Razhie


"This is the true joy in life - being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances." --George Bernard Shaw

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My official name is Manda, but I've been Razhie for almost as long. I'm a 28 year old woman who didn't use to be half as confident or brazen as she is now.

My advice is pretty good, not always perfect and rarely censored.

I can read what is written. I cannot read your mind.


Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.

Favourite Collumnists. (WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)


    The Question
    Sorry for the length. My dad can be selfish, condescending, self righteous, hypocritical, and hateful. Worst of all, he and I aren't around each other enough to be very close and he favors my sister to a point where I don't feel like he's her father and my father as well. When she's not around, he is nice enough, but when she is, it's like he's only got enough niceness to go around and she gets it all. He takes her side all the time and assumes that I'm going to be a jerk to her before I've even done anything. She just got engaged Friday night and my mom has concerns about her fiancee, which my dad is on her back about saying how disappointed he is in her for not being happy for my sister and supporting her any decision she made. What sucks is that I know there are decisions I could make that he wouldn't support. He told me that he wouldn't let a man marry me if he didn't like him and Saturday night, I made a decision I know he won't be happy about. I'm 25 years old and I still go to my parents baptist church, but have just chosen not to anymore. I'm going to explore other churches and denominations, but I can just hear my dad yelling about it as if our church is the only acceptable one in the world. Not to be selfish, but a little part of me was hoping that I'd get married before my sister so that I'd be in the spotlight for once. I can't see my dad caring as much about my wedding as he does about her's, but if mine came first, he might care as much or at least act like he did. What's sad is that recently, to prevent more negative feelings, I've decided to stop caring about my problems with my dad. I feel like there's nothing I can do about them, but I know it's wrong not to care. What should I do?

    The Answer
    I think you are trying to find a healthy way to handle your relationship with your father, and you should feel good at least about that. A lot of people are a lot older than you before they ever take a deep breath, and let their parents be their own – sometimes shitty – selves.

    You might be right that “not caring” isn’t quite the right approach. It might be better to think of this as ‘having realistic expectations.’ You can still care for the man, and you can make an effort to make your relationship better, without torturing yourself with the hope or expectation that he’ll wake up tomorrow a changed man.

    Realistically, you know your father will not give you the love, respect or support you are looking for. He isn’t going to value you in the way a father should.

    It’s not quite right to say there is “Nothing you can do.” There is little you can do to change his behavior - there is a lot you can do to keep yourself happy, sane and healthy despite the choices he makes.

    So here’s my advice to you, and it might be off the mark, but I’m going throw it out there anyways:
    Why not work on your relationship with your sister? It sounds like your father has poisoned you both towards one another, and if there is any bad blood between you two, he’s made it worse.

    I suggest this because when I was about 25 I suddenly found out that my sisters and brothers were also kind of cool people. We finally had enough distance from our childhood lives and parents, that we were able to really meet another, on our own terms, as adults. Now, I have seven siblings, some of whom I consider friends, and some of whom I don’t, so by means am I saying you should force yourself to become your sister’s bestie, but I am saying that if there is a lot of baggage in your relationship with her, now is a good time to try to reintroduce yourselves as adults, and build a relationship with her that is free of any negative influence from your father.

    You might find that is a much more rewarding way to take charge of your own relationships and dynamics in the family, rather than wishing and representing your father for everything he isn't.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I have a guy friend and I know i'm interested in him. He is a really big flirt, so he gets really confusing and its impossible that i'm the only girl to like him... We dont talk a ton, but he's not one to talk everyday. He invited me over to his house to watch a movie and cuddle a month or so ago, and we did watch the movie but just wound up sitting on the couch and later played Call of Duty; he later told a friend he thought I didnt want to be there (in which he was set straight and was told that i did..)

    the other day we were messaging back and forth and having a random conversation where i told him i was tired of watching movies alone with my dog, and he said "well you don't have a boyfriend to watch movies with so yeah that would get boring!" and i said "exactly!" he then told me to "go find a guy at the club lol" and i said "i dont think so.." and he said "why not?" so i said "well im not going to find one at a club.." so he said "then where?" i replied "i have no idea.. see, i'm a traditionalist. he, must come after me haha" and then he replies with "oh, so he has to make the first move?" and i said "yes sir." so he said "i see i see."

    thats where i'm confused; did he repeat the question because he was confused on how i worded it, or did he repeat it for a reason? someone help!

