My favourite quote is 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you'.
Life really is a roller-coaster with it's ups and downs and varying speeds. Yet no matter how hard you try to stay on an even keel, something always comes along to kick you in the teeth and remind you just how fragile life is. We are all trying to live the best we know how and to get along together. So take time to appreciate those around you and tell them how much you love them occasionally. A smile and a kind word speaks volumes.
Gender: Female
Location: Dorset
Occupation: Housewife/Mother/Counsellor/Volunteer
Member Since: April 20, 2006
Answers: 798
Last Update: February 17, 2009
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Okay...backround info: I'm a girl, and I'm in my sophmore year of highschool. I have a boyfriend named James and he's a junior. We've been going out for 9 months and I love him...no...I'm in love with him, and I know he's in love with me too.
Fairy Tale ends there :(
Problem:
The past couple of weeks he's been acting sort of strange. He's been more affectionate at school and he'll just get me these random gifts...he trys to be with me every single second... and he's being way overprotective lately.
It's not that that bothers me either, but sometimes I just kind of caught him staring at me with this kind of worried expression or he would be really quiet around me...pensive.
So I decided to bring up his behavior after school today and here's what he said.
James/Botfriend: I love you and I don't want to lose you.
I was so shocked!
What could I possibly have done to make him think that he was losing me? Honestly I need advice here.
I was about to ask him about it, but I didn't get over the shock until his teacher was calling him up to the stage for rehearsal...
I don't know what to do now...or what to say to him...or even how to act?
What could I possibly have done to make him believe I didn't want to be with him? (link)
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You may well have done/said nothing at all. Is it possible that someone in school, or even his family may have inadvertantly said something that has caused him to question your loyalty? Perhaps there is a rival for your affections (or even his) and they are trying to split you up.
Please reassure him that he is the only one and you have no intentions of leaving him. Ask him to share with you what has caused this problem and then you can deal with it together.
He does sound a little insecure and only your reassurance will help. However, if he gets too clingy you may have to ask him to back off and give you some space. He needs to trust that you won't hurt him. Best wishes.
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hi my names jess well today i had sex with my boyfriend. when we were done i realized the condom went into me. the ring was facing downwards and it was filled with cum. the cum was still inside the condom. if it was facing down not up is ther still a really good chance im pregnant. also ive been on birth control for 4 months but 3 of them it hasnt work so last month i got switched to a higher one. please tell me if i have a good chance of being pregnant?
thank you (link)
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When there is a problem with the contraceptives used, there is always a possibility of getting pregnant.
If it is not too late your best bet would be to go to the doctor for the morning after pill (you do have more than 24 hours in which to take it). However, if you read this message after more than a day then I suggest you wait a couple of weeks then take a pregnancy test.
I would like to say that your chances of being pregnant are low considering you are on birth control, but sperm can be sneaky little things and can catch you out unexpectedly at times.
Try not to worry for the moment because that can cause your period to be late too.
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im abby 16 year old..my friends have a quarrel & i think it takes some time before they'll forgive each other..i did some way to make the misunderstanding calm but it didn't work..they using their own "pride" & we only have some months to have some bonding.. what will i do..? thanks in advance..(^_^) (link)
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The quarrel appears to be between your friends and you are the go-between if I am reading your question correctly.
It is a very difficult place for you to be and I suggest that you allow your friends to work this out for themselves. Stay close to them both and tell them that you are going to stay neutral to their argument.
If they are in agreement, try to arrange a meeting somewhere like the shopping mall or a coffee shop where they can talk alone. Get them to agree that only one person can talk at a time with no interruptions, then leave them to it for an hour or so.
I wish you all the best with this.
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13/f
I really want to get my belly pieced but my parents won't let me because they say i'm too young.I've wanted to get it done for a while what are some things i can say to get them to let me piece my belly?
thanx (link)
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I believe that it would be better for you to accept their decision for another year. I agree with them that you are a little too young at the moment.
The reason I suggest waiting without complaining is this:
If you agree to wait but suggest talking it through next year, they may feel that you are being sensible now and could well change their minds next year. I know that 365 days sounds a very long time but it will soon pass. If you accept what they say now without protest, you will have a better chance when you are older of changing their minds about something far more important should you need them to. Good luck.
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15/f
ok i have temper tandrums so i have alot anger built up inside me any way to get my anger out before i expode b/c between skool, my boifriend, my mama life has been close to hell so plz help thanx (link)
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It would help if you could channel all that pent up emotion in a physical way. Is it possible to join a kick-boxing club or martial arts club where you live?
