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Spiritually, Mentally, Physically dead
Let me explain. Spiritually I'm dead because I don't believe in God anymore.And even if I did I would think he's a complete asshole loser, that doesntdeserve half of what he asks for. Mentally I'm dead because I'm seriously going mental, I can't concentrate, i'm irrational, but worst of all its like there's no going back I just can't stop stealing, being a bitch and screwing everything up. Physically I'm dead because I did some stupid things online and like I said I steal and my grades are going down, so i may as well be dead or i might be dead soon because of the stuff online. Worst of all is I'm really 12 I act like a fucking 16 year old though. I live in Tennesee and this s pretty how my life is being ruined. I need help. as much as I can get. I'm not emo or a "special case" but I have very very seriously considered suicide and running away. actually I would run away if I had a logical way of staying out of the streets and rapists.
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Facing up to the fact that you have problems is a big step forward and you should feel pleased with yourself.
It is extremely difficult to offer solutions over the internet because without face-to-face contact, reactions are impossible to see.
Spiritually, you only need to believe in your self worth. To do that you have to be honest with yourself. You have started that process so please don't worry about not believing in God.
Mentally you know that you are doing wrong and it is turning you in on yourself. Everything that is wrong in your life is eating away inside and until you start to put things right you will not feel mentally well.
Physically you have to acknowledge that in order to feel better you need to atone for your wrongdoing. As far as possible you should apologise or make reparation for the thefts and own up to them. Not easy I know but can be done.
Running away solves nothing and brings with it its own set of problems. At 12 years old you will always be taken back home or eventually end up in care.
I suggest that you go into school and make an appointment to see a counsellor. If you don't feel able to say all that is wrong try writing it down and ask the counsellor to read it. The counsellor is bound by rules and cannot give away any information you tell them. They will not call the police unless you are a danger to yourself or anyone else. They are there to help you sort out your life and to help you make the decisions you need to take in order to do so.
If you break down everything that is going on for you into small, bite-size pieces it will be easier for you to deal with.
I wish you all the best with this. Take care.
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