I have a degree in Biomedical Engineering and Psychology from Northwestern University. I finished medical school and completed my M.D. at the University of Cincinnati College of Medicine. I am currently in my residency for surgery- hopefully to be specializing in neurosurgery.
I want to answer questions on medical type questions. I'm a big fan of Dr. Drew Pinsky on Love Line and would like to help younger people from the mistakes I see a lot of young people do when they come into my ER.
Gender: Male
Location: I'm from all over.
Occupation: Physician- Surgeon
Age: 29
AIM: ArunKSherma
Member Since: January 23, 2005
Answers: 188
Last Update: January 2, 2009
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--16.f-- There's this guy, in my school (let's call him Tom?) well..I am on the school swim team, and so is Tom..He flirts with every single girl he can, and ofcourse, I'm included amoung these girls. But he doesnt flirt the same way with me as he does with the other ones. He gets..more into it, I guess. Everyone says that he likes me all and I like the attention. But like he just can't be trusted and he's one of those guys who you think is going to grow up to be a prostitute..but I kind of like him..what should I do?
Thanks to those that answer = )! (link)
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I knew a couple of guys in high school who were like that- we called them Man Whores (see Deuce Bigelow- Male Gigilo and you'll get the reference). They're the kind of guys who flirts with every girl and any one that they get a positive response with, they'll flirt more with.
If you do like him, I would wait to see if he doesn't something a bit more personal and not so much "teasing". Maybe if he does something personal like leave you a note. A lot of these guys put on this mask, and when they do like someone, they reveal who they really are.
I flirt with a lot of my female friends, but they know that I do it just to make them feel good. The girls that I "like", were the ones that I couldn't flirt with.
Hope that things work out.
Yours,
Arun
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me and ryan* have been dating for about 6 months now. these past two weeks, it seems like he's been hitting me a lot lately. i mean, half the time we're joking.. but he's been kicking me.. we were walking down the hallway and i said something to him, a joke.. and he kicked me in the back of the leg.. i couldn't walk right the rest of the day.. he kicked my other leg yesterday before algebra ended.. and today, my friend jacki was over and he kicked me in the hip (very bony) so i started to cry and all. is he considered abusive ? what do i do ? (link)
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I dnn't know how old you are or how old he is. The reason I ask is that some of my research in college was on Human Sexuality and we had shown that some of the paraphilias begin at a young age (paraphilia is like different things that bring "sexual" excitement- you know like some people like feet etc.). I'm not going to go into all of that now, don't worry :).
The best thing that I think that you should do is remember what was his response when you started crying. Did he apologize constantly and just hold you and keep apologizing. Did he not take it seriously? The second thing is to tell him that you really don't like being hit all the time, and find out what his response to that is. If he agrees and apologizes- then things should be cool. If he keeps hitting you and seems to like you- then I would say that this is just a bad characteristic that he has that no one should have to put up with it (he could have picked it from a lot of different places). No woman ever deserves to be abused physically or emotionally. You deserve someone who will protect you not hurt you.
Hope things work out for the best.
Yours,
Arun
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me and him are really good friends and i know that im kind of the rebound girl and i kinda made him sound really bad..but he's not like that..its hard to explain..but thanks for your help (link)
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You didn't make him sound that terrible. I have been in love with the wrong woman too (you know the one that no one understands why I would like them etc.). I guess that I was a bit more blunt b/c I know the heartache that someone goes through when that person moves on or doesn't notice you or what have you. It can be devestating. You sound like a great girl and you deserve a guy who will put you in his personal shrine- that he thanks God that you are in his life- and is grateful just to have you in his life. That is the kind of guy- you really should have. You may not think that they exist, but they do, its just a matter or opening your eyes.
I wish you the best.