They will also be able to offer you help with controlling your anger and emotions. The discipline needed can set you up for life if you take it seriously.
If you are having problems with your boyfriend and your mum, you perhaps need to sit down and discuss these with them without exploding. If that is not possible write it all down and ask them to read what has been written (separately).
Take little steps to begin with and once your self-esteem and and self-worth are back, that's when life will become sweet again. All the best.
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ok well sometimes when im talkimg to some guys at school idk how to respond so im like "okay.." like this guy always says that we're tight.. and i keep saying "okayy" and i wanna say something else like funny but idk.. like i've know him for 2 years now but with some guys its a little hard to open up. btw im 13 and a girl. thanks :) (link)
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Sometimes it can help to repeat back a little of what has just been said to you. That way a guy will know that you are listening and understanding what he is saying to you.
For instance if he says:
"and I really like going to the park to kick a ball around"
you could then say back "so you really like going to the park - so do I"
Try not to repeat back parrot fashion or too much.
It is called reflecting back and can work well.
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can u get any disease or anything from fingering. or anything dangerous/ the doctor could see. how bout bj? (link)
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Yes you can get the wart virus from someone who has a wart on their fingers. If the person who is giving a blow job has a cold sore you could also contract the herpes virus. The doctor will not be bothered by these things because he/she will have dealt with them a million times before. As said before always make sure hands are always scrupulously clean and fingernails are short.
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Hello! I am a 17-year old female. I am not sexually active but lately a kind of thick white substance has been coming from my vagina. It doesn't have a smell or anything, but is there something wrong with me? Please help (link)
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Totally normal unless it gets unpleasant in any way. I suggest using panty liners to help keep you fresh during the day.
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Let me explain. Spiritually I'm dead because I don't believe in God anymore.And even if I did I would think he's a complete asshole loser, that doesntdeserve half of what he asks for. Mentally I'm dead because I'm seriously going mental, I can't concentrate, i'm irrational, but worst of all its like there's no going back I just can't stop stealing, being a bitch and screwing everything up. Physically I'm dead because I did some stupid things online and like I said I steal and my grades are going down, so i may as well be dead or i might be dead soon because of the stuff online. Worst of all is I'm really 12 I act like a fucking 16 year old though. I live in Tennesee and this s pretty how my life is being ruined. I need help. as much as I can get. I'm not emo or a "special case" but I have very very seriously considered suicide and running away. actually I would run away if I had a logical way of staying out of the streets and rapists.
(link)
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Facing up to the fact that you have problems is a big step forward and you should feel pleased with yourself.
It is extremely difficult to offer solutions over the internet because without face-to-face contact, reactions are impossible to see.
Spiritually, you only need to believe in your self worth. To do that you have to be honest with yourself. You have started that process so please don't worry about not believing in God.
Mentally you know that you are doing wrong and it is turning you in on yourself. Everything that is wrong in your life is eating away inside and until you start to put things right you will not feel mentally well.
Physically you have to acknowledge that in order to feel better you need to atone for your wrongdoing. As far as possible you should apologise or make reparation for the thefts and own up to them. Not easy I know but can be done.
Running away solves nothing and brings with it its own set of problems. At 12 years old you will always be taken back home or eventually end up in care.
I suggest that you go into school and make an appointment to see a counsellor. If you don't feel able to say all that is wrong try writing it down and ask the counsellor to read it. The counsellor is bound by rules and cannot give away any information you tell them. They will not call the police unless you are a danger to yourself or anyone else. They are there to help you sort out your life and to help you make the decisions you need to take in order to do so.
If you break down everything that is going on for you into small, bite-size pieces it will be easier for you to deal with.
I wish you all the best with this. Take care.
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my friend, male 17.
is going to jail for taking his mom's car and driving it to school with a suspended license.
his sister came to be bawling today.
and she told me what happend.
and she basicly thinks she is turning him in.
she cant take it.
i mean its like turing in your own brother!
but she had no choice.
its been bugging me all day.
what am i to do?
i care about him so much that its bugging me like alot.
help? (link)
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You friend made the choices he did and now he will be punished for it. His sister did not make him drive the car to school so she should not be blaming herself.
Hopefully, he will have learnt his lesson this time and it will make him more wary of breaking the law in future.
