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my boyfirend is racist
I think my boyfriend of 4yrs is racist. And i think the race that he hates happens to be mine. I've been crying about it for hours! Is that even possible? What should i do?
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I'm sorry but that really made me burst out laughing. If he hates your race then why is he your boyfriend? That doesn't make sense. Ask him straight up if he has a problem with you or anyone and why. Maybe he makes comments and doesn't realize that you are taking them this way. Or maybe he really is racist, if so then you need to find this out.
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I would ask him first of all. See if what you suspect is really true. You never know, you could be crying over nothing. Then if he admits to being racist or seems like he is lying when you ask him, I would see if you have a future with someone like your boyfriend. Weigh the good and the bad things and see if all this pain you're feeling is really worth it. Good luck with it all :)
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oh boy... ummm.. what i would do first, is ask him about it. Ask him whats going on? Well.. i just got an idea that may be leading into something else a littttle different.. if he is making racist comments/jokes about your race, then he might be telling you he wants to break off the relationship but wants you to do it so you wont be hurt as bad. But if hes not making comments/jokes than ask him about it. Talk it over but he shouldnt be racist over his girlfriends race.
Hope I helped you.
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Well, this may come across as a little complicated but I'll do my best to explain. There is no such thing as race. We all happen to be the same race. Anyone hating someone because of a difference in melanin levels in the skin, or because they eyes may have a different slant does not understand the truth and wish to remain in the dark. You see, there have been scientific biological studies done by an Italian and European descendant scientist who have found the exact bushman tribe in South Africa that we are all descended from. The name of this tribe is the La Sande (I'm not positive of the spelling, but I think it's pretty close). When you look into the faces of this tribe you can see all of the so-called races in the world. They have used DNA and the Y chromosome in males to trace it back. They also traced how we migrated and moved to the different parts of the world as we have. They found a southern Indian (the country) who's DNA was the same as the aboriginal people of Australia and were able to show that the route the aborigines took to get to Australia. They found THE FAMILY in Kazakhstan that all Europeans, Asians, Middle Easterners, Native Americans, etc. are descendants of. Now I'll bet you are wondering how we could have differences in skin tone, eye color and hair colors, right? Easily explained. When we lived in Africa we were living in the tropics and the sun is very strong there. Though we do need vitamin D to survive we can also get too much of it. Melanin is a natural sunscreen and protects us from getting too much sun. When those of us who decided to move to northern colder climates found the sun not to be that strong. We weren't getting enough vitamin D so our skin had to lighten up to let more of the sun in so that we could get the vitamin D that we needed. Our head is the place on the body that we loose the most heat. When we moved to the colder climates we needed to hold onto as much heat as we could so things like our noses slimed down a bit or smaller versions. I'm white and all my life I could not see that difference, really. Start checking everyone out with a different perspective. Have you ever noticed how you can see the faces of your friends and family in every so-called race? That's because we are all related. I have included the website for the Journey of Man study as well as the PBS store. I bought the 2 hr CD that explains this whole thing much better than I can and have been sharing it with anyone I can. I would like to see a world where we didn't make problems were they need not be. I wish we could to do away with separatist terms like African American. We should all just be Americans. I wish that instead of February being African American History month simply make it that history is history. When you are studying a particular year, country etc. you are studying all influences and people at the same time. When you are studying literature than you should study the writings of great writers of all cultures. Did you know that Alexander Dumas (1802-1870) the author of "The Three Musketeers" series was a black man? One of my favorite books of all times is Alice Walkers "Jubilee". I first read the book in 1968 and I was blown away. It's a story of her grandmother's experience as a slave and daughter of the plantation owner. I think that schools should have us read "Gone with the Wind", followed by "Jubilee". You'd get to see both sides. Why are we so afraid to face our past? Why can't we teach our children about our past mistakes so that they are not repeated? Our fear is what is perpetuating these racist attitudes in people and this is what must be stopped. It is my belief that as soon as we stop polarizing ourselves then people will (for the most part) will not see the differences. I'm not saying that anyone should do away with the beauty of their individual cultures and how that extension of our family developed. I love our differences and different outlooks and ideas. I have learned so much from people who have seen the world from a different perspective than me. I don't want to loose that. I just want to loose the attitude that we are different races, because we aren't. I feel for you in the situation with your boyfriend. I'll bet he was just mad at someone and said things that he didn't really mean, but you should have a talk with him about that. He needs to know how it hurt you for him to do or say whatever it was he did or said. I don't think that was his intent. People make statements all the time that they don't mean. Talk to him about it first before believing he's something he may not be. If you've been with him for 4 years and not seen anything before now, then chances are he didn't mean whatever it was.
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NAMASTE!
LULABELLE
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hey im here to help and no worries!
first examine the situation,are you sure he's a racist victim or is he just acting diffrent.
Maybe talk to him about it?
if he is racist than you should deffinatly consider moving on- as hard as it might be.
no one who hates somebody for no reason is not worth it!. everyones diffrent.
just tell him to learn how to accept it.
good luck,and rememeber.
being you is the best you can be.
and if he doesnt like that.
than he doesnt deserve you!
hope i helped
much love-pinkandrawr
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Well, I guess all I can think to say is this:
1) If he was racist, you wouldn't just be finding out about it 4 years later.
2) If he was racist against your race, he wouldn't be dating you because if he didn't like that race, then he definitely wouldn't like you.
3) Stop crying, everything is fine and if you keep on worrying, then talk to him about it. Ya'll should have a close enough relationship to talk about things like that. Esp. after 4 years.
Hope I helped!
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Well first of all stop crying. Its ok. Talk to him find out if he is racist. If he is, ask him why. Tell him how you fell. Let him know that you dont like it. If he isnt, great! But talk it out, let him know whats going on. And if any of that doesnt work then I would say that you should talk to a aduld or even a consuler and ask them to talk to him. Have them talk about being racist and effects it has on not only him but the comunity. Good luck.
--->loves luvsu<---
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hey! aaww i really don't think you have anything to worry about... when people hate something they avoid it at all costs! how can he hate your race... basically everything that you ARE and still have been with you for 4 years? why do you feel that way? has he been saying things that lead you to believe this? maybe he is just joking around or doesn't mean for things to sound the way they do to you! really i can't do much for you in this case other than tell you to talk to him! explain to him how you feel, and more importantly WHY you feel that way! im sure you guys have good communication skills since you have been together for so long! just be calm... he will understand and reassure you otherwise! don't worry about it, i don't think there is anyway he could hate something that has been part of his life for 4 years... he LOVES YOU if anything! :)
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