I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
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My mom gets really angry really easily. I'm her only daughter and i'm 16 and she treats me like i'm disposable.
Like today she found out that I missed school because the power went out and screwed up my alarm clock last night.
I told her what happened and she refused to believe me and made up all sorts of crazy delusions in her head about what she thinks really happened. She started screaming and cussing me out and telling me that she's going to call social services and have them come take me away because she hates me so much and that she thinks i'm a complete failure.
Every time anything go's the least bit wrong she go's nuts. She makes up scenarios in her head that never actually happened and lets them build her anger up.
Every single day she explodes about something and always takes it out on me.
She thinks she's the perfect parent though and whenever shes around anybody else she acts positively angelic.
I'm always being accused of something and I never get a say in the matter. If I try to explain myself she slaps me and tells me to shut up.
Yet she'll go on an on about how I abuse her trust and how she's the perfect parent and that I don't deserve her.
I really think she hates me.
She always insults me and belittles everything I do. Nothing is ever good enough for her and every day I come home from school to a pissed off mother who stresses me out the point i've thought about calling DCF.
She's even gotten angry to the point she pushed me down the stairs and hit me with a pan.
I'm in all honors classes with A's and B's and i've never been to the discipline office for anything.
I don't know why she thinks i'm such a horrible monster but she does and it drives me crazy.
What can I do about her?
I can't live with my dad because he lives in a really tiny 1 bedroom apartment with 13 cats and a 12 hour job. He barely has enough money for himself and his pets so he wouldn't be able to take care of me.
(link)
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Your mom is not normal or stable. She sounds like she has some very serious and dangerous mental issues. It is very sad that you have to be the one to endure the consequences of her mental illness. I think, for your safety (emotional as well as physical) you need to find a way to leave as soon as possible. Think hard. Think very hard. In 2 years you will be 18 and able to legally live alone, hold a job and support yourself. Until then, is there ANYONE you can stay with that you trust? its temporary, don't forget. A best friend with a family you know and trust? A family member? You could call DCF, but that should be a last resort. Oftentimes the child can end up getting sent to worse places than where they came from. Trust me, you don't want to get put into the system unless you have absolutely no other choice in the world. You could be in even more danger than at home. That being said, you need help. Try talking to your school counselor. It will be totally private and they may have an idea of how to help. Or take your issues to a trusted adult - family member, church leader, etc. You can't deal with this on your own. And, if you feel you just have no other place to go, then yes, call DCF, because right now, you have to find a way out of there. And you are not a horrible monster. Your mother is sick, she sounds like she literally has a mental disease, and that makes her say and do things that have nothing to do with you or how you are or act. You are fine. Your mother is not. I wish you luck.
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I live in Sydney, Australia. I've had this feeling for as far back as I can remember that I wasn't living where I should have lived. When I was 4 my parent's moved from Melbourne to Sydney, so for a long time I thought it was just because I wanted to be back there (even though I couldn't remember anything about the place).
But as I got older I started to notice how different I was from everybody else around here. I was really creative, and in High School I felt like my abilities were never able to reach their potential. The school wasn't awful, but it didn't have a lot of resources, and a few not so amazing teachers. But it wasn't just those things, it was the whole vibe of the place. None of the other kids were interested in Arts or Music, or culture at all really.
I had friends and was never picked on, but I still felt outcasted because I didn't want the same things all of the other kids in the school wanted.
Now, I'm in my second year of University. I'm studying literature and creative writing which is absolutely what I want to be doing. And yet... I still get this feeling. I want to travel, move overseas, explore the world and find the place that 'speaks' to me. Is that normal, though? Is it normal to feel like you've just been living in a place you weren't meant to spend the rest of your life in?
I feel like I already know the answer to my questions and that I'm just terrified to go so far away all by myself. I keep thinking about it more and more though, and every day I get more excited, and the plans become ever more possible.
I'm going to try and apply to do an exchange program through my University to study in Canada for half a year. I'm really excited, but still terrified at being alone. I'm even more terrified that I may not be accepted.
I guess what I want to ask is if anyone else has ever wanted, more than anything, to move away. Just because you feel like you're not where you're meant to be. And maybe if it's crazy to pack up all of my things after I finish my degree and move to another country for a year or so? (link)
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Hell no its not crazy! Its awesome! Do you realize how much guts it takes to do something like that? You are so brave already and you don't even realize it. Yes, you will be scared, even terrified. I did the same thing, moved to a completely different country and society as a young woman, all by myself. It was terrifying. And it was also the best choice I ever made. Its ok to be scared, but be courageous too. Courage is being scared of something and doing it anyway. You will never regret taking a chance, but you will always regret letting fear stop you from exploring life. Go for it. You'll be fine. You really will. And you will learn some surprising things about yourself along the way. Enjoy the ride!
