"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn
I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.
I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.
"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde
So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.
I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.
I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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15/f
okay so i have a sweating problem. I could be sitting in first period, just sitting and start sweating for no reason and i'll start getting wet stains on my underarms. it's sooo embarrassing and i can't wear clothes i want to. i don't know what to do. i've been using secret clinical strength for like a year and it still doesn't work. should i like try guys deodorant or something? can my doctor help?
i'm desperate i've had this problem since 7th grade.
any advice would be great, thanks! (link)
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You should see a doctor about the problem if you have tried a few different deodorants and they aren't helping. Try switching to other brands before you give up though, including the few brands I've listed below.
Some people just naturally sweat more than others. It could be a hereditary condition called hyperhidrosis, but you'd have to see a doctor for that diagnosis.
Obviously, they now have the prescription strength over-the-counter formulas out there for women since you have tried the Secret brand. Secret Clinical Strength and Certain Dri are both specifically made for this type of problem. You should check both of them out and follow the directions on using them (if you haven't) as I believe they have different application instructions than other deodorants.
Here is also a good link on some tips on controlling the sweat in the meantime:
http://www.ehow.com/how_6176_control-perspiration.html
It does add this that you may want to consider:
"If you perspire even when you're relaxed and the temperature is cool, see your doctor [as] it could be a sign of an underlying health problem."
So please consider that and make a doctor's appointment right away to get checked out and make sure everything is alright. A doctor will definately be able to help you with your problem.
...and this site:
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0846/is_12_23/ai_n6125734
...has this tip:
"Use an antiperspirant with aluminum chloride, which blocks pores to inhibit the release of sweat. Try the new Soft & Dri DermaStripe..."
I wish you luck on finding a good method to controlling your perspiration.
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my boyfriend and i wanna know can you get pregnant if you have sex while your on your period.also i would like to know if you think your pregnant and you come on your period does that mean that you are? (link)
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You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually.
There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.
Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is ALWAYS another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days--usually 5 - 7 days in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions. Taking this fact into consideration, you can technically become pregnant DAYS after your last sexual interaction
Many women do get pregnant during their period/right after their period. It is very possible and you should still be using "protection" during these times as well to decrease pregnancy chances.
So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur when you have sexual intercourse.
On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).
To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual actually. This is very important to understand.
Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice "safe" sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
As for your other question, some women do experience light periods during pregnancy. This usually happens during the first few months of pregnancy but it has been known to happen the entire course. If it is possible that you are pregnant, you can wait until your period is over (or a few days after it should be over if it skips this month) and purchase a pregnancy test from your local Wal-mart or various pharmacy (CVS, Rite-Aid, etc.). If you highly suspect you are pregnant and do not trust those sort of tests (yes, they can say you're not pregnant when you are) then you can make an appointment with your doctor to have an accurate pregnancy test done.
Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things. If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)
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I just found out today that I have genital herpes. I'm only 15, and it was my second time having sex with the same person. Don't tell me I'm too young or whatever. I know I was ready, and we've been together for a really long time. I'm really scared though. I'm having a hard time like, dealing with it. He thought he didn't have anything, but, I guess he did. I wasn't his first, but he was mine. My mom thinks he cheated on me, because, both her and my doctor said if he had it before the second time we had sex, I would've most likely gotten it sooner. What do you guys think? I'm so scared. Please help. I also just need ideas to help me cope with this. Wow. Who thought just one stupid mistake could mess my life up forever? (link)
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I know that I gave you some good information about herpes on your question before this one but I must have left something very important out.
Herpes is highly contagious, obviously, but if he isn't having an outbreak then chances are lowered of him passing it onto you. Skin cells are always being shed, which means the virus is as well and can be transferred that way. This means that he is always risking his partners of contracted herpes from him (you are too when you have sexual contact with someone) but it doesn't mean he will definately infected someone.
What I'm saying is, he could have had this for years and not been aware of it before having sexual intercourse with you. He also may have not been having an outbreak the first time you two engaged in sex, thus chances of you contracting it was a bit lowered. The second time you two had sex, he may have been experiencing an outbreak he wasn't aware of, or the virus decided to shed a lot more than usual that day and you contracted it.
Just as a side note, you may want to push for him to tell his previous partners about his STD so they can get tested for it. It is important to spread it as little as possible and if his past partners have it and aren't aware then they need to know so they can start taking care of it properly. This can be a very embarrassing thing for some people (it does take a bit of courage) but here is a website that allows you to e-send a heads-up anonymously:
http://www.inspot.org/tell-them/tell-them.aspx?regionid=48&sitelvl=1
The virus usually shows up 10 - 14 days after contracting it. There have been cases in which people have contracted the virus and did not have their first outbreak for months. This being said, there is no way to tell which sexual encounter left you with this STD.
You really need to sit down with your mother and research some facts with her about genital herpes so that some things are cleared up and she does not think negatively about your partner. Just because you did not have a visual outbreak the first time you had sex with your partner does not mean you did not contract it that time.
Here is a good link to start with:
http://herpes-coldsores.com/herpes_prevention_tips.htm
I also want to suggest that you find a new doctor. Apparently your doctor is not well-knowledgeable about the herpes virus and this really concerns me. I'm very concerned about your doctor's lack of knowledge and who you would be able to turn to if you could not find a reliable answer on the internet to a question regarding herpes.
I also want to suggest that you begin taking some vitamin supplements so your immune system is boosted and your outbreaks are lessened. You can purchase these at any pharmacy and even Wal-Mart. You do not need a prescription for any of them, and many websites claim these are very helpful:
*L-Lysine - Take between 1,500 - 3,000mg of this during an outbreak for 5 days. Then stop taking it for 7 days. Repeat this cycle until your outbreak has diminished. Do not take it longer than 5 days as your body will adjust to it and it will not be effective.
*Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids- Take between 1000 - 2000mg every day. You do not need to be experiencing an outbreak to take this and you should take it every day--your body will not become "immune" to it.
*Zinc - Take 20mg - 50mg per day, outbreak or not.
*Echinacea - Take for 2 weeks and then stop for 2 weeks. You may repeat process until desired time. Take 1000mg daily.
*Vitamin B Complex - Take one daily, outbreak or not.
*Herplex - Something at Wal-Mart that claims to help heal the sores. It says to take between 3 - 5 caplets (chewed) per day while you're having an outbreak. It has some really good stuff in it to help heal your body.
The more you stress, the more likely you are to experience an outbreak. What's done is done and there is no taking this back. Try to relax and tend to your body now. It is important to do everything you can to boost your immune system to decrease outbreaks. You should begin avoiding chocolate and sunlight, as both can trigger severe outbreaks. If you currently smoke, please try to quit so that your immune system raises again.
Try to abstain from sexual relations during an outbreak. Even though your partner is positive for herpes it is possible to spread it all around your bodies. Sexual encounters also may trigger an outbreak or cause it to become more severe so treat your bodies well and try not to have sex during times of outbreaks. It is also suggested to always use condoms during non-outbreak times to lower changes of spreading it then too.
I won't parrot what others said below about condom usage because it is true; however, I want you to realize that you weren't as prepared for sex as you believe. I do not want to sound harsh, but if you had been completely prepared you would have known your STD/STI risks and been knowledgeable enough to deal with possible consequences. It truly is a shame that you brought this on yourself and it's something you will have to suffer with your entire life, but it also can be a learning experience for you about jumping into the sack without research.
