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Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
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The Question
"PLEASE talk to a counselor about your urges. This plan is probably not going to work (there is always evidence, and there are always witnesses in a school environment. You haven't exactly been secretive about your obsession, and not everyone is as fucked up as you are: Someone is going to feel they must speak up for justice for your victim.) and even if it did work, you would still have sexually assaulted someone. You would still have done something completely, disgustingly and unforgivably wrong. You would have forced someones body to be used, against their will, solely for your pleasure. It's one of the great violations of another person you can make. It's not 'love' it's not even obsession: It's a violent attack, pure and simple.
"
I am not raping her
The Answer
Do you think that makes it okay?
That you aren't planing on raping her so it's all good.
Shall we give you a prize because you only going to force your lips (and maybe tongue on her) and not your dick?
No. What you are planning is still wrong. Illegal and wrong.
If you can't see that, you are seriously mentally ill, out of touch with reality, and a possible danger to other human beings.
You are still planning on sexually assaulting her
You are still planning on surprising her, trapping her, and using her body against her will solely for your own pleasure.
You are planning on violently attacking her.
(And then you are planning to blackmail her if she tries to seek justice after you violently attack her.)
It's all disgustingly and unforgivably wrong.
Are you actually so sick, so mentally disturbed and unaware of reality, and have so little respect for another human being, that you think it's okay just because it's 'not rape'?
It's nice that you aren't planning on raping her. That's a small comfort I suppose.
How about not sexually assaulting anyone, ever?
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The Question
I've known this guy for about 7 years we've dated off and on for the past year. He actually tried to get with me pretty much throughout all of high school but he was younger than me by two years so I never felt sexually attracted to him until now that we're both seniors in college. He broke up with me last october and we've tried to be friends but it never worked cause we're too much alike. anyway, we hooked up two weeks ago and have been "friends" since then but yesterday we were joking around about past sexual encounters and he sent me pictures of girls he screwed while we were broken up...... SERIOUSLY WHO DOES THAT?!? Am I wrong for being so upset about it even though we're just "friends"? He wasn't like this in high school, I feel like now he's just become so cruel and i've taken it for so long that I think he thinks it's okay to treat me like this. I don't want to lose him so what do i do/say? I feel like if I say something he'll be like "we're not dating so what does it matter"? HELP!
The Answer
Why? Because he's a manipulative idiot.
You are not 'wrong' for being upset, but ask yourself this honestly:
Were you wrong to expect any better from him?
Didn't you know this is the kind of asshole he is these days?
Maybe he really did just make a stupid choice. Maybe he was just trying to treat you like 'one of the guys' by showing you those pictures. Maybe he really didn't understand that being friends with you, his ex and someone he has had casual sex with, doesn't mean the exact same things as being 'friends' with the guys he get drunk with. Different friendships require different kinds of respect and courtesy.
Maybe he just didn't 'get' that, and didn't realize that treating you like any other friend wasn't respectful of the kind of friendship he actually has with you.
Or, maybe he was being a manipulative jackass, who was trying to show off too you. Maybe he believed (as many men believe) that seeing he could get other hot girls would make you want him more. (I am told some girls really do behave this way.)
He probably doesn't really know the truth of why he did this, and even if does know, he might not tell you.
I understand 7 years is a long time to know someone and it's hard to let go, but it should also be long enough to take a good look at the person he is today and tell yourself "Nope. Not what I want in my life."
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The Question
Should parents give children allowance?
The Answer
I don't think children "deserve" an allowance, but that getting an allowance can be a useful tool for teaching children about money and money management.
As long as the allowance is used as a chance to speak about money, and not simply a 'gift' each week, and especially not if they can easily beg for more money whenever they run out... Then I think it's a good thing.
It's especially a good thing if it's linked to chores, and there are clear ways in which is can be loss (ie, not performing your chores).
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The Question
17/f,
So I was wondering as I know it happens to everyone at some point, how do you like overcome getting talked/bitched about?
Today, theres this girl I knew from school a few years ago (we didn't even talk) and as soon as I sat on the computer next door but one to her in the library, she started OBVIOUSLY talking about me to her friend. Within a minute, I made sure I gave them a 'look' to know I knew they were talking about me, and I got up and went downstairs. When I got home I deleted her of my fb friends. But I don't know why she was bitching?