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How do i know that my boyfriend feels the same way about me the way I feel about him (link)
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Ask him.
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Theres this one spoiled biznatch in my class who text all the time, and she looks lilke miss queen B when she is texting, and it bothers me.
What do i do (link)
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Mind your own business. Seriously. I'm not trying to be rude or sarcastic. Mind your own business. Because you really sound like a hater, and haters are worse than spoiled queen Bs. Who cares what she does or says or looks like? Is any of that going to change your life? No. Mind your own business. If you are not going to be mature and take the time to get to know a person before you judge them (I bet you'd hate it if someone did that to you), then mind your own business. Did I say it enough? Mind your own business. You'll be happier. Trust me.
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I have never been called ugly, but I've also never been called beautiful. I'm not sure. I mean, I've liked guys but none of them have ever liked me back. In the 5th grade I told a guy I used to like him but don't anymore. (It wasn't true that I didn't like him, I just wanted to test the waters. I wanted ti see his reaction.) That was thhe biggest mistake of my life because after I said I didn't like him anymore, I heard him say, "Good." My mom also once told me that the only guys that would want to hit on me would be pedophiles, (I'm really short so I look like I'm 14 even though I turned 18 in February.) the sad part is that I think she might be right. The only guys that have ever "liked" me are old guys and some of the creepy guys at our school. Whenever I even try to hit on a guy they laugh in my face. I feel like I shouldn't be so down on myself and sometimes I look in the mirror I feel like the prettiest thing in the world, but other times, I look in the mirror and feel completely disgusted with how I look. Is there a way to get people to tell you the truth about how you look? (link)
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It sounds cheesy, but once you learn to let go of the notion that you need the attention of a man to make you feel attractive, you will actually be happier, and you'll find nice men are attracted to you more. The "pedophiles" your mom talks about aren't attracted to you because of how you look. They are attracted to you because you throw off a vibe of desperation and insecurity. That's what guys like that gravitate toward. Its like a scent. They can smell a girl who is needy and insecure and unsure of herself. They like those girls because they are easy prey. Work on finding things in your life that you love to do, hang out with people you enjoy, and stop worrying about what guys think of you. Ironically, when you learn to stop worrying so much about it, they'll be all over you!
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He is married with 3kids and he is having problem with his wife but wants me and i love him what should i do? (link)
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Yuk. You must really not think much of yourself to be so desperate as to be with a married man with a family. Someday, when you have a family of your own, you'll understand how awful this situation truly is. He's not going to leave her. He's a father. Marriage is about more than love, believe it or not. Go your own way. Instead of asking what you can do to make him love you more (Horrible question, btw, you can't MAKE people love you) you need to ask yourself why you have such low self-esteem that you would fall for a man who is not available to you. Do the hard thing and walk away. Be brave, for once. Do the right thing. There may be someone out there who is just right for you but you are missing him because you're spending so much energy on this unavailable cheater.
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Okay, I have been going to a new church for about 5 weeks. It is incredible, I love it so much. Now, please don't read this and think that I only love the church due to my question because I don't, I love my church because I walk out feeling refreshed and actually think about the sermon the whole week. There's a worship leader, he is close to my age and I think he is really attractive. When he is singing, I look up at him on stage and he looks back and me and does a bashful little smile. Next Sunday, May 15th, we have a luncheon after church and since he is on staff for church, he will be there. I would like to talk to him but I don't know how. So, can you help me to think of how to talk to him without being creepy or having him approach me? Thanks! (link)
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You could just say "Hi. It was a nice service today. I just wanted to let you know I think you're doing a great job with the worship team".... see where it goes from there!
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There was a sermon at my church about serving and having God use you for His Kingdom. The staff at my church is so friendly and I love them all and I would LOVE to be a part of that. So, I would like to be a children's helper and be with the kid's singing downstairs during first service and then come back up to listen second service. However, my church is about 30 minutes away and I don't have my licence and my parents go to the second service, so they would not want to drive me there, back home, back there again and back home again. So, I think that is probably out but I want to serve and I don't know how if I don't have my licence. I just want to do something to make me feel good and make God happy. Any ideas? Thanks! (link)
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Write an email to or meet with your pastor or another church leader. Tell them your situation. You want to serve in some way but your transportation to and from church is limited. Then leave it up to your leaders to decide the best place for you to serve right now. It might not be doing exactly what you want, but sometimes God has us start in odd places, in order to mold us and shape us into the servant he wants us to be. Believe me, your leaders will be thrilled that you even have the desire to be a part of things, so don't hesitate to make your desires known. They'll figure out the rest, and as you serve and grow, circumstances may change and you'll be able to do the things you really want to do.