Having herpes does not make you dirty or gross. It just means that you need to take extra special precautions to protect yourself and others from this virus. Remember to wash your hands before and after touching that area and remember that if you ever become pregnant to let your doctor at that time know as soon as possible about it. ALWAYS inform future sexual partners about your STD before any sexual contact happens.
Please take time to research thoroughly. When you research something as much as you can, it seems less scary and a lot more manageable. I know it's a lot to take in so take plenty of time and learn as much as you can about your STD, what it does to your body, how to help it not spread, etc. This is important.
I hope that everything goes well. If you have any more questions regarding this matter please feel free to ask me :)
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13/F
I got a couple of questions about this kinda stuff, do you guys mind answering them?
1. Does you hymen break if you use tampons, just like having sex?
2. What would you recomend ; tampons or pads?
3. I've been getting discharge (not too heavy) nearly every day since 5th April, and i'm kinda worried; anything i can do/is it alright?
4. Is there any signs if i'm gonna start soon, cos i'm kinda worried about it?
Thanks lol :D
BTW should this question be in sex or somethin else lol ? thnx xx (link)
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I think it's great that you are asking questions before experiencing your period so you are well prepared for it. You should always research as much as you can about your body so you know what should be expected :)
To briefly answer your questions and include some tid-bits of information for further reference:
1. Your hymen can possibly break when inserting a tampon. Usually it only stretches the hymen a bit, but not all women are created equal and some just don't have as much elasticity as others. Some are so elastic-like that they can stretch enough to allow a penis to enter.
The hymen (or "cherry" as some younger generations refer to it as) usually has a small hole in it as it is. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without stretching/tearing.
It is rare but some females are born with an imperforate hymen--or a hymen with no opening. A doctor will do a simple surgery to create a hole in the hymen of these newborn females so that blood from later menstrual cycles does not back up into the body.
2. I definately recommend pads for your menstrual cycle. Pads can be worn during light days, heavy days, and even simple discharge days. Tampons can only be worn during your actual period or your risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome increases dramatically. You also do not need to worry about waking in the middle of the night to change your pad if you're not a heavy bleeder; however, with tampons they MUST be changed every 6 - 8 hours or bacteria will multiply so quickly it can cause some severe problems.
Symptoms of TSS include high fever, vomiting or diarrhea, severe muscle aches, a feeling of extreme weakness or dizziness, and a rash that looks like a sunburn. If you ever have these symptoms while wearing a tampon, remove it and tell an adult immediately. Have someone take you to the nearest emergency room as soon as possible.
The longer you leave a tampon in, the higher risk of TSS you are taking. Bacteria begin to grow in the warm, moist environment of your vagina. These bacteria can grow within the tampon, enter the body from inside the vagina, then invade the bloodstream, releasing toxins that can cause a very severe, life-threatening illness.
Tampons also pull a bit of your vaginal lining out when being removed, believe it or not. This is why many women who use tampons aren't as sensitive as they once were inside of their vaginas and why many tampon-users suffer from yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. The tampon also can leave particles behind from it, causing bacteria and yeast to grow on it. Another case is that women are frequently needing to purchase personal lubricant for sexual activities because their bodies have stopped producing enough natural lubricant to engage in such activities without problems.
Here are some good websites about why women should stay clear of tampon-usage. Theses sites are pretty darn interesting:
http://www.thekeeperstore.com/dangers-tampons/
http://www.thebody.com/content/art497.html
http://www.earthisland.org/journal/tampons.html
http://www.frontiernet.net/~ruthb/Tampons.html
3. Your discharge is probably just starting to become the same as a normal woman's. Sometimes other things can cause abnormal discharge so if you are experiencing something you feel is completely abnormal (like similar to cottage-cheese or a weird smell) you should make a doctor's appointment. Typically, your discharge follows as below:
* Before ovulation- There will be a small amount of (mostly) clear discharge.
* Closer to ovulation- Discharge is wet and sticky. It is usually white/lightly cream colored. There is usually some mucus but it isn't as stretchy as it will be during ovulation.
* At ovulation (roughly midway from your last period)- There will be a noticeably larger amount of discharge lasting a few days. It resembles stretchy egg whites. You are most fertile here (high risk pregnancy) and sperm entering your vagina will be able to survive slightly longer than other times.
* After ovulation- Discharge is sticky but not as stretchy. Mostly clear, dwindling back to the "before ovulation" stage.
Many things can affect your discharge such as yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis, hormonal birth control, and even antibiotics. Again, if things just don't seem quite right then it's best to get checked out by a professional to ensure you're healthy.
4. It does tend to be reported that there will be a slight increase in discharge before the first menstrual cycle than you are accustomed to (because what I've listed above has just began to happen to your body).
You may also notice that you become irritable or more emotional than usual before your first menstruation begins. You may crave odd foods--which usually means that your body is lacking something and needs more of before your cycle. Your breasts also may become tender. Around this time you may notice your hips widening, your breasts growing, thicker hair growth under your arms and in your pubic region, increase in underarm sweat, and acne.
It is probably a good idea to begin to carry around a menstrual pad or two in your purse/pocket to school in case you start completely unexpectedly. Some girls keep an extra change of clothes in their locker at school just in case of this emergency. You may also want to begin taking a good multi-vitamin to ensure that your body has enough nutrients.
And, for your very last question:
I think "health" was the right category to place this in :)
I hope that your first cycle goes well. If you have any more questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me :)
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my boyfriend has a huge penis and we had sex last night and i was bleeding i an only 4'11' so do u think maybe hes to big for me or what? (link)
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Actually, height really has nothing to do with vaginal sizing, believe it or not. Weight also has nothing to do with the sizing either so you could be very thin but have a wide vagina. It seems to be a common misconception that if you are a small person then you will have a small vagina but that isn't the case at all.
If this was one of your first few sexual encounters then it is possible that your hymen was torn during the process. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to naturally accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without being stretched.
If you do have vaginal intercourse and you do not completely break/tear your hymen it will stretch out and create a larger hole, just as your vagina will naturally stretch out to accommodate the penis. Some hymens are elastic enough to permit a penis to enter without tearing, or they will tear only partially, and there may be no bleeding at all. Usually women do experience some bleeding when penetrated.
Bleeding can also be a sign that you are not lubricated well enough. The friction that sexual intercourse causes can actually tear bits of the vaginal walls and cause the bleeding. Some women have problems lubricating their vaginas well enough naturally for penetration to be possible. You may need to invest in some sugar-free lubrication to help things along if you are going to continue engaging in sexual activities with your partner.
Also, an infection can be the culprit of bleeding during intercourse. Sometimes the infection is easily treatable but only a doctor can really tell if it's a yeast infection or bacterial. If it's bacterial then you will need a course of antibiotics to clear it up--if left untreated it can do major damage to your body and lead to infertility even. If it happens to be a yeast infection and your doctor confirms it, you will be able to purchase over-the-counter treatment such as Monistat (the 7 day treatment seems to be the best of the bunch).
There are also some women who have a bit of a problem with their cervix. The cervix is inside of the vagina, between the top of it and the bottom of the uterus. It is narrow and widens during childbirth to allow the baby to exit the uterus. It also allows menstrual fluid to be released from the uterus. Your cervix also works as a sort-of vacuum during sex--naturally pulling the semen from your partner into your uterus.
