about

Hey everyone! My name is Kristen, I'm 20 and I'm a college junior studying pharmacy. I've been blessed with a really good life, and part of the reason for that is because I've learned to see GOOD in everything that happens to me.

I love giving advice, and I've been told that I do a good job at it, but I'll let you decide! Feel free to ask me anything... don't be shy, that's why I'm here. I've been through a lot... moving from one country to another, leaving and finding new friends, break ups, boys, middle school, high school, college, self esteem issues... pretty much most things that people need help with.

I usually spend a good amount of time answering your questions, so I would really appreciate it if you leave me an honest rating along with some feedback (good or bad!) It really does help me improve my advice... and in the end, that's good for YOU! Talk to ya soon! :)

advice

can blowdrying your hair make your hair lighter?
thanks

hmm interesting... but no way! i have dark hair and i blow dry it pretty much every day, and it's still dark! the only way the heat might make your hair lighter is at the ends! if you look at the ends of your hair, they are lighter than the rest of your hair because they are the most dry and damaged part. because of that, they lose some of their color and become weak. that's about all that blow drying will do... but there is no way it would make ALL of your hair lighter! :) but the sun probably will!

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My dream has always been to be an actress or singer. A few days ago I did really well at a huge audition and now have a call back for an "American Idol" type show in London. I am one of 200 people who will be filmed but only 10 will be featured on tv. The problem is that I have a younger sister who is getting married in America the weekend after the week I'm supposed to be in London and as her maid of honor I am throwing a huge bachelorette party the weekend before the audition. So because of logistics since I live in the UK right now, I would have to miss the bachelorette party which I am throwing. She is disappointed and my parents think I am an evil child if I do this. My family is the most important thing to me and I don't want them to hate me but I don't think they're being fair as this is a once in a lifetime opportunity at a big break. What should I do?

hey!! ok this is a really tough decision and it's hard for me to even give you an answer so i can't imagine how you feel!

i don't think you are being selfish, because opportunities like this don't come around every day, but same goes for your sister's marriage!

do you really think that participating in the show will give you a head start on your dream? i mean like do you think the show is big enough to the point where you could be discovered on it or something if they decided to put you on TV? if you truly think that there is a good chance, then maybe you should do that because you may not get an opportunity like that again.

on the other hand, if you don't go to the bachelorette party, do you think your parents and sister will be upset with you to the point where even if you make it on TV, they will still be mad? i can see why your sister wants you there... i mean she is celebrating her last couple of days of being single, and you mean a lot to her if she asked you to be her maid of honor! she wanted to share this special experience with you!

i think the more safe bet is to go to the party, because with the audition, you could make it, but you could not. you never know. if you don't make it, then it was almost a waste of your time, and you missed out on a party that you will remember for the rest of your life. but that's just the more safe choice, not necessarily the right one.

im sorry if im making this confusing, it's just such a hard decision! there are just so many + and - to doing either one of the 2, that i can't decide! your best bet may be to reverse roles with your sister. put yourself in her shoes, and her in yours. what would you want her to do if she was in your position!? i hope this helps you come to a decision, but remember that no matter which one you pick, you will have fun with both and they will both be memorable! just talk it out with your family and get their honest opinions (with NO name calling!) to help you decide... but ultimately, stick with YOUR gut feeling! :( sorry if this didn't help! good luck!!

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hey, what are some really good ceremic hair straighteners? like what brands? and im not talking about an ok job, im talking a drastic change from like poofy to smooth straight and silky. it would be great if you could answer with straighteners under 40 dollars? thanks, ill rate fives for any ideas.

hey! well someone already mentioned this one, but i am going to say it again because i think it is THAT good! remington wet to straight is the best ever! i have wavy, thick and frizzy hair and this straightener gets rid of all those problems! it gets all the extra moisture out of your hair by turning it into steam... which you actually SEE coming out from the little holes on the side! by getting all the extra water out, it gets rid of frizz and makes your hair super smooth, shiny and straight! it's about $30 at wal mart... awesome deal for such an awesome straightener! also, don't forget to use something to protect your hair from the heat... i suggest aussie heat protectant/leave in conditioner! it's a 2 in 1 product in a purple bottle... it's like 3 bucks and it works well! :)

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I weigh 130 and I have soo many stretch marks. And I've had these huge huge huge patches on my legs since 7th grade but I gained 2 pounds since last year and got 18 more stretch marks on my sides. And its really hard because I'm trying to eat better and exercise and every time I see the stretch marks it makes me unhappy and it makes me want to give up and stop caring and I sit there and cry and cry because its so ugly and it makes me ugly. And its swimsuit season and I cant do this I cant live like this anymore but I have no options and it is really hard I feel so terrible about myself but nobody understands because nobody else I know has my problem and has stretch marks like me. When I look at them I just want to take a knife and cut the stretch marks out of my body. I know this is bad and that something is wrong and I'm not sure what to do about it because I'm too embaressed to tell my mom about my new stretch marks that are really depressing me because it means I failed.

