up. "/ i started ignoring him, which is working, but im wondering if i did the right thing. cause right now i feel miserable & like i will never find a guy that treats me with some kind of respect.

When it comes down to it, you really did do the right thing, anybody that makes you feel bad about yourself is nobody worth your time. You will find someone that will treat you with respect and you'll make a great partner for someone because you'll appreciate the way they respect you. I know that since I started dating, I went from the worst guy, up the scale, and now I think my boyfriend's the best in the world for me. So don't be down on yourself because of what this guy said to you, you will be so happy one day that you wont even remember what a creep that guy was. And you did the right thing. -Angel

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