Sometimes a blood vessel in the cervix can become inflamed and irritated, causes it to engorge with blood. When the friction of the penis hits it, it may burst open and bleed.
This also may mean that your cervix is infected, usually caused by gonorrhea or chlamydia. It may be in your best interest to get a full STD/STI screening because if you have either of these it may cause some horrible problems down the road.
Also, cervical ectopy is common in young females (under 20) so it may be a concern for you. Usually the female is pregnant and is unaware as well so you may want to look into a pregnancy test if there is a possibility. In short, the fragile tissues that are inside of the cervix canal migrate to the bottom of it, becoming exposed to pressure and irritation from the penis during sexual encounters. This can cause it to become swollen and even more fragile actually so it's best to see a health care provider about it.
I am a bit concerned for your health and safety at this point so I feel I should include some links regarding sex. I really think it's best that you be as informed as possible so that if you run into problems you are able to seek the right sort of help.
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
The bottom line is, you need to make an appointment with your gynecologist to get checked as soon as you can. If it's something serious then it's best to know about it right away so you can get treatment and it doesn't progress into something more severe. You may want to postpone sexual activities until you have been seen at the doctor's office so that you do not make anything worse if there is something going on down there.
I hope you become more knowledgeable and find out that you are a healthy person. If you have any more questions regarding this subject then please feel free to ask me :)
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i always get these random red things on my vagina.
i know they arent pimples, because it doesnt look like one.
it looks like a semi large blood bubble or something. and its super hard to pop, when i finally get it to pop it get keeps bleeding.
what is it?
i know it cant be any kind of disease because im not sexually active, and its not a cut because i dont shave down there yet
thanks (link)
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It is probably in your best interest to see a doctor about this sort of thing while you are currently experiencing a sore. You should know that it is not normal to experience what you are having. We are also not doctors here so we cannot diagnose you properly but we can advise you to see a professional who can.
First thing is to stop touching the sore. If it happens to be something contagious then there is no point in possibly spreading it around yourself or onto other people. Even if it's just a skin infection, by bursting the lump it may spread the infection to other areas and you may increase the severity of it. Wear loose clothing so you do cause anything to rub against it more than it needs to. You probably also want to keep the area clean and dry--try using a soap for sensative skin areas and wear a pantyliner to cut down on moisture.
Before and after coming in contact with the sore remember to wash your hands thoroughly. There is no reason you should risk putting more dirt into the wound. There also no reason you should risk spreading it around to the surrounding skin or other places on your body.
Secondly, if you have been sexually active in your past then it could be a number of things. You do not currently need to be sexually active to be having an outbreak of an STD. Also, some people do not experience symptoms of their STD/STI for weeks, months, or even years. One sexual contact automatically puts you at risk for a whole bunch of possibilities.
Two things really come to mind on the STD matter and those are one of the strains of HPV that cause genital warts (by the way, Gardasil only helps to prevent four kinds of HPV while there are hundreds of strains so you ARE at risk even if you had the series of shots), and the possibility of genital herpes. Here is a link that shows photos of genital warts and of genital herpes:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
You can take a mirror and try to examine the sores with that and see if they look similar to any of the sores in those photos. Many of the sores look different so you may have one or the other and not experience the same visual signs.
Thirdly, it happens to be in some cases that parents give their children genital herpes. If the mother has an outbreak during delivery then the baby may contract it from her. Many children are born with STDs and aren't even aware of it because they have lived with the symptoms their entire lives. There also have been cases in which parents have changed their baby's diaper without washing their hands first and transmitted the virus to their infant.
Also, just because you do not currently shave your pubic hair doesn't mean you cannot get an infected hair; although, this is doubtful since it bleeds for awhile after you mess with it. You also should be washing at least once a day so if you're not it could simply be some sort of pimple, again doubtful since it continues bleeding. Lastly, there is such a thing as a boil (that will need to be lanced by a doctor because it is full of infection and blood) that some people experience on their rear ends if they do not bathe regularly and put a lot of pressure on the area--I haven't heard of this happening on vaginal areas but I suppose it could be possible.
Anyway, I suggest you make an appointment with your gynecologist as soon as you can so that they can swab the area and test for some things. When you call for an appointment, let them know that you have an open sore on your vaginal area that you feel should be checked out and, hopefully, they can make time for you very soon. Even if it is not an STD then they may still be able to prescribe something to get rid of these things you're having to deal with.
I hope things go well and you are healthy.
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ok i read that having sex can cause you to have a urinary track infection or whatever it is called. why is this? i dont see how sex can cause it. (link)
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The reason why people get urinary tract infections (UTI) when engaging in sexual intercourse is because during the activity some dirt, sweat, and dead cells can be unknowingly pushed into the urethra. It is common to go urinate directly after engaging in activities to lower the risks. Urinating directly after will help to push the dirt and such out of the way and it will not sit inside your body and cause infection. It is still possible to get this sort of infection even if you do urinate after sex but is less likely then.
Typical signs of a UTI is the painful urination, burning sensation during urination, more frequent urination, and the urine may also look or smell different from usual. Serious complications can result from an untreated UTI such as permanently damaged kidneys.
Also, that I am aware of, men also get UTIs. Men and women both should go urinate as soon as possible after engaging in sexual activity. Men are also more likely to get a UTI if engaging in anal sex because of the dirt being shoved against and into the urethra. Women are prone to getting a UTI if her partner adds a lot of pressure to her urinary tract for an extended period of time during sex, causing irritating and bruising that lead to the overgrowth of bacteria in the urethra.
The dirt carries bacteria into the urethra with it. Bacteria typically need a warm, moist environment to multiply in. Of course, your body happens to be a perfect temperature for this and the urethra is plenty moist enough. The longer the dirt is able to sit in the body, the longer the bacteria will have a chance to multiply and spread throughout the system. Once the bacteria begins multiplying (which it does rapidly) it can get really out-of-hand and need to be killed off with antibiotics.
There are plenty of other things you can also get from engaging in sexual activities such as: yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, HIV, HPV, and many other sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Remember that no "protection" is 100% effective on preventing transmission of STDs/STIs and pregnancy.
I hope I've cleared it up a little for you and you become more knowledgeable before engaging in sexual activities. If you have any other questions regarding this subject feel free to ask me :)
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Ok so I went out with my exboyfriend for a little over a year and we did it. It always burned and it burned to pee afterwards, but I thought there was no way I could have an STD because he had never done anything passed kissing a girl and the same with me with a guy. It never was enjoyable. I thought maybe I was allergic to the latex. We did it without one and it didn't really burn. Maybe a little so I'm worried now. I don't think its normal for it to hurt that much considering we did it like 100 times and the majority of the times it hurt and I never really got any pleasure. Please tell me your thoughts. I hope I'm just over reacting, but I think I might want to get tested incase. Please help me. =( (link)
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Honestly, there isn't any way to know if you have contracted an STD/STI from your past partner without a test. Many STDs/STIs (such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, herpes, etc.) have the symptom of "burning sensation while urinating" or "uncomfortable sexual activity" so it probably is in your best interest to get a full STD test done.
Symptoms of a latex allergy can include itching, dryness, rash, swelling, shortness of breath, and possibly watery eyes.
