about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
My FAQ






Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

I am a Christian and last night it occured to me that God may not hear me, as I pray 'in my head' rather than out loud. Is my theory correct?

God can hear you, even when you don't actually talk. He can hear your thoughts, among other things.

I pray "in my head" because one, I don't like to wake my family, and two, because it feels more divine and reverent.

Like when you're in church, yes, you pray out loud with other people, but you also pray to yourself.


As long as you're praying reverently, God will hear you =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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16/f
i'm in love with this guy, hes the same age as me and everything about him is amazing, except one thing- he smokes pot. this is my #1 turn-off in a guy. he doesn't do it alot but i still don't like it. we've only been technically "dating" for a few weeks and i just recently found out- he didn't tell me, idk if he was going to or not, but i dont know what to do, should i stay with him?

Talk to him about it, and if he's willing to TRULY give it up for you, then I would stay with him. If he lies about it or anything shady, don't hesitate to dump him.

It's alright to have standards, especially when it comes to drugs or alcohol. If he's worth staying with, he'll give up smoking pot for you.

--Jack
(16/m)

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Ok so its really starting to bug me..X & O..Which is Hug..and which is Kiss??

X is hug.
O is kiss.



--Jack
(16/m)

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I am 15 years old and I am from Guam... English is not my first spoken language... But I will try to use proper english in as much ways as I was taught... Okay so one of my bestfriends is a guy and we are jus so close that his friendship means more to me than anything else... The problem is... We've gotten so much closer over the years that we have been friends for... We've been friends for 9 and a half years... I started growing feelings for this guy and his friend says that he feels the same way... I want to go out with him but then I don't want to put a strain on our friendship... I know that usually when people break up their friendship doesn't always survive... And I wouldn't want that to happen... I don't know what to do about this situation... Please help me... Thank you...

First of all, I would like to thank you for your attempt at correct grammar and such. You did fabulous for English not being your first language. In fact, if you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have guessed it. Congratulations for setting an example for people =].

If you don't want to put any possible strain on the relationship, then you don't have to. It's ALRIGHT to just be friends. I've had to make the same decision about not dating friends over and over again, so I know how you feel. You're only a teenager and you have plenty of time ahead of you to date, so what's the rush to do it now? Being friends is what you know is good- so why not keep it that way?

--Jack
(16/m)

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15/F

Ok, so i started masturbating a couple years ago. it felt amazing, but now I don't get any pleasure from it.

Any suggestions on making me get more pleasure? Thanks alot!

=]

We actually are not allowed to provide sexual advice like this, but I believe we can give you links.

http://www.letsmasturbate.com/women/

There you go.

--Jack
(16/m)

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i ahve a best friend, but she's a slut, and i have tried to talk to her about it, but she doesn't care, and shes really meann too. and when we fight shes always like, you're a slut, and such a bitch, when its the other way around, and she doesnt think shes a slut, she talks behind the girls' at school who do that stuff too behind theirr backks, and she doesnt even realize shes doing half the things she does, and it gets on my nerves! please helppp! :[

Since you've already tried talking to her, I would say there's nothing you can do to change her. Looks like she's pretty set on her ways.

If you wanted to, you could just not be her friend anymore, which may be easier said than done, but still. It doesn't sound like you guys really treat each other as friends anyway, calling each other sluts and bitches and all.

--Jack
(16/m)

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so i know this guy and he goes to another school. we did text alot from when i met him for a couple weeks and we would flirt and stuff (but it seemed like i texted him first most of the time.. which i thought was weird) and my friend looked on his facebook and it said he had a girlfriend! so one day i asked him if it was true and he said yes but he "didnt want to just be like 'i have a gf!' " and i never talk to him again. so we still talk alot just not as much (and i still feel like hes kindof flirting with me). so when i first found out he had a gf i had to kindof forget about liking him and become one of his friends.. now the more i talk to him the more i think he is the best guy and im starting to like him again. he never says anything about his gf. hes never even told me her name or said that theyre hanging out or anything! my friends say that they think he likes me or isnt too interested in his gf. im really confused on how to feel about him and what he really does feel about me (and i really dont want to ask..!). what do you think??

You can't trust that he likes you [only] until he doesn't have a girlfriend. Once she's out of the picture, if she ever will be, the maybe I can see something happening. But until then, although he may like you, I wouldn't try to make a move on him or anything. Just be patient.



**EDIT**

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.


