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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

I'm a virgin and all of my sexual fantasies include an element of BDSM. Is this normal?

Yes you’re normal. It does not mean you find BDSM sexually exciting it does not mean you want to practice BDSM sex. There are many different fetishes within the sexual norm from BDSM to Spanking. Watching porno films of a particular fetish does not mean one wants to practice that fetish. The same is true with fantasies. Many women have rape fantasies. This does mean they want to be rapes or in any way forced to have sex against their will.

There are and maybe you will at some point what to try and live your fantasy. You may find you may like some form of BDSM or as most do find the fantasy is better than reality.

The advice I give to everyone when they start having sex is this. Sex is a learned experience. Yes the mechanics is inbreed but learning about your partners likes and dislike is something that needs to be discussed before you commit to a long term sexual relationship. Sex is also a 50/50 relationship where no means NO and stop means Stop. Communication between partners is very important. Don't just do something and see his reaction. Find out first and if he says yes then do it. If he says stop while you’re doing it you stop. It works both ways if he asks you to do something and you say yes but as you get into it you find you don't like it or it’s painful and say stop he has to stop.

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(Rating: 5) thanks for your insights- I'mrelieved to hear it's normal
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