Gender:
MaleMember Since:
June 18, 2009Answers:
8136Last Update:
May 26, 2019Visitors:
138375Favorite Columnists
karenR
AyyItsKristen
Erinn_the_bamf
Xui
storageanddisposal
lvr
Smartone
bewise
GradingCurve
anonymous99
HildaJrCarter
more...
Main Categories:
General Sex Questions
Abusive Relationships
Cooking
View All
about
My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
advice
I'm 20 but my mum will still call me 'princess ' and 'honey blossom' in public sat if we're out shopping.
Also she likes me to come home every weekend when I'm at uni and she has to call me at set times during the week which is awkward because often it's on evenings and I have plans to go out or I'll be at a bar when she calls!
She hates me spending much time anywhere else and acts off with me -think she's jealous. She has to know my whereabouts always and suggests curfews saying 'it won't take you and '*friend* 5 hours to look round the shops ' etc.
She even takes time off work to take my sister to job interviews. I love her and really don't want to hurt her but I'm sick of being treated as a child!
I have made steps to progress... when she calls me baby names I'll respond in an adult off sounding way . And I'll rearrange these calls for later in the evening (really I'd rather she never called at all)
What can I do? My dad who lives with us treats me like an adult !
I'm not sure if mom is having trouble cutting the apron strings or if she is a bit of a controller. Either way you have to declare your independence from her or it will be this way for the rest of your life. Something that could cause problems later when your married as well.
Pet names can be troubling as well during an emergency as well. Now this doesn't apply to you hopefully but is a good example of how a pet name can be bothersome during an emergency. I was a member of a rescue Squad when we received a call for a woman who had overdosed. We were finally able to get her to concentrate and answer questions when in swarms her entire family calling her by several pet names. The woman just shut down and stopped talking. We found out later at the hospital that she hated these pet names and in fact was the reason for the overdose. When time is of the essence you can't be calling someone by a name that puts them off.
You and your sister need to have a discussion with your mother. Use my story, adjust as need be to fit what you want to say, when talking to her. You have to impress upon your mother that you are no longer a child. That while you love her she must allow you to lead your own life. You will call her when you can and she should call you if she has an emergency or at a time each week you and she agree upon like Sunday morning.
Your sister should insist on this too if she is of legal age even if she is living at home. If she is not of legal age then she needs with your help to explain to mother that she needs some space to spread her wings and prepare to be an adult. Part of parenting is helping a child be ready to take his or her place within adult society. This includes cutting the apron strings when a child becomes and adult.
If mom is not having trouble cutting the apron strings but is in fact a controller. Then expect to have to repeat this conversation many times. When she calls at inconvenient times answer the phone and ask if this is an emergency. If she say no or starts in with questions as to where you are or why you are not at home. Say mom this is not the time for this conversation. we can talk on Sunday and hang up. Yes it is rude but it is the only way to get the message across to a controller. IF she calls back let the call go to voice mail.
(Rating: 5) Thanks for this great advice