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Herpes
I just found out today that I have genital herpes. I'm only 15, and it was my second time having sex with the same person. Don't tell me I'm too young or whatever. I know I was ready, and we've been together for a really long time. I'm really scared though. I'm having a hard time like, dealing with it. He thought he didn't have anything, but, I guess he did. I wasn't his first, but he was mine. My mom thinks he cheated on me, because, both her and my doctor said if he had it before the second time we had sex, I would've most likely gotten it sooner. What do you guys think? I'm so scared. Please help. I also just need ideas to help me cope with this. Wow. Who thought just one stupid mistake could mess my life up forever?
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wow this is very serious.. sounds like your bf definetaly was cheating on you if it was your second time.. but wat was the time frame between the first and second time? herpes symtoms usually take 15 to 20 days to appear.. and even if your 15 its not the end of your life, you still have so much 2 live 4.. but in my opinion its pretty obvious that you werent ready for sex otherwise you would have been ready for the consequences and responsibility that comes with it.
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I know that I gave you some good information about herpes on your question before this one but I must have left something very important out.
Herpes is highly contagious, obviously, but if he isn't having an outbreak then chances are lowered of him passing it onto you. Skin cells are always being shed, which means the virus is as well and can be transferred that way. This means that he is always risking his partners of contracted herpes from him (you are too when you have sexual contact with someone) but it doesn't mean he will definately infected someone.
What I'm saying is, he could have had this for years and not been aware of it before having sexual intercourse with you. He also may have not been having an outbreak the first time you two engaged in sex, thus chances of you contracting it was a bit lowered. The second time you two had sex, he may have been experiencing an outbreak he wasn't aware of, or the virus decided to shed a lot more than usual that day and you contracted it.
Just as a side note, you may want to push for him to tell his previous partners about his STD so they can get tested for it. It is important to spread it as little as possible and if his past partners have it and aren't aware then they need to know so they can start taking care of it properly. This can be a very embarrassing thing for some people (it does take a bit of courage) but here is a website that allows you to e-send a heads-up anonymously:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The virus usually shows up 10 - 14 days after contracting it. There have been cases in which people have contracted the virus and did not have their first outbreak for months. This being said, there is no way to tell which sexual encounter left you with this STD.
You really need to sit down with your mother and research some facts with her about genital herpes so that some things are cleared up and she does not think negatively about your partner. Just because you did not have a visual outbreak the first time you had sex with your partner does not mean you did not contract it that time.
Here is a good link to start with:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I also want to suggest that you find a new doctor. Apparently your doctor is not well-knowledgeable about the herpes virus and this really concerns me. I'm very concerned about your doctor's lack of knowledge and who you would be able to turn to if you could not find a reliable answer on the internet to a question regarding herpes.
I also want to suggest that you begin taking some vitamin supplements so your immune system is boosted and your outbreaks are lessened. You can purchase these at any pharmacy and even Wal-Mart. You do not need a prescription for any of them, and many websites claim these are very helpful:
*L-Lysine - Take between 1,500 - 3,000mg of this during an outbreak for 5 days. Then stop taking it for 7 days. Repeat this cycle until your outbreak has diminished. Do not take it longer than 5 days as your body will adjust to it and it will not be effective.
*Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids- Take between 1000 - 2000mg every day. You do not need to be experiencing an outbreak to take this and you should take it every day--your body will not become "immune" to it.
*Zinc - Take 20mg - 50mg per day, outbreak or not.
*Echinacea - Take for 2 weeks and then stop for 2 weeks. You may repeat process until desired time. Take 1000mg daily.
*Vitamin B Complex - Take one daily, outbreak or not.
*Herplex - Something at Wal-Mart that claims to help heal the sores. It says to take between 3 - 5 caplets (chewed) per day while you're having an outbreak. It has some really good stuff in it to help heal your body.
The more you stress, the more likely you are to experience an outbreak. What's done is done and there is no taking this back. Try to relax and tend to your body now. It is important to do everything you can to boost your immune system to decrease outbreaks. You should begin avoiding chocolate and sunlight, as both can trigger severe outbreaks. If you currently smoke, please try to quit so that your immune system raises again.
Try to abstain from sexual relations during an outbreak. Even though your partner is positive for herpes it is possible to spread it all around your bodies. Sexual encounters also may trigger an outbreak or cause it to become more severe so treat your bodies well and try not to have sex during times of outbreaks. It is also suggested to always use condoms during non-outbreak times to lower changes of spreading it then too.
