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Hey guys my name's Erin, and I love helping people. I know how hard life can be at times, and sometimes you just need some adivse. That's what I'm here for. Whatever the question is, I'll be more than happy to answer it!

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Ive liked actually fallen in love with this kid now for 2 years. he doesnt wanna go out with my bcuz im friends with his younger sister. so now im tryna get over him and i just wanna be friends. but everytime i try to he feels weird around me. i just wanna be friends again like we were. should i give him some space? what do i do! please help!

it's odd that he didn't want to go out with you because you're friends with his younger sister, but giving people their space always seems to work. don't cut off communication completly, because it's often harder to start it up again after a while, and it's often more awkward than in the beginning. if you see him in school, say hi, but don't try and have a full fledged conversation with him right off the bat. it'll help him understand that you just want to be friends,and it'll help you get over him and be able to just be friends with him.

Hey, its me again, the girl who asked about the guy Nick who likes me and cant get the picture that i only wanna be friends..anyway i just wanna thank u for the advice.. and also.. I don't wanna go to this dance, but u said i should still go?? I've just been so stressed out about it lately..(i think ive even gotten pimples from it..and i usually have like the clearest skin in the world!!) It's in December, so its not like its this weekend or anything.. I really dont wanna go, so i thought about saying to him something about how i would just feel very uncomfortable at the dance because i am shy, and that maybe he could ask another girl to the dance who he might actually be able to develop a relationship with, since he and i are just going to be friends. Do u think that would be good to say? Or do u think there is something else i should say? Thanks

Actually i think what you suggested would be really good. it would really get the message across to him that you just want to be friends, and this way he can find someone else to go with who he would actually have a good time with, and who would enjoy his company as well. i would highly suggest that as opposed to lying(which was a bad suggestion in the first place on my part), and i think that should work. and don't stress about it, everything will work out. :O)

Well I've known this guy for about 2 years over the internet. (I met him through a friend who met him 6 months before me) We've talked on the phone, sent letters, pictures, webcams, and all of that, also I've talked to his family and friends so that I know everything he says is true. I've told him that I love him, and he says the same to me. When he gets his liscence, he was going to come and visit me. We only live about 5 hours apart... Yeah, we've had our ups and downs but i still love him, even though we're not "going out" or anything. I know he's had sex once before with his ex girlfriend of a year. I would have sex with him, but I'm still a virgin and I think I'm too young. He's not pressuring me or anything, it's something I wanna do. (Please don't lecture me about it, I know, I also don't need inappropriate vulgar remarks thrown at me for this) He's 16 and I'm 14, but I'll be 15 by the time he gets to visit. I just need some help on what to do to make me feel more open with him. I guess I just feel intimidated because it's not his first time. (It's also not like I've never done anything sexual before, just not sex itself) Please help me out with this.

first of all, you need to meet this guy face to face. it's really easy for people to say things over the internet that they don't really mean, because they can't see the person's reaction, they think the reprocussions of what they say are less than what they really are. after you've met him, and get to know him as a person...like a real person, i'd suggest taking things really slow. don't jump right into sex. make sure that you really like the real him, and that he really likes the real you. once you decide whether or not you really like him as a person, then you can consider taking the next step. i would suggest against not having sex because like you said, you are too young. sex is a really intimate thing, and as ready as you think you may be, at such a young age it's hard to grasp everything that's involved in it. but, now that that's said and done, if you do decide you want to have sex with him, make sure you are ready. if you still think you're too young, don't do it. no one's forcing you, so just wait until you are ready. if you are ready, don't worry about the fact that he's not a virgin. if he loves you like you say he does, it won't matter. it will actually probably be better because he knows what he's doing. i hope that helped, and let me know what happens!

well there is a boi i like and his best friend is my ex boi friend and my ex told him not to tlk to me so he dosent but the thing is i rely like my ex's friend alot and he rides my bus to school and w/e i try to talk to him he ignores me.
how can i tlk to him w/o him ignoreing mee???