    The Answer
    The trouble with being the kind of girl who waits for a guy to make the first move, is that you have to wait for him to make the first move - and he might not.

    Does it sound like he might be interested? Sure. He definitely could be.
    He also could just be a flirt, or he might like you, but not like you enough to do anything about it.
    He might not have the confidence to admit he likes you, or he might like someone else more.

    You'll never know unless you ask, or, if you wait around long enough, maybe you'll find out.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I broke up with someone who made me feel like he was ashamed of me.
    After a year I never once met his work friends as he said they were not good enough for me to meet. He would never hold my hand or show any affection in public. And it was a struggle to get him to even go out for dinner.
    Was he just using me the whole time?
    How can I stop feeling the ashamed feeling?
    Thanks
    I'm 34 & female.

    The Answer
    You aren't doing yourself any favors by clinging to an idea that he 'used you'. It might be true, but it's definitely not helpful.

    This is the important bit, and the only thing you can know for certain:
    He wasn't a good match for you. He didn't want the kind of relationship you wanted. He wasn't able to give you the kind of support your wanted from your partner.

    He doesn't need to be a bad, bad person. (Maybe he was. I can't know for sure. You probably can't know for sure either!) He doesn't have to have been a bad person who was using you, for him to simply be not good enough for you.

    The ashamed feeling stops when you stop trying to make up explanations and invent reasons for actions that have long since passed, for people you no longer talk too. It stops when you go "Yep. That was a bad relationship for me." and to forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you felt you made. It stops when you accept that you will NEVER really know what was going through his mind, and that it doesn't really matter anymore anyways.

    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Why do people say suicide is selfish? It's not selfish to end your OWN life, everyone else is going to rot in the ground just like their family before them and before them.

    I want to die, and that is a choice just as is everything else in "life" what's the quickest, least painful way I can do this?

    The Answer
    No one here is going to tell you how to kill yourself.

    They wont tell you because it's against the rules of the site, but also because no sensible, moral person would want to contribute to the death of a complete stranger.

    Whether or not you or I believe that an individual has a right to end their own life - you definitely do not have a right to demand others assist you in ending your own life.

    As for your first question - Why is suicide selfish? Well, because it fits the definition. It is a choice made entirely for oneself, without concern or compassion for feelings of others, or the burdens your actions place on them. It's a choice that causes permanent harm, pain and confusion to everyone else who knows the person who has died.

    I know a girl who found her sister's dead body hanging from a tree in the backyard when she was only ten. Can you tell me that it was perfectly justified for the elder sister to create that situation and leave her family scared with that memory forever - that it wasn't the least bit selfish?

    Most people who consider suicide seriously are desperate and/or mentally ill, so there certainly needs to be some compassion for them and the state they are in - No one wants to be in pain - and it's not inherently selfish to want that pain to end, but being mentally ill doesn't make their actions magically 'not selfish', it's just means others need to make peace with the fact the person wasn't able to make good judgements when they were in pain.

    No matter how you slice it, suicide is still the act of murdering someone, even if it's just yourself, and that act will have major consequences for the living. It always does.

    Although I don't think someone should necessarily be required to go on living in all cases just due to the feelings of those around them - that doesn't change the fact that suicide hurts others very deeply, and permanently, and that a person choosing whether or not to commit suicide is in a position to choose whether to do that harm, or to not do that harm.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Wht is the legal age for sex in england ?

    The Answer
    The age of consent in the UK is 16.

    It has not been 13 since 1885.

