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Q: HELP! how much money should i give my friend for her Sweet 16 tonight?

if it's a best friend: 25-35 bucks... if it's not.. 16 (hah makes sense right?) but throw in a stuffed animal or box of chocoaltes or gift certificate to even it out.

Q: ive been with my boyfriend for just a week or so and he wants to have sex, and i want to too...and he told me he loved me but i dunno to belive him or not, what do i do?

woah woah woah.. back the truck up here! a week and he's already said he loves you? uhhh i think you're going just a little too fast here now. sex is a BIG thing and a week is definately not long enough.. even if you two are soul mates in the end.. hah.. saying that you two are.. how will another few MONTHS change that?

Q: okay, i have this REALLY good guy friend named "jon"..hes in my grade we have 3 classes together, hes totalllly gorgeous..he just got outta a 9 month relationship about a month agO..he was inlove with that girl and naturally he prolly isnt over her yet and still is inlove with her..she lives like 45 mins away from where we live though..anywayz so me and jon ALWAYS flirt with eachother, act like brother and sister, punch eachother, etc, ya know like flirty stuff like that..we ALWAYS talk bout our problems with eachother, etc..i never ever thought that he would eveer like me cause we are so close friends but then his cousins gf told me that she asked him if he liked me and he said, "yeah i do actually..but im not gunna do anything about it cause i dont want our friendship to get ruined"..i thought that was so sweet of him to say...im kinda stuck cause i like him too..should i just continue on being really good friends? or should i bring out that i like him?

bring out that you like him that you two should go out and that the risk of ruining the friendship is a risk he'll just have to take. tell him it's great that he's worried about the freidnshp like that but remind him that you two are good together and thta plenty of other relationships have survived the aftermath and stil remained friends (like me.. i am freinds with every single former boyfriend i've ever had). ask him why you two should ignore something that could be so great just because of a risk you know he knows you two can surive (haha sorry if i threw you off on that last tongue twister there)

Q: i really need help see i can't get in front of people to present a project in front of my class i start sweating and feel like throwing up and i can't breath and everytime i go up to present a project everybody could see that i am nervous because the way my voice sounds if anybody could give me good advice i really really need it or i will be stuck like this forever. i rate high help a person that is in need PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!

hmm.. well if it's possible you can try a class that we people have down here called communication application.. or you can try to improve on yourself. you can talk infront of a mirror and gradually build up your confidence.. doesnt realy work for most poeple (like me) but you can try to imaine poeple are in their undies when you present.. or find something to concentrate when you present.. so that you dont realy focus your attention on everyone else... just remember.. gradual steps.. not big leaps. and you're not alone.. you're definately not goign to be stuck like this forever.. a lot of poeple have presenting anxiety or presenting problems. if this really bugs you talk to someone about it.. they might be able to help better than myself. goodluck

Q: ok, i named the brown puppy Brownie, i named one of the black ones Walker, cuz its always walking around, and i named another black one Tiny, cuz its the smallest of the litter...there are still two unnamed black ones who are fat and always together, as if their twins....any ideas for THEIR names?

blackie and wackie.. haha just kidding

how about shadow and phantom?

Q: 15/f and my brother is 11 he's similar to autistic. he gets so frustrated. if he doesnt get his way he'll freak out. when we fight he attacks me, pulls my hair, bites me, and tries to suffocate me. MY PARENTS ARE NO HELP. they dont even disipline him. he's SO FAT and my parents LET him sit in front of the tv all day and eat. he talks back to them and they dont even care. he doesnt wash himself and they LET him go to school smelling like SHIT. he CAN tie his shoes but my mom does it FOR him. he cant wipe his own ass without getting poop all over the bathroom. **DONT TELL ME THAT THEY SHOULDNT BE DISPLINING HIM JUST BECAUSE HES RETARDED** how is he supposed to get thru life? i cant deal with it anymore. someone help.

he's 11.. so he should be starting middle school.. and if he keeps this kind of lifestyle middle school and highschool will deeply affect him in many negative ways.. you need to tell your parents about this and talk to them over and over until either their ear falls off or they actually understand the hell they're putting you through and how badly they'll screw up their son's life if they don't intervene in this. it's great they want to protect him but it's not great to BABY him.. he IS 11 and he can tie his own shoes and etc.. but they need to fix this right away. if worst comes to worst seek mental help.. like a therapist or pychiatrist. but middle school with either influence his impudent behavior and make him like a convict when he grows up or beat him way down and make him a hateful person when he grows up. again.. make your parents aware of how overweight he his and how abusive he can be.. dont' let that little twerp do that to you! next time he tries to sufocate you kick him where the sun dont' shine!