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I will be married to my husband 2 years in August. We have two children. I work full time he does not and its a major problem since ive known him he will not keep a job. he had a job end of jan. and quit the begining of april. He doesnt even look for a job or help around the house. Ive pleaded with him but he acts like im kidding about it. we dont talk much anymore or it seems like it we hardly ever even kiss each other. he doesnt hold me. i work pretty much monday - friday some weekends 8-9 hours a day but im usually home by 3 pm plenty of time to spend together. i asked him to clean up the yard 2 months ago and hasnt even attempted. i love him to death i just dont know what else to do. alot of the time i just want to ask him to leave and give up he and my son are always in to it (his step son) he seems to favor my daughter which is both of our child. he he is constantly spending what ever money we get and just takes it out of my wallet then denys it but i know he did. (link)
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As someone who was forced to grow up with a stepdad who is basically like your husband, I'm telling you - get out now. He doesn't work, doesn't help, doesn't like your son, doesn't seem to really like you. Do you know how awful it is to be a child and see a man like that living in your home? Its horrible, trust me. It will make your kids lose a lot of respect for you. Soon they will treat you as bad as he does, because they will learn you are a weak pushover. He takes the money you go out to earn for your family?! Girl, I don't care how lonely you are or what your issues are, get out now. Take a stand. Have some respect for yourself, but if you can't do that, then have some respect for your children and the life you are forcing them to live. They will not love you for staying, I promise you that. They will resent you and feel angry toward you. They will feel that you picked your loser husband over their own happiness. If you have any love for them you will tell your husband you deserve better and you will take your kids and leave. Tell him he is free to see his daughter but you will not let her grow up thinking that he is a good example of the kind of man she should end up with. And yes, statistics tell us that your daughter will grow up to choose the same kind of men you do. Is that what you want? Leave, make a good life for yourself. Maybe when he sees you are serious about not being a pushover anymore he will step up and change his ways. Maybe he won't. Either way, your feelings are not the most important thing in this situation (no matter how much you love him), your kids' feelings are. And find a way to get help to figure out why you choose men like this in the first place. Its not normal. I wish you luck. I hope you find the strength to stand up for your kids and yourself and do the hard things. Good luck.
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To quickly summarize, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. We live together and we're in our early twenties. I take care of him constantly, and help organize him as he has ADHD, and effectively play his therapist, and have to accept it when he prioritizes other things over my needs. I love him very much, and do not doubt how much he loves me, but certainly he is immature, and can be selfish. But thats not the point of my question. My birthday is on Saturday, we've been planning it and talking about it for weeks. He already gave me my present - he made a bench to store shoes under (he really wanted one. I expressed no interest in one, but maybe he thinks I wanted one too) so I have shown appreciation for that. He kept talking about planning the day for us, and I have a dinner set up with friends and him in the evening. He informs me yesterday, 3 days before my birthday that he hasnt gotten it taken care of at work after all and that he'll probably be working 1-9 on my birthday. I personally believe, as its a job like any other, that he could have switched shifts or gotten it off with relative ease, but clearly has not prioritized doing so. Also, he gets irritated if I show that I'm sad about it. He also wants to spend the rest of the week in on his computer, so I suppose we wont be celebrating any other day either. Am I allowed to feel as I do? After everything hes put me through lately I at least needed him to show some interest in making my birthday special... :( (link)
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I can't tell if you think the ADHD might be a factor here, or if you think he really has more control over the situation than he's taking credit for. Either way, you are hurt. I don't see anything bad about that. Its certainly annoying feel unappreciated by the one person you do the most for. But I'm not sure what can really be done about it. I'm a big talker, and I'm all for talking about our problems with other people, but you've already been talking about it to him and you say he gets annoyed when you get upset. Just based on what you're saying here, I don't know that having yet another talk about why you are hurt would help. He obviously doesn't want to hear it, for whatever reason. I think the best way to handle it, short of breaking up until he can get his act together, is to just move ahead with your own plans. Don't ask him, don't make a big deal. When he wants to know where you're going tell him you made plans to celebrate. Then go out with friends and enjoy yourself. When he realizes you are having fun without him he'll either get on board or get pissed and finally be ready to listen to you. It sucks, but don't wait around for him to show you he cares. Go enjoy yourself with your friends. Maybe when he realizes you're not going to be there do everything for him and with him every second, he'll want to make more of an effort to be there for you.
