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Most Overrated Question of All
This is indeed the most overrated question ever asked by adolecents (I think...). To keep it short and simple; I'm love this boy but I cannot summon the courage to tell him. Now to extend the situation; This boy, is actually a friend of mine. He's intelligent, has a pinch of humor, and is cute - not that the last two adjectives play a part in this. Anyways, I have him in a class of mine this year and our friendship developed tremendously as I got to know him and before you know it, I realized I loved him sincerely. I really wish to tell him, but I'm worried about a few factors. 1. You guessed it, fear of rejection. 2. As I stated earlier, he's intelligent and may not care for the "love" thing that most teenagers are into. And another thing, I can be seen as somewhat intelligent and it would be odd for me to want a boyfriend. 3. His parents may not think I'm worthy of their precious son. Goddess, help me and thank you for any advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
1. "Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so." (sorry one of my favorite quotes). It appears to me that keeping this "secret" inside of yourself is really gnawing at you. I think that you're probably afraid that the strides that you made in your friendship may diminish if you tell him how you feel about him. It may be worth just asking him out to coffee or something more casual and then in the course of the conversaton asking him about possibly dating or going out more socially. For all you know, he may like you the same. I always believed that the person we are meant to be with are not only our love but our best friend too. It sounds like you have the friend part down, now it's time to see if the love can happen. If you don't you may regret it and you will always play the game of "what if". Tis better to know than not. (yes i purposely used the word "tis").
2. Why would it be a weird thing for an intellectual person to want a boyfriend? Granted I may not be a teenager anymore, but I know a lot of intellectuals that are still with the girl that they went out with during their senior year of high school. Actually #1 and #2 in my med class are a guy and girl that have been dating since high school. They're the smartest people I know. Everyone wants companionship, love, and to connect with someone on a deeper level. It's genetic, and those that say they don't, they do but may be afraid of being rejected or what have you. Everyone, whether they admit it or not, wants to be in love and find that one person they can be whole with.
3. His parents may not think you're worthy for him? I know how that can feel (I come from a very traditional family, only child- last member of the family tree), so they're very protective of me. They may be protective of him too, but don't judge them too quickly. THey want their son to be happy and if he's happy with you, he'll let them know and they'll accept you. Parents want their kids to be happy- I'm sure you can make him happy- so they'll accept you. Don't jump it though and start worrying about that. He'll fight for you when the time comes. Just be with him and enjoy your time with him.
Best of luck + take care.
-Arun
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1. The constant unknowing lasts far longer than the pain of rejection. Telling him as soon as possible will save you some pain and awkward feelings.
2. I'm not sure what intelligence has to do with feelings of love. No one on this earth is above feelings of love. It's true that love makes fools of us all, but that's not to say only the foolish can think of love.
3. His parents aren't an issue right now. Cross that bridge when you get to it.
My advice? Just tell him you have feelings for him. If he feels the same way, great. If he doesn't, you can talk it through. If you're both as smart as you say, it won't be as scary or awkward as you think. If your friendship is as good as it seems, it won't be affected very much.
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Just tell him how you feel about him and ask him not to take it seriously... I mean i don't think a guy can reject..
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