Q: ok ..im 14/f and one of my best friends is 14/m..he doesnt go to my school...although lives in the district and i seem him here and there...hes been askin me how to ask a girl out..and i kept telling him to be himself..he just wont listen to me on that part advice...and he kepts telling me to put myself in that position..and i said "no" then he said "well its not hard 4 u ur a girl" and i said "its hard 4 us as well..bc we have to turn down guys we dont like"..and i dk how to tell just to be himself..bc he wont listen to that...and he a few days ago he asked me "how do i ask a girl out and not get turned down??"..and im like idk its not something predictable...and he goes to a private school..and i go to public school..so i have no clue who this girl is..if i did ..i would have asked her if she liked him..but i dk ....so im pointless at this point...im suppose to go to the movies see him later today w/ one of our best friends..who goes to my school..who used lived down the street from him...so can u help me? -thx in advance *i rate*

hmm... well instead of just repeatedly telling him be yourself.. be more specific.. like tell him to listen to a girl's feelings and thoughts and be there for her phyically and mentally and etc etc ya know? like list specific things and examples (b/c most likely he'll ask you for examples of how and when to do that). eventually the guy will get the basic idea of who and what he should be like.. (which should omg.. ironically.. be himself! lol) hope i helped! and goodluck at the movies today.

Q: I have short legs which look even more stumpy with my fat calves . i know i can't do anything about the length of my legs , but how do i get my calves smaller ?i don't wear skirts anymore ,cuz it's embarassing .my thighs are fine , but my calves are really rounded and fat . not muscular . FAT > please help !

umm i kinda can understand.. im a little short for my height (ok fine i'm pretty short) lol.. and yeah it sucks sometimes looking at those pretty girls with their mile long legs =P. But then again i have really tone legs. Over the summer *school has started since early august for me* i ran alot just for casual fun or to get my mind off of problems at home and after like 2 weeks of running flat out around this park thing at my home (which one tiem around is like a mile and i run around it 3 times) i've got pretty musclar legs. And no it's not like those she-hulk kinda muscles haha.. only when i flex can you really tell that i work out.. i hope that that was what you were aiming for.. also you can work them out in gym's at your school or a local gym or club. but the best and cheapest way is running. hope i helped

Q: hey its X Lissa X ..Okay ive felt like crap all day. you know that feeling you get in your stomach when you havent ate anything all day or your really really hungry? well ive had it all day, even now and ive ate stuff too but it still wont go away and it HURTS! idk what could be wrong. does anyone know? and how cani stop it cuz i wont be able to sleep.. thanks a lot.

maybe something is bothering you subconciously and a natural reaction to it is your stomach pains. or it could just be a normal stomach ache and we all know waht solves that.. hehe...or maybe just in general you're in with some common stomach flu/virus. or it could be that maybe you ate TOO much? and now you're bloated? if none of these things sound correct then talk to your parents about it or check with your doctor if the pain persists. don't worry.. i bet it's nothing really. =]

Q: ok... i met this guy [we'll call him john] about a month ago, give or take. well we kissed and everything and he liked me and i liked him. but his ex came into the picture and hedecided tobe with her. he was mean to me becuz if he showed how he really felt, it would make him more confused. long story short, they broke up and me n him ended up together and thats how i found out y hewas so mean bc he todl me. ok well we broke up bc she came into the picture again. and now hes bein mean again. idk if he still lvoes me or not. and i dont kno if i should just give up n move on or stay around. ive tried gettin ova him but i see him in school everyday and its hard [him n his gf dont see eachother in school bc they live in different STATES] HELP PLEASE !!!!!

15.f.mi

ok this guy seems like an ass and i think he was just making up that story about oh baby if i think too hard about it then i get a headche so i just had to make it simple and be a fag to you.. dude tha's just gay.. he was just probably making that up to get you to trust him and like him again and make your relationship better.. in general.. dump him and move on becuase if his x can just swoop right into the picture like thta so easily once.. and again twice then it will happen again so don't give him that chance.

Q: can yall give me some tips on what i shouldnt do when im around a guy im dating or just friends with so they dont get mad or annoyed at me? thanks!

the only advice i can give you is to be yourself. i mean the guy is going out with you because you're you right? so why change that when you're with his or your friends. who knows..! they might actually like you! hahai'm TOTALLY kidding..! but forrizly seriously just be the best thing you can be.. yourself. and also.. these are your/his friends.. so no one can really tell you how to act. you've just gotta find your own "groove" (yeah i know i sound liek some weird hippy kid) and go with it. =] goodluck

