Sorry it's long, but please try to help.
This might be confusing, so if it is, sorry. But this girl I've known since 6th grade,(I'm now a freshman, grade 9) Brittany, and have had classes with since 7th, and became friends with this year, well her mom had a tumor in her eye. And Brittany's mom had it removed about a week ago. And she had to have her head shaved because they were doing surgery going through her head. Well, lately Brittany has been getting upset a lot in class, and I want to try to cheer her up, and make her happy, but her mom might be dying because the surgery didn't go to well, she's recovering, but not the best way possible, so I have a few questions.
1.) What can I say to her to comfort her, she knows I give advice, and a lot of times she asks me, but when it comes to a personal friend, it's hard
2.) This really weird teacher that none of us like who is a lesbian (not saying that's bad, but... it's weird w/ what she's been doing) Well, she, w/o Britt's permission, told the whole class about Britt's mom, and Britt ran out crying, and we didn't know how to comfort her. And then that teacher gave Britt her cell phone number, and was like call me, and don't leave a message, keep calling until you reach me, so I was wondering, is that okay for a teacher to do that? None of us like her, and Britt said she asked 2 teachers about it, and they said it wasn't normal, but Britt does tend to over exaggerate, or lie about things (she's really popular, and does whatever she can to boost the popularity, I didn't like her until this year b/c I always thought she had a perfect life and was concieted, b/c she's really rich and stuff, but now that I've gotten to know her, I've realized why she acts that way.)
3.) We're only 14, and freshman in high school. I don't associate with her that much outside of school, unless it's at a game, or if we see each other at the mall, like I don't invite her to the mall with me and my friends, but if we see each other, we talk, and/or walk around w/ each other. So please, help me try to comfort her, and is it right for that teacher to be doing what she's doing? What can I do to help, or what can I say. Also are there any gifts I could give her for x-mas that might make her feel better, or might make her laugh, or smile? I'm not trying to be weird, or act gay, but it's been so long since I've seen her smile, and it's been so long since I've heard her laugh. She's cut her wrists in the past, and I don't want her to use self-harm again, and I'm afraid about with what's going on with her mom, she might go farther than just cutting her wrists.
Oh, and about the whole teacher thing, we don't know how that teacher found out, Brittany didn't say anything to her, we figure she must've overheard Britt telling one of us. Please, any help would be appreciated! And if you're one of those people that like to leave sarcastic, or rude advice, I could do with a good laugh, so make it funny. Thanks in advance for all the help. And again, sorry it's so long.
Before I begin... I would like to thank you for asking the best question I've ever seen on this site. It's well thought out and articulated, and my pleasure to answer.
1) I know it's hard being blunt and realistic with a friend. It's much easier when it's someone you don't know or don't necessarily care about. You just need to force yourself to do it, because it is very important for her at this time that you do.
2) Firstly, your teacher had no right to announce that to the class. That is the most horrible thing I've ever heard. I would go to higher school administration and tell them about this. And as for your teacher giving Brittany her phone number, I don't think that was in any way sexual. She knows that Brittany is going through hard times, and wants her to have someone to talk to for advice or support when she needs it. She's only trying to help out.
3. To make her better, I don't think bombarding her with extra attention is the best thing to do at the moment. The extra attention she got from her teacher caused her to run out of the class. You can talk to her casually, I wouldn't do anything especially kind, until maybe Christmas, because in her fragile state she may take it the wrong way.
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(Rating: 5)thanks a lot, you and storage were probably the most help
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