I feel miserable, please help. I'm desperate.

hey!! well i've only been on this website trying to help people out for about a month, but i've already read a million questions from girls who are depressed about something that has to do with their body! everyone has a problem with their body... not just you! every person in the world can find something that they dislike and that they would change if they could, so you're not alone!

your strech marks are one "problem" that you see when you look at yourself, but why do they make you want to give up trying to look your best? like i said, everyone has at least one thing they hate about their body, so the best thing to do is try to make everything else that you CAN change even better in order to distract you from the "problem" you can't change! so if losing a little more weight would make you feel better, then go for it! make yourself happy... just remember to stay healthy!

no one else has strech marks like you? hmm are you sure about that? most women have them... the reason you've never seen them is because people don't take the time to look at other people's imperfections... they only look at their own! why are you embarassed to tell your mom? why do you think that you have failed? did you put the strech marks there? NO! did you ask for them? NO! so how is it your fault, and how have you failed just because you have them?

i've heard that cocoa butter helps to reduce their appearance, and now that it's swimsuit season as you said, it's also time to get a bit of a tan, which will also make them look less noticeable! buy a swimsuit which will emphasize your best features, and trust me, everyone will be looking at those and NOT your strech marks!

i really hate to see you or anyone else depressed over your body! with time you will learn to accept it and love it, and then life will be SOO much easier. every time you look at your strech marks and want to cry, just stop it! don't even allow yourself to look at a mirror unless you are going to be looking at your BEST features and complimenting yourself! and i KNOW you have those so don't deny it! you don't like having strech marks on your legs? how does not having legs sound? things can ALWAYS be worse, so don't stress over the small stuff, it makes life too hard! :) i hope i helped a little!

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Would turquoise shoes go with a pale yellow shirt & jeans?

hmmm, just depends on your preferences and what you like, but i personally think that both yellow and turquoise are very bright, out there colors so i would just stick to wearing one of them at a time! but if you like it then i think you should go ahead and wear them! :)

for the shoes, you can try to match them up with a white shirt, a brown one or even a turquoise one (of the same shade as the shoes)... just more earthy colors.

as far as the yellow shirt, you can pretty much wear it with most shoes... brown, black, white...

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What do you need to know, or what types of questions to they ask, to get your learner's permit to drive?

hey! just go to the place and pick up a booklet... they should have tons of them sitting there! it's not a big book or anything, and they get all the questions on the test out of it! most of the questions are easy, straight forward, and some of them are just common sense! i passed the first time i took the test, and all i did was read the book while waiting in line to take the test (haha it was a long wait... like 2 hours)! so as long as you read the book, you are good to go! :) good luck!

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Are big heads unattractive on girls? Mine is kinda big, and I don't fit into many hats. I'm really self concious about it.

hey! big head? hahah i don't think i've ever seen someone and thought that they had a big head! i can't even imagine what that looks like! are you sure you're not just picking at your body and trying to find an imperfection like most people do? just because you can't fit into hats, it doesn't mean that your head actually LOOKS big to other people! like i said, im sure it doesn't, because i've never seen such a thing! :) don't worry about it, everything about you is what makes you YOU! yeah it sounds cheesy and corny or w/e, but it's the truth! the way i see it, big head is better than no head! lol just stop looking at it that way... when you look in the mirror from now on, look at the parts of your body that you love and admire them! people always try to find things about themselves that they don't like, but it's just stress that's not necessary! i'm sure you look great the way you are!! :)

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i have a girlfriend and we have done smooches and physical contacts. but she isnt ready to do sex. tell me what shud i do to make her do so with me??????

ok, well you can't do anything to MAKE her, because this is a big step and if she is not ready, she is not ready. im sorry but you can't change that!

i realize that sex isn't that big of a deal for guys, so to you it may seem like nothing but it means a LOT to girls.

