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"People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone." - Audrey Hepburn

I came to this site for advice about a man and love. That very question turned my entire world around and I have had my eyes opened to things I never noticed before.

I've stayed here so that I can share the knowledge I do have. I know I'm not changing the world but I do hope that I spark others to open their eyes.

"The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself." - Oscar Wilde

So, if you learn something from what I say then repeat it to someone else who can use it.

I hope that if you see an answer of mine that you enjoy it will inspire you to go out of your way to give good, solid information. Provide links for further information, detail your responses, encourage people to seek out professionals when it's needed, and stop sugar-coating responses and just say the truth.

I hope that even if you absolutely hate my answer that it'll kick start your brain. Hopefully you'll begin taking your time to respond instead of hurried answers that are useless to an already confused person.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on." - Robert Frost
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Age: 24
Member Since: October 12, 2007
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okay don't say anything like, your under age or anything, I KNOW!!!! so anyway, i was going out with this guy, Andy, i'm 15, then we had been going out for like 3 months, and i was staying at his house for a dance, we live on different islands, but there right next to each other.and we were talking then he told me he loved me, anyway, we ended up having sex... but then later, like a couple months later i found out he had cheated on me twice! then he asked this guy, iain, to start flirting with me and stuff so i would stop liking him and start liking iain. anyway i broke up with Andy, and started going out with iain, but two weeks after we started going out, i slept with him! it just sort of happened! so, i slept with him on the friday ans he didn't talk to me the whole weekend, then on monday, he asked if we could meet up, but he broke up with me! now i feel like everyones looking at me and thinking... slut, my friend says no one cares who i sleep with and that its just in my head but i cant stop thinking it! do you have any advice on what to do to make me feel better? i'm soooooo depressed! ='[ _(link)

I think you know if it's slutty or not and you really need to reach inside of yourself to discover this.

Obviously, it feels very wrong to be doing this or you wouldn't have been concerned about being perceived as a slut. From here, you should take the time to decide if you want to do the right thing and discontinue these activities or if you want to disregard your gut feelings and pretend it is acceptable behavior.

It is a fact that when people feel slutty/dirty/whorish they reach out to people they feel will accept their actions and tell them that they are not doing anything wrong. The fact that you are questioning this tells a lot and I hope you do understand that. I also want to note that just because someone here claims it is not slutty behavior does not make it alright--YOU know what is really going on. To put it simply, your conscience is screaming at you.

You obviously have been jumping into some things you are not well-prepared for and your conscience knows it. I suggest you take time to look at yourself and where you are now headed in life. It is not healthy or intelligent to rush into sex without actually getting to know someone--and it isn't right to believe the words, "I love you," without KNOWING the person loves you. Love does not mean sex and sex does not equal love.

What I'm saying is, the next time some guys says he really likes you or loves you it doesn't mean that sex needs to follow. You can love someone so strongly and never have sex with them. Prostitutes have sex every single day with various men/women and never feel any emotion for them so that alone tells you that sex doesn't mean love.

When you interact sexually with a person without getting to know them at all then it does put a stigma on you. The person will perceive you as sexual and empty. They see that you will make them feel good physically but have nothing else to really offer them. Most, if not all, of these sort of relationships burn out quickly.

So, yes, it is slutty behavior. Yes, you should work on getting to know the guy better instead of jumping in the sack at the first opportunity. Yes, you should start listening to your conscience and following what you KNOW is right and not what the media and your peers try to feed you. Yes, if you are questioning your actions then they are, most likely, very wrong and you should discontinue them.

In addition, people do care if you're a slut. I care. I don't want you to become a statistic. I don't want to see you here feeling worse about yourself, falling deeper in the hole. I want to see you grow as a person and KNOW that you are better than these activities.

You'll feel better about yourself when you know you have changed. Work on yourself and don't fall into this dark hole of having sex whenever a guy seems interested. You are worth something right now, don't make yourself worthless to others. Resolve this with yourself, make sure it never happens again, and learn your lesson from these experiences. With all of those met, you will be able to overcome this and will only carry it as a burden to tell others about your experiences--to help enlighten them on what you had to learn through heartache.

I hope you do what is clearly appropriate for you and take steps to work on yourself. If you have other questions like this, please feel free to ask me! :)

If i am on my period when i have sex (without a condom) and get pregnant that day, would i continue to have my period afterwards????

_(link)

I truly apologize for sounding so rude, but the person that answering and claimed that it is unlikely (but not unheard of) to become pregnant while on your period is not well-informed.

Many, many, MANY women become pregnant while on their period. It is very risky to engage in sexual activities without protection during this time of the month even.

A woman ovulates, roughly, 14 or 15 days from the beginning of her last period; however, if your period is not a perfectly exact 28 day cycle then this can be thrown off. Ovulation lasts a few days. Your body's temperature slightly changes during this time and you secrete more cervical mucus to ensure there is enough for sperm to travel in properly. During this time sperm that entire your body are able to live slightly longer than usual. Sperm typically can live in a woman's body for 5 - 7days, though it is not unheard of to find a few still alive at the two week mark.

It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize your one egg. Sperm are well equipped to find their way to their goal and they will do anything to ensure fertilization.

There is a common misconception that if you have sex while you are on your period that the blood coming out of you will push all of the sperm out. The thing is, the sperm are made to do everything they possibly can to reach the goal--your egg. They are designed to be able to "swim against the current" so that they can make it upward into your uterus and tubes.

Now, if the egg has already been expelled it sounds as if there wouldn't be a problem; however, there is always another one on it's way and the sperm will fertilize it in while it's still in the fallopian tubes if they can make it. Sperm can live in your body for days (5 - 7 in normal conditions, longer if excellent conditions).

So, yes, there is a chance that pregnancy could occur. There is ALWAYS a chance pregnancy could occur. You should always be using some sort of "protection" to lessen (they don't prevent) pregnancy and STD/STI risks.

Also, ovulation is actually when you are at your peak fertility zone. Basically, you are equally fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes). So, this means you can get pregnant during ANY day of your regular cycle equally and you have more chance of becoming pregnant during ovulation.

Ovulation tends to last a couple of days. Usually sometime during this travel is when the egg becomes fertilized and it attaches to your uterine wall when it reaches your uterus. Sometimes the egg is fertilized in the uterus; sometimes the egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube way too early and a baby begins to grown in the tube (which can cause MAJOR issues and can be very dangerous).

It can be very difficult to tell if you're ovulating or not if you're not keeping a very close track on your daily discharge and internal temperature. Many things can also throw off your regular ovulation cycle such as: stress, hormonal birth control, antibiotics, weight changes, and major diet changes. Don't be fooled, it is very hard to keep track of these things properly so it is a VERY unreliable birth-control method (even if you buy the books on it and all).

To shortly answer your question, you would continue to have your period for the rest of that normal cycle, most likely. The next month you would probably miss your period entirely; although, some women do spot a little at the beginning of their pregnancy.

