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pregnant...
okay please dont judge me im begginnggg you..
but im 14 gonna be 15 in like 8 days.
but me n my boyfriend of 3 years have had sex b4.
and this last time we had it he didnt wear a condom.
i took a test and it showed up positive.
i took one about 3 weeks ago.
i took another one just last week and that one also said positive.
i have no i dea what to do.
my byfriend and i both want to keep it.
but have no idea how to tell our parents.
pleasee tell me something to doo.
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Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Im not going to judge you as a person in either a good or bad light but one thing I can say is that this is the irresponsiblity that should scare you about having a child. Your not even mature enough to know how to handle this situation correctly. Thats why kids shouldnt have kids.
Children cant raise children nor should they have to. Your best years have yet to come and until you get around 17 or 18 you barely understand what's going on around you.
You may be a smart young girl, you may know how to show love and I'm sure your child will be a beautiful child but your role as a parent is to know how to care for the child, pay for the child, teach the child and at 15 you dont know anything yet.
One thing adults hate about being grown up is that you now are in complete control over your whole life. Theres no mommy to come and cook for you and clean for you. Theres no one to go to and tell them when you're hungry. Now it's on you and thats just being an adult and your saying with having a child at your age that you are willing to give up your entire childhood to prove that you can do something this major and it does scare me a bit as it should you.
I am 100% against abortion but stories like this make me understand how aborting one life can save another. Honestly if you have this child, you will miss out on anything wonderful and great you could have achieved by finishing school and becoming a phenomenal woman before being a mother which takes so much to accomplish just to be a good one.
I can go on forever with this so I will stop there and hope that you take this issued directly to your parents and dont hide it. Anything can happen to you or your baby and I want you to be safe and do the right thing.
Good luck to you....
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Tests aren't always right, but 2 positive ones in a row is a pretty big kick in the butt. This baby is just as much your boyfriend's as it is yours, so the choices you make should be made together. Don't leave him out of the decision making process.
Having a kid at 15 is a large deal. Hell, you're practically still a kid yourself. But if you think you have the resources to take care of YOUR baby, then do it. If you think you can give your child a loving home, and the care he/she needs, then keep it. Don't give it away because someone on advicenators told you too, and vice-versa. Don't just keep it because i'm telling you to. But think long and hard. If you can take care of the baby, then just do it. Please..
You've gotten plenty of good advice on telling your parents, so I shouldn't have to say anything about that.
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you really need to talk about this with someone who is an adult. talk about it to a teacher you like... to a school counsiler. talk to your doctor.., you may want to go to planned parent hood. they will give you a real pregnancy test. they will also talk with you about your choices.. everything will be confidental.. but you deffiently need to talk about it with someone other than your boyfriend. your health is at risk too. make a plan on telling your parents after you talk about it with your counsilars and everything. but you need to do that NOW because you will need your parents support threw all of your pregnancy.
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Well right now I think it would be best if you go and talk to your school counsler or at some schools they have a parenting counsler...they did at my high school. It does not really matter if they know who it is, and it might be a good idea to have your boyfriend come with you. But Then you might ask if there is a way to have your parents come in for a meeting, and have the counsler there when you tell them. When I got pregnant in high school thats what I did. It helped alot because then i didnt have to be alone when I had to tell my parents. It is most likely that you are if every test has come up positive. If you have a supportive boyfriend, parents, I would keep the kid. I kept my little girl and I am so glad that I did! I refused to have an abortion when I got pregnant because my veiws on it was that it was murder and i wasnt giving my baby a fair life. I really didnt want to put her p for adoption because I didnt want to regret it later. But honestly it will be hard it will not be easy! Some days will be harder than others and one of the hardest parts is going through school when you start to really pop. You really do need to get your parents in volved. They will be upset with you trust me but after about a month of fighting they will back you up a 100% and be there for you. If you keep the baby to the best idea I can give to you is if you are in a good relationship with your boyfriend then try and stay in it with him.... you never know you might end up marrying him some day :). But do not force yourself to stay in a bad relationship with someone that does not treat you right. If you need any help feel free to ask, i have been in your position! Good Luck!!!
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School counselor first.
Its strangely easier to say things like this to a stranger. Tell them that you want to tell your parents but dont know how and you need someone who can say things if you cant talk.
Dont bring your boyfriend into it at that stage. Dont tell the counselor who got you pregnant. Tell them that you arent going to tell them if you have to. This is what counselors are there for. To be there when you need an adult and cant go to anyone else at that time.
After your parents have been informed, tell them everything. You can tell your parents that you didnt want to name your boyfriend in front of the counselor but you are going to tell them.
I cant say if its a good idea for you to keep the baby. I can honestly say that adoption would be a better idea. No idea on your stance on abortion. But keeping this kid...
Its not good for kids to have parents who are 15. You cannot take care of your kid and provide the positive role model that the child needs at your age. I would argue for not keeping the kid one way or another, because its whats best for your child. There are MANY loving families who would love to adopt an infant. People who cannot have children but want one very, very badly, and who would give your child the life they deserve.
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Tell a school nurse or a teacher or a school counselor. Calmly explain your situation to them, and ask them to help you tell your parents. It would probably be best if you told your parents before your boyfriend told his on one hand, but on the other, it might be best to tell them both at the same time. Make sure that your boyfriend is with you when you tell the nurse, teacher or counselor, also.
No judgement here, just a bit of sympathy. =/
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I am not judging you because the deed has been done.
Here is my advice:
Go to a doctor and have the pregnancy confirmed. Listen to his/her advice because they will be able to refer you on to a pregnancy service for teenagers. They will give you all the information you need on making a very huge decision about yours and the baby's future.
Once you have established a definite pregnancy and have discussed your options with a professional, then is the time to tell your parents.
If you decide to keep the baby they will all probably be hugely disappointed. However, look to the future and hold onto that vision. Your parents will most likely melt at the sight of their new grandchild.
If my own daughter were to fall pregnant at 14, yes I would be very angry and upset, it is a natural reaction to my daughter growing up too early. I would listen to her wishes and support her the very best I could, but I would be disappointed all the same.
Please don't try to hide the situation because you need a lot of support.
Have faith in yourselves and the fact that your parents do love you and only want the best. Ride out the storm that will surely come and know that it will not last forever. Every day that passes by is another day closer to being an adult and you will get through this.
I wish you all the very best and very good luck.
In answer to your recent question - the answer is yes I would.
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