also, if she is not ready for sex, then she is not ready for the responsibilities that come along with sex! obviously the biggest problem is pregnancy... there is a chance that she can get pregnant, and i can guarantee you that she is in no way ready for that!

lastly, why would you want to have sex with someone if they don't feel comfortable doing it right now? the whole purpose of it is for 2 people to share their love for one another... it's a way of expressing emotions! the reason it feels so good is because you know you are also making someone else feel good, not just yourself! if she is not ready, then it won't feel good for her, and as a result it won't feel as good for you!

if you force her to do this or talk her into it somehow, she will regret it because she's not ready for it, and it will ruin your entire relationship... i guarantee it! so what's more important to you? getting layed and then losing your gf, or respecting her wishes, making her happy and keeping her around to make you happy? it's your call! :)

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im 15/f and i like this 17/m but my borthday is late sooo thats why im still 15. ok well anyways, i like him and i want to flirt with him but not be too obvious becuase were friends. so how do i casually flirt and make myself irrisistable and kind of show him that im likeable? thanks
will rate 5's!

hey! well there are a few things you can do:

- pay a little extra attention to him than you do to other guys, and make sure that he gets the hint

- playfully touch him and "push" him when you talk to him

- make him laugh by joking around with him and laugh with him when he is trying to be funny

- give him little hints that you like him, but make them into little jokes. like if he says something stupid you can make fun of him and drop a hint by being a little sarcastic and saying something like "oh wow you are soo smart, i can deffinitely see myself with a guy that knows as much as you do"... wow ok that was a lame example, but you get where i'm going with this! lol

- most importantly, BE YOURSELF, because that's who you are trying to get him to like! good luck! :)

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I think my boyfriend of 4yrs is racist. And i think the race that he hates happens to be mine. I've been crying about it for hours! Is that even possible? What should i do?

hey! aaww i really don't think you have anything to worry about... when people hate something they avoid it at all costs! how can he hate your race... basically everything that you ARE and still have been with you for 4 years? why do you feel that way? has he been saying things that lead you to believe this? maybe he is just joking around or doesn't mean for things to sound the way they do to you! really i can't do much for you in this case other than tell you to talk to him! explain to him how you feel, and more importantly WHY you feel that way! im sure you guys have good communication skills since you have been together for so long! just be calm... he will understand and reassure you otherwise! don't worry about it, i don't think there is anyway he could hate something that has been part of his life for 4 years... he LOVES YOU if anything! :)

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Well its been about 2 weeks sense i had sex, we used a condum and everything we were so careful even after we had it for the first time we checked and made sure there was no hole and i'm suppose to start my period right now at end of the month well didnt come and i took 2 test to see both came back negative and i still havent started my period. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for like a year and 3months first time we did it! i just need help i fit doesnt start soon by this week were going to the doctor well i live in san antonio i dont know were to go because if i do they might tell my parents???
please help

hey! well you took 2 tests, and they came out negative so i don't really think you have anything to worry about. when you first start having sex, it can throw off your cycle a bit, so it is normal for your period to be late. i suggest waiting a week or two, and if you don't get it then do one more pregnancy test... if it comes out negative again, then go see a doctor. do you have planned parenthood where you live? do a google search or go to their website at plannedparenthood.com! anything you say to them they HAVE to keep confidential, so they will not tell your parents.

also, don't forget that if you are younger and just recently started your period, it can still be irregular! i don't think you have much to worry about... just wait a little longer, i am sure you will get it soon! :) be careful and good luck!

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i like this boy and I think he likes me. like when we play dogde ball he tries to get me it or get me out.or when we play kick ball he always tries to get me out, but I went out with him before and now I'm scared he'll say no. and then tell everybody I asked. What should I do?

hey! don't worry about it... who cares what other people say, it's your life! :) anyway, just be extra friendly and flirty with him! push him around playfully, pay as much attention to him as he pays to you, joke around with him... just pay more attention to him than you do to all the other guys you're around! trust me, he will get the hint and if he likes you he will make a move!

but you mentioned that you guys went out before? did you end it, or did he? if you ended it with him before, then he might be afraid of getting rejected again, so you may have to make the first move. just give it a little time, and flirt with him and see where things go! if this goes on for a few more weeks, then you will be able to tell if he likes you and you can make a move if you want! :) good luck!