Even if your boyfriend was never sexually active with past partner that you were aware of, he could have simply caught something from his parents. Many STDs can be passed along to an infant during delivery or even routine diaper changing. The child can grow up being so accustomed to their symptoms/outbreaks they do not realize that they have something they can pass along to others.
Aside from that, your boyfriend may also have not been as truthful as he claimed to be. Some people are afraid to be open and honest about their past sexual experiences when they are young so they may lie to a new partner about previous activities. It also may have slipped his mind about some sexual encounter him and a past girlfriend had.
When you make the appointment for the test, make sure to ask them what STDs they typically test for. Many offices do not test for everything, believe it or not, and you really want the full deal when doing this. You may be able to request certain things to be added to the screening so make sure to let them know!
Things you want to be tested for (bring a list of it into the doctor's office with you to show them and make sure they have them all listed for you):
*Chlamydia
*Gonorrhea
*HIV
*Syphilis
*Herpes (make sure they take blood for this and do not try to swab areas for the test; you can be positive for it but not currently have an outbreak)
*Human Papilloma Virus (HPV or Genital Wart Virus)
*Hepatitis B & C
*Trichomoniasis
You may also want to go on and ask for them to see about vaginal infections. Request them to test for yeast infection and bacterial infection as they both have the symptoms you have described. If left untreated, bacterial vaginosis can hurt your body severely, leading to infertility.
The doctor's appointment should include them taking urine, blood, and doing a full pelvic on you (which you should be getting annually anyway). If they do not do one of these then they are not covering all that you have requested.
On another note:
If the doctor says that you have low chances that you have contracted something you list off, request it anyway. Let them know that you don't feel like risking your health any more and you may have been infected. Your health is important so do not let them slide on the testing. I also don't see why doctors do this since you're paying them for it, and the more testing you get done the more it may cost.
If it turns out that you are allergic to latex condoms then it does not mean you cannot use any condom at all. There are condoms that are not made out of latex that many people prefer to use. Some are made out of natural membrane from lamb, I believe, and some are polyurethane. The natural membrane kind is not as good to use because the pores are larger and allow transmission of STDs moreso than regular condoms.
One way to figure out if you truly do also have a latex allergy is to think back to previous doctor's visits. Almost all doctors and dentists use latex gloves now and that sort of exposure would cause your skin to become irritated when touched by their gloved hands. Latex products are all around you. Some common ones are: gloves, balloons, rubber bands, swim goggles, and pacifiers. Latex is also made out of the same things that bananas, chestnuts, and avocados have in them so you should experience issues when ingesting such foods.
Any way, I hope all goes well and you end up STD/STI free.
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This will be long, but I feel I need to give all the info for a good answer, will appreciate as many answers as possible, please and thank you. So, I am thinking of leaving the father of my child. He has not hit me in about 6 months. Before that though, I have had my head slammed into walls, hit in the back of the head with a fist, punched, thrown down, he held a knife to my throat and said he would kill me...been pushed and dragged in the woods, he said he could kill me if he wanted and cover it up because he had before, and also strangled two times, once while I was laying down breastfeeding my child. Now, the only evidence I have of this is that one of my friends saw bruises all over my body and another friend was there when I got thrown down while holding my baby. I never called the police because any time i threatened, phones have been broken and his family was very angry when my dad found out i was being abused and called the cops. his parents still do not believe their son is capable of harm and think I am full of shit. my family lives 2000 miles away. He also has broken almost everything I own that means something to me, including pictures of my dead pet and pictures of my best friend and I that are 10 years old. So my question is, without real proof, can I obtain custody of my child...and also, his family is wealthy and will buy the best lawyer around, and be there to support him, and my family is far away and i would have to settle with a public defender. I do not want my baby to never see his father, I know deep down that his dad loves him and it wouldnt be right to take him away. I just want to be the one in control so I can look out for the safety of my child. also, does it matter that he is supposedly "recovered abuser" since he has not hurt me in 6 months? I am very confused. he is also mentally abusive using words like "cunt" "stupid idiot" and "your the stupidest person I have ever met". He does not consider that abuse though. So any input on the outlook of my case if i decide to pursue it would be very helpful, and is there anything i can do about all my belongings that he has smashed and ruined? (one such item was worth $250) thanks very much (link)
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Contact your local Battered Women's shelter. If you don't know where it is, call the Family Violence Prevention Fund at 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233) for information on the shelter nearest you. They usually have some people there that help you fight for custody over children and press charges. They deal with this sort of thing--verbal, mental, physical abuse--every day and can probably lead you in the right direction. They may also help you find a way to reach your family so that you can live in a safe home there.
If you have reliable eye-witnesses to your abuse then you may be able to have them testify for you. Also, if you can somehow record your partner confessing that he has abused you before then that usually counts as something.
If you decide to stay in the situation you are in, purchase a camera and hide it. If he does damage to your body, have a close friend photograph you (you'll need to be able to see your face and all), revealing bruises. Also, it would be extremely helpful to contact your local police department directly after the abuse. Contacting the police directly after also proves that you are looking out for the safety of your child as well.
I'm doubtful you can do much about broken valuables since you've never gone to the police while the abuse was happening. I'm not sure how you would prove that he was the one that damaged the item(s). You'll need to speak with a lawyer or such about that.
If you are married to the person then things will be a little more difficult probably. If he does verbally confess to you that he has abused you then it cannot be used in court; however, if he confesses to a mutual friend that he has abused you then they can testify for you.
If you want your relationship to work out then you really need to push for the guy to get into therapy to control his aggressive outbursts. Any way it is, you should press him to seek counseling for his issues; though, I understand you may want to be settled into another environment before having this discussion with him. Please help him get help for himself when you're able to.
For custody purposes, you will have to prove that you can give the child a better life than your partner can. This means, you need to be in a stable environment with a job you're holding down. If you are on any medication, it's in your best interest to continue taking them to prove you are taking care of yourself. If you are currently doing drugs then you need to discontinue because a drug test may be administered at some point. You need to get moving with all of this if you are going to leave and go for custody now.
I hope things work out fine for you, your child, and your partner.
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Im 16 if anyone is wondering. Okay, so the last day of my period was saturday night, and my boyfriend and i had sex WITHOUT A CONDOM that day and the day after when i was just getting off of my cycle, but however he did cum inside me BOTH OF THOSE TIMES, and im NOT using birth control. stupid i know, i feel dumb as hell. but i know its really easy to get pregnant when your ovulating but im not to farmiliar with all that, so I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO! im going to take a pregnacy test if i dont get my period atleast a week after its missed.
but another thing, its getting kind of itchy down there and i started bleading again this morning!! what should i do!? (link)
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You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated but there isn't any way to know at the moment since it's so soon.
There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.
Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is ALWAYS another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days--usually 5 - 7 days in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions.
Many women do get pregnant during their period/right after their period. It is very possible and you should still be using "protection" during these times as well to decrease pregnancy chances.
So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur when you have sexual intercourse.
On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).
To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual actually. This is very important to understand.
Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice "safe" sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)
Also, your abnormal spotting could simply be blood that is still being expelled. Many women experience a little blood leakage after sexual activity directly after their period ends because the activity forces the rest of the remaining blood out quickly. If it isn't that, there is such a thing as implantation bleeding in which you lightly spot blood when the fertilized egg attaches to your uterine wall.