I can't ask her why, because she'll just get her friend to gang up on me, and I really really dont get on with her friend as it is-she always used to bully me. Incidently, after the computer thing I went to the toilets and cried my eyes out. So how do other people just 'get over' what other ppl say negativly about them?
The Answer
There is no reason to ask two people, who don't know or give a shit about, what or why they were saying about you.
So don't stress about that: You are right. You can't really ask her why she was bitching. The only thing you can do is be the bigger person and let it go.
The truth is this: Very few people 'just get over it' when others say nasty things. Most of us cry it out in the bathroom sometimes, even as adults. It doesn't make you weak (giving in and trying to be a bitch or a bully back at her THAT makes you weak, cause she's way better at it than you are.)
So don't give yourself such a hard time. If the bullying crosses the line to you getting ganged up on again, take it to a teacher. If it's just nasty whispers, take a deep breath, cry it out if you need too, and keep on learning how to let it go.
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The Question
Hey guys. So as i said in a previous question, my boyfriend is going on a class trip to DC this weekend. the problem is, this whole week he has barely been texting me. Like the texts only in the morningt and to say goodnight and when we do text its just short responses or answers to my questions. This is the first weekend in a long while that we wont be able to hang out cuz he will be gone.:( and the worst part is, HE DIDNT EVEN ASK ME TO HANG OUT BEFORE HE IS LEAVING which is tonorrow:'( i know ur gonna say "well why didnt you ask?" But the reason i didnt was because he hasnt been showing me he cares about me at all this week no matter how hard i tried. I even asked if something was bothering him and he said "no is something bothering you?" well i feel like i am being taken advantage of and i need to know, am i overthinking this, is this a red flag, or am i really being taken advantage of?
The Answer
You aren't being taken advantage of if you wont ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED.
It might be a red flag, but stop assuming he's being malicious. That kind of judgement and contempt will kill your affection for him even if it turns out he just busy and careless.
Wish him well. He's going on a trip and is going to be busy and occupied. Let him know he is missed and that you want to hang out as soon as you can when he gets back.
If he still blows you off - then it's likely something more is up, but give the guy a fair chance to be good by asking for what you want, before you start declaring that he is 'taking advantage of you' in your own mind.
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The Question
So,we have been together for about 3months and everything was fine!he was my first bf and he said that he cares for me and things like that!I truly loved and I trusted him but he finally broke my heart in the worst way!He said that he loved me only as a friend and nothing more...He also said that he doesnt want to loose me and that he wants to stay friends but I couldnt stay friends with him like nothing ever happened!!The most painful was the fact that he acted like nothing ever happened and that hurts me most:( (but when we talked for the last time he told me that he was really sad about that but he showed me the opposite)and after 3days we broke up,only 3days he had a new gf and he said that he fell in love!!i cannot undertand how he could love another girl so quickly??he broke my heart and now he seems to be really fine!!Iam kind of fine now because it's overt that he wasnt worth but how he could do something like that to me??does he really love his new gf? Please help me!!Thank youu!!
The Answer
None of us can know why he got together with someone else so quickly, and you can't really know either.
A large part of breaking up means not knowing what your ex is thinking or feeling anymore. You don't have any right to that info any longer.
It's okay that it hurts, and its okay think what he did was kinda shitty, but your questions will probably never get really satisfying answers. Learning to accept that is a large part of learning how to be broken up.
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The Question
my neighbor has been married for 29yrs and she has never been with another man. she and i are exstremely sexually attracted to each other we have not had sex yet but want to.what do you think is going through her mind? please help
The Answer
We aren't mind readers. We can't tell you if this woman wants to cheat on her husband or not.
I can tell you this: Don't have an affair. It's dumb and messy and disastrous and hurtful for everyone involved. Regardless of what she might be thinking, don't you go and be that kind of asshole.
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The Question
I am deeply in love with my teacher, I am obsessed with her and crave her immensely. She is such a beautiful and perfect lady and I know she likes me as a person and student.
She is about 26 or 27 and I am 16. I fantasize about her all the time, I go out of my way to walk past her room or see her, check out her Facebook page all the time to see her pictures, and I can't stand the thought of not being with her.