I hope I've helped you out in understanding how your body works. If you have any other questions regarding this matter feel free to ask me :)

hey i was searching columnists and i found yours and decided to ask you...sry this is a little long...i just really need help...

a little more than a week ago i was messing around with my boyfriend and doing a little dry humping and he took his penis out and kinda thrusted it in and out for a few seconds but not all the way in...just sorta a tease cause we were both virgins and just really horny and wanted to see how it would feel
i cant fully remember but im pretty sure i gave him a blow job a little before this all happened and he came in my mouth and i swallowed it and then he put his penis away and we just started making out and messing around again then that happened and im scared that i could be pregnant

he swears that he checked and there was nothing on his penis like precum or anything but im just really paranoid and scared

n then a couple days after that we had sex but i had given him a blow job a little before that and same thing...he came in my mouth and i swallowed and then we started making out and stuff again and got horny and decided to have sex and he put a condom on and all and we had sex for a bit but he didnt go in very far becuase it was my first time and it hurt a bit (though my cherry didnt pop and i dont know why...? he was in far but not ALL the way) then he pulled out and came in the condom

and about twice in the pool we were grinding each other but he was just in boxers (boxer breifs) and like nike basketball shorts and i was in a bathing suit and we were grinding against each other and he moved his penis upwards in his shorts so that it was poking at my vagina and was grinding and took his penis out and put it against my vagina and was grinding it on mine (i was in my bathing suit still) so im scared...really really scared

and its making me think things over even more like what if ive given him blowjobs and gotten cum on my hands then started rubbing my vagina or he got it on his fingers then a lil while later fingered me

im so paranoid and nervous now

im 16 and hes 17 and i last got my period on memorial day weekend...about may 24th im almost positive so if your periods supposed to come every 28 days i should be getting it this friday and now im getting all paranoid cause i feel like other times ive gotten my period i start getting slight cramp waves around now like the few days before i get my period and now im not

please help! _(link)

Ah, I completely understand your fear and I hope I can help you out in understanding some things you're a bit confused about.

While you may have had sexual relations directly before the actual penis being inserted into your vagina, you were not protected at all. When semen exit the penis they tend to leave a few little guys (meaning hundreds of sperm) hanging around inside the urethra (the tube they came from). They are pretty good survivors and can live in that tube for a good while.

Now, your fluids will naturally slide into the hole in his penis with insertion and thrusts. This makes a good connection for the sperm left in the urethra to swim on into your vagina.

When a guy becomes sexually aroused he may pre-cum, as you well know. What you're probably not quite sure about is if he can truly tell or not. In all honesty, your boyfriend doesn't actually know if any tiny, itty-bitty bit of semen exited his penis while he was in your vagina. Even if the pre-cum didn't actually leave his penis as he claims, it may have began to enter the urethra to exit--which brings us back to what I just explained about your fluids naturally being pressed into his body.

In short, yes, you should definately be worried because you were not protected at all.

As for your hymen, some women naturally have a more elastic hymen, allowing a penis to enter. It isn't common but it will lose elasticity with age and may naturally tear the more you have side (more friction against it). It doesn't mean you're defective or anything, your hymen was just able to stretch wider than most other women's.

You hymen is located at the entrance to your vagina. It is easy to tear your hymen if you use tampons or masturbate, which also may be why you did not experience the typical bleeding during intercourse. It is also possible that you naturally stretched your hymen out with tampons/fingers enough to allow a penis to enter without tearing right now.

Regarding the swimming pool incident, there sure risk involved; however, the penis did not enter the vagina, and you were not cummed on directly so the risks are quite lowered. Yes, there could be a pregnancy to result in such activities, but it's probably a lower risk than, say, inserting a penis into your vagina for a full minute. If your boyfriend actually had semen near your vagina then there is risk so please be aware of that.

Now, the norm for a women to go without a period is roughly 28 days; however, some women are different and have shorter or longer times between periods. If you have kept track of your periods you're probably well-aware of when to expect yours. This being said, if you're suppose to get yours this friday and it doesn't come, give it a few days and then head out to the store to purchase a pregnancy test. You can find pregnancy tests in any grocery store nowadays and any pharmacy.

If you're truly very concerned about pregnancy then you may want to make a phone call to your local clinic to get tested there. Home pregnancy tests can show false negatives (meaning it will say you're not pregnant when you are; and NO there is no such thing as a false positive--when it shows positive, you are definately pregnant) so some women only have pregnancy tests done in clinics so they know FOR SURE that the results are correct.

Engaging in sex means always taking the risk of becoming pregnant since NO contraceptive is 100% effective and there is no such thing as perfect use because nobody is perfect. Obviously, you're completely aware of this fact since you are concerned over a possible pregnancy. It also puts you in a very vulnerable state for years to come.

It takes only one sperm to fertilize your one egg. They are designed to do everything possible to ensure reproduction. Your body also does just about everything it can do to make sure the sperm can successfully fulfill their duty. Because of this, you are fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes).

Here are some serious facts you want to consider on pregnancy:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you completely infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.

A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. This means that many mothers pass on things to their unborn babies. I'm sure none of us would like to find out 20 years from now that we had contracted HIV/AIDs and that our baby has it too now because we passed it along.

Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently that you've be really surprised at:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

..and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos). It's important that you check these photos out so that you know what STDs can do to a person's body, just in case you experience problems in this area:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html
The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before regarding sexual relations:

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

...and here is a link about virginity too. It gives good examples of what they're talking about so you're able to understand them clearly:

http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm

I understand you'll be scared for the next few days while you wait for your period to come but I hope you take the time to learn about some things you may have overlooked before. I'm only concerned for your well-being and I want things to turn out to be great in your lifetime.

If you have any more questions, or I have missed something or have been unclear, please go right on and ask me. I really do not mind helping you out in any way I can.

Im 19 years old and still a virgin and kinda want to stay like that but then again dont want to cause i want to enjoy my life What you think i sholud do ?` _(link)

You know, I use to think sex must be fun because lots of people bragged about it and then when I lost my virginity I realized that it really wasn't what it was cracked up to be.

Everyone pressures you to have sex so you will fit in. What is hard to understand is this:

The people who are telling you to have sex only want you to do it too because they are either hoping your sexual experiences are just like theirs so they won't feel alone and jipped, or so you give them something to talk about for awhile.

It's TRUE! I have had girls my age confess this very thing to me: "I pressured her into having sex with him because I had lost my virginity and, well, I knew it really wasn't great and I wanted her to feel bad with me."

In reality, sex was never that great for me with the boy I lost my virginity to. I regret it every day. It left me feeling inadequate--like something must be terribly wrong with me. Because of this I still feel like my vagina is wrong and weird. Just as a note, I lost my virginity about 7 years ago--YES, I STILL feel like my body is messed up because sex wasn't good and fun like everyone said it was.

If I could, I would take it all back and would keep my virginity. I wish I wouldn't have made that mistake years ago. What's crazy is that I believed the whole "wait until you're in a long-term relationship with someone you love and loves you" bullcrap. Yeah, I waited and was with the guy for a year and a half or so and was STILL left, STILL heartbroken, and STILL empty. Sex did not add fun like so many people claim.

