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am i a slut now?
okay don't say anything like, your under age or anything, I KNOW!!!! so anyway, i was going out with this guy, Andy, i'm 15, then we had been going out for like 3 months, and i was staying at his house for a dance, we live on different islands, but there right next to each other.and we were talking then he told me he loved me, anyway, we ended up having sex... but then later, like a couple months later i found out he had cheated on me twice! then he asked this guy, iain, to start flirting with me and stuff so i would stop liking him and start liking iain. anyway i broke up with Andy, and started going out with iain, but two weeks after we started going out, i slept with him! it just sort of happened! so, i slept with him on the friday ans he didn't talk to me the whole weekend, then on monday, he asked if we could meet up, but he broke up with me! now i feel like everyones looking at me and thinking... slut, my friend says no one cares who i sleep with and that its just in my head but i cant stop thinking it! do you have any advice on what to do to make me feel better? i'm soooooo depressed! ='[
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ok well #1 It doesnt matter what anybody thinks of you. I used to dwell on what people thought of me so I tried to be different. I got so caught up in it that I didnt even know the real me anymore. #2 If he would cheat on you he dont need you. He used you for sex. You were the victim in this all. So dont blame it on yourself. #3 If thats the way the men you choose are going to be you might want to up your standerds a bit. Dont go for just anyone. Find someone who treats you right. You dont deserve it and It isnt right. But dont give up hope you will find the perfect one for you . and finally #4 You are not a slut. It happened and you were used terribly. Dont let them thin you are. And if they do just let them know you dont care if they are going to go on gossip than guess what they are immature and you must be better than them. Dont let them get to you .
hope i helped
xx stephanie
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I think you know if it's slutty or not and you really need to reach inside of yourself to discover this.
Obviously, it feels very wrong to be doing this or you wouldn't have been concerned about being perceived as a slut. From here, you should take the time to decide if you want to do the right thing and discontinue these activities or if you want to disregard your gut feelings and pretend it is acceptable behavior.
It is a fact that when people feel slutty/dirty/whorish they reach out to people they feel will accept their actions and tell them that they are not doing anything wrong. The fact that you are questioning this tells a lot and I hope you do understand that. I also want to note that just because someone here claims it is not slutty behavior does not make it alright--YOU know what is really going on. To put it simply, your conscience is screaming at you.
You obviously have been jumping into some things you are not well-prepared for and your conscience knows it. I suggest you take time to look at yourself and where you are now headed in life. It is not healthy or intelligent to rush into sex without actually getting to know someone--and it isn't right to believe the words, "I love you," without KNOWING the person loves you. Love does not mean sex and sex does not equal love.
What I'm saying is, the next time some guys says he really likes you or loves you it doesn't mean that sex needs to follow. You can love someone so strongly and never have sex with them. Prostitutes have sex every single day with various men/women and never feel any emotion for them so that alone tells you that sex doesn't mean love.
When you interact sexually with a person without getting to know them at all then it does put a stigma on you. The person will perceive you as sexual and empty. They see that you will make them feel good physically but have nothing else to really offer them. Most, if not all, of these sort of relationships burn out quickly.
So, yes, it is slutty behavior. Yes, you should work on getting to know the guy better instead of jumping in the sack at the first opportunity. Yes, you should start listening to your conscience and following what you KNOW is right and not what the media and your peers try to feed you. Yes, if you are questioning your actions then they are, most likely, very wrong and you should discontinue them.
In addition, people do care if you're a slut. I care. I don't want you to become a statistic. I don't want to see you here feeling worse about yourself, falling deeper in the hole. I want to see you grow as a person and KNOW that you are better than these activities.
You'll feel better about yourself when you know you have changed. Work on yourself and don't fall into this dark hole of having sex whenever a guy seems interested. You are worth something right now, don't make yourself worthless to others. Resolve this with yourself, make sure it never happens again, and learn your lesson from these experiences. With all of those met, you will be able to overcome this and will only carry it as a burden to tell others about your experiences--to help enlighten them on what you had to learn through heartache.
I hope you do what is clearly appropriate for you and take steps to work on yourself. If you have other questions like this, please feel free to ask me! :)
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Wow what Jerks. I know exactly what your going through. This happend to me except it was with one guy. Your deffintly NOT a slut. You do what you want and you dont listen to anyone. Its your life you control It. So anyways those two guys were really big jerks. I guess this is just something you can look and learn from. You now can see Alot of teenage boys will do anything to get laid. Im sorry i know how this feels. It sucks. but these are the things in life that will make you stronger and wiser. Your probly a pretty girl i say you go out and find a guy that loves you for you. And now this is just an idea but maybe you should wait 6 months before sleeping with them. Or do anything and see if they really love you and will wait. I did it and it worked great. I found someone who i love. Its just a suggestion. Well im sorry. If you need ANYTHING! just ask. Im sorry i hope you get through this. and just remember your not a slut at all. Mkay i hope i helped. BYE!. GOODLUCK!.
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ok i'd say you've made some bad decisions but i wouldn't call you a slut. i am deffinately a person who understands how things just happen but that Iain kid was deffinately using you and Andy is an jerk for cheating on you. At least you were going out with the guys you slept with so its not as bad as someone who just spreads their legs to anyone who wants it. if you can resist, i'd say take a break from guys for a while. give yourself some time to think and hopefully you'll find a guy who deserves you.
go have a girls night out with a few of your best girlfriends and just go have fun. that always makes me forget about guys.
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OK - here we go:
A slut is someone who sleeps with many people and has no standards or care about who it is. Boys, talk about different sexual experiences with girls, especially when young,hell some of them do it as adults too. They are just like that. They even pass females as it seems like your x did. Catch it, be aware now and stop falling for the game - play no games and be real to yourself. LOVE YOURSELF and DON'T LOOK FOR IT IN SEX because it DOES NOT exist there.
I would stop having sex right now because you already know why since you say it in your first sentence and because you said it, I won't say it since you asked me not to. You already know!
People do talk and judge women, girls, young ladies old women, I am saying this, DO NOT WORRY about what people say about you or think about you, worry about how you feel about yourself and what it is you do to give people thoughts of you. If you give no one nothing to talk about, they will still talk about you, now imagine what they will do once they actually have been given something to talk about. CHANGE your life, forget the past and focus on your future. NO one is perfect, we all make mistakes but it takes maturity to realize it, accept it and change it. It sounds like you have already started realizing it, now focus on changing it for the betterment and uplift of self.
Good Luck and if you need to talk email me.
sophia_pettus@yahoo.com
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