Q: Ok, at school they want us to start thinking about what highschool we are going to go to, and a few people came in and talked about their school. I really liked this one school, and i told the rents about it and they forbid me to go there 1. to far away and the bus will be an extra 1,000 dollars and we dont hav alot of money 2. they just dont like the school!
Well my sister goes to this one school, and i went to school with her this one day its called shaddowing, and i absolutely hate it there and would be misserable if i went there, well thats the only school my parents will let me go to! But wait, thats not all of it... my cousin who is my age wants me to go to the highschool by him and i could move in with them, and leave my whole life behind, and i wouldnt want to do that, and it would make my cousin mad if i dont go there, and my parents said they would never talk to me again if i do. I am so congfused and lost. All my friends know what highschool they are going to go to, and all their parents dont care where they go! I dont know what to do, and i always cry now when ever someone mentions the word crying... help PLEASE!!!
Amber advice column name is shanberca
thank you plz answer this i really need help!

first of all : i know what it's like to A. have strict parents that raelly basically control your life even up to highschool... B. have to part with your friends just because of a gay ass highschool.. and C. being confused and lost and having to constantly choose sides.. now for your answer... you should try to really talk to your parents (i dont know them personally so i don't know what buttons you can actually push and etc) but try to talk to them and make them see this is really tearing you apart and that highschool is a really big deal to you. now for your cousin thing.. you guys are blood related and he/she should be able to forgive you for something as stupid as umm.. leaving your entire life behind just to go to school with him and have your parents pissed off. yeah.. doesn't really sound like a big deal to get mad at you anymore right? break it down to him/her and make him/her see that this is YOUR choice and that she/he will just have to support you. you should go to the school you want (and yeah i know its really hard to be strong like that when everyone else around you is like having the better end of the bargain with thier parents relationship and etc). hope i helped!

Q: i started my period in 4th grade (in 8th now) and its still irregular and this last 2months its worse like it wont come for 2 - 3 months then when it does it only goes for 2 days...whats wrong with me its been more then 2yr's?!?!

well to answer a semi- part of your question :

some times girls just have irregular periods and are just gentically made like that. err.. yeah i'm making girls sound like robots but i'm serious (lol ). some girls will have occasional irregular periods.. others dont.. and others just constnatly have irregular periods no matter what. You might want to talk to your mom and see how hers went when she was younger (or if she still goes through them). your family history may play a role in this. if not then you can consult your doctor and talk to her/him about it and see what information you can get out of puberty and all that great junk. also besides the theory that your periods just come irregulary..there are alot of factors that can determine when/how long your period comes. mainly (since you're an 8th grader) i'd say is stress... that can control when you have your periods and for how long. also how fit you are. sometimes girls that are really athletic say they barely even feel it or have them. don't worry.. you're not a "freak" or something.. i bet you a billion other girls have gone through what you're going through. :)

Q: i personally dont think it matters what people rate me because i think what i gave is good advice, plus i dont care if people have high ratings or not if i ask a question

so what is your opinion?

note: im not gonna rate you if you post here.

hm.. i dont really care either... i mean advice is an opinion.. you can either take it or not right? and it's not our place to judge if your opinion is incorrect so i don't get mad over rating stuff.. if you think i'm good at advice.. then yey.. if not uh well hope you get better advice from someone else =]!

Q: Hi,
I'm a 26 years female married from 3 years and a have a lovely happy family one baby boy.
I met a new colleague at work he sexually likes me and tried so many times to have some sexual relation with me,
After i refused so many times,i'm feeling that i'm getting along with him and i'm falling in love with him i can't stop thinking of him I want to be with him all the day.
I need your advice. what shall I do

Thank you
Bouba

even though you are happy at home with everything.. these feelings for this co-worker may just be a small feeling for something new and exciting..and erotic. of course it's natural to after a while get bored or tired of the same old routine. for the time being i suggest that you tell this guy to stop harrasing you (yes technically he is) and maybe get moved to another section or even another work in general. tell your husband upfront that he is bothering you. it's ok to think about straying but it's not ok to actually do it. you should stay faithful to your husband (especially now that you and him have a child). you can also look into counseling to see if there's anything you can do to spice up your marriage or keep you from thinking about this other guy. hope i helped.

Q: Well this is a record 2 problems from me in one night...
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 11 months. I'm 16, he's 18. We are having sex. Mom knows, but hates the fact and thinks he wouldn't stay with me if I told him I didn't want to have sex anymore, and I'm DYING to prove her wrong.
But the thing is, I don't really want to stop the sex because quite honestly, I like it. lol. Obviously he does, too, but I know he'd stay with me even if I did say I wanted to stop. Our relationship is based on pure love, not lust. (not to mention the fact that we're engaged. Mom doesn't know that, though. She won't know for about 3 or 4 years.) Mom doesn't believe he'd stay with me. I'm dying to prove her wrong, but that involves sacrifice on my part.
If I actually wanted to test him, I'd have to lie to him, and I don't want to lie to him...
What should I do? Should I test him and prove mom wrong, or just leave it alone?

ouch.. well i'm stil a virgin so i can't really sympathize with you on the whole sex is great feeling thing... BUT if you think your finace will be ok enough to accept the lie (after things are all said and done) then go for it.. it's ok to have a guilty conciounce about it becuase yeah you are lying to him but it's for a good cause right? lol. and maybe this might even help your mom see that he really does love you and it'll help when you break the news to her about your engagement.. it should somewaht help her see that you two are serious enough for this.

i have heard; however that sex does freel great and that it's very addicting.. but it won't be for that long right? and i'm sure you can last just a few weeks of not getting intimate right?