Instead of making meaningless sex-memories, I wish I would have made true fun memories with my past. There are so many things I wish I would have done with my youth then (which, hey, I'm still youthful but you know what I mean probably). I wish I would have actually connected with my partner, heck, I wish I would have had enough sense to find a good partner that wouldn't deceive me. I wish I spent time learning about someone instead of trying to make something meaningless into something exciting.

Yes, I know it's your body and your decision. I am only making you aware of a few things that you may have slightly overlooked. I am simply concerned for your well-being.

Sex is a major thing though and you should be picky about what you do and who you do it with. You should not be in a hurry to lose your virginity. It's a very scary activity (you're naked and vulnerable in MANY ways during sex) and we're all pressured to do it in some way.

If you have sex and something goes wrong then you will be scarred for the rest of your life. If things get out of hand, pregnancy occurs, you're hurt in some way, or you contract a STD from the activity you cannot take it back. You will have to carry that onto each and every partner you have after then.

Married couples simply do not have the problems that other sexual partners do. Also, giving your virginity to your partner on wedding night shows a huge amount of love--to save yourself for that special day, for that special person. Married couples never fear they're being used or will be left. They're able to open up and tell each other what they desire without fear. They know that if a pregnancy happens that they will get through it together with each other's support. They also aren't fearful of catching an STD from their partner because they know they're their only partner. Both partners tend to be fully satisfied because they're able to communicate well with each other and they're able to feel emotionally secure.

You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.

A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. Even if your best friend is a virgin too it doesn't mean he may not have something--babies can be born with STDs.

Along with the risk of sexually transmitted disease/infections is the risk of pregnancy. Having a child is a huge responsibility and NO "protection" is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy (or STDs, as a matter of fact). Having a child (or children in the case of twins) means being completely selfless. You have to support the child financially and emotionally. You have to tend to another human life every minute of yours.

For some shocking STD facts, check this out:

http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is also a link of photos of various STDs. Most of the photos are of males but there are a few female photos in there. Some are very scary. Don't worry about many photos popping up when you click the link, they're behind other links so you can choose which ones you might want to check out:

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

It's even tougher if you don't have a life-long partner to help share that huge responsibility. What's even scarier about that is that men and women today are just up and leaving their children with their partners to handle the responsibility all alone. This means people need to be pickier on who they reproduce with and stop sleeping with any thing that crosses their path even if they claim to love them. Making children isn't hard, it's raising them that gets complicated.

One night of sex can result in creating another life or living with a disease the rest of yours. I know many people who lost their virginity and became pregnant (or had gotten the girl pregnant) the same night. They weren't emotionally ready to have children but they made one mistake and they now have a tough road ahead of them trying to make enough money and time for their child.

Here are some facts about how much a baby costs within the first year of life; you should really check it out just for future issues as the knowledge could come in very handy:

http://www.surebaby.com/costs.php

Even if you think that you can have an abortion if there happens to be a pregnancy, think about the consequences of that action even. Some women suffer major depression for many years after having an abortion. There are cases of women committing suicide years after having an abortion because they couldn't deal with what they had done. Some women become infertile and can no longer have any children. Some really good men refuse to be with a woman who has had an abortion. Throwing a life away because you wanted to have some fun should be an unacceptable option.

The media feeds us a bunch of stupidity now. We're told that if we use condoms or the pill that we won't get pregnant or have STDs. The media tells us that we should be having sex with as many people as possible to become popular, famous, attractive, and overall liked. The media says that if we love someone that we should have sex and prove this love with that is not at all what we should be doing. We're told that we should give into our urges and that everything will be alright since we can throw away the consequences.

You should really sit down with the person you choose to engage in sex with and discuss this matter. Look up some photos online together of what STDs have done to people's bodies. Discuss financial responsibility and emotional support you would have to provide if there happens to be a life created from the activity. Think of the POSSIBILITIES and make sure that you're truly ready to handle everything that can come from having sex.

You should not be in a rush to have sex. You have plenty of years ahead of you. Anyone can have sex. Lots of people have sex with each other every day and don't have the slightest bit of care for their sexual partner.

Here is a link about some things you should think about before engaging in sex. Even if you're dead set on losing your virginity, it's still really interesting to look at. The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before:

http://www.tagnet.org/adventist.fm/youth/virgin.htm

...and here is a link about virginity too. It gives good examples of what they're talking about so you're able to understand them clearly:

http://www.prolife.com/LICKONA.htm

You sound like you're going through a rough time right now with your self-acceptance. Have fun being you. Be different and find real things to enjoy. Know that you are worth more than sex. Your virginity should be cherished. Your body is not a toy and you shouldn't lend it out for other people's enjoyment. Please reconsider putting yourself into this position.

Trust me, one night of sex can really screw you over, especially when it entails losing your virginity. You set yourself up for so many mental and physical hang-ups it's ridiculous. Please protect yourself from going through heart-ache and future sexual issues.

Sex is not what other people say, I promise you. You shouldn't rush into it because you want to have fun and "enjoy" your youth. Enjoy your youth in less-harming ways. Look back at your past and have MEMORIES of THINGS YOU DID with others and not faded-out, half-assed memories of meaningless sex.

Keep your virginity and be worth something extra-special to your husband/wife in the future.

I hope that I've helped you open your eyes to a couple of things and informed you of facts you may have overlooked.

I am going on a trip to Atlanta, GA and I want to bring a small bowl and a little bit of pot with me. If I put them inside a small zip lock baggy and insert them into my umm yea would I be okay? _(link)

Personally, I definately wouldn't risk this. Think about this:

You are going to a place where they are sure to scan your luggage. People are extremely insecure about airports after the 9-11 attacks and are more likely to take the time to check items and people thoroughly. If a drug-dog is randomly around it may sniff you out and that is not going to be a pretty sight. These people do body-cavity searches when a very suspicious person arrives or when they feel someone is lying/hiding things from them. Body-cavity searches means gloved fingers from an unknown person up the small, private areas of your body.

Also, if you are chosen from the "random" security check and you even act slightly nervous they may take it as a sign that you are trying to hide something from them.

Marijuana is illegal and if you are caught you can get into major trouble and you're not going to be able to talk your way out of it. You'll probably be held for a few hours while they sort through your luggage and cavity search you very well before being sent to a facility for holding and such.

You should never insert anything into your vagina that can cause infections. Yeah, a yeast infection may just be pretty uncomfortable and is easily curable but a bacterial infection can cause MAJOR problems down the line (infertility, health complications, etc). By inserting something in your vagina like this, you are taking a HUGE health risk.

Not only may the bag accidentally leak a little unknowingly, but it WILL rub inside you for the entire period it is inserted. Lubed up or not, the bag is going to rub up and down the walls of your vagina, most likely causing some irritation and damage, and leading to infections and wounds. The other person is right about scarring too--it is entirely possible to scar your vagina by inserting objects in it.

Also note that zip lock baggies are not air-tight, meaning they easily open when moved around. This being said, the insertion of marijuana directly in your vagina would cause severe issues and you'd probably need to be seen by a doctor almost immediately.

In short, I really wouldn't even think of attempting this. Your health should come before having a "good" time. This is not worth the damage to your body at the least.

I hope I've helped you answer your questions.

