about

You see that man in that picture? That is me. I'm metal as all holy heck and I will give you answers so metal, you'll grow a beard. Even if you're a teenage girl.

So throw a question my way? "I like this guy and this guy, what do I do?" PICK THE ONE WHO LIKES METAL! "I've been feeling depressed lately, what should I do?" LISTEN TO SOME METAL! "I need help with my pre-calc homework." THE ANSWER IS METAL!

I can handle it all, I will not shy away from any question. May the metal be with you!

advice

Has anyone every used the ab swing? Does it work? How does it work? Please help me asap.

No, you're better off being fat and lazy.

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This guy at school called me a b**** and I was with my friend who happens to be a guy and he fought him but the principle came and they both got suspended. When they were allowed back in school today I told my friend he didn't have to do that, but he said he did it for me and could'nt stand what that guy did to me, then after school he asked me out and told me that he's always like me, I didn't answer him I just said I had to go and kind of ran off. He's a really good friend and I don't want to rruin our friendship, but I think I may like him. I mean we go places and hang out and stuff but I have never considered us more than friends.
PLEASE HELP ! I rate 5's

What the hell??? That guy stood up for you, and you run away from him?!? I hope he ends up dating the hottest cheerleader in your school just to spite you. I know I would.

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is it true that if you were born in the 1990's that you cant egt your licences until you are 18? i live in california and i was wondering if it is true. thanks so much. i will rate.

I hope it it, people born in the 90's don't need to be driving yet.

*edit*

The drinking age has changed, the gambling age has changed, and now this. There is some reason it happened.

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If your vagina isn't used to a lot of things wouldn't it be common sense if it got irrated, like from toooooooooo much perfume, soap and things like that?

Vaginas aren't people, you shouldn't bathe them and cover them up with perfume.

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what are extentions? and where could i get some? are they expensive?

They are things you gain to extend how long you live.

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i babysit one 5 year old girl and one 7 year old boy every tuesday, and i dont know what to do with them. they only can watch tv or play video games for a total of 1 hour and 30 minits. the girl always wants to play barbies or computer games with me and i can tell the boy gets kind of bored. could someone help me come up with some crafts or games i can play with both of them? thanx i rate high

The boy get bored playing computer games? What a loser. Tell him to gain some testosterone and start playing computer. If he doesn't enjoy playing computer now, he'll only grow up to enjoy killing people and eating dogs.

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I'm loving your column, thanks for the laugh ;)

Since I've gotta ask a question:

Cherry coke or Diet Pepsi with Lime

The only asnwer is Cherry Coke. Anything with the word diet in it has no calories, and there has to be some sort of witchcraft involved. Then, if you've ever eaten a lime in Mexico, you probably got sick and swore you'd never eat limes again. So, Diet Pepsi with Lime is a witch's brew that makes your bowels jittery.

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how can i convert an itunes file (i recorded a song i wrote onto GarageBand on my Mac, and then put it on iTunes) to mp3 so i can upload it to Purevolume?
please help! I'll rate 5's! (please!)
thanks!
sockrocker

Only an act of God can do such a feat.

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Hi

I have a question about guys who wink.
When a guy winks at you, does it mean he likes you as more than a friend.?

The reason I ask is because I got winked at by a guy and then I later found out he is married.

I've also been winked at in different ways. Some guys wink really fast and smile in front of others, and other guys wink at me really slow when no one else is looking.

I've been winked at since I was about 13 and now I"m 27. I'm really curious what it means.

sincerely
buzzie

When I'm at work old hairy men wink at me. I don't think it means they like you, it's just some weird thing they do. That or they're posessed by aliens, and the winking means you're their next target. Who knows, but that would be pretty cool.

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My Tenth year highschool reunion is coming up next year and I'm really nervous about it.

This is because me and a guy that I had a mad crush on left on really bad terms.

He was the most popular guy in school, class valedictorian and jock. I was one of the nerds. He new I had a crush on him and he treated me like dirt. He would make out with his girlfriend when I would walk by him in the hallways to upset me. He would play little games to humiliate me, like coming up to his friend whose locker was next to mine just to see me go red in the face.
He even went right up to my friend at the senior prom to hit on her while she was standing next to me and then he ignored me.

The last time I saw him was at the bar 8 years ago. I went up with my friend to talk to him and he completely ignored me even though I said it was my birthday.

Do you think I should go and confront him or just ignore him? This was a long time ago and I think that by now he would have matured a bit. I want to be the better person even though he made me senior year a living hell.