Yours,
Arun
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i heard that when you drink up water it makes yur metabolisn faster because yur body thinks its cold and needs to warm up so it works extra hard. an i also heard it yur always really cold then you have a fast metabolisn..well i was wondering if any of those are true? if you aren't totally sure please dont answer. thank you:) (link)
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Chemistry has come back to haunt me :). It is true that drinking colder water (less than 98.6 degrees) does increase your metabolism b/c you body has to transfer energy (which gets from burning calories) to the cold water to make it body temperature. Although this energy consumption is minimal in the grand scheme of it. However, water is used as a tool by your body to turn fat and other things into usable energy (damn you biochemistry!). Also, the eight glasses of water a day thing is a myth though. Everyone is different, plus a lot of the foods that you eat have water in it so that contributes to your water intake. Also I find it funny that its 8 cups of water (8 oz= 1 cup), so that's where it came from. Good rule of thumb is that you should be urinating at least 2 times a day, and the urine should look dilute (less yellow- clearer the better). You just have to remember that you need to keep hydrated (other signs you may be dehydrated- dry mucous membranes- mouth, nose, eyes + tenting of skin (pinch your skin up and if it stays, you're not getting enough water + blood pressure drops (you get dizzy when you stand up b/c your blood pressure drops).
As for the cold thing- yes it does make your metabolism faster (energy is burned and needed for shivering), however there are some other problems that may occur if this is a chronic thing (say your finger or lips are always a blue color).
Sorry for the long answer but I spent a fortune on taking those damn chem classes so might as well use it.
Good luck,
Arun
P.S. (Useless info: In trauma surgery- if a patient comes into the ER who is in shock, the first thing you do after your ABC's (Airway, Breathing, Circulation) is 2 Large bore IV with 2 liters of lactated ringers (iv fluid) as fast as possible) This is like a reflex thing you say on every trauma question in surgery for those who may go to medical school. Later.)
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Almost exactly a year ago i made a BIG mistake. I was going through a depression and I felt horrible about myself, and my best friend's boyfriend was also one of my best friends. We talked all the time but before he started dating my best friend he liked me but I just didn't see him that way. Well while i was goign through my depression he was really there for me and he made me feel really good about myself. And somehow he managed to talk my way into having sex with him... while he was still with my best friend. Now i know that it sounds horrible but honestly i am NOT that type of girl i am like an awesome friend and i'd do anything for anyone because i'm just like that. After i did it i cried for like weeks. It took about 3 months until my best friend found out and she was crushed. This just through me into a deeper depression. But eventually she forgave me and now we will still talk and such but we are nothing like we use to be, and nor do i expect us to be. But the thing is is i still can't get over it, even though she forgave me its like i can't forgive myself. I drive myself crazy thinking about what a horrible thing i did and how horrible of a person i am. I honestly feel like shit everyday because it doesn't get out of my head, everytime i see her i think to myself how couldi have done that to her i am jsut a bitch. And like i just put myself down so much. I've only had sex with 2 guys in my whole life but i feel like a total slut. And i should i think. I'm starting to fall back into my depression and it is driving me crazy. I got over it for a few months but now its just all starting to bother me again. I don't know how to deal with it. Does anyone have any ideas on how i can rid myself of this uncontrollable guilt? i mean i know i should feel guilty but i honestly feel likei am driving myself crazy. Thanks so much (link)
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It isn't your fault. You said it yourself that you were going through an episode of major depression. During that time, you are in a vulnerable state and it has been shown physiologically that judgements and advanced thoughts are affected toward the negative ( same mechanism why people in depression drink heavily, eat tons of food etc.). It isn't your fault because you weren't able to see through it, and I actually blame the guy b/c he took advantage of you in a depressive state (side note: a friend of mine hit on one of my female friends after her brother died- and now they're married- needless to say I'm not friends with them anymore).
You're not a slut by any stretch of the imagination. The best thing to do is to find someone to talk about your guilt, whether it be a counselor or your best friend about what had happened. You may be suffering from major depression too Criteria for depression that psychiatrists use (http://www.psychologynet.org/major.html). You need to talk to your doc and maybe he can get you started on an anti-depressant. (I know that sounds bad but all types of people are on them).
If you don't want to do this there is one thing that you can do by yourself that may help you- we tell a lot of people to do this in therapy.
Keep a thought diary. On the page make two columns. One column you write down the negative thoughts that you have. Afterwards in the other column, you write down why that thinking is not right. This way you'll be able to put your emotion into concrete terms and then be able to realize that you're not whatever that bad thought it was (It involves Beck's Theory on Depression- which you'll learn in college if you take psychology). Before you know it, you may think of a bad thought (guilt etc.) but instantly be able to think that is not the right way to think.
