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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
23/f
I've been with my boyfriend for quite some time. The only thing is that I moved out of state. I'm a flight attendant so I just would go visit on my days off.
Anyways, I feel like whenever I ask him to visit, he doesn't seem anywhere near excited and tells me reasons why he can't come visit. He's on my flight benefits so money isn't an issue.
Before he was in school, so I never asked him to visit. I was completely understanding and wouldn't want to take him away on his only days off.
He's done with school now. Just looking for work.
One time I asked him and he just plainly said he wasn't feeling good. So I was fine with that and flew there instead.
Another time he said he'd think about it, and didn't tell me until the day of that he wasn't coming. So I flew there.
Another time I told him if he wants to visit on my birthday, it's no big deal but he can if he wants. I asked him again and he said he made plans to help his friend pack up his house because I said it was no big deal. I shouldn't have said it was no big deal but I thought he'd want to spend my birthday with me.
Then he did visit me. I did have to feel like I was pulling his leg.
And last week I asked him to visit me today but he said he needs to buckle down and try harder on applying for jobs online. I told him he can come here and apply online. He said he he wants his dad to help him and he'll back back at the end of this week. He'd be going back at the end of the week so I didn't understand.
I'm just getting tired of flying back there on my days off. I want my days off to really be my days off. I live in the sky, I don't need to fly on my days off. Besides that, he lives with his parents so it's not the greatest. I'm glad his parents are okay with him living there while he looks for a job with his degree but if he's not working, why can't he see me more?
When we're together it's amazing. When he has visited, it was so much fun and he loved it.
This time I didn't fly back. I'm thinking just don't go back and if he really wants to see me, he'll come here?
I talked to him and every time he had his reasons for not visiting. I know he doesn't like flying. Complains about TSA and he gets motion sickness. He'll take meds though.
But I mean he's dating a flight attendant..I'm just tired of me always flying back and I've told him.
Any other ideas besides just simply not going back? Is there anything else I can say to him?
It makes me feel like he doesn't miss me. He'll assure me he does but always has reasons for not visiting.
I hate to say this but it sounds to me as if you are traveling all over the country and maybe the world while he is at home possibly finding companionship closer to home. If t is possible I would check to see if he is using your flight benefits without you. If so that should be an indication he has an interest closer to home.
His excuse of looking for jobs on-line is a bit lame. I know this is the 21st century and things are done on-line more and more, still there is no replacement for wearing out some shoe leather ad visiting the places you might like to work and applying in person. You need a really outstanding resume to get pick for an on-line application. Where applying in person shows initiative. If he is just using on-line applications he is showing me a lack of initiative.
If I were you I would cancel his flight benefits and start looking at some of the good looking young First Officers you are flying with. For one thing you know their future earnings potential and you can see their work ethic and how they spend their layovers.
This guys constant excuses are telling me his interest in you is not what it use to be.
(Rating: 5) Thanks. He hasn't been using my benefits. His parents say he hardly leaves the house.
You're probably right about moving on. Thank you.