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i love you.
my boyfriend has been saying i love you for a couple of months now. i do say it online but not in person or over the phone yet. he understands i'm waiting for the right moment. [btw, i'm speaking from a 9 month relationship]
it's just i don't know what's wrong with me. i can feel it, but the words don't come out. i love you is like saying sorry. by the age 7 or 8, i never spoke of those words [to parents or friends]... maybe because i was embarrassed or i dont know. i want to say it but i'm afraid i'll freeze up. i'm naturally quiet, close to a mute anyway. so maybe it's the anxiety or the experience/reaction of his that's scaring me. i felt forced to say it [over the phone] in another relationship.. but this one.. i told them how i felt about it and i can wait comfortably. i think i'm strange.. it took me so long.. by the age 14.. i could finally apologize to friends.. and maybe around 16, i would go and say i love blahblah [a close friend]. but in a relationship.. it's.. a lot different. what's wrong with me? there has been times i've wanted to say it but.. it just won't come out. i freeze up and get shy.
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Its time that you forced yourself.
Honestly.
I had a girl that I was in love with. 8 month relationship. She said it once, about two weeks before we broke up.
The day she said it to me, I was as happy as a person can be. Giddy. That lasted about three hours.
Then I started to think. It took me 8 months to pull this girl far enough out of her shell to get her to say the words "I love you" over the phone. I realized that I couldnt continue the relationship after that, because I knew how much farther I had to pull her out of the shell. Over the next two weeks, she did not say it again, even with prompting.
I couldnt do that. I couldnt be with someone who had such huge mental blocks.
Im not trying to scare you. But it hurts, being with someone who cant give you that. Because you are constantly questioning yourself. "Is she not saying it because she doesnt feel it, or what?" kind of thing.
You need to steel yourself, and you need to tell him to his face, and let him read it in your eyes.
Everyone has their issues to overcome, especially in relationships. This is one of yours. Its time to face up to it, and to beat it. Tell the boy, I know hes waiting.
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This is soo sweet. I think it's a bit hard for every one the first time. You don't know how they're going to look at you or what they will say.
It could just be your natural way of not being ready to say it. Maybe you feel forced and need a more comfortable situation to let it go.
Plus you may feel like you're giving something away and dont know if the receiver is welcoming.
If you feel you want to say it and you can feel it deep down and not that you want to say it because he did, then i suggest you say it in the midst of a joke or a conversation so then there wont be an awkward silence and you wont feel like your waiting for acceptance and yet, you still got it out.
Hope this helps!
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You cannot force yourself to say I love you to someone... It will come out when its the right time. Plus if your boyfriend really did love you, he would not break up with you because you cant say it. Just give it some time, and eventually when your hearts ready to open up, you will say it, and at that time it will mean alot.
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I grew up the exact same way. In fact, my parents and I didn't start saying "I love you" until I moved away for college. It is normal, especially if you grew up in a household where it wasn't tossed around all the time. I had friends who said it to their parents everytime they left their house. It's not that they are any closer with their parents than I am, because I am actually pretty close with my own parents, it's just not something that needs to be said all the time. It can lose it's meaning if you toss it around too much. It almost means more when it is hard for a person to say and they finally say it. The guy seems really understanding and like a decent catch, so just continue on with what you're doing. He knows you love him, you just have a hard time expressing it. You will become more comfortable with time and it won't even be an issue anymore.
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