Hope that things go better. If you need anything, drop a line.
Yours,
Arun
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Okay well I am a 17 female and i will be 18 on Saturday. Lately i've had really low self esteem which is really strange for me. I'm a good athlete and I have no problem with my looks or my body, and I have lots of friends. But for some reason lately I just get this vibe from EVERYONE that i'm just not wanted. And it is for no particular reason, nothing has changed and i haven't gotten into any fights with my friends or anything. Its so weird, like for example, if one of my friends calls one of my other friends when i am with her i will feel hurt becuase she didn't call me, which i know is really silly and i've never been like this in my life. One of my teachers didn't agree with an opinion i gave in school today and she agreed with one of my friends and i just automatically thought that she hates me and doesn't like me which i know is obsurd. In my head i know i'm acting ridiculous but I'm still hurt everytime something small like this happens. I'm starting to feel really bad about myself and I can't figure out why, but it's driving me crazy. I won't even go to partys anymore becuase I feel like no one wants me there, but I have no reason to think this. I'm becoming very antisocial and this definitly isn't me. I'm desperate for some help! (link)
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You're righat at the age that most women start feeling some signs of depression. I don't know how long you've felt like this, but I'm not of the school that you shoudl start medicating at the first signs of depression.
Below is what psychiatrists use to "define depression"
Diagnostic Criteria http://www.psychologynet.org/major.html
1. At least one of the following three abnormal moods which significantly interfered with the person's life:
1. Abnormal depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
2. Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
3. If 18 or younger, abnormal irritable mood most of the day, nearly every day, for at least 2 weeks.
2. At least five of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2 week depressed period.
1. Abnormal depressed mood (or irritable mood if a child or adolescent) [as defined in criterion A].
2. Abnormal loss of all interest and pleasure [as defined in criterion A2].
3. Appetite or weight disturbance, either:
* Abnormal weight loss (when not dieting) or decrease in appetite.
* Abnormal weight gain or increase in appetite.
4. Sleep disturbance, either abnormal insomnia or abnormal hypersomnia.
5. Activity disturbance, either abnormal agitation or abnormal slowing (observable by others).
6. Abnormal fatigue or loss of energy.
7. Abnormal self-reproach or inappropriate guilt.
8. Abnormal poor concentration or indecisiveness.
9. Abnormal morbid thoughts of death (not just fear of dying) or suicide.
3. The symptoms are not due to a mood-incongruent psychosis.
4. There has never been a Manic Episode, a Mixed Episode, or a Hypomanic Episode.
5. The symptoms are not due to physical illness, alcohol, medication, or street drugs.
6. The symptoms are not due to normal bereavement.
Although for you, I would not medicate or what have you for depression. You are at a major stepping stone of your life- you'll officially be an adult. It is a time of self-reflection and doubt. You may feel that you are now an adult and that you aren't fun anymore b/c you're not technically a kid either. If you really feel down, you can talk to your parents about these feelings or friends that you may feel might understand. They can support you during this time and your best friends will always see you through your hard times (if not, then they are not really your friends).
If it continues though where it really starts to effect your sleep, work, and health then you may want to talk to your doctor about it. give it time though and hoepfully it will pass.
Best of luck,
Arun
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ok.. well.. heres my little situation! im about 5'6 and i weigh 106. yeah i don't like my thighs very much.. i mean they're small.. but big. yeah that makes sense right? haha i know it doesn't. anywaysss well im going to california in march and i want to maybe loose 2 or 3 pounds to weigh 104 or 103. i don't want to be anorexic about it or anything even though i act kind of anorexic sometimes. yeah i don't know if i should try lose a couple pounds or not.. i mean i know im skinny.. i guess but w/e. do you think i need too? and i dont eat that much already so what would a healthy (atleast somewhat) way to do this?
thanks.. srry its long-ish (link)
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you need to lose 2-3 lbs in about 5 weeks?
