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Confused about life
Hi. I'm turning 18 in September, I live in PA. I graduate high school in June and originally the plan was for me to move down with my mom, brother and sister to Georgia. I was excited about the move because I enjoy GA and a lot of family members live there, however, as the time approaches, I'm wanting to go less and less. This happend for several reasons. My friends, most of them, are staying in-state and attending the local community colleges or just colleges that are close by. I recently got a boyfriend 1 month ago. And I found out that colleges charge per-semester, meaning that, just to attend a community college in GA (which I have to if I go) will cost me $20,000 for the first year since I'm not a resident of the state! All of these together are causing me great stress and it's on my mind 24/7. I try talking to my family but they get pissed now since I'm changing my mind. But, it's my life right? I should be able to choose where I want to attend college. The main issue was that I would need a place to stay if I stay here because I would attend community college; that issue was solved because a friend of my mom's who we've known our whole lives would have no problem taking me in, yet my mom still refuses! Then my best friend mentioned applying to this one school, a 4-year, which is kind of easy to get into, and I could stay in the dorms, etc. But I feel guilty doing this behind my mother's back and I'm not sure if I really want to live in a dorm. I really don't know what to do. I'm getting depressed even though this time of year should be joyous for a high school senior. Should I just refuse to go? It's my life, why should I let my mother rule over it? She's not even paying for college, and when I told her how much it would cost for an out-of-state student all she said was "that sucks". I'm so close to running away because I just can't deal with this stress of everyone trying to tell me what to do; family, friends. I'm 100% sure I want to stay here for now. Please help and give me ANY advice, thank you.
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I'm going to give you a simple answer. Follow your intuition. Write down all these stressors to get them off your mind, and which ever choice feels more desirable, then go with that. Even if it seems impossible, you must do what you want to do. You are becoming an adult, you are mature and motivated.
You need to run your own life. Of course it is totally normal and necessary to go to mom and dad for help. But in the end you must do whatever makes you happiest. Even if your mom is totally pissed, or the entire family disagrees, and although you may feel guilt, you can not please everyone. You should be free :D. I'm about your age as well and my parents taught me to go with whatever feels best even if they may not agree. There is no wrong or right answer. And don't choose a location just because that's were your bf is at-but of course it's your choice.
Despite family criticism, mom's opinion,you are in control. express your independence...and do what feels right :)
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First, you shouldn't degrade your choice of colleges just to fit a need for housing.
Secondly, you can go down to Georgia, work for a year, and save money (you are going to need it for tuition and books anyway) and then go to JC when you are eligible for in state tuition.
The thing is that when you stay with your parents while you go to college it makes things a whole lot easier psychologically. You aren't that worried about losing your job, you get three meals a day you don't pay for and you will always have a roof over your head no matter what. In exchange for that, you owe it to your folks to hit the books HARD.
As for the boyfriend back home, very little chance of that developing into anything permanent. Sorry to say, but you should probably break up with him.
Once you finish JC, you will then have the option of determining where you want to go to to finish the final two years of your undergrad education, so there is still time to get away from mom and dad if you just feel as if you are outgrowing living with them. Once you wrap up your bachelor's, try living overseas for a while. It's good for you.
But you gotta make definite plans and that year break in Georgia from school gives you time to carefully do so.
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i faced the same issue 3 years ago and it tore me up but i would honestly tell you to not to do what i did ...follow your heart and stay where you are if i had done that maybe i would be happier and who knows where else but i chose to go where my family was and in the end they ended up turning their backs on me...sweetie follow your heart and let it take you where it chooses and just be happy. If you are happy there then stay and figure out a way to go to school and dont stay because of a guy stay because you want to
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