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
You will probably need to wait until your next period is due before a pregnancy test can show up correctly; however, you can also make an appointment at your doctor's office to get a pregnancy test done and it should show accurately even before your period is due.
Itchiness could be a number of things really. It's possible you caught an STD/STI and it's a side effect. It's also possible that you have a yeast infection or a bacterial problem in your vagina. If it continues to itch for a couple of days you should definately make an appointment with your doctor to get checked out as it is not normal. Some things can really hurt your body very badly if you let them go awhile without being treated.
Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things. If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)
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Okay, I just finished my period yesterday and I had sex last night. Today I've been having unusual spotting, and I know that it is way to soon to even be thinking that I might be pregnant. Its probably just my period being weird. But what I want to know is is it possible for me to get pregnant right after I have just finished my period?? (link)
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You can get pregnant at any part of your cycle actually. Yes, there is chance you could have been impregnated but there isn't any way to know at the moment since it's so soon.
There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.
Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days--usually 5 - 7 days in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions.
Many women do get pregnant during their period/right after their period. It is very possible and you should still be using "protection" during these times as well to decrease pregnancy chances.
So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur when you have sexual intecourse.
On another note, you ovulate roughly midway through your cycle. So, if you have a normal 28-day cycle you ovulate 14 days into it. For three or four days there you are at your most fertile state. However, if your cycles are abnormal then it's doubtful you'll be able to figure out when you're ovulating; although your internal temperature and discharge would tell you a lot (you expel more sticky discharge for these days).
To make it a little more clear, you are pretty much equally as fertile throughout your entire cycle, only when you ovulate you are a little more fertile than usual. There isn't a time when you are not fertile or less fertile than usual actually. This is very important to understand.
Anyway, a woman can get pregnant at any point in her cycle. It is always best to practice safe sex to reduce these chances if you are going to engage in such activities. It may also be a good idea to get yourself completely informed before participating in sex ;)
Also, your abnormal spotting could simply be blood that is still being expelled. Many women experience a little blood leakage after sexual activity directly after their period ends because the activity forces the rest of the remaining blood out quickly. If it isn't that, there is such as implantation bleeding in which you lightly spot blood when the fertilized egg attaches to your uterine wall.
Here is a link about pregnancy costs to know about:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
And here is just something simply for you to read and think about. I read it and thought it was pretty neat and gave some good points:
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
You will probably need to wait until your next period is due before a pregnancy test can show up correctly; however, you can also make an appointment at your doctor's office to get a pregnancy test done and it should show accurately even before your period is due.
Better to be informed and knowledgeable of something in case something goes wrong--you won't be caught off-guard then! Take some time to get yourself informed before jumping into things. If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)
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My best friend is a guy. He is amazing. I'm confused though because he wants to go to the next step in our "relationship". Sex. I think I want to, but I'm not sure. i've never done that before. What shouldI do. I'm scared. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to. (link)
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I understand that you may be dead set on losing your virginity to your current best friend but I'd really like you to take note of a few things before engaging in such activities.
Yes, I know it's your body and your decision. I am only making you aware of a few things that you may have slightly overlooked. I am simply concerned for your well-being.
Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with. You should not be in a hurry to lose your virginity. It's a very scary activity (you're naked and vulnerable in MANY ways during sex) and we're all pressured to do it in some way.
If you have sex and something goes wrong then you will be scarred for the rest of your life. If things get out of hand, pregnancy occurs, you're hurt in some way, or you contract a STD from the activity you cannot take it back. You will have to carry that onto each and every partner you have after then.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. Even if your best friend is a virgin too it doesn't mean he may not have something--babies can be born with STDs.
Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
You should really sit down with the best friend and discuss this matter. Look up some photos online together of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. Think of the POSSIBILITIES and make sure that you're truly ready to handle everything that can come from having sex.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. If you love your best friend and he loves you then sex shouldn't be a priority. Love does not mean you should be having sex and having sex does not mean you love someone. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.
Here are some facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."
"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."
"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."
"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"
"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."
Taken from:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
Here are 25 really good reasons why it's important to keep your virginity (it has some really neat things to think about; even if you DO choose to have sex it's still very interesting to read and to think about):
http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm
Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm
Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently:
"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.
The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.
More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.
In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.
Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.
Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.
One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.
About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden."
...and it goes on! Right here...
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
...and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos):
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
...you can google up a lot more images of various STDs/STIs. I figured you could spend some time doing so if you chose to. You really need to consider this just in case your partner is carrying something (or picks up something later on). It's better to be informed that to go into it clueless!
Losing your virginity is a one-time deal. You never give it back no matter what you do. It should be a special thing to give your virginity to your husband (trust me, the man you marry would be thrilled to receive that sort of gift on the wedding night). Before jumping into things, discuss the consequences and think it all over. Look ahead at what you want your life to become.
Sex can be a very bad experience if you choose the wrong partner and if you're both not completely informed about everything that sex is. It can be painful if neither party knows what they are doing.
Please get yourself (and your partner) informed completely before deciding to engage in sex.
I wish you luck on figuring out what is best to do for you. I do hope I've informed you of some things you hadn't considered.
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I asked two questions about uti's and stuff, well, I went to the doctors today, and they said I do have one, but she also said I might have herpes. I'm really freaking out. Is herpes like, treatable? Can or will it go away? She didn't tell me anything on that. I'm really scared. (link)
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I'm assuming you are talking about genital herpes but I will explain both a bit for you.
Cold sores and fever blisters (commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.
If you share a drink (or eating utensils, anything that touches lips) with someone and you have oral herpes you can pass it along. Kissing is usually the most effective way to contract oral herpes.
You do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer this STD either. It is a fact that you don't have to have an active, open sore to be able to pass the virus on to other people or other parts of your body. The virus often sheds in skin cells and from the mucous membranes when there is no sign of a sore at all. This means you can transfer it to other people when it seems like you aren't even having an outbreak.
If you have sexual relations with someone you can have them contract herpes from you. If you have oral herpes and you give someone oral sex then you can then they can develop oral herpes on their genitals. If you have genital herpes and someone gives you oral sex then they may contract genital herpes on the lips and can pass it to you orally. Of course, if you have sexual intercourse and you have genital herpes your partner may also contract genital herpes from you.
I also want to note that any type of birth control, specifically condoms in this case, will not completely protect you and/or your partner from contracting STDs/STIs. Condoms only slightly lessen the chance of contracting such diseases and infections, they do not prevent them. "Safe sex" is really not as safe as the media lets on.
Herpes is very, very common now:
"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."
http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/
...which would mean about 80% of the American population has herpes! Now, that's scary.
I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them.
There is no cure for herpes so it is a life-long sexually transmitted disease people live with. The virus actually lives in nerve roots in your body and cannot be removed in any way. Even if you are extremely lucky and go 10 years without a visual outbreak, you still have the virus inside of you. There are treatments to make the outbreak shortened as well as medication that suppresses outbreaks. No matter what you do, you will always have herpes. The medications for herpes sound very scary as they can cause seizures and even death.
Taking supplements may help decrease your outbreak time. You can take between 1500mg-3000mg of L-Lysine for 5 days during an outbreak with a 7 day break from it to help the sores heal faster. Zinc may help the healing time as well. There is also a homeopathic pill from Wal-Mart you can purchase called Herplex that also claims to speed healing time. Aspirin may help with pain and swelling. If your immune system gets low then chances are you will experience an outbreak. Chocolate also increases outbreaks and outbreak length so you may need to alter your diet.