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I RATE 5s. Im 14/f and I have a lot of small problems that I can't discuss with my friends. Well.. I can, but they have problems of their own to deal with. Even when they tell me their problems, sometimes I freak out that night- not because of their problem, just from too much negativity in my life. Sometimes I really want to cut... but I hate blood, so I can never go through with it. I think I might give out a "i have no problems" kind of vibe. I don't show up as an emotional person cus I don't want people to see that. I don't have THAT many problems,its just things build up inside me. I have no one to talk to about issues- I won't be talking to my parents about them, so please don't give that advice. I also have major trust issues because of most of my friends during elementry school. So if I do tell my friends something, I end up freaking out that night thinking they will tell someone. I'm not emo, I dont dress it, act like it, or any of that. I'm just sad on the inside. Most of my sadness lately is caused of loss of control over my life. I REALLY like this guy and he has a gf... but theres nothing i can do about it. My grades are going down and theres not much I can do to change them... stuff like that.

Thanks SO much. Sorry it was so long.
-anomynous-

hey! ok first of all, im really glad that you're not cutting because that only conceals your problems for a little bit of time, and then adds on another problem on top of them all! the reason people cut anyway is because they hold so much pain inside, that they hurt themselves physically in order to focus on that pain and forget about their emotional pain. it doesn't work in the long run! what you need to do is talk to someone! ok so you don't want to tell your friends or your parents, but there are plenty of other people.

you can go to your school councelor as many times as you need and talk to her/him... that's why they're there! just tell them you want to keep this between you and them, and they will not tell a single person! they're not allowed to!

if that's not an option that you like, then you can always just come on this website and discuss your problems with people here... even if they are small problems! it doesn't matter, everyone will see your problem and try and make you look at it a different way, and make it easier for you to deal with it! or you can call one of the many teen hotlines... they are free and confidential, and you can find many by just searching on google for one!

what im trying to say is that you HAVE to talk to someone about your problems and let them out! you can't keep them bottled up inside because they will just add and make you snap! just try talking about your problems and you will see how much easier things will become. you'll be able to see that your problems are really not that bad, and that things can be much much worse. life is not easy... it's a struggle, but as soon as you learn how to deal with all the small problems that come along the way, you will be SO happy and have complete control! :) good luck and don't hesitate to ask for more advice if you need it!

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Ok i've been stuck on this one thing scense september i like this guy and i've only talked to him twice sence september and friday is the last day i get to see him and i really am trying to work up the courage to talk to him and it sounds easy in my head but it really isn't personaly so if you could tell me what to do that would really be great!

hey! ok you have to "work up the courage to talk to him" because you are scared that you will say something stupid and make a fool out of yourself! you're scared that he won't like you, and you're afraid of rejection! but why do all these things matter if the last time you see him is on friday? think of the worst thing that could happen that would embarass you more than anything in front of him! even if it happens, so what? you're not going to see him again (at least not for a while if you are off for the summer from school), so you have nothing to worry about!

of course you won't say anything stupid and i'm sure he will love you, but i'm just saying don't be afraid, because even if something bad does happen it doesn't matter! even the worst case scenario isn't bad in your case... you're lucky! so just tell yourself that this is your last chance, remind yourself that you have nothing to lose, and when you see him, DON'T run through the conversation in your head and don't even think about what you are going to say! the minute you see him just walk up to him without thinking about it and say hi! ask him about his summer plans... anything! just start with small talk and the conversation should go from there! just do it, don't think about it and psych yourself out!! it's a win win situation, you have nothing to lose! :) good luck!

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prom is on may 13th - i know less then 2 weeks! i still don't have a date & i really want to have one! i am not great friends with many guys, so i don't really even have much of a choice on who i can ask. i have one friend (we don't like hang out or anything, but we talk in school) who i considered asking but then i realized (& a friend agreed with me) that he most likely doesn't want to go to the prom at all. she used to joke with him (before she knew i wanted to go with him) about prom 7 he would always say he wasn't going & he doesn't want to go. however, he's basically the only one i can even really think of as a possibility, so should i ask him anyways? i also don't know when to get him alone to ask him if i do (i don't want to do it infront of people, but i want to do it in person). what should i say to make him see i want to go with him. also i don't think he's likes to dance, so would it be stupid to ask him? i want to dance, but he probably would say no to going & to dancing. what would you do?!?!!? (i don't know him really well, just as sort of an in-school friend)

hey!! i wanna go to prom again!! :( lol ok aanyway, i think you should ask him! and i think you should do it right away... like tomorrow! he will need to have some time to get things ready and get a tux and all that stuff! i mean ok, you have nothing to lose... if he says yes, then you got a date, and if he says no, then you will still have a lot of fun just going with friends! do you have any classes with him? or do you see him around school in the hallway? just look for him during school and pull him aside for a minute... say something like "hey come here for a second i have something to tell you" and then tell him! no pressure or anything, it doesn't have to be anything formal... just say "hey so i was wondering if you would wanna go to prom with me, i think we would have a lot of fun" or something like that! if he is hesitant and says something like "i dont know how i feel about dances i dont like dancing much" tell him it's not all about that and that he will have fun! it's something that people remember forever, so why should he miss out on it?