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About a month or two ago one of my co-workers and I started talking/texting pretty much everyday. HE STARTS THE texting. We will text for hours. I recently got out of a long relationship, and I am not looking for a boyfriend. It is just nice to talk to someone I guess, because he is a really cool guy. I am 20 years old, and I am not the kind of girl that just talks to whoever because I am bored. I think I am actually interested in the guy. He is cool with my ex, who does not know we have been texting a bit. I suggested friends with benefits ( we had sex once, and again I do not get around) until one of us got into a relationship because I do not want to get hurt. He was excited about the idea. I asked him if he had a crush on me and he said i am funny, hott, and cool but he does not see me as a future girlfriend. I don't even want a boyfriend right now anyway, but I have never really gotten rejected before. I don't think I am all that or anything, but now I feel so insecure like what's wrong with me! I'm confused, please any advice? (link)
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Ok wait. Let's break this down:
1)you say you don't want a boyfriend right now
2)you suggest 'friends with benefits'
3)He says you are not girlfriend material...
And you're hurt? You're the one who said he could use you for sex. Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? You're confused because the truth is, you are not cool with casual sex. You said as much yourself. You are not comfortable with it. There is a part of you that wants to be treasured and only wants to give yourself to a guy that will see you as a gift and a prize. If you want to have meaningless sex, go right ahead. But don't act surprised when it feels like something more important to you than him, and don't feel confused when he says he's cool with sex but not with a relationship. Every guy will make that choice if you let him. The girl that stands out is the girl that stands up and says she's different, she's not like everyone else. As soon as you do the 'friends w/ benefits' thing, trust me, you're just like everyone else. And like I said, if you're fine with that, great. Your choice. Go for it. But I don't think you are fine with that.
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im 18/f hes 19/m :)
so me and my best friend like each other (yes haha i have posted earlier on today! haha) the thing is, for the last 5 months that we've been insanely close for we haven't done anything sexual with each other at all, we did kiss once but he doesn't remember it cause we were both ridiculously drunk haha. We have sent pictures before, and sexted but thats about it. so tonight things started getting a bit heated between us, we were sexting pretty much and he was telling me how much he wants to have sex with me. and how he really is looking forward to the prospect of having sex with me when he comes back from tour.
the thing is, he didnt even want to kiss me a couple of weeks back because he doesnt want to move to quickly with me, that im special and he really doesnt want to ruin things. He even told one of our mutual friends how insanely beautiful i am, that he feels something extremely real between us and he doesnt want anything to move to fast so it doesnt get ruined. but tonight he confessed that he does really want me sexually too. and how we should get together when he comes home.
i do want to have sex with him, but in my head i imagined it being when we were official or something, if we ever dated. Im still a virgin, and i DO want to lose my virginity to him, hes my best friend and i trust him alot. I also confessed that i want him in that way too. and i agreed that maybe we should heat things up a bit...but what i dont understand...is why hes suddenly rushing to wanting to have sex with me? what happened to his fear of ruining things with me so much so that he was the one saying we should take things slow? (link)
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You took the brakes off, that's what happened. He was aware of your situation before. Knowing you were a virgin, he didn't want to push it (rightfully so). He told you he would take it slow, out of respect for you. Then you start heating up the sexting. What signal does that send? You are telling him you want it too... so in his mind that means he doesn't have to take it slow anymore. You're on board! If it bothers you, pull back on the sexting. Its inappropriate if you don't mean it. But if not, don't worry about it, but remember, a guy will always take his signals from you, so be careful of the signals you send out.
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A couple of months ago I got back into contact with a guy I went to school with. I had always had a thing for him and as soon as we started talking again all the old feelings came back. We are both from the same city but at different universities which are at least 6 hours apart.
When we were both back in our hometown for the Easter break, we met up a couple of times. He was very keen and at first I felt that he liked me more than I liked him. We were also still talking all the time. I thought it was going really well. After our third date, he asked when he could see me again and we arranged that I would go to his house a few days later. After that I suddenly stopped hearing from him and on the day we were supposed to see each other, he cancelled at the last minute. The next day, I asked if I was going to see him before I went to my grandparents' house for a few days and he said I could come over that night. Again, he cancelled at the last minute. After that he went back to university and I didn't hear from him for over a week.