Different people have different outbreaks. The outbreak could be small and just have one bump, or it could spread and become large and very bumpy. Here is a photo of oral herpes:
http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/cdc/1573.html
Sometimes women believe they only have small cuts on their vaginal area when they are having a genital outbreak. Here are photos of genital herpes (mostly of males; must click links to view the photos so they won't just pop up on you):
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.
For genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women.
Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to take care of your immune system to lessen outbreaks. Babies can contract it from their mothers and it can cause blindness and fatalities so it's important that, if you become pregnant at any point in your lifetime, you let your doctor know immediately that you have herpes. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.
If you are sexually active please let your partner(s) know about your disease. They may have already contracted it from you already but they deserve to know. From now on you need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they actually can take you to court and sue you because a doctor has already made you aware of your condition.
You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.
I hope I've helped you better understand herpes and what in entails. You are right to be "freaking out" and scared because this is a serious matter. I am sorry you have to live with this life-long illness. If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)
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So seriously if your immature you should just LEAVE NOW
Soo I tried to anal masturbate
It started to feel weird so I pulled out the object I was usuing
I was only in like an inch or 2
But when I pulled it out if had brown stuff on it
I was like, "WTF?" then I realized it was shit
Seriously
Everytime I try anal masturbate I get shit particals on the object I use
I ever washed my ass for 5min
Why is this happening and how can I stop it?
NOTE: I didn't need to take a crap or anything.... (link)
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To be very short and to-the-point, there will naturally always be some residue inside of your rectum from your feces. There is not a way you can stop this really. The only thing I can honestly think of that may make it slightly cleaner is to give yourself an enema and I'm not sure you even want to attempt that if you don't know what you're doing.
When engaging in any sort of anal insertion this is what you will encounter. I'm not sure why it is so surprising to you. It is your body. It is what a healthy body naturally does. There isn't any way to get rid of all of the residue since that would mean washing away all of the good stuff your body needs down there too.
Although, it can help to clean the way a little if you up your fiber intake. You can purchase many different products for this such as: Benefiber, Metamucil, and ColonPure (from GNC). Again, there will still be some natural residue but it will be lessened.
I also want to note that you're taking some risks when engaging in anal masturbation.
Physical damage to the rectum and anus are serious and hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and rectal prolapse may occur. You actually may end up in the emergency room having surgery, stitches, or an object removed.
Small tears that can happen during anal insertions can easily become infected. The membrane inside the rectum is VERY thin and fragile so it tears very easily. Even if there seems to be no complications the tears can be very irritating and can become inflamed later on. It can also become uncomfortable for you to pass a stool afterward.
It is also very easy to get a vaginal infection from the anus if you accident get fecal matter in your vagina. The infection would be bacterial can actually do major damage to you--like rendering you infertile.
Incontinence has also been reported from engaging in anal insertions. Basically this means that the anal sphincter loosens up from the activity. This also means that anal leakage can become an issue. It also may mean the inability to completely control your bowels when needed.
I hope I've answered your question properly. If you have any other questions regarding this matter feel free to ask me :)
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my boyfriend and i had unprotected sex two days ago...
i think i'm late enough into ovulation for that to cause pregnancy...
but he pulled out and he didn't pre-cum inside me...
what's the probability that i'm still pregnant? how soon can i find out? (link)
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Apparently you're quite confused about what ovulation is and how sex works regarding reproduction.
You see, a woman ovulates, roughly, 14 or 15 days from the beginning of her last period; however, if your period is not a perfectly exact 28 day cycle then this can be thrown off. Ovulation lasts a few days. Your body's temperature slightly changes during this time and you secrete more cervical mucus to ensure there is enough for sperm to travel in properly. During this time sperm that entire your body are able to live slightly longer than usual. Sperm typically can live in a woman's body for 5 - 7days, though it is not unheard of to find a few still alive at the two week mark.
It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg. Sperm are well equipped to find their way to their goal and they will do anything to ensure fertilization. A man's pre-ejaculatory fluid can be hard to distinguish after engaging in unprotected sexual intercourse because it is a smaller quantity and is thinner. Yes, it is likely it contacts sperm that can still impregnate you just the same.
I also want to note that EVERY man will "pre-cum" during sexual intercourse. He has no control over this and it is a natural process of sex. It happens quite a bit before complete ejaculation so the pull-out method usually does not work for this. If he indeed pulled out to "pre-cum" then he should not have reinserted his penis in you as some fluid left on the penis could have contained sperm. Also, it's impossible for him to have sexual intercourse with you and not "pre-cum" yet be able to pull his penis out before complete ejaculation.
Also, ovulation is actually when you are at your peak fertility zone. Basically, you are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.
Ovulation tends to last a couple of days. Usually sometime during this travel is when the egg becomes fertilized and it attaches to your uterine wall when it reaches your uterus. Sometimes the egg is fertilized in the uterus; sometimes the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube way too early and a baby begins to grown in the tube (which can cause MAJOR issues and can be very dangerous).
It can be difficult to tell if you're ovulating or not if you're not keeping a very close track on your daily discharge and internal temperature. Many things can also throw off your regular ovulation cycle such as: stress, hormonal birth control, antibiotics, and major diet changes.
I'm very concerned that you're not knowledgeable of your own body and how things work so I really feel I should add in some details to help you in the future. It is really in your best interest to educate yourself as much as possible about sex (and everything that sex involves) so that you're more prepared for the many possibilities.
There is always the risk of pregnancy. No matter what birth control method you use (even if you use two) it isn't going to be 100% effective on preventing pregnancy and STD/STI transmission. One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night.
Here are some very serious facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php
You also risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you completely infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. This means that many mothers pass on things to their unborn babies. I'm sure none of us would like to find out 20 years from now that we had contracted HIV/AIDs and that our baby has it too now because we passed it along.
Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently that you've be really surprised at:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm
..and here's some photos of a few STDs. It's important that you check these photos out so that you know what STDs can do to a person's body, just in case you experience problems in this area:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html
I know what it all comes down to is that it's your life, your body, your decision, and possibly even your mistake. I am really concerned for your well-being though. It is best to keep yourself informed and well-educated. Please sit down with your partner and discuss the possible outcomes of your sexual activities together. You may also find it helpful to view the above sites with him so that you're sure he is just as informed as you are.
Now, you may want to drop by your local store (Wal-mart, various pharmacy, etc.) and pick up a pregnancy test. If you period is already late by a few days you should be able to get a decent read-out from the test. If you're truly concerned (since these sort of tests can show a false negative--and no, there is no such thing as a false positive) you may want to make an appointment for a pregnancy test in your local clinic. If you have yet to be due for your period then you need to wait until it is considered "late" for the over-the-counter, store-bought pregnancy tests to read accurately.
I hope you become better informed of your body and what you've been doing with your boyfriend lately. Feel free to ask me any questions that concern you regarding this matter.
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so my boyfriend had longish hair .. and without telling me he got dreads.. and im not trying to sound like a bitch but it looks really really bad... and i like him a lot and we have been going out for 2 1/2 months almost 3 and like im trying to look past it but hes just the kind of person that cant pull of the dreads look.. what should i do? should i tell him .. i feel bad for saying this but everyone makes fun of him and sometimes its embarrassing to be seen with him.. what should i do? (link)
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Personally, I'm opposed to just waiting until one of his friends speaks up, especially since you are fully aware of the comments his peers are making about the new hair-do.