    There is also no 'close in age' exception in the law. Having sex below the age of 16 is simply not allowed.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I was with this guy for about 6 years. We met when we were still kids, just 16 so of course it was all really intense - first love and all that. I thought it was like a fairy tale. We were completely obsessed with each other. It was a long-distance relationship so of course it's no surprise it didn't last. Anyway, he suddenly totally changed and broke up with me out of the blue, completely wrecking my heart and getting together with my ex-best friend just a few weeks later. Though they broke up a few months later, it was the worst thing ever I ever had to go through.
    It took me about 1.5 years but now I felt like a different person and like I got over it.
    A little while ago he suddenly messages me and asks me how I am, I tell him how terrible everything was but how I feel like I'm a stronger person now and I hope someday he'll become a better man. I thought it would end there but we started talking again. One thing lead to another and we video-chatted which lead to flirting. We both confessed we still think about each other in a sexual way and we've carried on that way ever since. It's been going on like this for a few weeks now.
    I hate myself for it because I just have no idea what's going on anymore. All my family and friends hate him because of all the pain he caused me yet I don't seem to. I don't understand myself and I feel like I'm going nuts. I shouldn't still want him after what he did to me, should I? I feel like an idiot and a really weak person, like I haven't changed at all.
    I don't even know whether I still love him, I don't think I do. Then why is this all happening? Do I still have feelings for him? Are we just falling back into a comfortable pattern because we don't have anyone else at the moment? I'm scared that it'll lead to me getting hurt again. Is there something wrong with me?
    Please help, I can't talk about this with any of my family or friends, because I'm afraid they'll judge me and be really disappointed in me.

    The Answer
    I think you nailed this: you've got nothing else going on, and flirting and being sexual with an ex is comfortable and easy.

    Meeting someone else is high risk.
    An ex is the devil you know.

    Don't beat yourself up, but it does sound like you know you don't want a relationship with him. You know you've changed. You don't have to hate him, or what he's done in the past, to know he isn't right for you now. It's okay to have feelings for exes - they are important people in your life - that doesn't mean they shouldn't be exes.

    Get busy. Instead of being available to chat, go out with a friend, watch a movie with your mom, bake cookies. You need to occupy yourself to move forward, not dwell and fool around with him online.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    This has been worrying me everytime. This is also not the first time this has happebed with me though. It started all the way back in January. I had sex with this guy at this party. He told me he was clean an I believed him. But like 3 days before I thought I had a beginning yeast infection. After I had sex it worsened. I burned and itched.. but not just at the vulva area. It happened right before my period too.
    I also had cramping on my left side a lot, even when not on period. The whole shape of my vagina changed too. It looks gross not like it used too. It basically looks like I had a kid and around it it pokes out.
    My last period I was on birth control and I didn't experience a problem like I did before.
    Yesterday I felt some left side cramping again. I felt inside of me and on my uterus, there were hard little bumps on it. I mean TINY. And after I figured that out, my vagina is burning and itching from my vulva to underneath my clit. I have some whitish watery discharge, but not a lot. I seem to look swollen and very red.
    I am making an appointment on Monday (today's Friday). So it isn't like i'm depending on this. But I have a date tomorrow with this guy. We did do sex before but not since last Saturday.
    It makes me wanna cry thinking of what it will be like. I feel like I won't have fun cause I'll wanna hurry and get home so I can scratch. I looked all over the internet to something simiar to me but I can't find anything and it makes my eyes tear up and my stomach sink... I don't wanna be like this tomorrow too....
    Pleasegive me some advice so I can have a long full date tomorrow, it's my first date ever :(

    The Answer
    Edit in response to feedback.
    I'm not sure why you rated me a 1. Whether you've had this before and had it cleared up and then come back... That doesn't change any of my advice.
    You shouldn't use and over the counter yeast infection cure if you don't know it's a yeast infection - it could interfere with your doctors ability to determaine what is wrong. Also, your description of small white bumps - that's entirely inconsistent with a yeast infection.
    You have a responsibility not to expose others to a potentially serious infection. Get this checked out before you have sexual contact with someone else.