The best thing to do is to calculate your basal metabolic rate and then cut that down by 250 calories a day. That way you lose a pound every 2 weeks. Its not that much. THe link below will take you where to get your basal metabolic rate.
2. If you want to firm up your thighs then a good program of cardio and leg exercises are best. However, you may not lose weight b/c converting fat into muscle will make you gain weight.
You need to alternate your workouts (30-45 minutes a day). Do one day of cardio (running, elliptical, bike etc.) then You'll want to do leg strengthening muscles which includes lunges, squats, abduction and adduction exercises (raising one leg away your body and vice versa across your body). There are four major parts of your legs you need to work on (the back of your leg (hamstrings) - the front of your leg - your inner thigh area- and the side of your leg.). Doing leg curls and presses usually handles the anterior and posterior (front and back). Also, the abduction and adduction hip exercises works inner and outer leg. It'll take time but if you stick to it you'll get great legs and at the same time you'll get a nice backside, lower abs, and calves.
Good luck and have fun,
Arun
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Well I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now. We're both 17, I'm a junior and he's a senior which means he'll be graduating this year. We're really close and madly in love. I'm just really afraid of what will happen when he goes away to college. All the colleges he has applied to are somewhat close to here besides one. I watch movies and shows and see couples break up all the time with the whole college situation. I was wondering what other people thought about my situation. I love him so much, and we're both willing to try and make it work. I'm just really scared, it's crazy what love can do to you. So I was wondering if anyone could suggest anything..thanks a bunch (link)
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I hate to say this but my freshman year of college, I was the other guy that the girl cheated with. My first girlfriend in college was from Colorado and had a boyfriend of a year and a half who was int he Air Force Academy. Originally we were just friends, but we really clicked and finally after a while we started "dating". She was ashamed of it, and I was too. (we never went all the way, because I didn't feel right about it). She kept telling me that she was going to break up with him, but she didn't.
We had a terrible breakup that I actually transferred University b/c I was so heartbroken. However it worked out for the best. She went back to him for a while and then they mutually decided that they weren't meant for each other.
So do expect that things might be a little strange, but he will be adjusting. I'm sure that he loves you very much and will not jeopardize that. You should give him the freedom to go out with friends and what have you, and you should do the same, but always keep the lines of communictaion open and be honest with each other and yourselves. It is in college usually that people "figure out" what type of people they really are and he's going to do that and you're going to do the same thing when you're in college. Have faith, keep talking, and things will always turn out for the best.
Yours,
Arun
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I really really like this guy, and he totally leads me on and he was all over me a few weeks go but he has a girlfriend but he totally flirts. it's so confusing. he always hints stuff out like he would like me but i hear so much i hear that he thinks im annoying cause i like him while he has a girlfriend but one of his bestfriends said its not true and he talks about me all the time and he likes me alot but see i dont know if that means that he likes me likes me or just likes me. and everytime he sees me in school he like talks to me or finds a way to say hi and he looks pretty much a lot..do you have any advice on how i can tell if he likes me or what i shoudld do..i am just so confused..help me, please
singed - confused (link)
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The best thing that you probably can do is just to talk to him about it in private. I know that in middle/high school there is a partiuclar status quo that has to be filled, where he may say things to his friends about you being annoying or what have you, and him staying with his girlfriend. You may want to talk to him in a place where it is kina "public" so that he can't try to make a move on you. You can try the phone, however, face to face is better b/c body language reveals a lot more than just a voice.
However, I hate to say it though, this guy, from what you have said, isn't someone who can be truly faithful per se. If he breaks up with his girlfriend for you, what are the expectations? He'll have the track record of doing things like that and you don't sound like the person who would want that to happen to you. Anyway, do you want to be a rebound girl? Maybe he's been planning to dump his girlf for a while now and just wants someone else lined up? I know a lot more questions, but I just don't want you to hope too much for this and then to find out that it isn't what you expect. Go into it with an open mind and take your time- develop your friendship and slowly over time, trust will happen to. Friendship, love and trust are the major things that all good relationships need, but that always takes time.
Sorry for the long comment.
