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I've heard many times the "You'll know when you're ready" line. I was wondering, HOW do you know when you're ready to lose your virginity?

1. Know yourself - ask yourself if the situation "feels right" and if you really trust those feelings.
2. Know your would be partner - ask yourself how well you know the person you are thinking of being with and if you care for them and trust them.
3. Know your reasons - whatever your reason be sure it is worth giving something away that you will never get back.
4. Know how your parents feel about you having sex - you may need/want their support and confidence someday, make sure that you have it well in advance.
5. Know the risks - heart break, regret, pregnancy, STDs, and HIV (AIDS) can all happen the first time you have sex.

hOpe i HeLpeD! xOxO, aLeX

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This might be a stupid question, but does it hurt to have sex? Do you bleed?

just wondering

sex can hurt...Some girls don't experience pain the first time they have sex and others do. Everyone is different. Some girls bleed if their hymen has not yet been stretched open, others don't. A cherry usually refers to a girl's hymen — the thin skin that stretches across the opening of the vagina. There is usually an opening in it to let menstrual flow out of the body — and will let semen into the uterus. "Popping the cherry" refers to stretching the hymen during vaginal intercourse.
hope that helped!
xOxO, aLeX

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ok when you see people on tv they always have like glowing faces... like in the movie mean girls... i was wandering... where can you get stuff that looks like that shimmery or whatever? any suggestions? thanx
--i rate high--

I use skinlights.... its a revlon brand so you can buy it at target, walmart walgreens eTc... i use the powder in bronze color (iTs more shimmery) which i don't remember exactly what its called.... or the skin lights instant skin brighther in light pink. (its more glowey) my friends always tell me that i have such healthy looking glowing skin... its totally sexy... and makes you look glowey.... its about $10...but totally aWesome!
xOxO, aLeX

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i have a friend.. she's 5'9 and 127 pounds.. she's athletic and all, she lifts weights and plays vball all year around. recently her and her bf broke up and shes been really depressed. shes been losing sleep and she can barely eat.. she only eats like one thing a day. would she be considered anerexic ? and are there any other symptoms for it besides lack of eating ? anything is appreciated ! thank you

hEy! well i am very experienced with eating disorders... i know this website... where you type in the the weight and height and it will tell you your BMI i did your friends... and she is normal weight... but hardly... she might not be anorexic... but definately border line and definataly has eating problems.
symotoms:
Dressing to hide body shape (e.g. baggy clothes, layers)
Obsession with weight, calories and/or fat.
Frequent and long trips to the bathroom, often with running water, after meals.
Food rituals such as shifting food around, cutting food into tiny pieces, or keeping utensils from touching lips; hiding food.
Hair loss.
Pale or “gray” skin.
Frequent complaints of feeling cold.
Loss of menstrual cycle.
Bruised knuckles, bleeding in eyes, bruising under eyes or on cheeks.
Insomnia.
Being perfectionist.
Reading books or visiting websites on anorexia and or weight loss.
Visible food restriction, use of diet pills, laxatives, enemas or Ipecac, or dramatic weight loss.
Dizziness, headaches, or frequent sore throats.
Statements putting self down about being fat, eating, or about being worthless or stupid.
tHis is the BMI website: (to see if your normal weight or not) http://psychcentral.com/disorders/sx2.htm
tRy talking to your freind... find out whats really up.... but i hope i helped! ask me anything anytime!
xOxO, aLeX

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i am a 13 year old girl, and i got my period for the first time today. i don't know how to tell my mom. any advice?

Your mom went through this too.. it may seem embarresing... but she was the one who hAd yOu.. just casually inform her that you've started your period... be like hey mom (when shes alone)... ummm i think i have my period.. and tell her what you'll be needing.... (if you perfer tampons... eTc) she will be wowed that her "little girl" is now a womaN! good luck hUn!
xOxO, aLeX

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what's the best way to get word out about a club? even if it is a slightly academic one? it's a lot like debate, but it's still different.

please and thanks.

If your talking about at school... then if you guys are allowed to post flyers then do that or if you guys have announcments... you can make them on there... try talking to people in debate like things that might be intrested in your club!or if your like my school... tell one person and eVeRyoNe kNows! goood luck with iT hUn!
xOxO, aLeX

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Well i am in 7th grade and my bestfriend is moving to West Varginia and i just met her at the beginning of the year and now she is moving at the end of january and i am gonna take it very hard because we are like bestfriends soooooooo what should i give her and tell her b4 she leaves??????? Need Help Fast!!!!!!!!! Thanx
oxoxoxo,
C.S.