Ok firsst of all im really embarred to be asking this.

I know that fingering is not callsed untill its inside...
buh where does it like.. go in...
gosh im so embaressd to be asking this....

jus to clear up any confusion ive gots right now

thanks
xXx _(link)

You shouldn't be embarrassed about learning about your own body unless you're only learning about it so you can "get it on" with another person.

Sexual relations can be extremely risky and fingers can actually carry herpes (both genital and oral), HPV, and other STDs/STIs. If you are only interested in figuring out about your own body, make sure your wash your hands thoroughly and scrub under your nails. Know that things like HPV can live in your nailbed anyway though so really give this thought before jumping on in there.

The other answerer is correct in saying that you also insert tampons in the same area; however, you may not be a tampon user (which is totally okay) so you may still be lost with the lack of information there.

Your body has three "holes" down there. The first (closest to your front) is your urethra and this is where you urinate from. The second hole is your vaginal canal and this is where babies and menstrual blood exit from. The third is your anus and that is where your solid wastes exit you from.

Here is a decent diagram of how these three holes are laid out on your body:

http://www.middle-east-info.org/league/somalia/normalfemalegenitalanatomy.gif

As you can see, your vaginal opening is much larger than your urethra and is much higher up than your anal opening. Your vagina will also be a lot more moist in and around it than the other holes.

If you have never applied tampons you may also have a hymen still in tact. The hymen usually has a small hole in it leading to the inside of the vagina. A hymen is made of very thin tissue and it is fairly easy to tear or stretch. It's located at the entrance to the vagina so, actually, it isn't inside of the vagina. The hole is there to allow menstrual blood to escape the body and is usually too small to accommodate an entire penis to enter the vagina without being stretched.

Here is a link to different kinds of hymens a woman may have:

http://www.soc.ucsb.edu/sexinfo/?article=3rF5

I hope I've cleared some things up for you and you are better able to understand your body. If you have any questions regarding this subject please feel free to ask me! :)

whats a good conditioner for somebody with dry hair and split ends _(link)

I read in a book about an ingredient in some shampoos and conditioners that is really important to look for.

It was called panthenol. It is suppose to be the B5 pro-vitamin and helps to strengthen the hair by filling in damaged areas, leading to less breakage and a smoother feel. It is suppose to help retain moisture (helping to keep it shiney) and thicken hair strands as well. Look for hair products containing this.

In addition, the book I was reading suggested finding a leave-in conditioner that had panthenol in it (some are even labeled on the front of the bottle) to help repair the hair follicles. The book claimed that this was the best method to repairing damaged hair and, if used properly for an extended period of time, would eventually "heal" the hair completely.

okay well i straighten my hair a lot, there's no other choice. i use a heat protecting spray but my hair still gets damaged. what's some good shampoo & conditioner that will 'restore' my hair? yesterday i just bought Suave Humectant and i didn't use it yet and it says it restores dry/damaged hair and gives moisture if this helps at all. _(link)

on the outside of their penis? (meaning theyre uncircumcised) and ca a female get it on her lips and pelvic bone but NEVER on the inside of her lips?
thanks in advance! _(link)

You, most certainly, can contract herpes on any area of your body. Many people with herpes end up with sores on their fingers because they touch an open sore even! So, yes, you can contract herpes all over your body if you're not careful.

What is scarier is that you can actually control genital herpes (HSV-2 strain) on your mouth and oral herpes (HSV-1 strain) on your genitals! Now, that makes things very, very confusing but it is really common now. So, if someone has oral herpes and gives their partner oral sex, their partner may end up with herpes on their genitals. The same goes with genital herpes being contracted through oral sex onto the lips.

Note that the virus cannot mutate into other strains. This means that if you have oral herpes and you spread it to your genitals (by unwashed hands or something) then you still have oral herpes on your genitals--NOT genital herpes. Genital herpes is strain 2 while oral herpes is strain 1.

The virus for genital herpes lives in a different area of your body than oral herpes does. Genital herpes locates itself in your spinal cord (and is shed from wherever you contracted it) while oral herpes is located in your facial structure (and is shed from wherever you contracted it). Genital herpes is said to cause a lot of nerve pain through the back and legs. Neither strain can mutate into each other so, technically, you can have TWO different kinds of herpes.

Herpes is highly contagious so you have to wash thoroughly if you're experiencing an outbreak to lessen your chances of spreading it all over your body.

Herpes also can be spread even if there are not visible signs or symptoms! This means that if someone has the virus inside of them they can spread it to you even if you don't see it on their skin. See, your skin cells are constantly shedding and the virus likes to come to the surface randomly--so it can be shed out at any time and you not know it.

The only real way to find out if you have herpes if to make a doctor's appointment specifically to be STD checked (request for herpes in case they don't usually test for it). They may scrap a sore if you currently have one and do blood testing to find out if you have any strain of the virus.

There is no cure for herpes so one you contract it, you will have it for life. If you fear that you have put yourself at risk for herpes I hope that you will make a doctor's appointment soon to confirm. There are medications that can make the outbreaks less severe and more manageable.

I hope all is well and once you are tested you find that you are healthy. If you have more questions about herpes please feel free to ask me and I will answer your questions to the best of my ability. :)

hi.. im 17/f... and ive had a partner whom had herpes... we didnt have sexual penetration but he did rub himself on my part down there... and my question is, can you get genital herpes like that? lately ive been getting these boil like things on my genitals and theyre full of pus =/ sorry for the graphic images just in case... and they leave scars :'( plz help ..also..ive been getting sick more frequently _(link)

I'm assuming you are talking about genital herpes but I will explain both a bit for you.

The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. Some people do not ever show visibly that they have herpes and a blood test is required to check for such antibodies for which specific strain they have contracted.

Cold sores and fever blisters (commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.

If you share a drink (or eating utensils, anything that touches lips) with someone and you have oral herpes you can pass it along. Kissing is usually the most effective way to contract oral herpes.

You do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer this STD either. It is a fact that you don't have to have an active, open sore to be able to pass the virus on to other people or other parts of your body. The virus often sheds in skin cells and from the mucous membranes when there is no sign of a sore at all. This means you can transfer it to other people when it seems like you aren't even having an outbreak.

If you have sexual relations with someone you can have them contract herpes from you. This means if he rubbed on you, he can transfer it to you very easily. If you have oral herpes and you give someone oral sex then you can then they can develop oral herpes on their genitals. If you have genital herpes and someone gives you oral sex then they may contract genital herpes on the lips and can pass it to you orally. Of course, if you have sexual intercourse and you have genital herpes your partner may also contract genital herpes from you.

I also want to note that any type of birth control, specifically condoms in this case, will not completely protect you and/or your partner from contracting STDs/STIs. Condoms only slightly lessen the chance of contracting such diseases and infections, they do not prevent them. "Safe sex" is really not as safe as the media lets on. Herpes is not just on the "tip" of the penis or "inside" of the vagina--it is considered to be all over the genital region (in the case of genital herpes on the genitals, of course)

Herpes is very, very common now:

"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."

http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/

...which would mean about 80% of the American population has herpes! Now, that's scary.

