I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 172961
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how can i get the guts up to ask my mom for tampons? (link)
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The thing to understand is that your mother was once trying to work up the guts to ask HER mom for menstrual supplies. I think the best thing is to just wait for the right moment, and go for it.
I'd have some reasons prepared so you can explain why you want to use tampons - that makes you sound more responsible and serious about wanting to use them.
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whats it mean when ur crap is green (link)
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Green poop can be a sign of illness - if you are coming down with the flu, a virus, etc, then it's quite normal to have green poop.
If you feel alright, then make sure you are drinking plenty of water and eating healthfully. Chances are the greenness will go away in a day or two.
If it doesn't, and you're nervous about it, give your doctor a call.
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i jest found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me with my bff should i not be her friend or dump him or do both. (link)
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Well, can you ever trust them again?
If I were you, I'd do the hardest thing of all - get rid of both of them. Your boyfriend obviously has no respect for your relationship, while you best friend obviously has no respect for your friendship.
Don't you think you deserve people who actually care about you? I think you do, and I don't even know you.
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uhh yeah.. i have another question...how can u tell if your best friend really wants to hang out with you or talk to you? Lately, my friend has been kinda acting like i don't matter to her at all. She doesn't really talk to me, and she always puts stuff in her away message like.."jenn, nathin, and alli in a chat room, what could be better?" and it gets me mad...it seems like she doesn't wanna talk to me anymore or sumthin....i... i need help.. im confused (link)
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I think you should try to talk to her. Pick a quiet place where you guys can be alone, and don't place any blame. Just ask questions.
'Do you still care about me? Are we still friends? Have I done anything to upset you?'
Let her know how important her friendship is to you. She might be growing away from you, and it would be better if you knew it so that you could move on. Or she might not be doing any of this on purpose - she won't know she's hurting your feelings unless you tell her.
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im 13, and my dad is turning 60 soon. i know thats not too weird if you have older parents, but my mom is only 40. and my dad is overweight but he's losing a lot. he used to be 300 lbs now he's 260. i know that thats good for him. and his dad lived to be 85, and his mom is 80 and shes still living. but im so scared of losing him before i grow up because i know all my friend's dads will be walking them down the isle when they get married but im soo scared that he wont be there for mine. how do i stop worrying? and im scared i'll break down while im talking to him about it so how can i? thanks (link)
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If you want to talk to your dad and are afraid of breaking down, why not write him a letter? You can say everything you feel without worrying about getting too emotional to finish talking.
The other thing is that to consider that anyone could die at any given age - just walking across the street is a risk. Your dad is minimizing his risks by losing weight; maybe he is realizing that he wants to be healthy and stick around as long as possible.
There's nothing any of us can do to make our parents live longer, and your best bet is to soak up as much of your dad's love as you can now. Tell him how much you love him - and don't forget to do the same with your mom - and be sure to live your lives together so you can have great memories to keep you warm when YOU are 80.
Worrying about this stuff can make you crazy - I know, I do it too - but it's ultimately pointless. You have to make a choice; do you want to worry about your dad dying all the time, or do you want to spend your time with him enjoying his life?
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Well I have this really birth mark/mole on my at the top of my left arm, but none of my friends know about. I always cover it up with a bangage or something that sort but the only reason I do is because people used at school used to stare at it and make fun of me about it. So my question is should I keep hiding it or should I just let it be and not care about it? (link)
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Let it be. Would you put up with friends who made fun of your hair colour or your race? Well, you're born with those things, just as you are born with birthmarks, and it's pointless for people to make fun of it.
If people see you are really uncomfortable about it, then they could see that as a way to pick on you. But if you don't care - and you shouldn't care, you were born with it - then people will realize it's no big deal.
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Ok...Well My sister is 15 years old and has been doing alot of partying lately and messing around with guys much older than she is!Its been bothering me because im 17 going to be 18 shortly and i am going to be 8 months pregnant which dont get me wrong im happy about the baby and im not going to regret her but i just dont want to see my sister end up in the same situation at an early age if she keeps it up.She seems to think that what she is doing is fine but im worried about her ending up in a bad situation or getting a bad reputation.Any ideas on what i should do and do you think that what she is doing is wrong? (link)
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Why don't you sit down with her and be completely honest about what you are going through? You might be genuinely happy about the prospect of motherhood, but you probably wish it was going to be happening later in your life.
Let her know that pregnancy is not all it is cracked up to be - you might be getting a lot of attention from family and friends, but you also have to deal with morning sickness, a baby kicking your bladder, and raising a baby outside of marriage. It's a lot to deal with, and your sister might only be seeing the glamourous side of it.