    You've expressed so many symptoms is could be many, many things. From herpes or HPV, to bacterial vaginitis or allergies!

    As for tomorrow, you need to either cancel your date OR tell your date straight up that there will be absolutely zero below the belt action tomorrow.

    You can't do anything with this guy when you don't know if what you have is catching, (that would be seriouly immoral) and you shouldn't do anything, with anyone, when you know it's going to hurt you!

    It might sound tough now, think about it: you'll only get one 'first date', do you to spend the whole time stressed and physically uncomfortable? Probably not. If I were you, I'd reschedule.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I have relatively few possesions; but relative to whom? The Nazi's where responsible to less deaths than the Russians during world war II does that make the Nazi's okay? I don't think so. I may be able to pack everything I own into a small car but really for me that is way too much stuff. I suppose it's not the stuff that bothers me it's the percieved "need". I can't bring myself to throw away things like my certificates of achievement (certificates from college stating I completed some course or another). What do they matter? They won't keep me warm at night, they wont feed me, I can't use them to defend my life from the savages of the world. Do I really need to feed myself? What is the point of protecting myself? How can I find enlightenment when I am looking for it externally? Where is my inner piece?

    The Answer
    How is your desire to keep certificates that acknowledge and celebrate your intellectual achievements interfering with your ability to find peace?
    Why do you feel that your attachment to symbols of your achievements - the things which make up the story of your life and the person that you now are - are interfering with your happiness?

    These things are only 'possessing' you if you let them. Keeping them, and acknowledged they have some value beyond being pressed and printed paper pulp, is not being possessed by them, and it's not ‘needing’ them either.

    Some objects have importance because they come to represent the non-tangible achievements and narratives of our lives in important ways.

    I don't see any reason to make yourself miserable over these pieces of paper. So long as you find them important, keep them. When you no longer want them, destroy them.

    Your life will always include some degree of ‘material trappings’. Trying to find peace by rejecting all objects is futile. We exist in a material world and there is no true escape from that but death. So unless you intend on lying down and awaiting death, you'll need to find peace by allowing objects to be objects. It is entirely possible to appreciate an object’s personal value, and even utility, without becoming possessed or dependent on it.

    Your problem is not your attachment to these objects. Your problem is that you are beating yourself up over a perfectly valid desire possess an object that symbolizes your achievements and a part of your life story.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Im a 13 year old girl is it legal for me to give a 14 yeal old a bj at 13?

    The Answer
    Most Age of Consent laws in most places make the age where you are legally able to consent to sex 16.

    However, many place also have Close in Age exceptions, which say that people who are younger than 16 (or, whatever the age of consent is) are able to have sex with people who are only 1 or 2 years older than them.

    So, no one can really answer your question until they know where you live, and what the laws are in your area.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Can you bleach your hair without damaging it?

    The Answer
    Fundamentally no.

    Bleaching your hair, or dyeing it, all cause damage.

    The question isn't about causing no damage, it's about causing as little damage as possible.

    To cause as little damage as possible to your hair when you want to change it's color - go to a salon with a strong focus on the kind of coloring you want to do.

    Although boxed colors/lighten/bleach are getting better and better each year - they still don't stack up against a salon professional. A salon professional will mix the color specifically for you, and the condition of your hair and that helps them to do no more damage than strictly necessary to get the look you want.

    Especially if you plan on coloring your hair regularly - the stylist will be able to control how much is put on the regrowth, and how much on the previously dyed hair. You get a better overall look, healthier hair, and less long-term damage.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    hi, what does it mean by when a boyfriend of 4 years says, ''go with the guy if you want to?'' he only says that if he finds me looking and when he's drunk. sometimes i don't get it. we love each other and we live together and he's also a single father and in his early 50's. so guys does he want to split up or something? thanks

    The Answer
    It means he's being a jerk.