I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them.

There is no cure for herpes so it is a life-long sexually transmitted disease people live with. The virus actually lives in nerve roots in your body and cannot be removed in any way. Even if you are extremely lucky and go 10 years without a visual outbreak, you still have the virus inside of you. There are treatments to make the outbreak shortened as well as medication that suppresses outbreaks. No matter what you do, you will always have herpes. The medications for herpes sound very scary as they can cause seizures and even death.

Different people have different outbreaks. The outbreak could be small and just have one bump, or it could spread and become large and very bumpy. Here is a photo of oral herpes:

http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/cdc/1573.html

Sometimes women believe they only have small cuts on their vaginal area when they are having a genital outbreak. Here are photos of genital herpes (mostly of males; must click links to view the photos so they won't just pop up on you):

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.

For genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women.

Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to take care of your immune system to lessen outbreaks. Babies can contract it from their mothers and it can cause blindness and fatalities so it's important that, if you become pregnant at any point in your lifetime, you let your doctor know immediately that you have herpes. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.

If you are sexually active please let your partner(s) know about your disease if it is confirmed you have contracted such illness. They may have already contracted it from you already but they deserve to know. From now on you need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they actually can take you to court and sue you because a doctor has already made you aware of your condition.

You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.

I hope I've helped you better understand herpes and what in entails. I apologize if I have been unclear or confusion so you are more than welcome to ask me questions and I would be happy to answer! If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)

how do you know if you have herpes _(link)

I'm assuming you are talking about genital herpes but I will explain both a bit for you.

The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. Some people do not ever show visibly that they have herpes and a blood test is required to check for such antibodies for which specific strain they have contracted.

Cold sores and fever blisters (commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.

If you share a drink (or eating utensils, anything that touches lips) with someone and you have oral herpes you can pass it along. Kissing is usually the most effective way to contract oral herpes.

You do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer this STD either. It is a fact that you don't have to have an active, open sore to be able to pass the virus on to other people or other parts of your body. The virus often sheds in skin cells and from the mucous membranes when there is no sign of a sore at all. This means you can transfer it to other people when it seems like you aren't even having an outbreak.

If you have sexual relations with someone you can have them contract herpes from you. If you have oral herpes and you give someone oral sex then you can then they can develop oral herpes on their genitals. If you have genital herpes and someone gives you oral sex then they may contract genital herpes on the lips and can pass it to you orally. Of course, if you have sexual intercourse and you have genital herpes your partner may also contract genital herpes from you.

I also want to note that any type of birth control, specifically condoms in this case, will not completely protect you and/or your partner from contracting STDs/STIs. Condoms only slightly lessen the chance of contracting such diseases and infections, they do not prevent them. "Safe sex" is really not as safe as the media lets on.

Herpes is very, very common now:

"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."

http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/

...which would mean about 80% of the American population has herpes! Now, that's scary.

I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them.

There is no cure for herpes so it is a life-long sexually transmitted disease people live with. The virus actually lives in nerve roots in your body and cannot be removed in any way. Even if you are extremely lucky and go 10 years without a visual outbreak, you still have the virus inside of you. There are treatments to make the outbreak shortened as well as medication that suppresses outbreaks. No matter what you do, you will always have herpes. The medications for herpes sound very scary as they can cause seizures and even death.

Different people have different outbreaks. The outbreak could be small and just have one bump, or it could spread and become large and very bumpy. Here is a photo of oral herpes:

http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/cdc/1573.html

Sometimes women believe they only have small cuts on their vaginal area when they are having a genital outbreak. Here are photos of genital herpes (mostly of males; must click links to view the photos so they won't just pop up on you):

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.

For genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women.

Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to take care of your immune system to lessen outbreaks. Babies can contract it from their mothers and it can cause blindness and fatalities so it's important that, if you become pregnant at any point in your lifetime, you let your doctor know immediately that you have herpes. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.

If you are sexually active please let your partner(s) know about your disease if it is confirmed you have contracted such illness. They may have already contracted it from you already but they deserve to know. From now on you need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they actually can take you to court and sue you because a doctor has already made you aware of your condition.

You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.

I hope I've helped you better understand herpes and what in entails. If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)

my name is Kyra,
i think i have herpes,
how do i kno for sure? _(link)

I'm assuming you are talking about genital herpes but I will explain both a bit for you.

Cold sores and fever blisters (commonly referred to as oral herpes though they can be transferred genitally) are common names for Herpes Simplex Virus 1. That I am aware of, Herpes Simplex Virus 2, or genital herpes, doesn't have many popular common slang names.

If you share a drink (or eating utensils, anything that touches lips) with someone and you have oral herpes you can pass it along. Kissing is usually the most effective way to contract oral herpes.

You do not need to currently be having an outbreak to transfer this STD either. It is a fact that you don't have to have an active, open sore to be able to pass the virus on to other people or other parts of your body. The virus often sheds in skin cells and from the mucous membranes when there is no sign of a sore at all. This means you can transfer it to other people when it seems like you aren't even having an outbreak.

If you have sexual relations with someone you can have them contract herpes from you. If you have oral herpes and you give someone oral sex then you can then they can develop oral herpes on their genitals. If you have genital herpes and someone gives you oral sex then they may contract genital herpes on the lips and can pass it to you orally. Of course, if you have sexual intercourse and you have genital herpes your partner may also contract genital herpes from you.

I also want to note that any type of birth control, specifically condoms in this case, will not completely protect you and/or your partner from contracting STDs/STIs. Condoms only slightly lessen the chance of contracting such diseases and infections, they do not prevent them. "Safe sex" is really not as safe as the media lets on.

Herpes is very, very common now:

"...one in six adults have genital herpes. It is estimated that over 80 million Americans have herpes of one form or another. This means that 8 in 10 Americans are or will become infected."

http://www.genital-herpes-simplex.com/

...which would mean about 80% of the American population has herpes! Now, that's scary.

I also want to note that most people have regular outbreaks but it is possible to go years in between them. Most people also show signs of contracting HSV-1/2 about 10 to 14 days after but there are occasions where some do not have outbreaks for years. The first outbreak usually is the most severe of them.

There is no cure for herpes so it is a life-long sexually transmitted disease people live with. The virus actually lives in nerve roots in your body and cannot be removed in any way. Even if you are extremely lucky and go 10 years without a visual outbreak, you still have the virus inside of you. There are treatments to make the outbreak shortened as well as medication that suppresses outbreaks. No matter what you do, you will always have herpes. The medications for herpes sound very scary as they can cause seizures and even death.

Different people have different outbreaks. The outbreak could be small and just have one bump, or it could spread and become large and very bumpy. Here is a photo of oral herpes:

http://www.lib.uiowa.edu/hardin/md/cdc/1573.html

Sometimes women believe they only have small cuts on their vaginal area when they are having a genital outbreak. Here are photos of genital herpes (mostly of males; must click links to view the photos so they won't just pop up on you):

http://www.healthac.org/images.html

For oral herpes:
Usually the outbreak begins with a very slight tingling. It may increase to itching before a painful bump appears. The sore usually lasts 5 - 7 days and is commonly located on one of the sides of the upper lip (though it can be anywhere really). Though those are the common side-effects, some people do not experience any tingling, itching, or pain.