even if he doesn't like to dance, don't worry about it! you don't have to stay glued to him the whole time at the dance anyway! im sure you will be able to get him to dance and loosen up, because once he sees everyone else having fun and doing that he is likely to do it too! but even if he doesn't, you can still dance with your friends and stuff! it will be fun! :) so go ahead and ask him, and deffinitely go even if he says no! prom was soo awesome! have fun!

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well you see i am soooooo guilty of what i have done i well... looked at porn all different kinds and i feel so guilty should i like bow down to my parents and like tell tem or shoul i live with it? I'm going on a trip in like a couple weeks and i dont think its going to be any fun being guilty. but i realized if i tell them i might not get to go on the trip!!!! HELP ME PLEASE!!!

hey! aww don't feel guilty, you really didn't do anything wrong! it's normal to be curious about things... you just wanted to see what it was all about! now that you did, you don't have to look at it again, or feel bad about it! everyone has seen some kind of porn, so don't freak out. just keep telling yourself that you didn't do anything wrong or hurt anyone, and eventually you won't feel bad about it! :) its ok!

oh, also it's not still on your computer is it? lol

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ok,i got razer burn(on my armpits....yaa...kinda weird sorry..!!) but i would like to no
how long does it last? and what can i use to get rid of it?(and if i can use something to get rid of it...how long does that take?) i have a dance next friday and i really dont want it to be there!!
thankyou for the help!!

hey, i'm not sure if there is anything specific you can use on your armpits to make it go away, but just don't shave them for the next couple of days until the dance! just use deodorant and put some moisturizer on them after you shower! that may sound gross, but if you shave them again you will only get more razor burn and ingrown hairs! so just wait until the hair peaks above the skin, and then shave it in the shower with a lot of shaving cream and a good razor (make sure it is not dull)! do it the night of the dance! you should be good to go! :) good luck!

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i have this cami and it says 'dont feel the models' ..what does this mean??

hahah that's so funny, my friend has it too! anyway, basically it's making fun of models... you know the signs at the zoo that say "don't feed the animals?" basically they're doing the same kind of thing by writing that on the shirt, but it's supposed to be funny because models are so skinny and probably don't each much! so basically it says don't feed them so they stay skinny! ok i hope that made sense lol! :)

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does anyone have a foundation/concealer they would recommend? i need to get a good foundation because the ones i use dont work good and is just.. not good.. and also what are some good mascaras that make eyelashes look longer and thicker? if you can answer one of them ill giveyou a 5! thanks!

hey! ok this is what i use and i love it:

~* cover girl oil control foundation (blue cap)
http://www.covergirl.com/cgcollection/face/foundation/cleanoil.jhtml

~* cover girl concealer
http://www.covergirl.com/tips/facetips/concealer.jhtml;jsessionid=EG2UK3T1ZM0FTQFIAJ13OCQ

~*always make sure to put powder or bronzer after the foundation, to make sure that it stays put all day! I love physicians formula pearls of perfection
http://www.physiciansformula.com/detail_list.asp?itemid=02412&scene=BRONZERS&categorid=122

~* best mascara i've ever used... and i've tried plenty of them... is victoria's secret very sexy lashes
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=UN-171001&page=1&cgname=OSMKPEYEMAS&rfnbr=2532&pn=false

hope this helped! :)

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okay i have a cut on the inside of my nail sort've. it had a rest surface, like blood, but it wasn't blood blood, if that makes sense. basically none came off on the bandaid. i had basketball so i took it off, & i have OCD & i'm a huge germophob, so is there anything i could've gotten?? see the thing is, idk if anyone was even bleeding, but im sort've weird about it. idk aids?? viruses?? bacteria?? i don't deal with germs that great.

thanks!!

hahah, this sounds like a paper cut or something like that! it may hurt a little, and it doesn't bleed but you can see a little red "blood" outlining the cut! it's nothing to worry about it should go away soon! lol don't freak out! :)

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