I was thinking of one day staying after class at the end of the day for help and then when no one is around just grab her and kiss her on the lips and caress her body. I will also have my sister and one of my friends stand outside near the door so he can look out if anyone is coming. Also to immediately close the door when I go for it and then open it again after.
another way of doing this is this way. Disguise myself with a mask and change of clothes. Rush in and blindfold her and then start kissing her. However, this seems like more of a risk than the first way since she won't be so surprised if I come in as myself and talk to her normally first
some reasons why this can work
If she tells anyone about it I will just say she did it to me and they will likely believe me since I am the young one and still considered a child so what could she possibly do?
I hear just a claim from a student would immediately cause a teachers career to be over.
And would she really want to spend money on lawyers and crap with her teacher salary? And also have to go through a whole investigation and her name being everywhere?
. She can also be kind of flirty sometimes with her male students so therefore it won't be hard for people to believe she is the one that came on to me if I need to tell that story.
I'm also not the type of person people would believe would do anything so rash.
Also, if she goes against me without any proof she might look like a bully.
Also, I won't tell anyone anything unless I can tell she is thinking about telling someone first
some have made some counters saying the plan won't work, I think though these criticisms have no weight
-they say that they would believe her and not me. But the thing is though she will have no EVIDENCE, or witnesses. So I find this hard to believe they will automatically go after me just on her word. If this was true, what is to stop any teacher from telling that a student did something inappropriate and getting them in trouble?
-they say the police will be called in to question me and make me take a lie detector test. First, I don't think it will have to go that far since again there is no evidence. Also, I already know that lie detector tests are considered unreliable and are not used in court.
-they say she will be more than willing to go through with pressing charges and getting lawyers and stuff to defend herself. But the thing is if she doesn't tell anyone then she won't have to in the first place. And it is not just the money, she will have to deal with the whole investigation and publicity and having this all being gossiped about
I will also make sure there are no cameras or anything in the room in advance, and if there are I will call this off. Also, I will make sure there is nobody else around so there will be no witnesses. We will take a look at the area and plan everything in advance. I think this is a fool proof plan. I wish it didn't have to be this way but I am too obsessed with her to the point where it is affecting my life and can't stand the thought of not doing something with her, it is killing me, my heart pounds just thinking about her
The Answer
Sexually assaulting someone is never a good plan.
Why do you keep on thinking it's okay to abuse someone else in this way, just so long as you don't get in trouble?
You are wrong. If you can't see that you are wrong, you are mentally ill. This is not okay. It's not ethical, it's not reasonable. It's criminal abuse.
PLEASE talk to a counselor about your urges. This plan is probably not going to work (there is always evidence, and there are always witnesses in a school environment. You haven't exactly been secretive about your obsession, and not everyone is as fucked up as you are: Someone is going to feel they must speak up for justice for your victim.) and even if it did work, you would still have sexually assaulted someone. You would still have done something completely, disgustingly and unforgivably wrong. You would have forced someones body to be used, against their will, solely for your pleasure. It's one of the great violations of another person you can make. It's not 'love' it's not even obsession: It's a violent attack, pure and simple.
You do have an obsession, but the way to get it under control isn't to abuse her, and ruin her life. The way to get it under control is to seek therapy.
If you don't stop heading down this path, you will commit a horrible crime against a woman someday, perhaps even more than one. You will ruin dozens of lives, and eventually you will get caught and punished.
Handle your mental illness now because if you don't, even if get away with this crime, eventually your urges to sexually assault will destroy your life as well as your victims.
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The Question
My name is Brenda and I'm 32 years old. My husband is 31, this is his first marriage and my second.
I am at a loss on how to communicate with my husband, it seems that I can do nothing right , to have a conversation is almost impossible and when I bring it up to him I am being dramatic and acting like a victim. I don't know what to do. It just really upsets me when he says I act like a victim. I feel like he just doesn't want to talk with me, but he can talk to his friends.
Help me please. I fear loosing the man I love over something so trivial.
The Answer
Get marriage counseling. If he refuses to go, go by yourself.
Bad communication normally means both people are messing up, and you wont be able to fix it all by yourself, but you can address the things you are doing wrong and talk it over with a rational and impartial expert.
If your husband has descended to name-calling and contempt, that's not trivial anymore. If the two of you, together, can't change course, that kind of contempt will kill your marriage.
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The Question
Hi there,
So today I got a mail from Paypal for the first time ever, it was addressed to my dad. My dad does not know how to use Paypal or any technological savvy stuff. I am just curious how they got his full name and address without him having an account with Paypal.
Am I paranoid for finding this alarmingly strange and possibly illegal that Paypal has his details without his knowledge?