Give her something she will always remeber... like a scrapbook or photo album of you too... something thats memorable... tell her that she need to call you, visit you eTc... and that you'll miss her like crazzzy! sorry about your friend... sUcKs dosent it?!
xOxO, aLeX

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I am a girl and 13 and i'm obsessed with a 41 year old actor, (Johnny Depp). Is this a bad thing to want to be with a man that much older than I am?

nOoPe... i want him too and i am 16... hes the same agw as my dad... so that makes me wonder do i want my dads friends? haha nOpe... alot of younger girls like him because he is famous, an actor, rich, and sOoO sexy. brad pitt is just as old... and i havent heard one girl say that he wasn't sOOO sexy! so not a bad thing at aLL! i am close to obsessed with him 2! how could you rEsIst?!
xOxO, aLeX

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ok...im a 15 year old female and i have a pretty big chest (34 c/d)...everyone calls me a slut cause i have a big chest..i mostly wear sports bras so people dont see exactly how big my chest it, but yesterday was my friends sweet 16, and the dress i wore really showed alot of clevage... all the guys at the party talked about how hott i was and how they wanted to hook up with me...i feel like i cant be myself because of my chest..and the worst thing is... i swim and im in a bathing suit all the time..well my friend told all the guys i was on the school swim team... and my friend came up to me and told me that all of them were gonna be at my next swim meet...is there anything i can do about my chest????HELP

HaHa... I know how you feel. I have a big chest too.. but i am small which dosent make seNse?! haha theres nothing you can do about your chest... unless your considering breast reduction which is kinda outta the question rIgHt?! learn to love it... don't you like the attention? haha... bIg bOob girls have such an advantage... we can get away with wearing low shirts and work at hooters tOo! theres nothing you can do... you can tApe ur bOoBs??? haha jOkIn... bUt lOOoVE eM...!
xOxO, aLeX

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I didn't know what to put this under. My mom and I want to help out with the tsunami disaster by sending $, but my mom doesn't think it'll help. Like it won't be enough. What do you think? Should we send the money or no?
Thanks

hEy! tHaT iS sUpeR sWeEt oF yOu aNd uR mOm! every little bit helps.... just think about if everybody said that their money dosent matter... then there would be nothing! just think about if everyone in the whole country gave a dIme! nOw tHaT wOuld be gReaT! :)
xOxO, aLEX

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Is there a way to find out who has listed you as a favorite columnist? Thanks

YeP! underneath your name: ex:Welcome, blondebombshell33 you click on favorite columnists and then you'll see blondebombshells favorite columnists and then underneath that it will say Members listing blondebombshell33 as a favorite columnist... and everyone who choose you... will be below! hope that helped!
xOxO, aLeX

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Okay,everyone at school always calls me a slut and a hoe and a whore and i never even did anything! They won't stop and it's really getting on my nerves. I don't think I am, but when you hear it all day from all of your friends you start to believe it and that's kind of what's happening! But i don't know what to do! Please help! i rate

Just ignore them... last year... i kinda went through the same thing. but believe me. it wears off... as soon as they find the "next biggest slut" the rumors will stop. as hard as it is to ignore them you gotta think that you don't want to be known as a bitch either... if your friends are calling you a slut... talk to them and see wHy?! their you "friends" so they shouldn't be talking to you about that! so have a chat with them! but for the rest of those lOsErs... IgNorE eM hUnNY!
xOxO, aleX

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My BFF krystal ebel died in a TRAGIC car accident how should i handle it!?

oHh i am super sorry to hear about that! one of my friends parents just recently died too so i know how hard it is to handle... because i have also had friends that have died too. my friend though goes to grief group... they have it at our school... but their everywhere. i'm not very religious... but if you believe in God... that has helped my friend alot! find someone to talk to and do stuff too to get your mind off it! i'm super sorry! good luck!
xOxO, aLeX

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My friend and I experimented with each other. Were both 13 and are both girls also. We kissed, french kissed, nibbled and felt on each other, but nothing "below the belt." I would just like to know does that mean were lovers if we don't have boyfriends? We never had sex before and we experimented, but not "below the belt." Does that mean were not virgins anymore? Help!!

Your still a virgin! If you weren't a virgin... you would have had sexual intercourse (with a guy) Thats up to you if your lovers... if you two both are in love then thats what I think a lover is!
xOxO, aLeX

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I asked my mom if I could get my belly button pierced and she said yes, but when we were trying to figure out where to go one of her friends said that you can get herpes from it and all this stuff like that and getting infected. So now my mom doesn't want me to anymore cause she doesn't want to be responsible for me getting some really bad infection or something like herpes. what can i do?

Herpes? HaHa nope! You can't get herpes from getting your belly button pierced... but you could get aids.... from needles... which i've never heard of happening before... just make sure you go to a clean place and ask if the needle is sterelized! you can also get an infection... but thats if you don't take proper care of it! the piercing person will give you more details! good luck! hope it works out! :)
xOxO, aLeX

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ok tomorro night my dad and i are going out for a steak dinner and maybe some shopping. My friend tutored me for free a few times, which was really nice of her. My mom suggested me taking her tomorro.. my dad said he didnt mind even though he did mention he'd rather it be just the two of us. What should i choose to do?