On Friday night, after not hearing from him for so long, he invited me over to his friend's house because he was back in town for a few days. He seemed really pleased to see me and when I asked why I hadn't heard from him he said he didn't know when I was coming back from my grandparents' house, which I thought was a bit of a lame excuse but accepted it because he was being so nice. We ended up having sex that night and at the time I made it really clear that I liked him and didn't want to just not hear from him again. The next day he was texting me telling me how amazing the night had been.
I'm going back to university today so I hinted that I would like to see him before I went. He asked me what time I was leaving but after that he went quiet again.
I'm really confused because before we started 'seeing' each other he told me how he was sick of sleeping around and wanted a girlfriend. He was the one who seemed really keen and told me he really liked me but he keeps going off the radar.
We're both going to be back at university until the end of May now so we won't see each other. Is it worth bothering to try and keep in touch with him or should I just forget about it? I really like him but I'm not prepared to embarrass myself by constantly chasing after him and I don't want to scare him off by asking him straight out what's going on.
I'm 19, he's 21. (link)
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I know its hard to hear, but you were a booty call. Walk away from this one and take it as a lesson learned. Don't sleep with a guy before you're even dating, unless you want to be nothing more than entertainment. You're better than that.
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I am gay. I havent had a boyfriend in months. I really want a boyfriend. My friends say "You'll Find someone" but i havent. its been 8 months. Does anyone have any advice on how to pick up a guy? (link)
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Maybe you need to stop worrying about finding happiness in another person and start wondering why you can't be content with yourself? Nobody wants somebody who doesn't even like themself. If you can't feel confident and content without a significant other, you have a bigger issue than just not being able to find a boyfriend. You need to find out what exactly what's missing inside you, why, and how to fix it. Then the right person will come along, because everyone is attracted to joyful people.
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I'm a fifteen year old girl and I have recently started to develop feelings for my step-brother. He is two years older than me and we see each other ever other weekend.
We've known each other for about eight years and we've always had a sort of love/hate relationship.
We would annoy the hell out of each other and he would insult me but recently things have become different.
Before we would wrestle and I'd just be determined to win. But now I don't care about winning I just enjoy wrestling and it isn't as serious as it was before it's more playful. Also a few times whilst we've been fighting I've brushed his lower are and felt what turns out to have been an erection. We'll be fighting and one of us will straddle the other and just sit there and tease the other. Or when we get tired I'll lie on his chest and he'll wrap his arm around me and we'll just stay there for ages.
He still insults me but it's not as intense as when we were younger.
I'm pretty sure it's not normal, I've never actually met anyone whose had a crush on their step-sibling before. I came clean to my friends about it and at first they were shocked but now they think I should go for him because it's not incest because we're only related by law not blood. I'm not sure what to do because I'm doubtful that the feelings I have towards him are mutal and even if they were I'm terrified of what would happen if I told him. What should I do? (link)
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I think it is more normal than you think. But its not a good idea to pursue anything. I know its weird right now, but just let this pass. Don't say anything to him and don't encourage anything. In a little while the feelings will pass, you'll develop a crush on someone else. Its just a crush. It WILL pass. Chances are you guys are going to always be family. Don't let a passing crush turn into something that will be awkward for you forever.
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I'm in a confusing situation, i'm 25 and basically i've been with my current boyfriend for 5 years and we have a mortgage together but things haven't been going great for me recently, my feelings have started to change and i dont see the same future that i used too. I always thought he would be the guy i wanted to marry and have children with but now thats not what i want. I'm too scared to walk away in case its just a rough patch and i would also lose everything that ive worked hard for like my beautiful house, also i'd lose the majority of our friends. To make it even more confusing is the fact that a guy that i've always had chemistry with is back on the scene, he makes me feel amazing and special and i get butterflies whenever i think of him but is it real or is it just cos things aren't good at home! I'm so confused about what to do... (link)
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I think you have to take a break. This may well be just a rough patch, but you are not married yet. If you don't take a chance now and see if you really want to be out there on your own, when you do marry you will always be wondering. And trust me, that is a nasty spot to be in. If you are not happy now, do you think marriage will change that? No my dear, it will get worse. Marriage magnifies everything. So take care of your questions now. It will be difficult, but you've basically been in a relationship your whole adult life. You don't even know what it is like to be out there on your own. I'm a huge believer in women's intuition. What is your gut telling you? Listen to that.. you are wiser than you think. And dont' be afraid to take chances. Its the only way you can grow.