Any advice or stories of your own similar to this is appreciated.
Thanks!
The Answer
PayPal doesn't have his info unless he gave it to them.
You should check with your father and ask if he has a PayPal account. Maybe he tried to use ut at some point.If he doesn't, delete the email. It's just a phishing scam.
It's nothing to be too alarmed about, it's not hard for scammers to get an email address and the name of person who uses it.
Even with this little to go on I'd say its almost definitely a scam - an email designed to make you input personal details in thier system (not paypals) so they can steal from you.
These scams are really, really common.
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The Question
Okay, I'm a 15 yr old girl and my mom wants to take me to the gynecologist. She does the laundry for the house. Whenever she does our (my sister's and mine) she always mentions how she notices a certain... substance in my underwear. The thing is that I've noticed as well and it only comes out when I'm... sexually stimulated (by dreams and such. I'm a virgin and I don't masturbate. Shocking, I know). With this being true, I always write it off as me getting wet and ignore it. I'm really terrified to go, but she's thinking about asking my doctor for a referral soon. From anyone who's experienced this before, what should I do?
The Answer
Wow. Looks like you are in need of a female perspective.
You should go to the gyno. NOT because there is something wrong with you - you are probably just fine. There is nothing abnormal about the amount of discharge you are experiencing. Some women have more discharge than others, both when they are aroused and when they are not. You are young and you are still learning what is normal for your body. This might be your normal.
You should go to the gyno because going to the gynaecologist is part of being a healthy adult. Like going in for a physical, or going to the dentist. It's something you do to be a responsible adult and care for yourself.
It is a bit scary the first time, and it can be uncomfortable, that's why I think you should go. It's good to get it out of the way and know what to expect. You don't want to wait years and have a real serious problem before you go for the first time. That just makes it worse.
A others have said: You are entitled to see the doctor alone, and the doctor cannot reveal anything you say to them to your mother without you consent. Period. That will not happen.
You are also entitled to NOT see a doctor if you don't want too, but I think you should. You are probably fine, but its good to get checked out and make sure.
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The Question
13/F
So we don't have many rooms in our house. My brother has his own room (So I won't live in there... He's 16), and my 14 y/o sister has a room (Can't live there) And then my other sister... She's an adult. ADULT.
Don't you think she should be gone?! I'M the one here who needs a room! I'm getting sick and tired of not having a room anymore. She's gone 90% of the time partying and stuff or just gone, and I'd always be in that room! I sleep on the FLOOR. I have to make my own bed out of blankets because I have nowhere to put my old bed. Help! Please!
My parents said "She has nowhere to go." And she's always gone. Please help! What do I say and what do I do?!
The Answer
I’m sure that you’d be far happier and healthier if you had your own room. I bet your parents believe that you having a room and a bed would be better than the current situation too.
But are your parents going to kick their eldest daughter out? Put on her the street, or make her live with one of crazy partying friends? Probably not. It’s not that anyone really thinks your adult sister ‘deserves’ her own room, it’s the risks and struggles to actually get her out of it. Those risks and struggles can only be handled by your parents, and if they don’t want to take that on, what can you say to them?
I don’t know why your parents are letting your older sister stay.
I don’t know why you can’t share a room with either of your sisters.
I don’t know what your family’s situation is. I don’t know if your parents are being lazy or careless or if they are struggling with pressures that you can’t understand (or maybe don’t even know about). I don’t know if it’s just that culturally, they expect their adult children to continue to live with them.
Without knowing WHY your parents are running the family this way, it’s impossible to know what you might say to change their minds.
Maybe you should re-ask your question and include some more information about your family.
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The Question
So me and my boyfriend have been dating since august and when we first got together I told him about something i had done. It involved me and someone not of our ethnicity. He is German and has a superiority thing going on. he will constantly bring up the fact that i done this and he tells me that is disgusts him, but then he says that its his own personal demons and that he will just get over it, that it isn't me, its him. The last thing i want my boyfriend to do is to think i am sick. besides it was before i even met him or even knew of him. He said it is what it is and that i cant change it and neither can he but it bothers him ALL OF THE TIME but he wants it to go away because he shouldnt feel like that...what should i do, he is the love of my life and just knowing he feels this way but loves me very much, it crushes me to no end. Help?
The Answer
If I were you, I'd dump him over this.
He doesn't deserve any bonus points just because he's being honest about being hateful.
