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Should I sleep with him?
My best friend is a guy. He is amazing. I'm confused though because he wants to go to the next step in our "relationship". Sex. I think I want to, but I'm not sure. i've never done that before. What shouldI do. I'm scared. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you don't think you are ready and you have doubts then you probably shouldn't. You should never sleep with someone, especially if you a virgin, if you aren't completely positive you want to give that precious gift and trust to them. Do what your heart and gut tells you to, we can't tell you what to do only you know what you are ready for and what you want to do.
Hope I Helped.
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It's understandable to be scared, nervous and not sure - in these times, no matter how bad you want to do something, it's best not to. You see, once you have sex with someone, that's it, you're virginity is gone forever. If you aren't sure about having sex, you shouldn't do it. You need to wait as long as it takes to know that you're completely sure and won't have any regrets about it.
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is he your best friend or your boyfriend? i mean you really shouldt sleep with your best friend or you boyfriend. dont push your self into doing something your not ready for . if you dont feel ready dont do it. also it matters how old you if your still in school dont have sex it will only add to the stress of being a teenager if you catch an std or get pregant. keep in mind that if you do have sex you are putting yourself at risk for HIV/AIDS or any other STDs.however you can only get pregant through vaginal sex any thing else you cant get pregnant but you can catch a STD
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you need to think really hard about this. you dont want to have sex with him unless you love him and you're sure he feels just as strongly about you. and you need to talk to him about it and discuss what you would do if you got pregnant or something.
with sex comes a lot of responsibility as well as pleasure, so be careful!! =)
hope i helped!
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It sounds to me that he's kinda wanting to skip a crucial step: moving from friendship to full-blown boyfriend/girlfriend deal. Right now, it seems like he wants the whole 'friends-with-benefits' deal. (And hey, not saying that's a bad thing if your 100% comfortable with the idea of friends-with-benefits.)
Ask yourself if you really love him, like seriously deeply love him and care about him. Sex shouldn't be something you share with just anybody. Then, I would try an actual boyfriend/girlfriend deal first.
You shouldn't just rush into sex if its your first time, especially if you're even a tiny bit scared. If you're scared or nervous about it, my advice to you is don't do it.
I hope this advice helps you out. I'm here for you if you have any more questions about this.
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I understand that you may be dead set on losing your virginity to your current best friend but I'd really like you to take note of a few things before engaging in such activities.
Yes, I know it's your body and your decision. I am only making you aware of a few things that you may have slightly overlooked. I am simply concerned for your well-being.
Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with. You should not be in a hurry to lose your virginity. It's a very scary activity (you're naked and vulnerable in MANY ways during sex) and we're all pressured to do it in some way.
If you have sex and something goes wrong then you will be scarred for the rest of your life. If things get out of hand, pregnancy occurs, you're hurt in some way, or you contract a STD from the activity you cannot take it back. You will have to carry that onto each and every partner you have after then.
Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. Even if your best friend is a virgin too it doesn't mean he may not have something--babies can be born with STDs.
Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.
It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.
One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.
Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.
The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.
You should really sit down with the best friend and discuss this matter. Look up some photos online together of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. Think of the POSSIBILITIES and make sure that you're truly ready to handle everything that can come from having sex.
You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. If you love your best friend and he loves you then sex shouldn't be a priority. Love does not mean you should be having sex and having sex does not mean you love someone. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.
Here are some facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
"...you thought the home pregnancy test was expensive! The costs of raising a baby to age 18 costs between $125,000-$250,000 and that's not including college tuition! In your baby's first year alone, you can easily spend between $9,000-$11,000..."
"...childcare can cost as much as $3,000-$4,500 in your baby's first year, not to mention the higher insurance premium for adding an additional person."
"Don't forget about the delivery! It easily costs between $5,000-$8,000 for a normal vaginal delivery, up to $12,000 for a cesarean delivery and much more if there are complications."
"...plan on spending between $1,600-$2,300 by the time your baby is potty-trained. Expect your baby to go through at least 7-8 diapers a day on average and spending $80-$130 a month on diapers alone (especially in the first few months, when changes are more frequent.)"
"For formula (up until your baby is one-year-old), expect to spend between $1,000-$2,300- depending on whether you use powder in a can or ready-to-pour liquids. Plan on spending at least $40 a week on infant formula."
Taken from:
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Here are 25 really good reasons why it's important to keep your virginity (it has some really neat things to think about; even if you DO choose to have sex it's still very interesting to read and to think about):
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Here is also a link on some things about virginity. I think it has some neat points and gives examples to explain what they're talking about:
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Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently:
"More than half of all people will have an STD/STI at some point in their lifetime.
The estimated total number of people living in the US with a viral STD/STI is over 65 million. Every year, there are at least 19 million new cases of STDs/STIs, some of which are curable.
More than $8 billion is spent each year to diagnose and treat STDs/STIs and their complications. This figure does not include HIV.
In a national survey of US physicians, fewer than one-third routinely screened patients for STDs/STIs.
Less than half of adults ages 18 to 44 have ever been tested for an STD/STI other than HIV/AIDS.
Each year, one in four teens contracts an STD/STI.
One in two sexually active persons will contact an STD/STI by age 25.
About half of all new STDs/STIs in 2000 occurred among youth ages 15 to 24. The total estimated costs of these nine million new cases of these STDs/STIs was $6.5 billion, with HIV and human papillomavirus (HPV) accounting for 90% of the total burden."
...and it goes on! Right here...
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...and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos):
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...you can google up a lot more images of various STDs/STIs. I figured you could spend some time doing so if you chose to. You really need to consider this just in case your partner is carrying something (or picks up something later on). It's better to be informed that to go into it clueless!
Losing your virginity is a one-time deal. You never give it back no matter what you do. It should be a special thing to give your virginity to your husband (trust me, the man you marry would be thrilled to receive that sort of gift on the wedding night). Before jumping into things, discuss the consequences and think it all over. Look ahead at what you want your life to become.
Sex can be a very bad experience if you choose the wrong partner and if you're both not completely informed about everything that sex is. It can be painful if neither party knows what they are doing.
Please get yourself (and your partner) informed completely before deciding to engage in sex.
I wish you luck on figuring out what is best to do for you. I do hope I've informed you of some things you hadn't considered.
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