You can only be there as a supportive friend for both of them. Write to him in jail and continue to support his sister through his time in jail.
There is not a lot else you can do for them at the moment. Good luck.
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i was pregnant, and my boyfriend made me take pills to "take care" of it... ((i didnt want to do that, i wanted to keep it, so please dont be rude and say bad things about what i did... i already feel horrible and feel like a muderer)) but anyways.. e gaveme pills to do it.. i was 1 1/2 months along.. i took them last night... the whole night i was in unbelievable plain and well it was awful... i was talking with him today.. and with my other friend about it.. and they said i was supposed to bleed a lot after words... but i didnt.. i bled.. but not a lot... by me bleeding even if it was a little.. does that mean that its gone? that i have lost it.... or do i still have a chance to be pregnant?? my stomach feels strange and i have cramps... but i dont know if it worked or not... or if the pills just made something strange happen.... what do you guys think?? (link)
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Please, please, please go and see a doctor. Are you completely sure that your boyfriend gave you the correct medication?
You only did what you thought was right at the time and we are not here to judge you.
I am mostly concerned that you go and get professional assistance to make sure that you have successfully terminated your pregnancy without any side effects.
The doctor will not judge you either. Never let someone who does not have medical training give you medication in the future for this. Please always go to a pharmicist for the morning after pill if you have another accident. I wish you all the best but please seek medical advice right now.
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I noticed you have been on for a while and wanted to know will I mostly be answering 14 and 15 year olds?
I am new to this but would love to help more than underaged sexpots. I see you're a bit older, do you have any advice for me? Is there somewhere I can go to find the adults?
This is day 1 for me, maybe I'm being impatient. (link)
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You can answer any question on any subject as long as you are able to give good solid advice.
Always make sure of your facts and give an honest opinion.
There are a lot of questions from teens, but I believe that is only because they like the anonymity of this site.
If you don't feel able to answer a question asked directly of you, be honest and tell them or reject the question.
If you want to ask a question of an adult on this site, you can look through their profiles or requests answers only from adults.
We are a very friendly lot on here and welcome you with open arms. All the best.
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I love this girl.
She lives in Ireland, and I live in the US. Her mother decided last week I'm not allowed to speak to her anymore. Naturally, I'm heartbroken.
How can I get over her? (15/f)
HELP!! (link)
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You need to perform an act of closure to help you move on. Write her a letter telling her everything that you feel. Explain why you cannot speak to her any more and also put down your feelings about her mother. It doesn't matter if you rant and rave or cover the page in your love, you won't send it.
Once you have purged yourself of everything concerning Shona, take the letter outside and burn it. Tell the ashes goodbye, blow them away and then go back indoors to get on with your life.
I know it all sounds weird but believe me it really helps. All the best.
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okay please dont judge me im begginnggg you..
but im 14 gonna be 15 in like 8 days.
but me n my boyfriend of 3 years have had sex b4.
and this last time we had it he didnt wear a condom.
i took a test and it showed up positive.
i took one about 3 weeks ago.
i took another one just last week and that one also said positive.
i have no i dea what to do.
my byfriend and i both want to keep it.
but have no idea how to tell our parents.
pleasee tell me something to doo. (link)
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I am not judging you because the deed has been done.
Here is my advice:
Go to a doctor and have the pregnancy confirmed. Listen to his/her advice because they will be able to refer you on to a pregnancy service for teenagers. They will give you all the information you need on making a very huge decision about yours and the baby's future.
Once you have established a definite pregnancy and have discussed your options with a professional, then is the time to tell your parents.
If you decide to keep the baby they will all probably be hugely disappointed. However, look to the future and hold onto that vision. Your parents will most likely melt at the sight of their new grandchild.
If my own daughter were to fall pregnant at 14, yes I would be very angry and upset, it is a natural reaction to my daughter growing up too early. I would listen to her wishes and support her the very best I could, but I would be disappointed all the same.
Please don't try to hide the situation because you need a lot of support.
Have faith in yourselves and the fact that your parents do love you and only want the best. Ride out the storm that will surely come and know that it will not last forever. Every day that passes by is another day closer to being an adult and you will get through this.
I wish you all the very best and very good luck.
In answer to your recent question - the answer is yes I would.
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okay so im low on cash and i need some quick...i want to babysit so if anyone has suggestions on how i can like tell/show i need a job babysitting
thanks in advance all replies are appreciated
-Maeve :] (link)
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If you are able to on your computer why not put together a flyer with some information about yourself and your services. Include any experience you have and your charges, plus as you are quite young, the fact that you have access to immediate help should you require it (ie. your Mum).