--Jack
(16/m)

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15/f

hey i have a question.. i recently met my friends cousin that is a grade younger than us.. (were sophmores and hes a freshman) and hes really nice and stuff but we only hung out once with a group of people and then i text him sometimes but do you think it would be weird to like him because he is a grade younger than me? and i am always the one to text him first.. do you think that means anything or do you think we just need to hang out more? because i layed off the texting a bit so he wouldnt think im annoying or desperate and i want to hang out with him more its just that i hope my friend doesn't mind even though he has a girlfriend (my friend)

thanks in advance! :)

If he has a girlfriend, I wouldn't really hang out with him much, because she won't be very happy about that.

It's not weird to text someone a year younger than you.

--Jack
(16/m)

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15/f

ok this might sound totally weird but when you finger yourself what hole does your finger go in?.. and like if you can fit 2 fingers rather than 1 does that mean you finger yourself more? and one more thing.. is fingering 2nd or 3rd base? just checking.
thanks

I'm sorry but I know nothing about fingering. Try asking to the pool, because I don't have any knowledge about this subject, nor do I know why you're asking me about this =/.

Sorry.

--Jack
(16/m)

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How do you know when you are completely over some one and ready to date again becasue I am in a bit of this sitation..after I broke up with my intense boyfriend..like 2 weeks later I am going out with another guy..is that okay or am i moving too fast and not thinking about what might happen?

ps-I'm just a teenager..

Thanx a bunch!

Part of being a teenager is deciding who you are. If you easily move on from someone, there's nothing wrong with that, though some people may say that's too fast. Personally, I wouldn't date anyone for a month after I ended a relationship, but that's just me. You do what feels right for you. =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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I LOVE this guy but he has a girlfriend! We went ot a party and made-out the whole time and h e said he loves me but he won't break up with his other girlfriend! I said if you love me u'll break up with her. Then we randomly started making out and I love him sooooooooooooo much. What should I do!?!?!

Get over him. He's just playing the field. If he really "loved" you like he said he does, he wouldn't go make out with some other girl [though it was his girlfriend].

I think he just wants to surround himself with girls, and I would really hope you don't get caught up with him. There are plenty of guys who won't do this to you.

--Jack
(16/m)

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so if a guy jacks off and gets cum on his fingers then he fingers you can you get pregnat

Simple answer, yes.

Anytime sperm comes into contact with a vagina- pregnancy is possible.

--Jack
(16/m)

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I know your sick of this question but please answer it!! Yeah ok I do like a guy and I heard he likes me but I'm afraid to tell him I like him or ask him out to the school's dance. What should I do?

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=543173

From my friend Laura's answer:

Well, there are 2 major options you can go about to solve this problem:


1. Be blunt about it.
2. Be shy about it.


I highly suggest being blunt about it, and either asking him if he's into you too, or simply asking him out yourself. Guys like when girls show confidence, and there's no better way to show you're confident than walking up to a guy and asking him out!


Or, you can go the other route and be shy about it, possibly doing nothing to show him you're interested in him. Sometimes, people who use this method drop subtle hints such as smiling [which is common in girls and doesn't always show you're into a guy] or having a friend ask if he's into you [this only shows that you're too shy to do it yourself]. This option is really kind of stupid, and is used all too much...


As I always say:
Life is WAY too short to not take chances and risks once in a while. Why sit around wondering what could've been, what would've been and what should've been, when you can answer all of those questions and then some by being honest and telling a boy how you really feel about him?


--Jack
(16/m)

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i have NEVER had unprotected sex, and i am positive about that.. but i do have it a lot, all the time, even if its right before my period... the condom has never broke and we never used expired condoms and i never slipped off or anything like that.. BUT i was supposed to get my period 4 days ago. my period has been regular for over a year now and has never came late.. i told my boyfriend about it and asked him if hes ever 'went' inside me and he said no, even though we always use a condom, he pulls it out first just to be safe.. is there any chance that i could be pregnant? i did get sick and throw up about 2 days ago, but we ALWAYS use a condome, i dont know what this could be, please help =/

ANY time, and I mean ANY time you have sex, whether you are using a condom, he pulls out, or any other tricks, you RISK becoming pregnant. Yes, condoms work very well, but there's been a lot of people who have become pregnant despite the fact that a condom was used.

"Pulling out" does not work and will never work. There is something called pre-cum, which still contains some semen, which can impregnate you.

Wait a few days and take another test. If you stress about your period, it will be tricky and not come. Just relax. =]

--Jack
(16/m)

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i recently sold my house. and im moving and leaving all my freinds here. but i have my best freind in louisiana which is where im moving. and itsw my first year of high school. what do i do?

Here's how to survive high school:

I was a freshman two years ago- and I have to say.. it was one of the most scary things I've EVER experienced! I was thrown in the trash can on the first day and it was horrible. Some kid even had to go to the emergency room! It was the WORST first day of school of my entire life! I almost didn't go back!