Being honest about bigotry and judgements about your sexual past doesn't make that hatefulness any less wrong.
He's degrading not just another race and ethnicity, he's degrading you. He sees you as less worthy because you didn't share his bigotry and hate when you choose a sex partner.
It's great that he also says "It's me not you." While he is judging and degrading you - but that's like the guy who says "I know I have an anger problem, my girlfriend doesn't deserve it when I punch her" but keeps on punching his girlfriend anyways!
Being honest about having a 'superiority thing' actually makes it even uglier. Being a judgmental bigot is not just who he is: At some point it is what he is choosing to be.
Don't waste your time waiting for him to change. I doubt very much from what you've said here that he actually wants too change or realizes how truly wrong he is. He is trying to have his cake and eat it to: He wants to keep you AND his bigotry, but if he wants to live an honest life and have a respectful and healthy relationship, he can only keep one.
A man who is better at hating people of another ethnicity, then at loving and respecting the person you are, is not someone to spend your life with.
EDIT: GilbertMar's first comment is disgusting to me. I couldn't possibly disagree more. You don't 'bring on yourself' someone else's bigotry and hatefulness. That shit is all on him.
You didn't do anything WRONG in telling your partner the truth about your sexual past.
It is important to be honest with sexual partners about your sexual past.
It was important to find out if he could handle the fact that you are a complete human being, with your own life, opinions, choices and past.
If you find out that he CANNOT handle it - that doesn't mean you made a mistake telling him the truth - it just means he isn't a good match for you.
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The Question
The guy I'm talking to is always talking about girls he'd like to have sex with. We'll be talking about something and all of a sudden he'll send me a pic of a celebrity and be like "I would last 3 seconds man those legs she'd be mad but I would be the happiest man alive". Am I wrong to have my feelings hurt? Everytime he does that i just want to cry and i dont really know why. hes not one of those guys you can be emotionally vulnerable eith either so im stuck keeping it bottled in. I know we're not technically dating but I just think its disrespectful i never do that to him so why does he do that to me? I can't help but think maybe hes not even really interested in me. I get guys are naturally sexual people but does he have to always tell me about all the girls he'd like to screw? I'm 22 and he's 19 btw
The Answer
That's incredibly immature and rude.
Causal disrespect like that during the early phase of getting to know someone (when they should, in theory, be on their best behavoir) should be a deal breaker.
He might be interested in you, but if he can't behave respectfully and help you feel safe with him, so what if he's interested? Are you interested in him?
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The Question
how do tell a guy if you want to break up with him but not hurt his feelings? I am in a situation right now where he still likes me but I don't exactly like him and there is this guy who asked me out and I said "yeah sure" and my "boyfriend" was sick that day and then he found out and somehow i need a way to say sorry and break up with him
The Answer
Getting dumped hurts. It just does.
It's good to do your best to be kind, but you can't make it 'not hurt'. If you try to make it 'not hurt' him you'll end up causing confusion and even more pain.
The right way to do this is the simple, straightforward and completely honest way.
Be direct and clear: Let him know the relationship is completely 100% over. Don't let there be any doubt. Don't ask to be friends unless you want actually want to be friends.
And yeah, you should apologize for accepting a date with somsone else before breaking up with him. That really sucks. At very least you could have told the other guy you'd get back to him.
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The Question
i got curious about satanism and what it really is and i found that about Luferism:
-Luciferians
Many see Luciferianism as another branch of Satanism (and generally a theistic branch, although there are some who see Lucifer as symbolic rather than an actual being). However, Luciferians see themselves as a separate religion.
Luciferians use the term "Lucifer" in its literal sense: "lightbringer" in Latin. Rather than being a figure of challenge, rebellion, and sensuality, Lucifer is a creature of enlightenment, the one who brings light out of the darkness.
He does not, however, present his gifts to everyone. Luciferians embrace the seeking of knowledge, delving into the darkness of mystery and coming out better for it.
Luciferians also stress the balance of light and dark and that each depends upon the other. Park of that light and dark pairing is spirituality and physicality. While Satanists revel in physical existence, and Christianity focuses more and spirituality, Luciferianism is a religion that seeks a balance of both, recognizing that human existence is an intersection of the two.
i find that very smart and i like it,but is that so wrong? if you know more stuff about it tell me please,and what does that leave me? believeing in this?
