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scared!
hey i was searching columnists and i found yours and decided to ask you...sry this is a little long...i just really need help...
a little more than a week ago i was messing around with my boyfriend and doing a little dry humping and he took his penis out and kinda thrusted it in and out for a few seconds but not all the way in...just sorta a tease cause we were both virgins and just really horny and wanted to see how it would feel
i cant fully remember but im pretty sure i gave him a blow job a little before this all happened and he came in my mouth and i swallowed it and then he put his penis away and we just started making out and messing around again then that happened and im scared that i could be pregnant
he swears that he checked and there was nothing on his penis like precum or anything but im just really paranoid and scared
n then a couple days after that we had sex but i had given him a blow job a little before that and same thing...he came in my mouth and i swallowed and then we started making out and stuff again and got horny and decided to have sex and he put a condom on and all and we had sex for a bit but he didnt go in very far becuase it was my first time and it hurt a bit (though my cherry didnt pop and i dont know why...? he was in far but not ALL the way) then he pulled out and came in the condom
and about twice in the pool we were grinding each other but he was just in boxers (boxer breifs) and like nike basketball shorts and i was in a bathing suit and we were grinding against each other and he moved his penis upwards in his shorts so that it was poking at my vagina and was grinding and took his penis out and put it against my vagina and was grinding it on mine (i was in my bathing suit still) so im scared...really really scared
and its making me think things over even more like what if ive given him blowjobs and gotten cum on my hands then started rubbing my vagina or he got it on his fingers then a lil while later fingered me
im so paranoid and nervous now
im 16 and hes 17 and i last got my period on memorial day weekend...about may 24th im almost positive so if your periods supposed to come every 28 days i should be getting it this friday and now im getting all paranoid cause i feel like other times ive gotten my period i start getting slight cramp waves around now like the few days before i get my period and now im not
please help!
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Ah, I completely understand your fear and I hope I can help you out in understanding some things you're a bit confused about.
While you may have had sexual relations directly before the actual penis being inserted into your vagina, you were not protected at all. When semen exit the penis they tend to leave a few little guys (meaning hundreds of sperm) hanging around inside the urethra (the tube they came from). They are pretty good survivors and can live in that tube for a good while.
Now, your fluids will naturally slide into the hole in his penis with insertion and thrusts. This makes a good connection for the sperm left in the urethra to swim on into your vagina.
When a guy becomes sexually aroused he may pre-cum, as you well know. What you're probably not quite sure about is if he can truly tell or not. In all honesty, your boyfriend doesn't actually know if any tiny, itty-bitty bit of semen exited his penis while he was in your vagina. Even if the pre-cum didn't actually leave his penis as he claims, it may have began to enter the urethra to exit--which brings us back to what I just explained about your fluids naturally being pressed into his body.
In short, yes, you should definately be worried because you were not protected at all.
As for your hymen, some women naturally have a more elastic hymen, allowing a penis to enter. It isn't common but it will lose elasticity with age and may naturally tear the more you have side (more friction against it). It doesn't mean you're defective or anything, your hymen was just able to stretch wider than most other women's.
You hymen is located at the entrance to your vagina. It is easy to tear your hymen if you use tampons or masturbate, which also may be why you did not experience the typical bleeding during intercourse. It is also possible that you naturally stretched your hymen out with tampons/fingers enough to allow a penis to enter without tearing right now.
Regarding the swimming pool incident, there sure risk involved; however, the penis did not enter the vagina, and you were not cummed on directly so the risks are quite lowered. Yes, there could be a pregnancy to result in such activities, but it's probably a lower risk than, say, inserting a penis into your vagina for a full minute. If your boyfriend actually had semen near your vagina then there is risk so please be aware of that.
Now, the norm for a women to go without a period is roughly 28 days; however, some women are different and have shorter or longer times between periods. If you have kept track of your periods you're probably well-aware of when to expect yours. This being said, if you're suppose to get yours this friday and it doesn't come, give it a few days and then head out to the store to purchase a pregnancy test. You can find pregnancy tests in any grocery store nowadays and any pharmacy.