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16/f
Okay, so me and this guy I've known my whole life have been talking lately, just as friends. I kind of like him and he does me too,but until something as far as a relationship happens he wants to be sex buddies and I kinda want to too.. Is there anything wrong with that? (link)
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It never works. If you try it, in 3 months you're going to be right back here asking "Why doesn't he want a relationship? He always says the nicest things, but he says he doesn't want a girlfriend. Why?" You're going to do what you want to do. But when it turns to crap, remember this question you asked, and learn.
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Ok so I dated this guy for 3 months last year. I'm 18 and he's 25. He broke up with me in December. He said he needed to work on himself. While we were together we had some issues with communication. I thought we could work them out so I was surprised and devastated at the break up, but I tried to move on. 3 weeks after that he called me and we talked for about 4 hours which resulted in us getting back together. So everything was going good. Then I stopped hearing from him. His phone was off and I had no way to get in touch with him. About 4 weeks later he called me and said he was stuck in Mexico, had no charger for his phone and he didn't have my number memorized so he couldn't call. I basically said it was fine and we were still together. Then another 3 weeks goes by without my hearing from him and he sends me a text asking how I am and if we're still together. I said yes and then 2 days later he texts me and says he just wants to be friends. Now I'm trying to move on but he keeps texting me telling me he misses me and I was the best thing in his life but its so confusing because if that's the truth then why break up. (link)
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This guy is 25? He sounds 14. I'm not even being sarcastic. He really sounds like a boy. Dump him. There's someone out there better for you. You're missing him because you're spending so much time worrying about this flake.
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I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4years, im happy and we love each other, the only problem is, my dad doesnt like him. He gets along with my mum & she absolutely loves him! At the start when we first started dating my dad seem to like him until he started judging him on little things. Because he is 3 years older than me, (im 20) he doesnt have a house or nice car or isnt like a man he wishes my boyfriend to be, it really upsets me. My dad never really says anything positive about him until 1 day we almost broke up & I was really upset, he seemed to care then about our relationship? & he went back to normal again... My boy is good to me, he buys me everything, treats me right, knows how to have fun & he may not have the best job in the world but his always willing to work hard. My dad always judges him and he doesnt realise my bf looks up to him becuase he respects him. Its makes me sad becuase it always feels awkward when they are both together (even though they are friendly towrds each other) and knowing the fact that my dad secretly hates him, well I dont know for sure, but its not something I can never ask my dad the truth. I have feeling its becuase he doesnt want me to waste my time (i can do better) and wants me to have a good future and my bf isnt the right one... & he always remindes my sister to find a bf that has a trade or 'good job'(referring to me)??? I have no idea.. please help!
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I don't believe your dad hates your boyfriend. I believe he LOVES you... so much that there will never be anybody good enough for his little girl. If this relationship is the real thing, and long term, perhaps it is time for your boyfriend to sit down alone with your dad and have a heart to heart talk. He needs to explain to him that it seems like he (your dad) doesn't really like him. He needs to tell him he understands that he is protective of his little girl, but that he (boyfriend) loves you, respects you, and wants to be there for you. He needs to tell your dad what his intentions toward you are. Believe me, a one on one chat will do a lot to improving your dad's opinion of him. That takes a lot of guts and proves that he is serious, and also respects your family. Any father would be impressed by that. If your boyfriend refuses to do something like that, I would question that, and maybe dad isn't so far off in his opinion. But, if you love each other as much as you say, I think your boyfriend would be willing to do anything to make you happy and make things easier for the both of you and your family situation. Good luck.
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hey well ive been with my boyfriend for just over a year now there is quite a big age gap I am 19 and he is 31 he is my first love. at the beginning I didnt care if was a dj he doesnt do that no nope he does admin and today I found out he hangs with loads of girls in his dinner hour I got paranoid straight away. it all started when he added his ex on facebook to me that was a bit strange. hes always looking at her photos and stuff, he never reassure me at all he makes it out that im in the wrong all the time never wants to talk and sometimes it causes a arguement. I want to trust him but I really dont want to get hurt I think hes going to go of with a blonde haired skinny girl I just really need some advice. he never tells me what he feels or ever tells me its me he wants I feel so shit all the time Im starting to feel like I should finish it help me please xx (link)
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Ok, let's break this down, according to what you say about the relationship:
1)he hangs out with other women, a lot
2)always looking at his ex
3)never says anything nice or reassuring to you
4)makes everything your fault
5)never tells you how he feels
6)never tells you what he wants
If this were your best friend, what would you tell her to do?
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