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Did you ever wake up and wonder when your life became a soap opera? A bizzare mixture between 'Dawson's Creek' and 'Days of our Lives'?



I know I've had that feeling - that it's just all too dramatic and ridiculous, and wouldn't it be nice to go and under a nicely-furnished rock for a while? So, whilst I do not promise or claim to be an expert on how teenage boys minds work or how you can uncode your best friend's baffling behaviour, I'll always attempt to empathise and offer some honest words of advice.



I am 21, with a fairly dysfunctional life as a artsy student type. I've recently graduated with a degree in Philosophy, and am spending time working in the law before returning to university for further study. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, but I like where I am at the moment. I like shoes, bad television, chocolate cheescake and pretty things.



I am very busy at the moment, attempting to fund my life as a postgraduate (that's grad school to the Americans). I do still stop by quite a lot to help out with the admin stuff, but my column is pretty lame and inactive. Boo-hiss. I will however still endeavour to answer any questions that are sent my way, so feel free to send questions to my inbox.





Frequently Asked Questions


Actually, I made them up. But they are questions that I've seen more than once around this site (and, indeed, in the real world), and so have created general responses to them, linked below. It's a little sparse at the moment, but I'll be adding to the list as I think of more questions (and, er, answers to them).



Getting back together with an ex



Difficulty preparing for exams

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hailebop





Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student
Age: 21
Member Since: December 30, 2003
Answers: 455
Last Update: June 7, 2009
Visitors: 55160


Advicenators.com



Hey I'm a guy and was just wondering...should age matter in a relationship? What's your point of view on this one, like does it matter if both are close in age or far apart...by far I mean less than 5 years or so. Thanks in advance, will rate.


A lot of people will tell you that age doesn't matter. There have been far crazier matches then teenagers dating somebody a few years older or younger than them.

Age gaps become less and less of an issue with age. 4 years is nothing when you are 40, but when you are twenty it might feel like a lot and it's and even bigger gulf when you are fourteen or fifeen.

I feel like a massive hypocrite when I answer questions like this because my answer is always caution caution caution, but I myself am happy in a relationship with a man 6 years my senior. Age gaps are not the barrier to happiness I once thought they were, but age certainly is a factor and something you should think about before diving into a relationship with somebody who is significantly older or younger than you.

People who are significantly older or younger than you are likely to be of a different maturity level than you, and you might find that difficult. They may well be in a different position financially, emotionally, or just want different things in their life at that moment, such as family, career, or just hving fun.

One of the biggest problems that can face age-gap relationships is that the two people are in different places in their lives. If you are a university student dating somebody who works full time, they are at a different stage in their life with a completely different set of responsibilities and, possibly, interests. If your partner is in a different life stage, whether it be it school to university, university to working, casual work to serious career work or enjoying your youth to parenthood... these things will become tension points at some point. Not tension points that you can't get over, but things that will come up. If you really like somebody and are prepared to work on the relationship then go for it, but I wouldn't advise getting into a relationship where one party is significantly older unless both parties have thought it through beforehand.

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