If you're truly very concerned about pregnancy then you may want to make a phone call to your local clinic to get tested there. Home pregnancy tests can show false negatives (meaning it will say you're not pregnant when you are; and NO there is no such thing as a false positive--when it shows positive, you are definately pregnant) so some women only have pregnancy tests done in clinics so they know FOR SURE that the results are correct.
Engaging in sex means always taking the risk of becoming pregnant since NO contraceptive is 100% effective and there is no such thing as perfect use because nobody is perfect. Obviously, you're completely aware of this fact since you are concerned over a possible pregnancy. It also puts you in a very vulnerable state for years to come.
It takes only one sperm to fertilize your one egg. They are designed to do everything possible to ensure reproduction. Your body also does just about everything it can do to make sure the sperm can successfully fulfill their duty. Because of this, you are fertile every day of your cycle, including the days you are on your period. The only time you are more fertile than usual is when you are ovulating (when the egg has been released from the ovary and begins traveling down the fallopian tubes).
Here are some serious facts you want to consider on pregnancy:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You risk STDs/STIs with each sexual contact. These can render you completely infertile and you won't be able to ever have children. If it doesn't do that, it could hide in you and you could end up spreading it to every partner you ever have without knowing it. Even at that, some STDs can deteriorate the brain and be so severe that they cause a long, painful death years later.
A lot of people have STDs/STIs and don't even know it. Many people don't show symptoms. This means that many mothers pass on things to their unborn babies. I'm sure none of us would like to find out 20 years from now that we had contracted HIV/AIDs and that our baby has it too now because we passed it along.
Here are some amazingly scary facts about STDs currently that you've be really surprised at:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
..and here's some photos of SOME STDs (graphic photos of mostly males, you have to click on links to choose which ones you want to see though so if you click here it isn't going to pop up a bunch of photos). It's important that you check these photos out so that you know what STDs can do to a person's body, just in case you experience problems in this area:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
The site really makes you think about things you overlooked before regarding sexual relations:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
...and here is a link about virginity too. It gives good examples of what they're talking about so you're able to understand them clearly:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I understand you'll be scared for the next few days while you wait for your period to come but I hope you take the time to learn about some things you may have overlooked before. I'm only concerned for your well-being and I want things to turn out to be great in your lifetime.
If you have any more questions, or I have missed something or have been unclear, please go right on and ask me. I really do not mind helping you out in any way I can.
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You have no idea how much I used to BE you. My boyfriend and I wouldn't have sex, but I'd do him a favor, he'd cum, and I'd be sitting there freaking out about whether or not the sperm could have possibly made it's way to my vagina. You're question was very long, but I read it all, and my answer is going to be just as long.
The first experience you mentioned, when you were just doing a little grind, and he slipped it, is the other scenario you have to worry about. Even though it's the only one you SHOULD worry about, it's still not very probable that you're pregnant.
I'm glad that you used a condom the second time with him. They're about 89% effective against pregnancy.
As for the pool? No. After I kept freaking out thinking that my boyfriend's came touched my hand, then I peed, got it on my vagina when I wiped blah blah blah-- I finally just sat down and researched it.
In order for a girl to get pregnant, a penis needs to be inside the vagina. Once sperm hits the air, it dies. Therefore, unless his penis was inside your vagina at the moment he was penetrating you, your pregnancy chances are from slim to absolutely nothing.
Also, as long as someone is wearing underwear, in your case a bathing suit, then there's no possible way it could happen, either.
When I was going through this faze, my boyfriend told me that people have sex all the time.. without condoms. Only 50% of them get pregnant. So if their chances are only half when they have actual sex, then getting pregnant without having sex is completely impossible.
Like I said, because if the time you actually did have sex, there may still be a chance from that. But really, relax.
Your period feeds off of different things. Food, exercise, sleep, and stress. Stress can actually slow down the arrival of your period. When I though I was pregnant, my period was a week late. And what sucked the most? I was inventing the pregnancy symptoms in my head. So I was actually making myself nauseous, hungry and tired.
So relaxxxxx. There's nothing you can do about it now. But now that you and your boyfriend may be getting more into sex, try birth control. That's 99% effective and way easier to manage with.
Take care!
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