For genital herpes:
Most people infected with HSV-2 are not aware of their infection. They mistaken it with insect bites sometimes, especially if the outbreak is not severe. However, if signs and symptoms occur they can be quite pronounced. Sores typically heal within two to four weeks. Signs and symptoms during the outbreak may include a crop of painful and itchy sores, flu-like symptoms, fever, and swollen glands. Many people experience much nerve pain throughout their bodies, specifically legs and back, before and during an outbreak. Urination can be uncomfortable to painful, especially for women.

The only way you can truly know if you have herpes is to visit a doctor while having a visible outbreak so they can test it. They may scrap the area and take your blood. The blood may show antibodies for the specific strain of herpes.

Genital herpes can lead to potentially fatal infections in babies so it's important to take care of your immune system to lessen outbreaks. Babies can contract it from their mothers and it can cause blindness and fatalities so it's important that, if you become pregnant at any point in your lifetime, you let your doctor know immediately that you have herpes. It is also said that HSV-2 helps to spread HIV/AIDs since there are open wounds on the genitals.

If you are sexually active please let your partner(s) know about your disease if it is confirmed you have contracted such illness. They may have already contracted it from you already but they deserve to know. From now on you need to let your future sexual partners know ahead of time about the dangers of engaging in sexual relations with you. If you do not let them know and they contract the virus from you, they actually can take you to court and sue you because a doctor has already made you aware of your condition.

You also need to make sure to wash your hands thoroughly after touching the area around the sore. You CAN spread it to other places on your body. It may spread on it's own, but it'd be a shame to see you back saying you touched your eye after you touched the sore and now have contracted ocular herpes. You should take every precaution you can to not spread it to other areas of your body or to other people.

I hope I've helped you better understand herpes and what in entails. If you have any more questions regarding this matter then please feel free to ask me :)

how long do you have to wait after starting the pill until you don't have to use another form of contraceptive (like condoms) anymore? or i guess i'm asking how long until the pill is fully effective? _(link)

It is correct that the hormonal birth control pill is 99.7% effective when used in perfection; however, it is unlikely that you are using the pills as perfectly as one hopes. This means that you should be taking your pill at the EXACT SAME TIME every single day. Even if you're only a couple of hours off, you have increased the chances of a pregnancy.

Let's face it, we are not perfect beings. Many things can lead to an imperfection in taking hormonal birth control pills. Antibiotics, mis-scheduling, herbs/supplements, major stress, and even weight gain can cause issues in the quality of pregnancy prevention (it can render your Hormonal Birth Control completely ineffective even).

With TYPICAL use of the hormonal birth control, a woman is 92% protected from pregnancy. However, one should take into consideration that even with a 92% effective rate, there is an estimated 8 in every 100 women who will become pregnant from typical usage. This being said, you should be taking as many precautions as humanly possible to prevent a pregnancy (along with STD/STI transmission).

So, in short, no it really is not acceptable to allow a male to ejaculate inside of your body. Birth control pills are not completely effective and we are not perfect beings. Please protect yourself as much as possible. I know you would not want to have to face the hardships it is to become a young mother (or face the guilt of an abortion if you are pro).

Please take enough time to research before engaging in risky activity. STDs/STIs can be very serious and people can go a very long time without being aware that they have contracted something and are passing things along. Babies can even be born with such things so anyone is at risk for having such things. Although condoms do not prevent transmission, they can be helpful in lessening risks. Abstinence is the only safe way to know that you are uninfected and not pregnant. Here are a couple of links you should really check out:

Here is a link that has some really freaky STD facts:
http://www.ashastd.org/learn/learn_statistics.cfm

Here is a link to photos of STDs you should research:
http://www.healthac.org/images.html

I hope things go well for you and you gain enough knowledge so we don't see you back here in a few weeks in fear of a possible pregnancy. If you have any more questions regarding this matter, please feel free to ask me :)

i need to find a picture of someone with a tattoo of 1 2 or 3 stars ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR LIP.
I want one, and my dad needs to see a picture before he lets me get one.
sooo yeahhh.
any help would be great (: _(link)

There are lots of these sorts of tattoos shown online; however, it's a little difficult to find a specific star design. The one listed by the previous answerer is pretty much what I'm finding.
I would like to add in some knowledge about this tattoo if you haven't completely researched it quite yet.

Here are some photos of inner-lip star designs:

http://www.bmeink.com/A60718/high/bmepb311807.jpg
http://www.bmeink.com/A60324/high/bmepb245306.jpg

This tattoo can only be of a small design that often needs touch ups to keep the design visable.

Saliva easily wears away the pigment so touch-ups need to be frequent for awhile. With each touch up, the design is harder and harder to keep. Some of these tattoos in this location only last decently for a couple of weeks while others last a few months but none last nicely forever without constant touch-ups. This part of your body heals quickly and is constantly being "washed" out naturally so pigment is super hard to hold there. Be prepared to spend big money for the upkeep of it.

There also may be the concern for infection since the wound cannot be kept dry and clean. For this reason, you will need to talk with your piercer about the healing process. I know you would definately have to stay away from mouthwashes during this time as they would really help to bring the ink out of the wound.

Speaking of when the ink begins to pull out of the lip, it really looks quite tacky. You may be left with partial stars or weird scarring since the tissues are very thin and sensitive in that area. If you go for a color rather than the normal black ink, be prepared for your color not to last very long at all.

The artist has to be very careful not to puncture your lip too deep or it can scar badly. The artist must also be well-acquainted with these sorts of tattoos because there are many veins in your membrane. If these veins are hit, they can cause excess bleeding, major damage, and serious infection.

So, in short, you may want to give this a little more thought if you haven't already. It's really best to research about these things as much as possible (good and bad things, of course) so you're not caught off-guard and in a tough situation.

I hope things go well!

i asked about the "cum in the eye thing".
wellll. my eye is cleared up now. it's not red or small and doesn't hurt anymore. i flushed it out with water. do you think it's good now? _(link)

You'll probably want to watch the area for a few days and look for redness, swelling, odd discharge, and itching. Try not to mess with it a lot (can become irritated), just check it out every once in awhile to look for signs I've listed. If things seem off then you should get it checked out by a professional as eye infections are not something to be silly about. You may even want to skip eye-makeup for a few days if possible to lessen the risk of infection.

If your partner may have an STD/STI then there can be serious consequences so you may want to be tested for such (along with your partner, of course). I cannot stress how serious these things are nowadays and how easily they can be hidden. Many people are unaware that they have contracted a disease and go years without finding out--which means they have spread it to various partners unknowingly. This can be frightening so it's always best to be on your guard for your own health and safety.