Yours,
Arun
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Hey everyone,
Me and my boyfriend have been going out for like 2 months now, and I can tell he wants to kiss me, but i dont know if i want to, he asked me before and i said no, but that was like a month ago, what should i do???? (link)
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First, I think thta it's great that he stuck around for a month after he asked you if he could kiss you (eh some guys are just arses and chivalry seems to be a dying trait- yes, I am a guy).
Okay, but if you don't feel ready to kiss him yet, just explain to him that you aren't ready for that. I feel that there may be another concern about the kiss that you have that you may want to share with him. He may want a reason, and this can open a conversation about it.
Most of all though, when the feeling is right- you'll want to kiss him. Let it happen naturally when you're ready. If he waited this long for it, then I'm sure he'll wait longer for you. When it does happen, it'll be more special, and you'll always remember it.
Best of luck,
Arun
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This is indeed the most overrated question ever asked by adolecents (I think...). To keep it short and simple; I'm love this boy but I cannot summon the courage to tell him. Now to extend the situation; This boy, is actually a friend of mine. He's intelligent, has a pinch of humor, and is cute - not that the last two adjectives play a part in this. Anyways, I have him in a class of mine this year and our friendship developed tremendously as I got to know him and before you know it, I realized I loved him sincerely. I really wish to tell him, but I'm worried about a few factors. 1. You guessed it, fear of rejection. 2. As I stated earlier, he's intelligent and may not care for the "love" thing that most teenagers are into. And another thing, I can be seen as somewhat intelligent and it would be odd for me to want a boyfriend. 3. His parents may not think I'm worthy of their precious son. Goddess, help me and thank you for any advice. (link)
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1. "Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." (sorry one of my favorite quotes). It appears to me that keeping this "secret" inside of yourself is really gnawing at you. I think that you're probably afraid that the strides that you made in your friendship may diminish if you tell him how you feel about him. It may be worth just asking him out to coffee or something more casual and then in the course of the conversaton asking him about possibly dating or going out more socially. For all you know, he may like you the same. I always believed that the person we are meant to be with are not only our love but our best friend too. It sounds like you have the friend part down, now it's time to see if the love can happen. If you don't you may regret it and you will always play the game of "what if". Tis better to know than not. (yes i purposely used the word "tis").
2. Why would it be a weird thing for an intellectual person to want a boyfriend? Granted I may not be a teenager anymore, but I know a lot of intellectuals that are still with the girl that they went out with during their senior year of high school. Actually #1 and #2 in my med class are a guy and girl that have been dating since high school. They're the smartest people I know. Everyone wants companionship, love, and to connect with someone on a deeper level. It's genetic, and those that say they don't, they do but may be afraid of being rejected or what have you. Everyone, whether they admit it or not, wants to be in love and find that one person they can be whole with.
3. His parents may not think you're worthy for him? I know how that can feel (I come from a very traditional family, only child- last member of the family tree), so they're very protective of me. They may be protective of him too, but don't judge them too quickly. THey want their son to be happy and if he's happy with you, he'll let them know and they'll accept you. Parents want their kids to be happy- I'm sure you can make him happy- so they'll accept you. Don't jump it though and start worrying about that. He'll fight for you when the time comes. Just be with him and enjoy your time with him.
Best of luck + take care.
-Arun
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If a guy doesn't bust during sex is that a bad thing? I mean we do it all the time and it usually turns out normal.. but the last time he said he was done but he never reached his climax. is it just that sometimes people want to, but they just can't? Or is he just tried of having sex with the same one person all the time? I love him alot and im scared that he's getting bored with me......? Please Help (link)
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Contrary to popular belief- ejaculation and orgasm are two seperate entities. It is possible to have an orgasm without as you say "busting" during sex. Although, the two are usually linked.
There could be a lot of reason why things may have been different. You did say that you do it all the time and it usually turns out normal, but there are times when the reserves may be "empty" and not that much ejaculate (semen) comes out.
