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Married and cheating
Husband doesn't care about other relationships. Said not to "cross the line". But unable to be there until retirement... in 20 or more years. Promised kids not getting divorce. Hubbie says it's not an option anyway. Fell in love and have relationship with another man. What to do. How do I deal day to day?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Is the other man OK with you staying with your husband? If he is, it sounds like a convenience thing for him. He may enjoy the benefits without the commitment.
My advice would be not to make your decision based on the other man. Other man or not- you have to decide if you wanna live this way. Do you still love your husband?
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Why are you letting your husband call the shots? Why is it his decision that divorce is not an option? Why do you let him speak for you?
It's time to stand up for yourself and stop letting this man decide every little thing in your life, even the way you conduct your extra marital affair! Its mind boggling to me you would accept this arrangement. If you want a divorce and a chance with this other man, it is time to seize the opportunity.
As far as your day-to-day life you must know it will fall apart if it’s not already. The strain of this situation will take its toll on you, your children and your relationship and will bread even more arguments and anger then a divorce ever could.
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If you feel there is a future...a happy one with the guy you love then you leave and go with him.
If your husband is that uncaring then why would you stay with him? I don't know the whole story of course, I do know that it is an option, whether husband likes it or not.
If he isn't going to give you the love and attention you need, he shouldn't expect you to stay with him. Good luck. :)
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You have to think what is best for your happiness and for the childrens well being as well. If you feel that he is not setting a prime example for you and your children then you have every right not to want to be with him. If your children are young, they'll have to take time to get used to it and accept it. As they get older, trust me, they will understand. But if they're older, they'll get over it. They'll live and later on they will understand. Only time is what they need. But if you can suffice the situation, then I guess you should continue doing what you are doing except I don't think that you're happy doing what you're doing. Doesn't sounds like to me that this is what you signed up for. So what you have to ask yourself is," am I ready to gather the courage to have the kind of happy life that I want for myself?"
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You have to pick your husband or the other man. You can't go on this way. Your husband can't force you to stay married to him, if you really want a divorce then get a good lawyer and make it happen. Your husband might be cheating on you as well, since he seems controlling. The fact that he said not to cross the line shows that he's never trusted you. So, yeah...get a lawyer.
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Please ask questions, not random thoughts spread across an electronic screen.
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If you have fallen in klove with some body else you need to walk awy from him especially if the husband "does'nt care". you need to take charge of your own life and make him realise that there is no point in being in a loveless relationship. thats when people get mad say things they dont wanna say and then people get hut more....... Good luck to figuring out this question but only you can fix this problem
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