Be honet and open - chances are she looks up to you. She might tell you to mind your own business or be snotty, but I bet you she'll think long and hard about what you've said. If you are approachable and genuine with her now, maybe she'll come to you with her problems and questions in the future.
I'd be careful to not tell her she is 'wrong' - after all, her big sister isn't much older than her and she's pregnant. Who do you respect more - people who tell you you've made a dumb mistake, or supportive people who offer to help you out?
Good luck. I can tell you really love your sister, and maybe she just needs to hear you say it, too. She'll listen.
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My brother and father are moving down to North Carolina. They are leaving my mother and me here in New Hampshire. I'm going to college in NH and I'm living there. My boyfriend is going there too. My father and brother are going to build a house for my family to live in. They are expecting it to be before Christmas. I don't want to move at all cuz I don't want to leave the college I'll be going to, my friends, or my boyfriend. I'm 18 years old too. I don't have the money to have my own apartment or anything along those lines and I can see myself marrying my boyfriend. I don't think if my family moved to NC that I would be able to be away from them for that long. Please help what should I do? (link)
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You say that you are living at college? I don't understand why you don't just keeping living there in the dorms, or whatever your living situation is.
Many people live away from their families during the college years; college has long winter and summer breaks, so you'll be able to get your fill of your family then. If you decide to move, you'll need to start applying to new colleges already, arranging for a place to live, etc. It seems easier to stay at the college you'll already be at - at least for the first year.
If you live through the second term, then stay. You'll be near your boyfriend, be used to your campus, and have made a strong social network of friends. If you honestly can't bear to be away from your family, make plans to move to NC your sophomore year.
You won't be living with your parents forever - it's hard to make the break, but eventually you'll realize your life is about doing whatever makes you happiest. Good luck.
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Hey Everyone ! Ok ths is a good one, How come when your single you have the hardest time finding anyone to go out with. But as soon as you have a BF and become Attached Everyone in the world wants to date you. How many times has this happen to you guys? LOL its agravating. But I love my man so no huge complaints here. Have a great day everyone ! xoxoxoxooxoxoxox (link)
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When you are seeing someone, you do not have the air that many people have when they're single - that of being desperate to find somebody. If you are not self confident and always looking for your next boyfriend, you're less likely to attract a quality guy because you are not showing your best sides.
Some people feel free to be completely themselves when they are attached - the don't have to try to impress possible boyfriends.
This is also why that old saying about 'When you stop looking, you find love' is true. People want to be around people who are confident, comfortable being single, and are fun to be around.
This is why I think how you feel right now - happy, not trying to impress people, secure in yourself - is worth trying to cultivate whether you are single or not. People like people who like themselves.
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Ok i have a lil problem.Well I am 17 years old going to be 18 very shortly and i am almost 8 months pregnant which i am happy about.The problem is my mom.Shes happy and excitied about this baby but i feel like shes trying to tell me how to live my life and raise this baby and it is really starting to get to me and i told her this and she says that shes not trying to do that but i can see that she pretty much is doing that just dont realize it.And another thing is she keeps on argueing with me about my b/f(the father of my baby) which i have been with for almost 2 years now.Shes always on my back about him not having a job yet and trying to tell me what i should do when i dont want to do those things, which he is looking for one and going through this one thing to get a good job.And shes just always bitching at me and on my back for everything all the time and i dont need the stress right now and im getting sick of hearing about it and argueing with her.And we have talked about it before and she says shes just scared.But she needs to learn to stay somewhat out of my business which i always tell her because its my life and i am going to be 18 with a baby and i need to become responsible.And all of this is just making me really stressed out and dont know what to do at this point anymore.What do you think i should do??!! :*-( (link)
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Whether you were pregnant or not, your mother would still be telling you what to do. Believe it or not, it's all based in the fact that she loves you and wants the best for you - it has to be nervewracking to have a pregnant teenage daughter; now she feels like it's her to to worry not only about you, but about your child as well.
The way to deal with this is like you'd deal with it even if you were not pregnant - show her how responsible you are. You saying that you want to be responsible is not the same as making your own doctor appointments, comparing prices for baby items you'll need, or seriously discussing making arrangements with your boyfriend to help support the child.
If she sees that you are capable of caring for yourself and your baby, she'll back off - but even so, she'll be your mom for a good many years yet, and I know firsthand that moms won't stop nagging you just because you think you're grown up. Just think, now you can do the same to your baby.
I hope the rest of your pregnany goes well!
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okay well im not bi but like i've thought bout it n like.. i look at my friends as if i like them n u know wanna make out with them.. does that make me bi? I rate high please help?
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You can't help who you like. Whoever that may be, it doesn't make you unhealthy. It can be scary when you first start to doubt your sexuality, but it's actually a really positive step.
