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My column is dedicated to telling it like it is. I will always give you the best information available to me or the best advice I can. I will be upfront and never hide the truth from you.The one thing I will not do is you homework. I will try and point you towards the answer or help you find the answers you looking for. Ultimately you will have to find the answer yourself.
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Hai. So I'm Leah and I'm a 13 year old. I'm female by birth but am genderfluid. So I recently became friends with a girl who I sit next to in maths, she's really nice and funny and very pretty, and we have almost exactly the same interests. We've been friends for a few weeks and have gotten on really well. A couple of days ago I came out as bisexual and genderfluid, and it turns out that she is also bisexual and gender-questioning. She hasn't been in a relationship before, but I would out that she has a crush on/ is in love with her best friend. She has already told her best friend and her best friend was kind about it but didn't return her feelings, and she had accepted this. I really like this girl, and I want nothing more than to be in a relationship with her. I know it'll be best to wait a bit, and get to know her better and all that- but is there any possibility we could ever be together? And if so, any advice on how to make her like me more or drop hints about my feelings?
Thanks for answering, Leah. xxx
Would you young people please slow down and take the time, to in a manner of speaking, smell the roses. What is the hurry to stick labels on yourself especially ones your peers will not understand and could possibly hurt you because of it.
You are 13 just entering your teens and in the early stages of puberty. It is absolutely normal for any teenager, boy or girl, to be sexually interested in someone of the same sex. It does not mean you are genderfluid or bisexual. What it means is you are exploring your sexuality just as your mom and dad and grandparent have done before you.
Bisexual and genderfluid are somewhat synonymous as a person switched between sex with both genders. At 13 years of age and having no sexual experience there is no way you can say for certain exactly what your sexuality is or will be. TO have feelings for someone of the same sex is natural and part of learning about your own sexuality. You may very well become a bisexual and there is nothing wrong with that. Just wait until you are older, 16, 17 or 18 and have actually experienced sex with both genders. Then you can identify your sexuality.
Today by declaring your sexuality you are doing yourself great harm. You friends in school are not enlightened enough to understand anything more about bisexuality other than they believe it is part of gay sex. Teenagers can be very hard on those they believe to be homosexuals and can even cause them physical harm.
My advice is to rescind the label. Continue to explore your sexuality and after you have actually experienced sex then make a determination on your sexuality. But slow down on when to have sex as well for right now you are far too young to do more than engage in heavy petting.
(Rating: 2) I appreciate you answering but I'd have to disagree, considering I've felt this way (genderfluid) for over 4 years I'm sure this isn't going to change. And again I'm 100% sure about my sexuality, because your sexual preference is something you're born with not something you choose to be. Also I've recently turned 14 so I'm not 13. And I'm completely open and everyone has been nothing but nice to me, I am fortunate enough to have not encountered anyone who has been horrible regarding my gender or sexual preference. Lots of people at my school have come out as non-straight and not their born gender. And what if I'm asexual? What if I never want to engage in sexual acts but am still happy to be in a romantic relationship, who you're interested in doesn't have to be based off of having sex with them- when I asked this question I asked if I had a shot with her, and how to make her like me more or drop hints about what I'm feeling- not wether it's dangerous to come out or wether I'm wrong about my gender and sexuality- so again thank you for answering and taking some of your time to try and help me, I do appreciate that- I just have a strong opinion about this and disagree with your response.