I hope your eye is alright and you end up not needing to see a doctor.

my bf was "stroking his salami" so that when i sucked his dick, it'd be close and i wouldn't have to do much work. little did he know, it was closer than he thought and my head was right above it. so he "came" and it got in my eye. :/ is there anything bad that can happen from this? right now my eye is all red and small and hurts. please help. thanks _(link)

I don't mean to be rude, but the person below shouldn't joke about "eyeball" herpes. It's actually referred to as "ocular herpes" and is really not unheard of. Yes, it really does exist and is extremely dangerous. It usually occurs when someone:

1. Kisses the eye area.
2. Have genital contact (such as what has happened in your case) with the eye area.
3. Passes through the birth canal while their mother is experiencing a vaginal outbreak. This usually causes blindness right away.
4. Touches the eye area with an area of the body that experiences herpes outbreaks.

Of course, in all cases the person must already have herpes to be able to spread it to the other person. Ocular herpes usually results in the person going blind after a few outbreaks. In any case, yes, you actually do put yourself at risk for ocular herpes. As a matter of fact, you can contract herpes onto any area of your body--even the fingertips, which is actually very common.

Also, you do not need to be currently experiencing an outbreak to be able to transmit herpes. Even if there are not visible signs/symptoms of an outbreak, the virus is still active and can be spread.

Here are a few photos of ocular herpes if you don't quite believe me on the seriousness:

http://www.hfreedomnetwork.org/pb/wp_a6802eba/images/img1375543abab7c86d3e.jpg
http://www.revoptom.com/handbook/images/01a.jpg
http://www.phototakeusa.com/Pix/0464/02B/046402B000214-01_T.JPG

Anyway, to help your eye you should flush it out with clean water a bit. Maybe when you're in the shower, just open your eye and let the water run into it (or pull it apart with your fingers if you absolutely must, but be gentle) to rinse the area out. Don't spray water directly into your eye, as the force may be damaging.

You could end up with an eye infection actually, which is why you should try to flush it out. The dirts and such that is in the urethra during ejaculation were probably expelled into your eye. The dirts can very easily do damage to your eye and cause it to become infected. If you do end up with an eye infection then you'll have to see your regular doctor to have it checked out and get a prescription medication to clear it up.

If your eye is still this weird (or in a worse state) tomorrow then you may want to make a doctor's appointment to get it checked out. An untreated eye infection can cause blindness so it's not something you can just leave alone and hope it fixes on it's own.

So, in short, rinse your eye out very well. Do not spray water directly into the eye, let water run into it. You may want to rinse it for a solid few minutes to ensure it's been flushed thoroughly.

As for sexual relations, maybe you want to rethink the whole sex act thing. Apparently you two haven't gotten things figured out completely together, and putting yourself in this sort of risk is not good. I would really hate to see you back here with a question pertaining to an infection, disease, or unplanned pregnancy. I am afraid since this happened and you weren't sure what to do--you should have these things researched out beforehand so in case you run into a problem (like this issue) you're already well-aware of the consequences and, if available, solutions.

I hope I've helped you learn a few things you weren't aware of before, and I truly hope you remain in good health. If you have any more questions pertaining to this subject, please feel free to ask me :)

my name is Rachel and iam 19 years old and my personality has been changing alot ever since i turned 16 and i don't know why i'll tell you what my personality use to be and what it is now to give you the idea of what iam talking about ok to start off with before i turned 16 i was a goody two shoes and when i turned 16 i started doing things that i wouldn't normally do like here's a few suggestions when i turned 16 i was dating this guy who was 20 years old and i snuck over to his house and i use to wouldn't even look at a guy in that way and then i started cussing when i turned 16 and then at 16 whenever i got mad at mom i ran away and went to my aunt's house whenever i got mad at my mom and then when i turned 17 i tried my first ciggerate and i use to get onto everybody i knew for smoking and then when i turned 18 i started smoking all the time and now iam addicted to the nicotine and then when i was at my friends house i tried oral sex with a guy for the first time and then i tried drinking and then i tried pot and then i went online a met a guy off the internet and then when i turned 19 my sister turned gay and she started having sex with girls and i wanted to know what it was like so had sex with a girl and then i went as far to go out with a girl and i used to be a gay basher you know talk bad about gays and tell them they were going to hell for what they were doing and i think i might be bisexual myself and if anybody could please tell me why iam doing these kinds of things when i use to be such a good innocent girl please help me. _(link)

When young adults now begin to mature things can get very odd and scary. The media has pushed younger and younger generations into believing that immoral things are right and that we should steer away from our own conscience.

Here is what you're not quite getting. The whole idea of you even remotely THINKING about asking this question is your conscience SCREAMING at you to stop. You know you're on a very, very bad path and you are lucky enough to have a conscience that is trying to get through to you.

What I'm saying is, you have simply began believing what the media has fed you. The media has fed you crap like:

1. Smoking is okay as long as you "try" to quit sometime. Smoking can be very fashionable, especially if you're underage so you can show off your ability to manipulate people into purchasing the product for you. There are many products out there to help you quit smoking when you really want to so you don't have to worry about the consequences right now. Oh, and sure it may turn your teeth yellow but don't worry--there are many products for that too!

REALITY: Smoking is habit-forming and shows to be highly addictive. Like any other drug, the addiction will always be inside the person even after years of no usage. It is a daily struggle, especially while in the process of quitting. It is VERY expensive to attempt to quit. Smoking is also not fashionable; it makes you smell bad and cough a lot while turning your teeth yellow.
Oh, and whitening your teeth is quite harmful to the body too. It weakens enamel and usually includes fluoride--which can surprisingly cause cancer!

2. Lying to your parents is trendy and perfectly acceptable. They're not on your side and they don't love you after all. They are really stupid and don't know any better--you are a lot smarter than they are! Heck, they never even make time for you anymore! Hide things from your parents so you don't have to deal with their stupidity.

REALITY: Your parents are trying their best, most likely, to give you a good life. This means they have to help steer you in the right direction. They completely understand the confusion you're going through and, though it may scare them at times because they see themselves in you, they want you to turn out to be a good, functionable person. The reason they're not at home much now is because of how society has turned--both parents now need to work full-time to support one normal-sized family.
If you lie to your parents, they are completely unable to help you. When your parents are not able to help you, that means you've ruled out the only people alive that KNOW something you don't know. This leads to a lot of confusion and forces young people to turn to the media for advice. Your parents are there so you can come to them with problems and get good, solid advice--when you rule them out then you cannot look to them for help when you really need it.

3. Being gay is not bad at all. As a matter of fact, gay is totally in right now! Lots of famous people are gay--and when you're gay, more people will like you! Speaking of orientation, the best thing to be is bisexual because it doubles the chances that somebody out there might like you! Yeah, bisexuals get lots of great attention. There isn't anything wrong with not being straight! Gays are so much smarter.

REALITY: Gays are not any more brighter than straight people. The reason the media SAYS that people feel that gay people are bad is so that the people they are telling to be gay will feel that the world is against them. When this happens, they will turn to the media for the "truth" about life. They don't "fit in" any more so they feel that nobody can possibly understand how they feel. When they meet somebody else that has been fed into being gay, they instantly feel a spark and engage in a relationship of sorts. When you have lots of people feeling like they really do have something in common when they think it's impossible to find a match, you get lots of STDs spread around.
When everyone ends up with STDs, they will be ill and broke from needing medications. They will have to lean on the government for their entire world. They will be easy to control and manipulate even more than now. They will buy what you want, when you want, and how much you want them to purchase when the faux-money that you hand them.