I won't parrot what others said below about condom usage because it is true; however, I want you to realize that you weren't as prepared for sex as you believe. I do not want to sound harsh, but if you had been completely prepared you would have known your STD/STI risks and been knowledgeable enough to deal with possible consequences. It truly is a shame that you brought this on yourself and it's something you will have to suffer with your entire life, but it also can be a learning experience for you about jumping into the sack without research.
Having herpes does not make you dirty or gross. It just means that you need to take extra special precautions to protect yourself and others from this virus. Remember to wash your hands before and after touching that area and remember that if you ever become pregnant to let your doctor at that time know as soon as possible about it. ALWAYS inform future sexual partners about your STD before any sexual contact happens.
Please take time to research thoroughly. When you research something as much as you can, it seems less scary and a lot more manageable. I know it's a lot to take in so take plenty of time and learn as much as you can about your STD, what it does to your body, how to help it not spread, etc. This is important.
I hope that everything goes well. If you have any more questions regarding this matter please feel free to ask me :)
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It often is one small mistake that ruins your life, one you don't even realize you are making. I think the first thing you need to do is talk to your boyfriend and figure out if he cheated on you or not, if he did then it isn't worth it. Then maybe you could find some group of people who have genital herpes, comminuicating with others who understand can be a huge help with this. Remember to be more careful from now on and remember that now you have this you have to warn your partners and be responsible with it. I am really sorry this happened to you.
Hope I Helped.
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Herpes is transmitted from skin to skin contact, and there's a whole lotta skin the condom doesn't cover. Herpes is also only likely to be transmitted when someone has visible sores. This is called an outbreak.
Coping with this will be hard, because you will have herpes your whole life. However, it's not as bad as it sounds. The first outbreak is often the worst, and many people have very long gaps between outbreaks. Some people very rarely have them again.
It is your responsibility to read up and gain as much knowledge as possible, as well as having more chats with your doctor. You need to know about this condition and how to protect future partners from getting this infection from you. Your doctor can also offer you advice about the different creams or medications available to help you feel more comfortable during an outbreak, or to reduce the amount of time you have visible sores for.
Herpes can be quite uncomfortable, but they are somewhat manageable. You may want to consider having a full screening for all sexually transmitted infections, if you have not had one already.
You'll also need to figure out where you stand with your boyfriend. Someone could have herpes for years without ever knowing it, as they wouldn't have had an outbreak. There is every possibility your boyfriend did not cheat on you. If this is something you have worries about, then you need to decide if you can trust him. If you can't, it might be time to move on - a relationship won't work without trust.
As for your own emotions, you might consider seeing a counsellor, sexual health worker, etc. Or just talk to your doctor more about it. It's a lot to deal with, and it's okay to feel scared, angry, confused, or hurt. Journalling, music, gardening - whatever you enjoy, now's the time to get your emotions out and pamper yourself.
I wish you the best.
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It's always better to use condoms, but that doesn't mean that they are 100% fool proof from pregnancy, or STDS. As you have already figured out.
This is a tough thing to deal with, but it is possible to do. Your mom knows, and you have a doctor taking care of you. You are in good hands. That's one less thing you have to put up with.
You are not the only person going through this, i'm sure. Find a support group online or somewhere else. Talk to your mom about it. What's done is done, and it's time to move past it.
One thing you need to do if you haven't already is tell your boyfriend. You personally couldn't pay me to stay with a boy who gave me a social disease, but it's up to you whether or not you want to forgive him. Either way around, you need to let him know so he can protect himself from other sexual partners he may have in the future.
You can get through this, it isn't the end of the world. You aren't the first person to get an STD, and you won't be the last. Don't beat yourself up over this.
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well firstly, herpes can be spread through just skin to skin contact, as in from pubus to pubus, which the condom doesnt cover.
secodnly, herpes symptoms can take up to a month to manifest, sometimes longer. i dont know if that tells you anything about whether or not he cheated on you. also, its less common to pass it on if you are not having an outbreak (though still very possible) so its possible he only gave it to you the second time.
thirdly, nearly 80% of americans have some form of herpes.
here is a site with more info
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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First I would like to say that you will be ok. There are many ways to prevent spreading it and people can work through it.
I was wondering if maybe he did have it then he just the first time he didn't have an outbreak. I don't know much about it but maybe it can be spread other ways or maybe you did get it earlier just didn't have the symptoms till now?
Maybe do some digging around and see if he did cheat on you, if you were together for a really long time before this he might have gotten tired of waiting for you. I really hope he didn't but it is a possibility.
Most importantly just know that you have it now and make sure to prevent it from getting to someone else.
hope I helped
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