Buzzie

I think you should become friends with vampires, and if that jackass is mean to you, have the vampire drain the man of his life and go on with yours.

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sry about the length but i need help!

ok well my mom and dad are divorced and my dad lives in west virginia and i go see him every other weekend..and i HATE going down there with a passion!

my dad is a very mean person, he cam be obusive at times but not towards me.. towards his ex-wife whcih are now just boyfriend girlfriend. well last weekend i did not want to go and alot happend he said something horrible.

my gram died a little over a year ago and him and my mom were fighting and he said "why dont you go die like ur mother did" and i flipped i dont thinik i've ever cried so much in my life.

well my mom says that i have to go one more time until she can get an attorney and go to court so i dont have to go down.

but i dont want to go down now esspecially now that, that happend. b/c i know he's gonna flip.
so what should i do?

Be like Harry Potter and obtain an invisibility cloak. With that, your dad will never be able to find you and all will be good.

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my friends and i were wanting to know if there is any information that is floating around on the whistle stop cafe in glen eden auckland. we know that its been moved 200 metres from its original site and that Alec Mc Farlane was a porter at the busy train station and we know that before the cafe was called the whistle stop cafe it was used for storing dead bodies before they were burried. we also know "alec" was killed by a hook on a train that passed him by but that is all we know! can you please help us with any further information....

thank you lots

loopy louise

On the seventh day God created man, and on the eighth he created www.google.com.

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im 15 and i am girl need advice on how do you break up with a guy you have been dating for a year and four months because you dont like him or love him anymore and i dont have an explaination why??...HELP!!..he thinks it because of the hurricane and me loosing everything i had but its not ..my feelings were this way before that..and we are taking a break right now but he doesnt get the terms "TAKING A BREAK MEANS"...and i have basically created a monster..because i never get to hangout with my friends anymore or doing anything but be with him and its getting old and soo is the relationship because he takes it way to seriously considering we are only 15 and 16..he thinks that im "THE ONE" ..and wants to spend forever with me??..and there will never be another girl for him???..soo i need advice on how i should break it to him in a way that it wont hurt him that bad and we can still be friends!!

Well, I have to give you kudos for realizing that a relationship between a 15 and 16 year old wont last forever. However, I have to say you're pitiful for thinking about his feelings. Forget about his feelings, if you guys break up it'll just be him hanging out with you in hopes you get back together. First it'll start with small comments. Then it will turn into constant phone calls and instant messages. Finally he'll end up outside your window at 4 AM naked and singing love songs to you. My advice, dump him and have him "taken care of".

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Husband doesn't care about other relationships. Said not to "cross the line". But unable to be there until retirement... in 20 or more years. Promised kids not getting divorce. Hubbie says it's not an option anyway. Fell in love and have relationship with another man. What to do. How do I deal day to day?

Please ask questions, not random thoughts spread across an electronic screen.

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At what age should you start giving yourself breast exams? Is there a certain age where you are able to get breast cancer? And is it normal for fluid to come out of a microscopic hole in your areole?

You should start giving yourself breast exams from the moment you start growing breasts, but only in the company of males. I'm pretty sure breast cancer can strike at anytime, but it's known to only strike those who oppose God. As for the fluid, I'm sure it's normal, breasts are odd objects.

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i know this is not the best question to ask, but i was wondering if there is a racist word for turkish people. its not to diss a turkish friend of mine, its just that im turkish, and i was just wondering..
a lot of races have a racist name for them, and i was wondering if turkish people do too. all 5's.

I usually refer to them as Gobblers.

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i know you can't speed up time or anything but is there like a way to make the feek go by fast...well seems fast? I know it's kidna stupid but i'm just wonder?

I've heard it's damn near impossible to make the feek go by fast, only level 80 mages have the abilities to do that.

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So I'll be dating my current boyfriend for three months a week from today. He's the first boyfriend I've had that I can honestly say I really loved. The problem? Things are just getting annoying and boring. When we first started dating, he would do all these cute things with me, like whenever I joke around and try to fall he'll run and catch me... just little things like that. But I'm starting to wonder if he takes everything too seriously. If we're arguing about something little, I'll joke around and say "Take it back or I'll fall over!" And he'll get this seriously sad look on his face and whimper "No..." He can never take a joke it seems and I'm starting to get annoyed with it. I guess I just want him to act more mature. After all he is 19 and he could be acting more mature than he has been lately. I don't really want to consider breaking up with him right now, so is there any other suggestions you have on fixing this first?

Signed, Annoyed But In Love

Being 19 doesn't mean he's magically mature now. Maybe he doesn't like you being all cutesy all the time.

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