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Mom overreacts to the point she drives herself to actually hate me
My mom gets really angry really easily. I'm her only daughter and i'm 16 and she treats me like i'm disposable.
Like today she found out that I missed school because the power went out and screwed up my alarm clock last night.
I told her what happened and she refused to believe me and made up all sorts of crazy delusions in her head about what she thinks really happened. She started screaming and cussing me out and telling me that she's going to call social services and have them come take me away because she hates me so much and that she thinks i'm a complete failure.
Every time anything go's the least bit wrong she go's nuts. She makes up scenarios in her head that never actually happened and lets them build her anger up.
Every single day she explodes about something and always takes it out on me.
She thinks she's the perfect parent though and whenever shes around anybody else she acts positively angelic.
I'm always being accused of something and I never get a say in the matter. If I try to explain myself she slaps me and tells me to shut up.
Yet she'll go on an on about how I abuse her trust and how she's the perfect parent and that I don't deserve her.
I really think she hates me.
She always insults me and belittles everything I do. Nothing is ever good enough for her and every day I come home from school to a pissed off mother who stresses me out the point i've thought about calling DCF.
She's even gotten angry to the point she pushed me down the stairs and hit me with a pan.
I'm in all honors classes with A's and B's and i've never been to the discipline office for anything.
I don't know why she thinks i'm such a horrible monster but she does and it drives me crazy.
What can I do about her?
I can't live with my dad because he lives in a really tiny 1 bedroom apartment with 13 cats and a 12 hour job. He barely has enough money for himself and his pets so he wouldn't be able to take care of me.
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You're mom is abusive. I know that may be a little hard to accept, but that isn't a normal relationship and you shouldn't have to deal with it. Go to your school's counselor.
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First, recognize that both of your parents have psychological problems and are basically incapable of being psychologically stable adults.
That means you are going to have to suck it up and basically manage your own life and pretty much ignore the shenanigans of your mom and dad. You are definitely not a bad person, so don't let your wacko mother steamroller you into a bad self-image.
Step back, relax, plan out how you are going to ultimately extricate yourself from this hell you're in and make a happy life for yourself. That means getting ready for college and then leaving home once you can enter university. And again, don't listen to the negative messages they give you.
Good luck. I feel for you.
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I'm not going to be judgemental, I can't be as I am not there. What I don't like in what you have written is the slapping and the fact that as you have written;"She's even gotten angry to the point she pushed me down the stairs and hit me with a pan."
The slapping, and I am assuming it is across the face, and the pushing you down the stairs. Is to me child abuse. While you could go to DCF yourself I do not suggest it.
What I do suggest is that you talk with a trusted teacher, your guidance counselor or school principal. Once you tell them what is happening at home, specifically the slapping and pushing you down the stairs, they are requires by law to follow certain guidelines to see that you are not in jeopardy.
You will most likely be asked a lot of question some of which I believe would be: When did this start, when did these things happen, how long has this been going on and questions like this. Answer them truthfully and to the best of your knowledge or remembrance.
If mom is suffering from depression or some other illness Social Services will try to help her as well as to protect you. This why it is important to be as truthful as you can be in answering there questions. If you don't know the answer, don't make one up. Simply tell them you can't remember or you don't know. Some questions they ask do not have a right or wrong answer.
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Your mom has issues. She must think that your going to fail in life. she must have had troubles growing up and shes probably afraid that you might mess up. what she is doing is not right because no one is perfect. and how she handles you is just plain wrong.
You need to hang in there and try not to let her actions get to you. If worse comes to worse then you'd have to go to child services. You sound like an intelligent girl and you dont deserve this kind of abuse especially from your mom. Even though you love your mom you must think of whats best for you. Its going to be hard but try to keep your head up for now while your with her.
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I answered your question before, but i wanted to add something. My Father was physically and emotionally abusive to me for years. I always thought it was my fault. My mother was the same way, except she didn't hit me. It wasn't my fault and it's not your fault either. That's not what i was trying to say in my first answer. I am now a Mother of four and i have NEVER hit or abused any of my children in ANY way! I do not even "spank" them as a form of discipline. Anyway, i now understand how hard it is to be a "mom" and i've been a "single mom" before too. It's very hard and it takes a tow on you emotionally and physically. It's something that a 16 year old just would not understand because i didnt when i was your age and going through the same thing. I suffer from depression and i'm bipolar, but i have never abused my children. I just want you to understand more than anything that your Mother loves you, she doesn't hate you! It feels like she hates you because of how she treats you, but let me tell you. She secretly feels like crap for treating you that way and she will regret it for the rest of her life. My Mother does. Its hard to have any control over anything when your a teenager, but i think talking to a close friend or close family member would indeed be a good idea. I'm not real sure about anyone at the school. I think you should even tell your Dad whats going on. Even if he can't take care of you right now. He might FIND a way if he knows what is going on! I just didn't want you to think i meant it was something you were doing wrong because i wasn't trying to say that. I re read what i wrote and it didnt really come out the way i planned for it to. If your religious try to pray, prayer is powerful. Pray for God to give your Mother the patience she needs. And pray that God will give you the strength to get through this. Although this is NOT something you should be going through. No one should go through anything like that. Your Mother is the person that's supposed to keep you safe, not harm you. I agree that you could end up in a place worse than where your at if you contact child services. Please try to stay strong and dont EVER let someone make you feel worthless or a monster! I know what your going through. I've been on both sides. I know what its like to be abused, and i also know all the stress that comes with raising kids, but i've never harmed my children. So, i guess it's all in making the right or wrong choice. And your Mom is making alot of wrong ones. I hope you can eventually find a way to get out of this situation your in. And when you do, please don't let this affect your self confidence. It did mine. Your a strong person. Show her how strong you are... emotionally. Good luck with everything. -Christy
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Your mom is not normal or stable. She sounds like she has some very serious and dangerous mental issues. It is very sad that you have to be the one to endure the consequences of her mental illness. I think, for your safety (emotional as well as physical) you need to find a way to leave as soon as possible. Think hard. Think very hard. In 2 years you will be 18 and able to legally live alone, hold a job and support yourself. Until then, is there ANYONE you can stay with that you trust? its temporary, don't forget. A best friend with a family you know and trust? A family member? You could call DCF, but that should be a last resort. Oftentimes the child can end up getting sent to worse places than where they came from. Trust me, you don't want to get put into the system unless you have absolutely no other choice in the world. You could be in even more danger than at home. That being said, you need help. Try talking to your school counselor. It will be totally private and they may have an idea of how to help. Or take your issues to a trusted adult - family member, church leader, etc. You can't deal with this on your own. And, if you feel you just have no other place to go, then yes, call DCF, because right now, you have to find a way out of there. And you are not a horrible monster. Your mother is sick, she sounds like she literally has a mental disease, and that makes her say and do things that have nothing to do with you or how you are or act. You are fine. Your mother is not. I wish you luck.
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