Q: I've been suffering from clinical depression for a few years, and recently started having panic attacks and mild hallucinations. The hallucinations are morbid (pools of blood, reaching hands, ect.) but clearly recognizable as they're so out of place. I don't want to see a psychologist or take medication. Is there a way to make your mind stay away from depressing thoughts or just clear it if things start getting hazy/weird?

ouch depression is a pretty serious thing. its good to know that you are aware that you have depression and that you are getting deeper and deeper into it. it usually takes people a very long time for that.. but anyways to your actual question:

depression is a very hard thing to conquer and it may not be very easy to just "think happy thoughts" and make it go away.. seeing how you do know that it is getting serious i really would consider seeing someone or getting some sort of medicine to help. not alot of people are really capable of getting better from even "simple" depression. if it's really not a good possibility to you then try hotlines or talking it out with good friends or people you trust (i do that alot and it's been keeping me from cutting or any of that stuff). i find that talking things out or just getting it out (like through a journal or such) really helps sometimes. unfortunately a hotline would most likely only tell you to get help as advice.. so i'd go for just normal talking to someone you trust or writing things out. hope i helped and best of luck.

Q: hEY! so i visited ur advicenators column and then clicked on ur xanga which was totally kick ass! but i was j/w i was on it 2day at like 8:15 MN time and u had a song playing on there that i really liked! what was it called and who is it by? and can u give me any other of ur fav songs? cuz it seems like u have good taste! LoL! tHaNx sO muCh!

hey.. aww thanks.. umm well i hvaen't changed my song in a long time so i'm assuming it's the same as it's always been unless it's changed.
but the song on my xanga should be:yellowcard - only one ((unless i've changed it.. if i did then sorry and tell me and ill figure it out :)))

umm.. i listen to like basicalyl everything but im mostly a punkish girl but these are like my favorite songs in the world:

Savage garden - truly madly deeply
Yellowcard-only one
Maroon 5- she will be loved
blink 182- i miss you
fall out boy - grand theft autumn
hoobastank - the reason
the ataris - in this diary
boxcar racer - there is
offspring - want you bad
matchbook romance - stay tonight

lol those songs should keep you entertained for a while! thanks again (hah i can't wait to rub it in my friends face that someoen thinks i have good music taste =P)

Q: there this boy in my school who i have the biggest crush. Sometimes i think he likes me too but i can never truly tell. I want to ask him out but i am sooo scared of being rejected! but i mean i will never know unless i ask...right!! give me advice!! please help!

lol you are right...

you live only once so who cares if for like a week you have to endure the odd akwwardness that follows after rejection.. and hey if he does liek you then that's great! but if he doesnt or if he does just a ltile then ther's something to build off to and get to his heart.. don't worry.. so many girls are afraid of rejection but you really may be missing out on something great so don't hold back! goodluck!

Q: well honestly i just feel like giving up on guys and its not like they dont like me they do but all the ones i want to like me either we "talk" and something happens and we dont work out or we date but only for a short period of time or they just like me as a really good friend or they like me but i dont like them like that. like all the guys lately that ive liked they dont like me as more than a friend .. tell me that im really pretty and dont act so like most girls and i have an awesome personality and im really sweet but they just dont think of me like that or they just dont want a gf right now. my friends tell me i shouldnt give up on them that i should keep looking but i jsut dont know bc i hate it when guys break my heart. im sorry this is sooo long! please help me!

haha sweetie EVERYONE has been in your shoes i promise you!

it took me like 3 years to get out of it but i did. you've probabyl heard it a billion times but HANG on! it'll get better.. you'l always have ups and downs and guys that reject you because of the "sister apperance" and guys that are just jerks that break your heart but in the end it's totally worth it.. love/guys is a huge fun and entertaining movie.. sure there are some plot holes here and there and some really gay scenes that are just randomly added in but the end of the movies are usually the best part right?

bio

this site has been down for a while but i'm starting it up again. i've been really busy with school work and other activities but now you can ask me questions again.

anyways about myself, i've gone through alot in my life and it's all made me stronger so i can relate to nearly any situation. i really love people. when i get older i do plan on doing something in this sort of field, maybe psychiatry. i'm currently a junior in highschool and i devote all of my time to either my friends, theatre, or school. yeah i'm sort of a nerd. if i can't get on here to reply to your questions and its urgent then you can always feel free to IM me on AIM and i'll try to help you on there. i'm basically always on.