The Answer
Your question doesn't really have an answer. There are as many different interpretations of Luciferism as they are individuals. The definition you've posted here is not the only one, and some Luciferians would disagree with parts of it, but there is no specific Luciferism sacred text, no dogma and no rules to even begin to settle those disagreements.
There are Luciferians who are Neo Pagans and polytheists. There are Luciferians who engage in occult practices or magic, and those who don't. There are Luciferians who are Christian Spiritualists or Gnostics. There are Luciferians who are atheists and simply see the myths as symbolic.
Is it so wrong?
Like pretty much all questions about supernatural Gods and faith, that depends entirely on who you ask.
Most people who follow a major Abrahamic religion (Christianity, Judaism or Islam) will find nearly all kinds of Luciferism are heresy and blasphemy.
I think you are looking for absolute answers where none exist.
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The Question
He saw me going to the shooting range with his 12 year old brother and now he wants to shoot my rifle. It is a .22LR Henry Lever Action. Should I let him?
The Answer
Is he physically large enough to handle it safely?
Do think your son is mature enough to understand that guns are not toys, or part of play pretend, to be safe and respectful around fire arms?
If not. Than no.
I was taught gun safety from a very young age, but was not allowed to shoot anything until I was about 14. I think to teach a child properly you should be teaching them about gun safety for months (or year) before you ever put a weapon in their hands, even an unloaded one.
I wouldn't teach a six-year-old child to handle a gun (I probably wouldn't teach most 12 year olds either).
Part of teaching safety is saying "No" when a child is too young, too immature, or physically too small to handle a weapon.
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The Question
Long story short, 2 of my nephews got into a small fight with some other kids. I don't know who started it, but my brother in law was mad. He was so mad that he said: "Next time that n*qqer b**ch hits you, you hit them back." My mom and some other ppl heard him. His wife (my sister) is black, his sons are half black and his 2 step sons are black. He hates to be around my family, but he's married to my sister. He told my mom to excuse his language and that what he said didn't matter because the family is black except him. Wasn't he wrong for saying that?
The Answer
Yes. It was wrong.
He may have honestly, in his heart, had no racist intentions at all. It doesn't matter. That isn't language you use with family, or with children. It's inherently bigoted and hateful.
Don't worry too much about judging his intentions or labelling his behaviour as 'racist'. People tend to get their backs up to an extreme degree if you call them racist and stop listening. Just make it clear that whether he thinks that word is racist or not, it's a word that is not to be used in your company or around children. It's not respectful and it wont be accepted.
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The Question
I'm asking my friend for a website, and she gave me a code word to figure out what the website is. She said some of the words are in the website name. Please help? Here's the code:
MAYBE EAT GOURMET AND SEE HAIRSTYLISTS AFTER RUNNING EARTH.
It's weird, I know, but it's the code. Thanks!
The Answer
That's hardly a code.
I'll guess you were looking for a place to stream videos online... It's MEGASHARE.
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The Question
I am 24 years old and I think i might be pregnant here is my problem my mom says that I have the mind of a 13 year old legally she has court ordered custody of me and has papers saying that I cannot take care of myself and i afraid that if i am pregnant she will be able to force me to have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption because we don't have the money to take care of a baby right now my mom is sick and had to retire earlier from her job because she was sick and could no longer work the boss drove her home that day and said come back when your better but she never did get better. we don't have any room for a baby we live in a 2 bedroom house 1 bathroom and we already have 3 kids living with us that my mom has custody of. I am also afraid that my boyfriend will go to jail for statutory rape laws because of how young i am in my mind please help me i am scared.
The Answer
It's unlikely she could force you to have abortion if you don't want too. Even if you are legally a child, you have the right to say no to an abortion (unless the pregnancy endangers your life. If that's the case AND you are not legally an adult, your mother or a court might have the power to order an abortion.)
If you are not a competent adult then the state will take the child away from you. Your mother wont need to force you to give it up for adoption. The state will likely determine you are not able to care for a child.
If you aren't capable of caring for yourself, than you aren't capable of caring for a child. You can't bring a child into your small home with three other dependent children. If you have no income, nearly no ability to care for yourself, and no chance of being able to change those things for yourself, then that is not a situation you can bring a child into.
The best thing you can do is talk to an adult. If you are worried about speaking to your mom, talk to a therapist or a teacher who can help you figure out if you are pregnant, and what the next steps are.
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