Whether you identify as bi, lesbian, or straight in the future, you'll know yourself better because you went through this period of self-exploration.
If you are thinking sexual thoughts about your friends, or wanting to date them, then yes. At this point, you are attracted to girls.
Sexuality is fluid, though. You'll grow and develop; you might realize that you're a lesbian. Or not. Either way, you're okay.
A lot of people worry about labels. I worry about labels. It's normal. What you have to always consider, though, is that you want to be on a path where you are the most YOU you can be. This is the only way you'll be truly happy.
Feel free to email me if you want to talk more about this - I went through the same emotions in high school.
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This question has to do with my boyfriend again. We've only been dating for 4 days, but have known each other for about a month. We talk even before we were dating every night for like 3 hours on the phone. So far, he treats me so great and I dont have any reason not to trust him. Let me add now that he is friends with my father and alot of my Dads friends. Well, he sometimes talks about marriage, which scares me a bit, but I honestly could see myself marrying him. Anyway, to get to the point, I was told tonight by 2 different people, my ex boyfriend and my best friends sister that I hate & she hates me, that my boyfriend has probably already cheated on me & that I need to keep an eye on him beacause he likes to cheat. Im really scared because, what if they are right. But considering the people that told me I dont know if I should believe them. I really like this guy am Im scared that if I say anything about what I heard that he will be pissed at me. What should I do? Should I say something to him & if so, what? Please let me know ASAP, I need to figure this out before he calls me later on tonight!!! (link)
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Okay. First of all, if you really like someone, then of course you'll think you could marry them someday. Try to have some objectivity, though.
You don't even know him well enough to know if you can trust him or not.
You have been hurt in the past, and that could be making you paranoid. The person telling you he's cheating could be lying - after all, people who you've dated or who hate you have a reason to do so. Why would you listen to an ex who broke your heart, anyway?
You can't trust someone automatically after only four days of dating. It's up to you to decide whether you want to spend more time getting to know this guy - if you are genuinely concerned he could be cheating on you, then the only thing to do would be to confront him.
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whenever i use a tampon or take it out theres this extra skin.. its not like u can pull it off its thick.. n i dont kno what it is and im worried.. i dont wanna go see a doctor tho! Help me i rate high! (link)
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You've asked this question a zillion times. To me, this shows that you are extremely concerned.
When someone is extremely concerned or confused about their body, the only person who cna put their mind to rest is a doctor. No matter how much advice you get, you are still asking - so go see a doctor!
Doctors deal with bodies every day. Vaginas, breasts, poop, bad breath, weird skin infections. You have nothing they have not seen before. You will probably feel embarassment about seeing a doctor, but isn't that better than worrying all the time?
I honestly think you have nothing to worry about. Your vagina has outer lips, which you can see just be looking in a mirror, but if you pull them apart you'll probably see your inner lips, too. These could be the 'extra skin.' Your inner lips could be large, small, tucked up, slightly hanging lower than your outer lips - that's how vaginas are. Like snowflakes, no two are alike.
Don't tug at this skin. If you are not itching, having thick smelly discharge, or experiencing other discomfort in your genital area, chances are that you are fine.
Why have you noticed it? From the normal experience of pulling your tampon out, or because you have been looking at yourself closely in a mirror?
Look at your vagina some more. Get to know it. It is yours, it is unique, and it is full of skin flaps and holes and squishy bits. It's normal.
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My BESTfriend.. Let's call her *Liza. She is anorexic, i didn't know this before.. i just thought she was super skinny. But she left her diary over my house, and i just read some of it. She's been anorexic for almost two years, it's crazy. She doesn't know that i know yet.. so i'm scared to try and help her! Do you have any ideas on how i can tell her that i know and try to get her to stop. Cause i'm soo scared that something bad is gonna happen to her, Please, pretty please.. someone help me. Thank you so much, sorry it's so long.
Signed,
Very Scared! (link)
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You are right to be scared. Anorexia is a serious disease; even with treatment, most people who suffer from it will relapse. Eventually, she'll be hospitalized and she could possibly die.
I'm not saying this to make you panic, but to let you know that you need to turn your fear for her into action. Confronting her is NOT the best option. Talk to your parents - perhaps they'd be willing to help you talk to her parents. You want to talk to people who can help her help herself; if she really has actual anorexia, she's beyond helping herself.
Maybe it's fate or just plain luck you found out about this situation, but it's up to you to decide if you want to help you friend kill herself. Because that's what anorexia is - slow suicide.
I won't tell you all the symptoms and what could happen to her - every minute you're here reading this is a minute you could have already talked to an adult you trust.
She might get upset with you, but you'll have saved her life. Be strong.