Aorgasmia, which is the inability to reach orgasm, usually seen in women but studies have shown it can happen in men, means that a person can't have an orgasm which is usually because of social, psychological, or other factors (not necessarily physiological). You're a very caring person to be concerned though. The best thing that I think that you can do is to ask him if there is something wrong. He may be worried about something and that night just wasn't into it. It doesn't mean that he's tired of having sex with you. The best thing to do is to open a line of communication. Also, if you are concerned about variety in your sex life there are a lot of books that you and he can read together that may bring some variety (which can be found at any major bookstore- you don't need to go to a seedy one).
Sorry for the long answer. Best of luck.
-AK
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I really want to be an actress is there any tips or any like camps i could go to? (link)
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It all really depends on what kind of actress you want to be (musical v drama etc.). I don't know what area you live in but a lot of the proper stage theatres have young people summer workshops that you can go to.
For example in Chicago they have the Steppenwolf theatre, which was started by John Malkovich and Gary Sinise, which have programs for teens. Check it out (http://www.steppenwolf.org/education).
But a lot of theatres have education programs like that, so you can contact the theatre and ask them.
Hope that helps a bit.
Best of luck on your future pursuits.
-Arun
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I don't know. My friend is super skinny and everytime I see her I get jelous. People tell me that i am skinny as well, but when i see people skinnyer than me i feel bac and sometimes i stop eating. Please any advise? 5'7 122 lbs (link)
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You're probably sick of people telling you that you're already skinny, but I think that it is an interesting question that you asked.
Everyone does have a different body type, that's why a lot of the "healthy weight charts" have body types. You may be of a different body type.
Also, why do you think that you need to be skinnier? I know a lot of people who had eating disorders and they always think about stuff like that. Also remember you may have more muscle than your friend- muscle weighs more than fat. If you want to be more lean then exercise is the best way to go, but make sure you eat healthy (protein etc.) so that your body can properly change that fat into muscle. Drink plenty of water etc.
I'm sure you're a lovely person the way that you are and if you want to be healthier that's noble, but do it for yourself and do not compare youself to others. We're all different.
Any other questions- let me know.
Good luck,
Arun
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i need a way to lose wweight fast, in like the next few months but because i am only fifteen i am not allowed to get certain things from sites such as www.ediets.com. I am fifteen and weigh 194 i am about 5 ft 8 in and would like to get sown to atleast 160 and 150 would be AMAZING!!!!!!!! can anyone suggest something that would work?
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Losing 35 or more pounds in a short period of time can be somewhat dangerous. Most docs recommend that you try to lose only a pound a week (something like 5 lbs a month). First the problems with rapid weight loss is that more than likely the weight will come back, if you lose more than 3-4 lbs a week you could develop gallstones (you have a gallbladder in your body that has bile in it, which is a substance that your gut uses to break down some of the foods that we eat in your intestine. If you lose a lot of weight there is a greater risk that stones will develop in the gallbladder and cause obstruction and other medical problems), also if you go too fast you may have a lot of loose skin that didn't have the time to "firm up".
All right, now that I've given you that info, this is some things that you can do to lose some weight and be healthy.
1. Calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate (http://www.room42.com/nutrition/basal.shtml). This number is how many calories your body needs to function everyday.
2. Reduce this amount by 500 calories a day (so in a 7 days you'll lose a pound 3500 calories= 1lb.). But if you wanted to drop a bit more than this you would cut out the appropriate amount.
3. Exercise. Your body is able to adjust to burn a lot less calories if you starve it from its regular intake. It forces your body to convert fat into energy.
4. Eat healthy- avoid foods high in fat, sugar (even some fruits have high sugar content), and processed carbs (brown rice for example is excellent). It is important to eat protein esp after you exercise b/c this is the time your body is healing and building muscle the most.
5. Eat frequent meals- up to 6 small meals a day. You want to keep a steady blood sugar level. If you starve your body, you will have to eat, but then your body will "learn" that it is being starved and start storing foods as fat.
6. Drink plenty of water- water is the substrate needed to convert fat into energy. Also, muscle in large part is water so it helps in the healing process.
Those are just a few suggestions that I have. Sorry for the long answer. Any more questions, drop a line.
Good luck,
Arun
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my boobs are always dry and itchy and there are black marks on them. why is that? and what should i do?
