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June 18, 2009Answers:
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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
im 22yrs will turn 23 next june. i am an average guy to the core.. like really average that goes or my looks to spirit. still living with my parents because no balls to move out. i attempted college but couldn't even finish the first year. i want to do IT or Cyber security i do find that interesting. but im not that smart or rather i know im very lazy just not willing to care enough to try my best. though i took 4 attempts at college and the last term i attend i couldn't handle it so i just stopped showing up. so i failed and my gpa went from 3.0 to 1.4. i dont think i can get financial aid anymore because of it... my parents cant help but want to help as much they can. i cant do that to them my father works 75-80hrs a week and my mother works 40 i have two little sister age 16 and 10... with that said yeah we are not poor but live a hard life. my parents never take time for themselves and i feel like worthless son... i love them so much. i attempted to work and help and college ... but all that i failed at....i really gave an effort but i work or go to college for few months then i feel so much pressure .. fear... anxiety that i cant take it and i quit. i have friends who are doing good now and try to help but i dont want that...i wanna be independent but i dont know how i can be. most of the time i rather be left alone i dont always like to hang with my friends i rather be on my room.. yeah iknow in my comfort zone...pathetic.
things i want ...
i wanna get my BS but dont know how i can pay for it. cant do much with a $9hr wage. only jobs i can get are with that pay rate.
i wanna move out. so my parents have one less kid to worry about and feed even tho its 22yrs old.
have my BS use it to get decent job.. i dont need a a lot of money i just want a comfortable life where i can help myself and my parents.
with alll this in my head i still dont know where to start what to do .. how to do it .. how to pay for college..can i get over my laziness or my anxiety and get my head out of my a@@ and get to work?
hate on this... tell me i am a loser or give me advise anything is appreciated.
I think the first thing you need to do is get help with raising yourself esteem. Frankly I see a lot of me in you. When I was your age I had the same problems . Four years in the Air Force made a big difference in my life especially when I exceeded my own expectations and was promoted to the rank of SSGT in just over 3 years. My shop chief almost died when I walked in with 4 stripes on my sleeve as no one he knew ever got promoted to SSGT in under 4 years. In the morning the Colonel came into the control room and explained I was promoted on merit at his request.
Now I'm not recommending you sign up for the military there is an easier and better way to go about raising one's self-esteem. Living with your parent's allows for you to use one of theirs EAP programs to meet with a psychologist who will help you raise your self-esteem. Most programs allow for a certain amount of visits them their health insurance kicks in.
No one plans on being a losers it is something that happens to them. Generally speaking it happens over time from being bullied or being told over a period of time that you will never amount to anything. One of my sons teachers once told us we should teach him to flip burgers for that was all he was qualified for. Today he is a firefighter/paramedic and was she surprised when he showed up at her school for a medical emergency. Of course she know takes all the credit for how he turned out. Like me the military gave him the self-esteem he was missing.
A qualified psychologist can help you gain the self-esteem you are missing. Once you feel better about yourself you will have the confidence to return to school.
Anyone capable of a 3.0 is not dumb so learning is not the problem. Laziness and anxiety can be helped as I have suggested. Of course if your so inclined there is nothing wrong with the military either on active duty in the Guard or reserves.
Once you get the self-esteem under control you should also look at the technical trade schools for the area you are interested in. There are many fine schools that can train you for those areas and get you working faster than if you went to college.
(Rating: 5) Thank you. I have been to a psychologist who understood,and gave helpful advice.I ended up not being able to pay for that twice a month visit so had to cut it. After reading your response, and looking more into the Guard. I do feel thats exactly what i need to be disciplined, and possibly help my self-esteem. Thanks again i am not just saying that i do mean it. Right now time is just being wasted by me being lazy. National Guard feels like a good way to start my life.