And there are tons more of examples that I can list really. It takes a lot to be able to open your eyes to this but it's reality. It's so sad to see the world crumble in front of your eyes because of what the media has done. We've been told to break down our own families, which has left us lost and confused. The confusion and lost feeling has caused us to engage in sexual relationships with anyone who might even be slightly interested in us--leaving us with major illnesses. The illnesses will leave us with an inability to work and function properly so we will have to rely on the government to pay our way through the rest of our years. Throughout those years we will still be so blind about what we are being fed that we will continue to listen to the media, helping to break down other generations.

When you realize what is going on around you, you are more able to change yourself. Changing others is more difficult but you can spread your knowledge of what you've realized.

Try to undo what you've been led into. Reconnect with your family, try to make the most of what you have together. Everyone has bad times, and everyone has fights during these times of stress but you shouldn't completely abandon those who can help you and care about you.

Pick up a Bible and go back to your past. The Bible is our history. The Bible will help you figure out what you need to be doing. Learn about God. Help others in any way you can. Occupy yourself with helping--join a battered women's and children's shelter to help them, join a soup-kitchen, gather supplies to send to shelters, help feed the homeless and elderly, visit the elderly and give them a chance to spread the knowledge they have gained, etc. When you do right for others, you fill a big void in yourself that you may have not even known was there.

Stop worrying about sex. The whole point in "being gay" or "being bisexual" is about having sex. Don't worry about things like that. Sex is worthless now and so many people have thrown down their virginity that it's became a stupid trend. Don't risk your health for a few minutes of feeling like you belong somewhere. You belong with God, and you should make yourself acceptable to Him.

Stop smoking. Just stop. Yeah, it isn't easy but you really need to. Stop buying the cigarettes and save the money for something you do need--or share that money with people who really need it to survive. Yeah, maybe you'll feel like crap for a week or two, and maybe you'll have major cravings--but that doesn't mean you have to run out and buy your weight in lung cancer.

Try to stop buying into the bullshit the media is telling us. Magazines, television, movies, celebrities--they're all telling you a bunch of lies to simply bring you down so you'll be easier and easier to manipulate. Open your eyes and change your ways.

I hope I've helped you see what you've been overlooking. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me :)

I have been involved for over 17 years with my highschool sweetheart. We have 3 children together. We were married in 2001. I divorced him in 2005, because we both weren't ready for marriage. Spiritually, Mentally, Emotionally or Financially. We didn't communicate and couldn't get alone with each other so we divorced, and gave it some space, while continuing to see one another, regardless of dating other people. Upon continuing to see each other, we grew closer together. I still have some trust issues, as he does as well, yet we talk about them. Sometimes we don't communicate with eachother and become distant only for a week or so and let it cool off and then discuss the issues and move forward. I love him very very much. Abuse used to be an issue of the past on both behalves. We have had counseling and abuse is no longer an issue for either one of us. He has recently asked me to remarry him. I asked him why he wanted to try this again, his answer is because he loves me and because of time. Is time really a factor and should it be considered in my answer? Time was a learning experience for both of us. It was hard, confusing and very painful for both of us, but we have over come and are still overcoming daily. I look at the time as negative, but the over coming as positive. Sorry so long, but need a straight up answer. _(link)

I checked out your previous question about this relationship and I really think that you both need some counseling if you cannot figure out how to effectively communicate.

To me, it sounds as if you two have gone through a lot of things together. The problem of all of this is contained in this sentence alone:

"Sometimes we don't communicate with eachother and become distant only for a week or so and let it cool off and then discuss the issues and move forward."

For any relationship to work properly, you have to effectively communicate ALL of your feelings as soon as they come into play. This means, when you're upset you talk about it right away until you feel alright again. It isn't okay to wait until you cool off--you need to talk about things when they occur, when they are fresh, and when you can say every little thing you're experiencing.

This also means opening up to your partner about every little concern or thought you have and having your partner do the same. This takes much time to figure out and learn to stay constant with but you can do it (trust me, I've had to learn this too).

Your first step should be telling your partner about everything you've been keeping back and expect him to do the same. Even when bad things come out you don't just wait until things cool off--you deal with them right then when everything is fresh.

So, sit down with your partner and tell him this. Tell him that you would like him to open up about every itty bitty detail of his thoughts. If one day you're telling him how you feel and he thinks, "Bitch," then he should tell you! Then after he tells you, instead of getting all upset, ask him why he thought what he thought and how he thinks you could handle the situation better.

See, if both parties are aware of exactly how the other thinks then they can avoid so much. They learn what behaviors are acceptable and what affects the other person. They are able to predict responses better, thus avoiding hurtful situations. If you wait until you're calmed down, your partner will never truly understand your side of the situation because you will forget some of the feelings you experienced.

If you can't figure out how to do this (and, yes, it will take time) then counseling is needed. This is exactly why people go to marriage counseling--because they cannot figure out how to talk about their feelings with their partner. The couple will go to counseling so they can talk to the third party in front of their partner, and then become accustomed to their partner knowing all of their inner thoughts. When both partners are use to talking out their thoughts and feelings, they are more likely to hold a successful relationship.

Again, it's really a long process. The point is, even if you think really bad things about your partner at some point you're suppose to tell them so they can take note of what made you feel that way and so they can either stop doing that thing or can help you work out the reasoning why you feel that way. This also includes the cell-phone problem ;)

So, in short, learn to talk with your partner before deciding if you two can have a long-term relationship. I know you don't want go into this thing again only to end up where you are now.

I hope you work things out and all goes well in your future.

i rented cloverfield the other day, and at the end, the guy was like oh were almost out of tape. so i dont get it, what happened with the monster and everything?? _(link)

It's basically just one of those "cliff-hanger" movies so you'll want to watch the sequel that is, most likely, being planned out.

The movie drops off this way so you're left with many unanswered questions. It is a method film makers do to suck in an audience for their sequel. People don't like being left with unanswered questions and will be more likely to see the follow-up movie even if they didn't quite enjoy the first one.

In short, nobody is really knowledgeable of what exactly happened. You'll have to see the second movie to get the rest of the story and find out what happened to the previous characters, city, and monster.

The only thing we can assume is that the characters ran out of tape and the attack on the city continued. I would assume the characters were killed by the monster, but you never quite know in movies now. Apparently the world wasn't destroyed by the monster or nobody would be reviewing the tape, right? You can only read so much into a movie really.

My hair is pretty damaged and I'm trying to find a way to "heal" it if possible. My hair is fairly long, stick-straight, thin, and has lots of dead-ends.

When I shampoo my hair I always condition it too. I shampoo first (twice) then condition it right away. I leave the conditioner on until I finish showering so it is the last thing I wash off of me. I don't really use any specific kind of conditioner so it'd be nice if someone could recommend something really good for damaged hair.

I saw this stuff in Wal-Mart that says it helps to heal damaged hair but it's made out of placenta and that is entirely too creepy for me to be able to use.

Are there any products I can look into using for such a thing? _(link)

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