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The dry and itchy could be from a lot of reasons from them being irritated to an allergic reaction to a moisturizer or detergent you wash your bra in. Most of the time, esp in the dry weather of winter, this can happen and you just have to make sure you use a good moisturizer.
As for the black marks its hard to tell what they could be without knowing more detail for them. However, the only person that can tell you what it is your doctor. I don't know how old you are but it may just be some extra pigmentation, could be another allergic reaction, or it could be something more serious, but you should have them checked by your doctor.
Hope this helps,
Arun
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I am very new to this site and have only heard GREAT things about it. I have a very important question… I have never had a date on Valentine’s Day EVER!!! What can I do to make guys like me? I am very outgoing and intelligent. I am not the prettiest person in the world but definitely not the ugliest. If anyone can help, I would love to hear someone else’s opinion. Any help will do...Thanks!
▀▄▀▄bluentriste▄▀▄▀
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Someone once told me that you can't look for love, it just happens to you when you least expect it. I don't know how old you are or your particular situation, but I think that these words apply to everyone.
They'll be plenty of Valentine's Days, which will be very special for you.
But in general, be yourself. There are probably already guys that like you and have a crush on you, but are too afraid to talk to you. You want guys to like you for who you are and not the mask that you may put on for a party or what have you. Love is supposed to be comfortable- you can't be comfortable when you have to act like someone you aren't.
In due time, they'll see you for the diamond that you really are.
Good luck,
Arun
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Hi, I need some advice. See, I want to gain weight and get on a healthier diet and stuff. Right now I weigh about 104 and I'm 5'3. I'd like to gain some more weight but not in my stomach, more so everywhere else(legs, arms, butt, etc) So, I was wondering, how do I gain more weight without the weight without it all going to my stomach and still staying healthy? Also, I'd like to be able to have more energy to do activities and stuff but sugary stuff just brings my energy up and then when it goes away, I'm really tired. Is there anything that will make me more naturally energetic? Does anyone have any tips on how I can..
-Gain weight without it going to my stomach but still going everywhere else
-Have more energy without eating sugary products
Thanks so much (link)
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The best thing you can do is get on a regiment of weight training and diet. Proteins (esp when consumed after a workout) will help you build muscle. However, don't forget to eat complex carbs for energy (brown rice, wheat bread, granola), which also is generally good for you. Stay away from the processed carbs (white bread) and sugars. Fat is okay to have but make sure that it's unsaturated fats which is necessary for skin, nails and other body processes. Omega-3 fats which are in a lot of your "fattier" fish are great for you and are good for your heart too.
If you want to gain weight you want to figure out your basal metabolic rate and then increase your intake by 500 calories a day so then you add about 1 lb a week, which is a good amount. http://www.room42.com/nutrition/basal.shtml (website where you can calculate your basal metabolic rate)
Remember if you do start lifting to only lift every other day so that your body has time to rest and heal. Drink plenty of water (muscle in large part is water).
good luck,
AK
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does anyone no any really good books. My mom wants me to get into reading (i hate reading) so i need a good book thatti wont hate to read!
anything will do! thanks a lot! (link)
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If anything will do, and if you tell me what you'd like to read about but I love the Chuck Palahnuk (sp?) books- you know the guy who brought you "Fight Club". I've read a lot of his book and its a great mix of entertainment, perversion, psychological thinker etc. You may enjoy that, and if your mom wants you to read more "classics" look into some of the cool classics:
1. 1984- Orwell.
2. Brave New World- Huxley.
3. Clockwork Orange- Burroughs
4. Man in the High Castle- Philip K. Dick.
5. Tropic of Cancer- Miller.
A lot of bookstores have a table called "Banned books" which means that they were too "hot" back when they first came down. Often, they're entertaining reads.
Good luck,
AK
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im still pondering about what to get my boyfriend for valentines day before I put it off until the last minute...any cute suggestions? (link)
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I don't know how old you are so this may not apply but I know my older friends do this- you can make a "coupon" book with little favors that he can redeem during the year (ex: you'll cook him dinner, back massage etc.- let your imagination run wild)
Also, do something with him something that he really enjoys- tickets to a sports game, concert, or something like that.
Just another suggestion.
-AK
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