Go on a first aid course or babysitting course that might be run by your local authority to show you are serious about it. Do a bit of background research into looking after babies and young children and then post the flyers through the doors of young families.
Offer to meet the children first if you are invited to babysit and always check that the people you will sit for are reliable and safe.
Good luck.
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I don't live with my little sister anymore because she now lives with my dad from about a year ago. I really mean a lot to her because my dad says everytime she hears my voice she crys because she misses me so much. It was her birthday on the 29th and i forgot to call her. I feel really guilty and i really want to make up to her. I havent spoken to her yet. What can i do about it? what can i buy her? shes 10 by the way...but she is very mature.
thankz in advance (link)
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Honesty is always the best policy. Explain the truth to her and also say that you will make it up to her. Buy her something that she can keep and then write a little note with it saying that it comes from your heart to hers and every time she wears/uses it she will know how much you love her. Take time out to ring her at least once a week and send her emails/letters with funny stories or jokes. Sometimes the smallest gesture has the biggest impact.
Tell your sister that you will always be there for her and perhaps come up with a secret word that she can use if she needs help.
She is very precious and will make a considerable difference to your life. Cherish her the very best you can. All the best.
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As far as the topic of breast feeding goes, is it really better to do that instead of feeing your baby formula? Does breast milk have any advantages besides beind cost free?
Is it true that breast feeding helps a mother lose pregnancy weight? Is it also true that breast feeding makes your breasts sag? (link)
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To answer your last two questions first:
It is true that breastfeeding does help a mother lose weight and yes it can make your breasts sag eventually.
There are advantages to breastfeeding in that it is convenient, always on tap, the right temperature and free. However, I found it extremely painful and very difficult to do. If you get the right support (which I didn't) you can feed successfully. I fed my three children each for about 3 weeks until I couldn't do it any more then put them onto formula. I didn't find it inconvenient to bottle feed them and they didn't suffer any adverse reactions. They are all slim, healthy adults now and don't appear to have had any problems bonding with me. It did give their Dad a chance to help out too and to feel the closeness feeding a baby by bottle can bring.
Hope my opinions on this help you out. All the best.
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14/f
i need a halloween costume that is quick and easy to make. i dont have money to buy a costume, because most of them are pretty expensive, so i need something that i can easily pull together with things from around the house or with things that will cost like under 15 dollars. my friend is setting me up with this kid ive never met before halloween night and we're all going to go out trick or treating together and things like that, so i need something thats cute, but not like slutty.
(link)
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If you have a black leotard, black tight trousers or leggings and black boots, why not put it all together and turn yourself into a cat. It is quite easy to make a pair of ears and a tail using old black tights and paint a nose and whiskers onto your face. Have fun.
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Theres this boy named kyle =) .. he is amazing i love him soo much he means the world 2 me (L) ..
But he doesnt love me =( .. He has blocked me on msn he says i annoy him :^)(U) .. but the grls sed b4 tha he sed he lyked me but i think they were lying (N) ..
I love him soo much not having him in my life makes me feel lyk sum1 is pushing a knife through my heart :^)(U) ..
He has got a girlfriend i hate her :@ ..
i jus want him in my life .. my lifes not living without him :^)(U)
W.b (link)
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You cannot make another person love you. I suggest that you back off from contacting him for a while. Make your social life as interesting and fun as you can to take your mind off him.
Sometimes people can be quite perverse (i.e. wanting what they can't have) so I suggest letting this boy see that you can have a great life without him. He may well decide that because you are ignoring him, he wants what he can't have - you.
However, if he really does not want to go out with you, forget him and find something who is worthy of your attention.
Good luck.
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My boobs tingle & not grow, & I got off my period a week & 3 days ago. what does this mean? (link)
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I am not medically trained so any answer I give is just my opinion. I do not know how old you are so:
If you are young it means that you are still experiencing changes in your hormone levels and this is causing the tingling. Your breasts will develop slowly regardless of your periods.
If you are an older teen then the tingling again will still be changes in your hormones levels.
Depending on how developed your breasts already are, they may or may not grow further. I did not develop what I would call proper breasts until I was in my twenties. Everyone grows at different rates so have a little patience for the moment.
Hope my answer has helped a bit. All the best.
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