HeY! If it's your dad thats taking you, then it's his decision. If he would rather have it be just you two, then you two should do that tomorrow and then invite your friend somewhere next weekend or something like that. Maybe she would like it better too if it was just you and hEr!
xOxO, aLeX

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i know its been mentioned in your column before that you have experience with eating disorders so i was wondering if i could get your advice-my eating disorder started at the beginning of this year over a guy-we hooked up a few times then he asked this other girl out and i was always under the impression i was never good enough. i felt so out of control that i started not eating because it was something i could control. I personally don't think i have an eating disorder but i can tell my friends are getting annoyed with me for not eating or commenting that certain people have gotten bigger etc. maybe my sense of what is healthy is warped??? iunno personally i think im fine and i think an ideal body is for example a victoria's secret model granted i know they have implants-their bodies look healthy and toned and it looks good to me. there's nothing wrong with me if i watch what i eat is there?

hEy hUn! Yea... i CaN dEfInaTeLy heLp yA oUt oN tHis One! to answer your question... there is definatley nothing wrong with watching what u eat... that is if you do it for the right reasons... wanting to get healthy, wanting to get in shape eTc... but if your doing it to try to be "perfect" then there is something wrong with that... because as you probably know.. watching what you eat sometimes turns into not eating hardly anything or anything at all. its definately common for you to want a victorias secret model body (aHhh dont we aLL?!) sometimes i wish i had mary kate olsen's body or paris hiltons.... i have had anorexia for almost 3 years (wOw) aNd trust me...its not something you wanna go through... in and out of hospitols, treatments, not getting to see your friends eTc... you mentioned that your eating disorder began over a gUy which is super common. alot of people devolp eating disorders...because they feel like their body is the only thing they can control... they can't contorl what happens with their friends, family, boyfriends eTc... but they can control what their body is like.your sense of what healthy is warped if you say you have an eating disorder... to me healthy is sometimes a grapefruit a day and back bones sticking oUt... because anorexia is warped... no matter how thing you are... you still compare yourself to others and think your a cow.... yOu definately need 2 talk to someone about this aKa get help! seriosuly... before it ends up getting out of control... i know every girl wants to have the hottest bOdY... bUt please ONLY watch what you eat... and don't NOT eat! i hope i helped you! ask me anything anytime! good luck!
xOxO, aLeX

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I'm 15/f in highschool and I know this girl who is pregnant. This isn't about wether its right or wrong, but, she's 15 also, and in my grade. I've known her since 4th grade(just about). She just found out she was pregnant, and I'm on good terms with her and everything, but were not best friends. Y'know? I was thinking I should go up to her and tell her that if she needs anything, I'd be there for her. Should I? Would it be inappropiate? -Sarah

you should definately talk to her... just a simple i'm here for you.. will mean alot 2 her. now more then ever she needs people... and 2 know that she has you... that will make her feel gOOd. shes going through a tough time.. and to know that she has your support will be helpfUl!
good luck!
xOxO, aLeX

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im a 14/f...i weigh bout 105...yea i knoe its not so much...im trying to gain some weight too...and well this school year i started cheerleading...my arms had gotten a bit big...but i want them bigger!..nd my calvs are still small...i want them bigger!!..and most of all..i want abs!...i want my belly to look like beyoncez in tha new music video soldier...if anyone knows any exercises i kan do at home...to get my self looking good by this spring/summer please give me sum advice!

Think about this: beyonce has her own personal trainer and works out for 3+ hours a day... but who says u cant get abs right? You can do all the crunches you want, but your belly will still be there if you don't first lose the fat.
gO hErE:
http://www.ivillage.com/diet/experts/fitfriday/qas/0,,221818_7230,00.html?arrivalSA=1&cobrandRef=0&arrival_freqCap=1&pba=adid=13013281

gOOd LuCK!
xOxO, aLeX

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You know those pictures that people put on their websites (especially xangas and stuff) that are like square.. and then they say little quotes on them? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Can someone PLEASE tell me where to find them! I will rate 5's!! Thank u!!

tHeiR icOns... gO tHErE aNd u CAn fInD aLoT! aReNT tHeY aDorAbLe?!
http://www.xanga.com/search.aspx?type=groups&term=icons cLicK oN oNe oF tHe bLoGs aNd tHeN cLiCk oN a UsEr!

oR:
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=iCoNs_2004
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=IcOnZ_DaT_RoCk
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Ic0nZ_f0r_y0o
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Dani___iconz
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=lover_of_icons
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=theiconqueen

hOpe i HeLpED!
xOxO, aLeX

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