    Maybe he wants to break up. Maybe he wants to you to reassure him. Maybe he finds the idea of you sleeping with another man sexy - some guys do.

    We can't know.

    You'll have to ask him why he is doing this. Of course, he honestly might not know himself.

    What we can know is that this is a jerk move. It's either a straight up insult, or an attempt at manipulation. It's not okay, no matter why he is doing it.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    i am from India age of 21,i used to jerk daily at least twice a day but i want to stop it from daily sometimes it goes even three three time a day if it need ,
    1.)i want to stop this thing or can i continue with this ,
    2.)does the jerking can cause STD ?
    3.)jerking is good to health ? ,
    4.) can i jerk daily for once or should stop this and how to stop ?
    5.) jerking twice can bother me ?
    6.) can jerk reduce my weight or health ?

    But one thing when i jerk i became tired and i am hungry i want to eat something fully i feel like that why ???? please help me for all my questions please

    The Answer
    1.) You can continue if you would like too.
    2.) Masturbating doesn't not cause STDs.
    3.) Most studies suggest that regular masturbation is good for the overall health of men. It reduces stress, improves cardiac health and has even been linked to a decreased risk of prostate cancer.
    4.) You don't need to stop. You can do it once, twice, three times a day - as long as you are not hurting yourself, or causing scars or damage, it is fine.
    5.) This doesn't make sense, but like I said, no, this can't harm you.
    6.) No.

    Masturbating is a good workout - it's okay to feel hungry or tired afterwards.

    Masturbation is only a problem when it prevents you living a normal life, or when you would rather masturbate then do necessary things like interact with other people, or go to school or work. If you skipping work or school to masturbate more, than you should see a mental health professional.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    I'm going to be creating a website soon where I'm selling a product.

    Something similar to birchbox.com, but more personalized and more than make-up.

    Would this be a business? Would I have to do taxes or any other special businessy things?

    I wouldn't be charging taxes, just a flat rate.

    Is it illegal to buy products from companies to send them off to someone else? It's not like I'd be reselling specific products...

    It would be like shopping for a gift for someone... except they would be strangers and I'd be doing it over and over again.

    The Answer
    I think you need to do a lot more research before you start, including speaking to a lawyer or someone who specializes in helping entrepreneurs start small businesses.

    As for your first question: Yes. This would be a business, you might need a business license and it would certainly have an effect on your taxes. It's best to have an understanding of your responsibilities before you make a sale.

    Depending on your state, you might not be able to 'not charge tax'. Most states will require you to collect sales taxes from the state where your business has a physical presence.

    Although you generally have the right to resell anything you legally acquired, there are some restrictions on certain types of products (cigarette, food and in some cases: makeup) and there are companies who will make your life miserable if you do (generally by enforcing trademark and not allowed you to use images, logos or slogans associated with the product - thereby making it difficult or impossible to list.)

    You need some professional advice from someone who knows the rules in your state.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Is it bad that I masturbate using one of my mom's vibrators ? P.s. I'm f/13 .

    The Answer
    It's not bad to masturbate, but it is bad to take someone else's things, especially a personal and intimate item like a vibrator.

    You need to stop doing that. It's not right - it also might not be safe or healthy for either you or your mother.

    Masturbating is fine, but you need to find other ways to enjoy yourself. Taking someone eles's vibrator is never okay.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Hey,
    So I inboxed you with this question because you have given me good advice before :)

    So, the thing is theres this teacher at college. He's a man like 58 ish.

    He knows that I have an anxiety issue, and all my teachers were told to like be mindful I had it, but he's really taking his role too seriously.
    He has taken me out of class twice now for like half an hour (highly embarrassing) to his little office and told me to 'avoid the demons in my head' and all this-he's blown up the issue totally.

    Then he came to talk to me in the exam room when we were all about to start, and I was getting funny 'whats going on with you looks' from my class mates. Then he approaches me at lunch-has done this twice now.