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Hi well ok see me and my friend were the bestest of friends then all of a sudden I start liking this boy , and he likes me but my friend said that she wouldn't get mad at me, well I called her and told her the news about us going out and she threw the phone across the room......
What do I do?>?? Plz Help me.......And Fast (link)
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Well, this is more for your friend to deal with than you. Maybe she liked the guy, maybe she's afraid if you have a boyfriend you'll have less time for her. She said she would be okay with the situation, so you have done nothing wrong.
I would have a conversation with her - explain you'd never want to hurt her, which is why you talked to her about dating the guy before you started. Let her know your friendship is very important to you and she'll always be a priority.
Put the ball in her court, and hope she tosses it back.
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In the 3rd grade i used to always hand out wit this boy and i liked him to death. he liked me 2 this might sound childish but plz listen, he moved nad i did see him again until a few weeks ago.And i walked past him and he said hi gloria (my mom) and to me he said..."uhhhhhhh what is ur name"!! I was sooooooo mad! what the heck is goin in? (link)
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How long has he lived somewhere else? Maybe he just has a bad memory.
Maybe he didn't like you as much as you liked him - girls tend to be more emotional about people they like, and also more into liking people at a younger age.
Or he could be acting in a particularly mature way and pretending to not remember you.
Don't worry. There are plenty of guys who will want to learn and remember your name.
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I'm a 15 year old girl and I've never gotten anywhere past mildly aroused. I've tried mastrabating and it's never worked for me. I doubt I'll be finding a guy any time soon, and I really want to find a way to get myself off. Does anyone have any tricks or tips? I've never had a orgasim and all my friends have. (link)
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A lot of people treat masturbation like some sort of bizarre penetration parade - find your clitoris and learn to love it. Only masturbate when you feel like you're in the mood; doing it because there's nothing better to do won't help you acheive an orgasm.
In fact, if you have anxiety about this whole subject, it'll be harder. But don't worry - it will happen. You've got to figure out what does it for you - certain movies, songs, books? Making up scenarios in your head? Certain rates and rhythms of touching yourself?
The only way to figure out the way to make yourself good is to be prepared to experiment and spend a lot of time with yourself. If you aren't feeling particularly aroused at this stage in your life - again, that'll come.
(No pun intended.)
Good luck.
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Does it mean im afraid of commitment when i dont want to go out with someone because im afriad some one/something better will come up? also, how can i finally start to like guys again after being hurt so many times, like what can i do to trust guys again..? (link)
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No. It does not make you afraid of committment - it makes you aware that you know you don't really care about who you are with. When you find a solid person you want to be with, you won't be thinking about the chance of someone better coming along; you'll know that THEY are the 'someone better' you've been looking for all along.
Don't settle. You deserve to be with someone who capitivates you.
If you've been hurt in the past, you'll need to find a way to deal with it. Every guy is different - just because your past relationships involved mistakes does not mean your future ones will.
If you find that someone better, trust me, you'll be able to realize that you've worked through yor pain. The human heart is wonderful that way.
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Ok i have a really important question. i really want to have sex but i am not sure when girls can get pregnate. i have already have my period but is it after u get it wheil u have it or what?? plz help me (link)
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When are you most fertile? Just before, during, and after ovulation. Every woman's cycle is slightly different, so I can't tell you when that is.
But when it is possible for a woman to get pregant? Anytime during her cycle - even when she has her period. The body is a crazy, messy place. Your body will not magically protect you from pregnancy if it is your first time, if the guy pulls out, or if you pee right afterwards.
Another thing to consider is diseases. The STD rate for heterosexual teenagers is booming - it's been growing the quickest for awhile now. STDs can last forever, render you infertile, or kill you.
USE PROTECTION every time, or in a few years you might be sadly well versed in teen motherhood or terminal diseases.
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i have seen my friends boyfriend with other girls kissing on them and i told my friend right away but she doesnt believe me, she said that i am jealous ... also she is supposed to have sex with him and i dont want her getting hurt .. is there anyway i could get her to believe me? (link)
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Sorry to say, but if your friend doesn't want to believe you, there's nothing you can do. She might even know you're telling the truth, down deep inside, but be afraid to believe it.
The best thing to do is be careful HOW you tell her - do it in a private place, in a calm voice. Small touches will let her know you support her.
If she stays with the guy, has sex with him, and gets her heart broken, your job will be to hold her hand and help her rebuild her heart and life. It's incredibly hard to watch people make stupid mistakes, but if you can help lessen her pain, you're doing okay.
If your friendship is getting ruined by your offering what you know - like the fact that her boyfriend is cheating on her - it might be best to lay off. Do make sure you let her know you'll go with her to buy condoms or see a doctor for birth control.
She might be making a stupid mistake, but hopefully you can help her make it a non-life ruining one.
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