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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.

The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.

advice

female 13

Okay so i am in a "relationship" with a guy and he is sweet and everything, and i really like him like a lot.....but he is so shy and no matter how hard i try to break him out of that barrier he just stays in it. We have really only been on 1 date (and that's because at a school field trip we spent the whole time together by ourselves talking and all this other stuff, and it was really fun and all but that is all i really got. i have invited him to sooooo many things, but every time i invite him to something,he is a no show or has some lame excuse. Now many people say i am a flirty person and i am trying hard to dial it back a lot. And i have generally focused my time on him. But i recently broke my phone and i dont have my phone numbers from my phone.. SO i tried to get a hold of him via socail media on my sisters phone, i asked him to get a certain online texting app so i can text him and he said he didnt have enough storage...That kind of hurt me because shouldn't boyfriends do anything to keep in contact with their "girlfriends". So feeling a little neglected by him, my feelings are kind of draining but i am trying SO hard to keep this relationship going. I was going to break up with him but he begged for another chance and i gave it to him. Anyways, so since my feelings are slowly draining, i have sort of strayed, there is this guy at my church and he is sooooo cute. we both have feelings for eachother but i am not trynna be a cheater. The guy from my church pays a lot of attention to me and i feel like my body is pushing me towards him because he is giving me that attention that my "boyfriend" is not giving me. When i hear my "boyfriends" name i smile quickly and just think about how cute he is.. and how his shyness is kind of holding him back. But then i think of how i am trying way harder than he is and that is not how relationships work. When i hear the guy from my churches name, i smile for a while just because of the attention he gives me and how he seems so interested, i am not trynna be a cheater so i have never acted on anything with the church guy. I just need help because i dont wanna dump my "boyfriend" for another guy because that would be a shitty thing to do. But i also dont want my boyfriend to be giving in less than i am in this relationship. Anyone who can understand this and can help me please do because i really need it

Your 13 at the very beginning of your teenage years. Even though your writing show you to be very mature. At this point in your life you should not be in the type of relationship you write about. I know from others that this seems to be the norm today and I don't understand the rush to be in a relationship. It appears if you don't have a steady boyfriend and you have become a teenager then your an old maid.

Your teenage years are a time you should be exploring life, expanding your horizons, spreading your wings. Doing things with others maybe some silly things, we all did them. Get to know many people and find out just what makes us different from one another. You need to date many different boys. In my day it was called playing the field. We dated in and out of our circle of friends. Yes we went steady, as it was called and most of those relationships lasted a few weeks to a few months.

Of all my friends only one married from within our group of friends as young teenagers and they really did not get together until after we all graduated from High school. The rest of us after High School went our separate way off to college or the military we met new people made new friends and married people we met after high school. Few of us have stayed in touch with each other since leaving high school as our lives and interest have changed.

This will be the same for you as you grow through the teenage years and go off to college. My advise is if the relationship with this one guy is not working then go ahead and see what dating the church guy will be like. This is what teenage life is all about. Not every relationship is going to workout but you learn something from each.

Just don't be a snob and look to date the popular guys, the ball players or the ones who could be models. There are some really great guys who don't fit that mold that you need to get to know.

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(Rating: 5) thank you so much, this has really helped me out and has really changed my perception on how i should handle this situation
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