I really think you should be the one to let him know what other people are saying behind his back. I'm sure you care deeply for the guy and it will mean a lot to him that you are looking out for his well-being in all ways. This will also help him to realize he can trust you. You aren't hurting his feelings or betraying him, you are doing the exact opposite by trying to help him out in this situation.
Personally, if I found out my partner had let me walk around looking like a clown for weeks, I'd be fairly upset and deeply disappointed with him. It would really mean a lot to me if my partner was kind enough to be upfront with me about a drastic style change I made that just didn't suit me properly. Nobody likes to walk around looking like a fool while their peers poke fun at them behind their back. I'm sure nobody would like to find out that their partner was aware of the situation the whole time and never spoke up about it.
However, I do think that you should not be blunt enough to tell him of your embarrassment when going out in public with him now. There is no need to hurt the guy's feelings. Just let him know that you do agree that his hair looked a lot better before this new style and you think he shouldn't keep it this new way. Do not suggest that you agree with any nasty comments others have said that you are telling him about though.
You may also want to relate to him a little when letting him know that his peers are remarking negatively about his new hair-style. Let him know that if you were him, you'd want to know what was being said behind your back. Let him know you care enough about him that you thought it was best he knew as soon as you realized others were picking on him. Comfort him if he is upset and do not push for an instant hair-fix.
If you do choose to let him know of this situation be fully confident that you are not doing it for yourself but for him. If you are solely only concerned about the hairstyle because of your own reputation then I highly recommend you take a step back and realize that he is the one being hurt in this situation. This means you do not need to push for him to restyle his hair or dwell on this matter. Have the discussion and leave it alone so he can decide what to do; however, if he asks questions or asks for your advice speak up and be honest with him.
People, especially young adults, tend to pick out any flaw they can about others to raise their self-esteem. I'm sure the style isn't as bad as what others are saying so don't be overly embarrassed about it. The most you can do in this situation is let him know you were more attracted to him when his hair was not in this new style. If he chooses to keep the new hair-do then you're going to have to make a decision to stay with him based on his personality and other things he can offer you or simply leave the relationship and look for someone more attractive to you.
I hope all goes well between you and your boyfriend.
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this is really gross and i dont want to have to go to a doctor unless i absolutely have to. i have a small bump on the outside of my butthole. its soft.. it feels like theres stuff in it. every once in a while, when i go to the bathroom, it bleeds somewhat. its not a lot, because it doesnt rub off on my underwear, but it comes off on the toilet paper when i wipe. what could this be and is it harmful?
THANK YOU! (link)
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It really sounds like a hemorrhoid to me but I'm definately not a doctor.
A hemorrhoid is like a very irritated bit of vein from your rectum. It can be very painful and can be caused by many things (pregnancy, heavy lifting, constipation). Roughly, 50% of Americans will suffer from having a hemorrhoid in their lifetime so it really isn't as gross or embarrassing as you first thought.
Up your fiber intake. You can buy products such as Benefiber, Metamucil, and ColonPure (from GNC) to help you get more fiber if you're not getting enough from fruits, vegetables, and grains.
Do NOT take laxatives for this though as diarrhea can upset the hemorrhoid further.
Make sure to drink your 8 glasses of water a day to keep hydrated.
Do not push as hard when you go to the bathroom. Pushing hard from constipation and lack of fiber is one of the main causes.
Try not to "hold it in" any longer than absolutely necessary. Go when your body says to.
Soak in a tub of warm water for about 10 - 15 minutes each day.
Many websites have suggested wiping after you poo with flushable wipes. There are many different kinds like the Kleenex Cottonelle, Charmin Fresh Mates, and Equate brand from Wal-Mart. These websites say it helps to keep the area clean and soothes it a bit.
Here is a little more information about hemorrhoids and it also has some tips to help relieve the pain (if you are experiencing any) in the meantime:
http://familydoctor.org/online/famdocen/home/common/digestive/basics/090.html
There are creams (such as Preparation H) and wipes (such as Tucks Medicated Pads) you can buy for such a thing but personally I'd go see a doctor before doing anything like that just for confirmation. Most hemorrhoids go away in a few days so it's probably best you get checked out by a professional.
If left untreated, hemorrhoids may sometimes develop into a serious and dangerous condition that requires surgery for treatment. An internal hemorrhoid can become prolapsed where the inflamed vein extends outside of the anus. Usually this vein can be gently pushed back up inside the anus but there is the possibility that it will become further swollen and become entrapped. Once the vein is entrapped, the blood supply may get cut off and the vein will die, often becoming infected. Once infection sets in, it is possible that it will spread through out the entire body and cause dangerous illness.
Please try to see your doctor if possible to make sure everything is alright with you. It's better to be safe and well-informed about your body than to go down the road and find out it's progressed to something major.
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Ok, so I want a small "corset piercing," except, i want five on my stomach, that way, when laced, its a star. anywho, they aren't really permanent, so i want to get it for a special occasion. i don't want it to look too red or anything either, so when's the best time to get it? like, the day of the occasion, the day before, right before or the morning before (assuming the occasion is in the evening) (link)
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It's probably in your best interest to have the piercing done the same day to avoid accidentally ripping one out of your flesh the night before (which is a lot more common than you'd think). I would also suggest having the piercing done directly before the event so you do not have to leave it in any longer than needed. You should definately call your professional piercer beforehand and make an appointment and to ensure they are aware of what type of piercing you will be getting.
You also should be aware of the scarring you will experience from the piercing. Surface piercings will never truly heal no matter what and your body will reject them--some bodies reject quicker than others. If you heal quickly then don't expect the piercing to last very long at all before becoming incredibly itchy, red, and puffy.
When your body rejects a piercing, what happens is rather frightening. The skin that is around the piercing literally sacrifices itself and dies off to expel what is underneath. This being said, some scars can be a lot more noticeable than others.
It's also noted that most corset piercings are only worn for a few hours usually before removal to minimize the scarring and infection possibilities. They are very, very rarely ever worn for over a week.
In my experience, there isn't really a good way to reduce the scarring either so you need to decide if you can deal with the scars for a long period of time. I had a surface piercing done years ago and the scar is still very noticeable and itches periodically.
Also, keep in mind that you will need to purchase some saline solution to put on the piercings each day to keep down possible infection if you're going to try to keep it for an extended period. Try your best not to mess with them and cause more damage to the area. The more you mess with the piercing, the quicker it will reject and the higher the possibility of infection. Please make sure you've researched this entirely so that no surprises come up that you were unaware of and unequipped to deal with.
I also recommend asking your piercer to do the piercing with surface bars instead of captive rings. Rings tend to be rejected quicker, leave more scarring, and have more likelihood of being accidentally torn from the flesh. You can get slave rings attached to the surface bars to hold the lacing on.
I hope all goes well and you get yourself informed enough to help reduce some of the scarring/infection risks.