    So I saw him outside college yesterday, and today he came to my table at lunch and said 'Saw you yesterday, doing research were we' (relating to my subject)

    But, you know, I find him a bit too concerned with me. What should I do? I told my personal tutor this and he just laughed. I mean-it's not normal for a teacher to approach a pupil when their eating lunch is it?!

    The Answer
    Is it normal for a teacher to approach a student at lunch in college or university? Sure. I was on a first name basis with a few of my teachers, and had lunch and/or drink with them a handful of times.

    So although you've got really legitimate reasons to be uncomfortable with this teacher's behaviour overall, you are at a point in your life where teachers, employers and other people in authority might actually socialize a bit with you. That much is normal (it can be awkward, but it's normal.) That's probably why it gave your tutor a chuckle.

    As far as what you should do about the rest of the behaviour, I think my biggest question for you, is this:
    How much longer in your school year? 2 months? Weeks?
    Can you ride this out and avoid his classes next year?

    If you can ride out this well-meaning, but completely misplaced 'helpfulness' for the final few weeks, and then make sure not to be his student again, that is probably the easiest way to deal.

    The second point is that you CAN say NO. You aren't in high school anymore. When a professor asks to speak with you in their office, you can say "Look unless this is about my classwork, I really need to get going." or "If we need to chat, can schedule a time?" You can say "Thanks for your concern, but I really getting all the support I need. I'll let you know if I need to talk." and get up and leave.
    .
    He IS being too concerned with you. There might be lots of reasons. Maybe someone in his life suffered from anxiety, so he has his own baggage. Maybe he just doesn't know how to cope, and is making some poor judgment calls, but whatever the reason, you can stand up for yourself and determine what kind of teacher-student relationship you want to have - including not being in his class in the future.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    is it okay for an almost 18 year old girl to date a 24 year old guy who has 3 year old twins?

    The Answer
    It's legal. If that is what you mean, then yes, legally, it okay.

    Most things are legally okay, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily good ideas.

    Is dating a 24 year old with two kids, when you are 18, a good idea?
    Probably not. Dating someone with children is always an added complication. Dating someone who is at such a different place in their life than you are, is always very challenging.

    When I was 18, I wouldn't have chosen that. I wouldn't date a parent. I didn't want that kind of responsibility in my life at all. I wouldn't see that as a worthwhile risk with my heart or my time.

    There the good ideas, and bad ideas. You probably know which category 'dating this guy' falls into.


    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Alright, so a few days ago I went to see a movie with a friend. I'm 14(female), and he's 17. As we were watching the movie, he put his hand over my mouth and started playing with my tits. I tried to stop him, but I couldn't. Well, he made his way to my pussy, and started fingering me. It actually really hurt, and I think he broke my hymen. My pussy kind of hurts, what do I do? Like, when he fingered me, he used two fingers, which I've only fingered myself once, but I used one finger. It's not like I can tell my mom or dad.

    The Answer
    You CAN tell your parents. You could also tell the police.

    He held you down, and sexually assaulted you.
    What he did was probably criminal, and definitely immoral.

    You shouldn't feel ashamed that someone abused you, but if you don't tell anyone, the people who are suppose to protect you, can't. And no one can protect the next girl he asks to a movie ether.

    This guy, who is older than you and stronger than you, forced himself on you, and used your body. You didn't do anything wrong - you were vicitimzed.

    So, he's not your friend. Stay away from him.

    And please tell someone. Tell an adult you can trust, an aunt or uncle, a teacher or coach, someone you can speak too honestly. You need someone who loves you to support you, and to tell you to your face that you didn't do anything wrong -you were vicitimzed and sexually assaulted. You need to let the people who's job it is to help keep you safe, keep you safe.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Okay, so I'm 18, female and in my last year of secondary school (or high school) and there's this guy in my class who has been flirting with me over the past few months.

    At the start it was just general flirting, but soon he started feeling my legs whenever I sat beside him, and even when I told him to stop, he'd still keep doing it.

