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dating guy with kids
is it okay for an almost 18 year old girl to date a 24 year old guy who has 3 year old twins?
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Dear dating guy with kids,
You have gotten some great advice. I believe that how you feel about the age difference is up to you. I cannot tell you if that is right or wrong.
I also believe the same about how you feel about dating a man with children. It is is only wrong if you believe it is wrong.
No matter what you do, think of how it will affect the three year old children in this situation.
If these babies get attached to you and something happens to split the relationship, they will be affected more than you or thier dad.
I would take my own advice on this one if anything were to happen to my relationship and I was left with just my small children.
As a parent, I would not date anyone until my yongest child was at least 16 years old.
If you do decide to date this guy, I advise you to never see him with his children until the relationship becomes serious and you are going to take on the parenting role right beside him.
He should not confuse his children with trying to find another woman in his life. He needs to focus on his children and make sure they are growing up to be decent people. The search for a mate will exspose those children to having emotional issues that start at a young age.
So think about this for a while. There are two small children to think about, to put before your needs. What ever you do will be the right thing. Trust in yourself to be responsible enough to make a chioce that will be good for everyone! Maybe those babies need a strong female figure in thier lives. There are too many variables that I do not have in order to give more informed advice.
Good question by the way.
Good Luck!!
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It is legal but the age difference is very large considering the stages you both are in.
He already has a family, he is at a different maturity level than you are.
He has many things to worry about while you have either just graduated high school or will be soon. While he could have possible had college already.
Now, his children will always come before you. That would be the hard part of being a teenager and dating a man who has children because you aren't going to be first priority.
The mom could possibly still be in the picture. So you will have a different role when it comes to being around his family. It will be an awkward role for you since you are still a teenager.
If you can handle being second in the relationship and not being able to be with him as much as you'd like to, then the relationship is fine. If you don't think you can handle all that in your life right now, then don't go for it.
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The three before me seem to be of one mind on this. It is not illegal but it is also not something they would do or they would advise. I have to go along with what they have written.
Besides the six year age difference he is in a different place and maturity level then you are. He was 21 when he started his family. Was it something he planned or did his ex and he start a family and then have to get married. Where is the mom and how is she going to interact with you, her kids and him?
His children are always going to come before you, they have too. If your relationship is going to flourish into marriage it will only do so based on how his children take to you and how you handle his children as a parent. You will always be the step-mom and you can expect the mom to always remind you of this fact even if he has custodial custody of the children.
We cannot tell you what is right or what is wrong in this relationship for you. Only you can do that. What we can do is try to point out the pitfalls of this type of relationship which there are many. You have to decide if you can accept them and if you have the maturity to accept them and deal with the problems that these pitfalls will bring to this relationship.
The pitfalls are there that's a fact. How they will come to pass is an unknown but they will at some time come to pass. You need to be prepared and have your eyes wide open if you want to proceed with this relationship.
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It is not illegal
However getting involved with someone who has children will not be as available to you then someone who has no kids. You will have to accept that the mother of the kids will always be in the picture somewhat, His kids will always come before you etc.
Honestly, I would go with Rahzie on this one.
I most certainly would not want to be involved with anyone who has kids at the age of 18
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As long as he isn't married, there's nothing wrong with it, neither legally nor socially.
However, you need to be 100% sure you're ready to take on the responsibility. And depending upon what arrangement he might have with the mother, you'll have to accept that you may have to 'share' his attention.
I can't tell you whether or not you're ready for that, but I can assure you, than the age discrepancy between 18 and 24 is not that bad, and should not be socially looked down upon.
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It's legal. If that is what you mean, then yes, legally, it okay.
Most things are legally okay, but that doesn't mean they are necessarily good ideas.
Is dating a 24 year old with two kids, when you are 18, a good idea?
Probably not. Dating someone with children is always an added complication. Dating someone who is at such a different place in their life than you are, is always very challenging.
When I was 18, I wouldn't have chosen that. I wouldn't date a parent. I didn't want that kind of responsibility in my life at all. I wouldn't see that as a worthwhile risk with my heart or my time.
There the good ideas, and bad ideas. You probably know which category 'dating this guy' falls into.
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