Haha- so hopefully you didn't take that seriously- because it really wasn't like that at all. I always play that trick on people who ask this question. C'mon- I gotta have a little fun! High school is NOT scary. It actually is a lot more fun. You have more freedoms than middle school and you can take REALLY awesome classes. If you have to chance to take a Speech class- DO IT! You think it will be the dumbest class ever and you'll be really bored- but you get the chance to get really good at speeches- and you'll learn really awesome things! When you get to be a Junior/Senior- take AP and Honors classes- these will impress colleges and they will want you to go to their college if you do well enough on them.

People may tell you that Freshmen year doesn't count for anything- so slacking off won't matter until you're an upperclassmen. This is wrong. Colleges will look at your cumulative GPA- and that includes your freshmen year. Don't slack off; you'll regret it later.

Just to debunk the rumor- There is NOT a "Freshmen Friday". Sure, this used to exist back in the 60s and 70s, but it doesn't anymore. Any school that actually still does it will probably end up getting sued by a bunch of parents. So most don't do it. Chances are, your high school won't do it.

Here is my list of DOs and DON'Ts:

Do:
-Do all of your homework.
-Make new friends [some old ones will naturally just fade away] and do this by just starting up simple conversations with people- and it will eventually lead to a great friendship. Ask someone you may want to get to know for a pencil in class.. that's a classic. Sit with new people at lunch.
-Ask the teacher for help if you need it.

Don't:
-Don't talk to seniors.. they most likely DON'T like you. The won't give you any respect.
-Don't wear revealing clothing- seniors will automatically hate you.

All in all- if you just be yourself- you'll be fine. If you have upperclassmen in any classes- you'll get to know them over the course of the year- and you may end up meeting some really great people. I know that some of my best friends I met at school freshmen year- and most of them were 10th grade or older. Not all seniors hate you- some will be welcoming- but just assume the worst in them, at first. After awhile- you'll know who to avoid and who to warm up to. You'll be fine. Don't worry.






As for making friends, just relax and be yourself. People will appreciate you if you aren't pushy and you just be polite =].

--Jack
(16/m)

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Ok well im only 13/f and i get the feeling that i like NEED to have sex or something. is something wrong? and is there a way to "please" or 'fufill" this feeling?

That's puberty for you. Everyone goes through it, so you're normal. It's got odd timing, eh?

Really the only thing to do about it is to pick up a hobby that might distract you, or masturbate, and I don't feel right giving you a link on how to do that. You can search the internet for that...

--Jack
(16/m)

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trifling what does that mean when a guy says that to a girl

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/trifling

Lacking in significance or solid worth.

So the girl is useless or meaningless.


--Jack
(16/m)

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im fifteen.
and my boobs stopped like hurting (as in like growing pain stuff) for like a few months.
all of a sudden my boobs are killing hurting now like when i touch them.... why?

also when i squeeze my boobs i feel a hard part in them.. thats normal right?

and when i lie down my boobs get harder in a sense...?

does this happen to you?:S
i'm 34-36a

I would say everything is normal, but if you're ever worried about anything when it comes to your breasts or anything else with your body, DO NOT hesitate to ask your doctor. They will know if something is wrong and they can even give you tips on how to watch out for irregularities.

--Jack
(16/m)

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hey im 13/f and i have a boyfriend of 1 year. i love him so much! And we got talkin about sex, and he said that since ima virgine, he would be super carefull with me. and then i told him im scared of ending up pregnat, he said we wont have sex untill i'm ready but i really want to, we were going too hang out tonight at ten so whom ever reads this please give me some advice, cuz i need it. P.s I really wanna wiff him i just dont knoe what ta dp.
Love,
Lil Ms. Cunfuzzled

You're obviously not ready- not based on your age, but based on the fact that you're nervous. Whenever you're nervous it means you aren't ready, and when you aren't ready, you really shouldn't have sex. Unless you are 100% sure that you're ready, you're not.

If you decide to have sex with him, well then have him wear a condom, though you can still get pregnant with one. Obviously it lessens the chances enormously, but there's still a slight chance.

The only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is abstinence.

--Jack
(16/m)

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So i like this guy, he's going into high school and im going into 8th grade.(no problem, im going to be going to the same school) He took me to the 8th grade prom when my other plans cancled. He is even in my band class at school. He always listens to my problems and i help him with his. Both of us have shared about stuff normal people wouldn't and I trust him like he was my brother. We have a billion things in common and he is definately the sweetest guy i've ever met. My mom likes him too :) I talk to him about every day on myspace but i have no idea how to talk to him in real life! How do i know if he likes me? Most importantly, how do i be myself around him if i don't know what to do?

thanks,
alexa

http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=545090

From there:

www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing




--Jack
(16/m)

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