    Then he asked me in January to go to the debs (Irish version of 'prom') with him and I said okay, but a month or so later he said that he wasn't sure if he was going ... I still don't know if he is or not.

    Then he kept up the usual flirting and annoying me until a few weeks ago when it was a non-uniform day in school. I wasn't wearing anything seductive, or whatever, but he kept feeling me up all through the day and I told him so many times that I didn't want him to do it, but he kept on doing it.

    The next day I gave out to him and he said sorry and that he'd never do it again ...

    Then he asked me for my number, and I don't know why I gave it to him, but I did ...

    So since then he's been texting me about nothing but sex-related things.

    He started asking me all about the guys I have had sex with before, which was completely none of his business.

    He suggested having no-strings attached sex with me, and I said that I would never do that. So he asked me if I did have feelings for him, and I said yeah, because I just do (I don't know why).

    Then he said that he would go out with me, but he thinks it sounds gay ... Which makes NO sense at all since I'm a girl.

    Two nights ago he was asking me why I don't take dirty pictures and I told him that I never would ... and then last night he sent me a dirty picture! I went mad at him, and he said that he was sorry, but then he tried to convince me to send one back ... so I told him to text me again when he's not thinking about sex, and he hasn't since then.

    I know most guys are crazy about sex, but I don't want a guy who's just going to talk about it to me constantly. I don't even know why he talks about sex so much because he's a virgin, and everything he knows is just from what he hears from his friends and what he sees on p*rn.

    Should I tell him that I want someone much, much more than a sex-obsessed fool?

    Should I explain to him that I'm tired of talking about sex?

    Should I just ignore him?

    I just don't know what to do about him!

    The Answer
    As other people have said, this guys behavoir crossed the line from flirting and kind of inappropriate, to straight up sexual harassment.

    Sexually touching you when you've told him to stop - that's not just rude, that's criminal.
    Sending you sexual photos can also qualify as sexual harassment.

    This guy isn't just 'sex crazed'. I know lots of lovely people who are obsessed with sex and never harass anyone else.
    At best guy is immature and has horrible judgment - at worse, he's an active abuser and sexual bully.

    So you don't owe him any words of gentle kindness - in fact - if you want to do him a favor you might straight up tell him that he's behaved entirely inappropriately, that he's made you uncomfortable and the way he's forced his hands and his pictures on your could easily qualify as criminal acts.

    Then never speak to him again.

    He's not a friend. Friends don't act like this.

    HOWEVER, if you have any concern, any inkling that he might react violently to hearing his behavoir labeled accurately, then skip right to the 'never speak to him again' step.
    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    Is

    But old Friar Laurence for shadows doom,
    and the lovers’ future is full of gloom.

    in iambic pentameter?

    The Answer
    An iambic foot is made up of two syllables.

    An unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable. (Da DUM)

    Iambic pentameter is five of these iambic foots. That means Iambic pentameter should have ten syllables. (Da DUM Da DUM Da DUM da DUM da DUM)

    So all you really need to do is count the syllables.

    (If you don't know what a syllable is, google it, they are really simple to count).

    So this is the first line, counted out:

    But(1 - Da) old(2 - DUM) Fri(3 - Da)ar(4 -D DUM) Laur(5 - Da)ence(6 - DUM) for(7 - da) sha(8 - DUM)dows(9 - Da) doom(10 - DUM),

    That line has ten syllables. If you check the second line and finds it follows the same pattern, than both lines are in iambic pentameter.






    (View All Other Answers.)



    The Question
    ok i know this isnt exactly your subject but i just wanna know the answer to a simple question: is theater an elective?

    The Answer
    If depend entirely on your country, your state, your school district and possibly even your school's policies.

    In most places, IF theatre is available (and sadly, it's not always available) it will be an elective, or it will be one of many electives that fulfill the the requirement to take an arts course.

    I agree the best thing to do it contact your school. Anyone in the art department or the guidance/counseling office should know if the course is offered, and how that fits into the graduation requirements in your area.
    (View All Other Answers.)



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