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it feels like there is a cut or two around the vaginal opening (hole). it kind of stings when i pee and sometimes itches(usually only like twice a month and if i've been out in the dry grass). the reason it feels like a cut is because it feels dry down there and when i stretch my legs apart it feels like i'm opening a cut. does anyone know what this is? thanks (link)
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Actually, small cuts on the vagina can be caused by a few things and it's probably in your best interest to make an appointment with your gynecologist for an exam.
Some possibilities are:
- Genital herpes - Some women experience what they believe to be small cuts on their vaginal area instead of sores during a genital herpes outbreak. This being said, some women are unaware they have contracted this STD and do not try to suppress their outbreaks, leading to serious delivery complications when they give birth.
You can contract herpes a number of ways and not even realize it. Many infants contract it from their parents during delivery or even diaper changing (parents changing diapers with unwashed hands). It is easy to move oral herpes onto your genitals if you touch the sore and do not wash your hands directly after. Many younger generations contract oral herpes from innocently kissing each other and not being aware of their outbreak. It is said that roughly 80% of the United States' population has contracted herpes.
- Yeast infection - Some women experience the itching and burning sensation during a yeast infection and do not recognize that they are scratching themselves and causing these minor cuts. Often the symptoms are so mild that the woman does not experience anything out of the ordinary that they are aware of except the feeling of uncomfortable cuts on their vaginal area.
Even though a yeast infection can be treated by over-the-counter medication it is still in your best interest to see your doctor to confirm if you do indeed have one or not. Many women mis-diagnose themselves with a yeast infection when in reality it is something much more serious.
Basically, anyone can get a yeast infection. Common causes are: antibiotics, wearing tight clothing, sexual activity, using too much soap, douching, and even tampon usage. Having a yeast infection is pretty common and isn't anything to be embarrassed of.
- Bacterial vaginosis (BV) - Usually this bacterial infections has the same signs as a yeast infection. Common causes are basically the same as a yeast infection; however BV is much more serious than a yeast infection as it can lead to problems during pregnancy and major health problems if left untreated. It can also lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) that can render a woman completely infertile.
- Behcet's Syndrome - A rather serious autoimmune disorders disease. This disease's initial symptoms closely resemble the herpes outbreaks and infections. It affects the inner lining of the mouth and genitals and the small blood vessels throughout the body. Other symptoms develop years later, so it is very important that you find out just what it is that is causing your symptoms.
Behcet's disease usually affects more young women than men in the United States. It may cause arthritis, abdominal pain, fever, reddish bumps/pimples/sores on skin, swelling of veins in the leg, genital ulcers, blindness, and affect the heart or lungs and/or bowels.
We are not doctors on this site and we can't give you a for sure answer on what is going on with your body; however, we can advise you to see your regular doctor and make appointments to have some tests ran. We'd rather see you happy and healthy than suffering long-term damage because of pure ignorance.
If you are young and are nervous about explaining your problem to your guardian then you should relax. I'm sure they will find it in your best interest to see a doctor as well and may even help calm you before going for the check-up. Your parents/guardians have gone through a lot in their lifetimes and I'm sure they will understand. This sort of thing is routine for doctors, by the way, so you also should not be embarrassed about needing professional help.
I hope you find comfort while waiting for your doctor's appointment.
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say someone was pregnant and they were going to get an abortion.. should you tell the babies father?.. you were never going out with him but he lead you on and you got pregnant and now he had a girlfriend and its not you... should you still tell him your pregnant or just leave it alone so you wont cause drama..? (link)
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Before I really answer your question I really want to make you aware of a few things in case you are talking about yourself in this case. If you are inquiring for a friend then maybe it's best you pass the following information along so that she is well-informed.
I am truly only concerned for your well-being and hope to make you a little more knowledgeable before you make a definite choice on such a serious matter.
Abortion can really harm your body just as much as giving birth to a child. I understand your body may not be mature enough to handle pregnancy but no woman's body is truly ready to abort a fetus. A baby can deplete your body of nutrients (which is why pregnant women need to take their prenatal vitamins) but an abortion can leave you scarred physically and/or mentally.
Women who have had abortions can experience problems later on. Many women suffer from depression after having an abortion because, in the end, they come to realize that they have completely stopped another human life. The dates of conception, abortion, and the estimated day the child would have been born haunts many women for years. Some woman can't deal with this so much that they end up committing suicide. If that isn't enough, many women experience difficulty conceiving years later after an abortion--yes, it can render you infertile for the rest of your days.
I found a VERY interesting site for teenagers on abortion. These girls had abortions when they were your age and have gained courage to write about their experiences for other teens to read:
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/abortionhome.cfm
Most of them regret that they had an abortion. Many of them cannot get over that fact and have the dates stuck in their minds. I'm sure that when that date passes each year they are reminded of what they went through to rid themselves of a life they were developing inside of their wombs.
I also want to direct you to a site that shows a live abortion. It's in different parts because the speaker gives you a lot of information on what the fetus and the mother will be going through. The video shows the ultra-sound as the procedure happens. It is important you see this before having an abortion so that you know fully what will be happening--it is best to inform yourself well. Before clicking the link to watch the video, prepare yourself because it is real life:
http://www.silentscream.org/video1.htm
...Part 3 really starts to show the actual abortion happening. The speaker does add that the doctor that did the abortion never did another one and that the woman filming it never spoke about abortion again, though she was previously for it.
Just as a note, some states will not perform an abortion past 4 months, most are done before the first 14 week mark. Abortions after 24 weeks are only performed because of health complications just as another note. The further along you are, the more expensive it will be. Here is also some information on how different types of abortions are done and what the baby is like during certain stages of development when these practices are performed.:
http://www.lifesitenews.com/abortiontypes/
Please know that abortion is not your only option. Please give yourself plenty of time to decide what is the best choice. Even if your parents are upset that you are pregnant they will eventually get over it. Some parents can be really hurt in the beginning that their son or daughter disobeyed but, in the end, they still love you. Many parents later realize that the unborn baby IS their grandchild and help their son or daughter to figure out how to raise the baby when it comes.
Please do not put your body through the mess that is abortion. Please do not end a life that you have been helping grow. If your parents are not aware, take your chances and open up to your parents about what has happened. Like I said, even if they are upset they WILL get over it. If you're scared, there is help out there for you. You've learned the hard way about sexual consequences but it doesn't mean you can easily throw away the result.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. By taking this child's life and ending it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something. The baby did not do anything wrong here and should not be punished by death.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
http://www.voagno.org/Services/ChildrenYouthFamilies/AdoptionServices/tabid/1238/Default.aspx
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
I really believe that the person that impregnated you should be well aware of the situation. He is just as involved in this thing as you are. Even if it was a one-night-stand he should be aware of the result of it since it is half of his DNA as well.
If the guy gets upset that you became pregnant then let him. You are not starting drama. The drama started when you BOTH decided to have sex with each other. Telling him is the right thing to do in this situation. It's just as much his "fault" that it's came to this as it is yours. It's alright if he doesn't want to be a part of the child's life. It isn't too late, you can get help if you put your energy into it, or start to look at an alternate solution that does not mean ending an innocent life that didn't have a say in any of this.
If he pushes for you to have an abortion and you really don't want to then DON'T. You know right from wrong and, hopefully, you're now knowledgeable enough to make the right decisions for you about this. Get yourself completely informed so you can share the information with him about this situation. Still know you did the right thing by informing him even if he gets upset that you are making him aware of the situation.
I hope that you take enough time to decide what choice is the best before rushing into things.
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