it's understandable why your ex would tell him not to talk to you, especially if you had a bad breakup. if you didn't have a bad breakup, then there's no reason for him to tell his friends who they can and can't talk to, and they are entitled to have their own friends. so try talking to him about school or something, and ask him a quesiton about one of your classes. if he still ignores you, then ask him why he's ignoring you, and then hopefully you'll get the truth. but just be aware that most of the time friends won't go out with their friend's ex. it's a curtisy thing. so if things don't work out with you and him, please don't be upset. i hope this helped, and keep me updated!

there is a guy that i have known for almost 6 years. I love him to death. Litterally. I cant stand it when I'm not around him. But the thing is. He thinks I cheated on him the last time we went out by sitting on my ex bfs lap. and he thinks that I kissed him because thats what he was told by my evil brother and parents. He doesn't trust me now and I can't get his trust back. I seriously can't stand it anymore. I'm like, about ready to cry just writing this. I love everything about him, the way he laughs, the way he smiles, his sense of humor...just..everything. And I want him back so bad. I can't stand waiting anymore. I have been waiting for a couple of months, waiting and trying my best to get his trust back. It isnt working and I cant stand it! I went out with this other guy to get over him and it didn't work. I can't just forget him because its hard with how long i've known him. and his sister is my best friend. He has me wrapped around his finger. I will do anything and everything he asks for. (not sex tho but he doesnt want that anyway) He doesn't tell me to do stuff and he doesnt know how wrapped up he has me. I'm in love with him but it doesnt matter to him. or anyone else. I'm the only one who cares how bad I have it for him. I have everything he has ever given me, all the notes, all the presents, the pictures, the memories. Its been a couple of months and I still remember what his kiss feels like, I remember how he used to rub my side when he held me. just, everything. how can i get him to trust me again and get him back............fast. or at least kinda fast.

well, is seems like your boy as some significant trust issues. what you might want to do is sit down with him and talk about your feelings, and why he has lost so much trust in you. tell him that you didn't cheat on him, and if he still doesn't believe you, then just make sure that he understands that it will never, ever happen (again...eventhough it never happened in the first place) if he loves you like you love him, or cares about you at all, he will understand where you're coming from, and you two should be able to work things out. maybe he just needs a little more time, but it should work out. if for some reason he won't trust you again, then im sorry to say this sweetie, but he's not worth your time. guys who get that jealous over sitting on a exs lap, or even just a kiss, have serious issues, and it can often lead to an abusive relationship. because you say you are willing to do anything and everything for him, it shoudn't be hard for you to get him back, once you talk to him. but if you do get him back, PLEASE make sure that you keep your standards and morals where they are, because once he realizes what you are willing to do, he could take advantage of that, and then you won't be happy either. be strong, and don't let him have all of the control. by talking to him about this, you have taken some of that control back. which is good. i hope this helped, and i wish you the absolute best of luck. i know how hard losing someone you love is, so i hope everything works out. keep me posted

i just got my period any advice on pads, tampons
ill apreciate any advice!! ill rate!

i personally prefer tampons, but sometimes its hard to put them in at first. if you are able to, since you are new, get ones that say "slim" or ones that are for teens. they are the smallest ones, and the easiest ones to put in. if you have no problem with those, i love Pearl tampons. they are very comfortable, and work really well. if tampons aren't your choice, any kind of pads work. i used to use Always with wings, and i still use those when i dont' feel like using a tampon. they are fairly comfortable, and not too bulky. it also depends on how heavy your period is, because if it's very heavy you will need to get more absorbant tampons/pads, but if its light, you can get the least absorbant ones. i hope this helped!

i still have not gotten my period and all my friends that are even smaller and shorter then me already got theirs if it helps im in 7th grade and im almost 13

there is absolutly nothing wrong with you. i didn't get mine until i was 14, almost 15! there are so many factors that need to be accounted for when determing when you get your period. when it's your time, it'll happen. in the mean time, enjoy not having it!

You see, I'm developing feeelings for this guy who lives near my friends place. Whenever I'm around him, I act like a fool. My friends (girls) can do sporty things he does, but I totally cant. I think he refers to me as "girly", which I am. But I feel left out when I'm with them. I can't run as fast as they do, and I really don't know what to do. I won't be going to my friends place anymore, so I don't know how I can talk 2 the guy who lives near her. I want him 2 like me, but I feel so ashamed to even see him again. What do I do?

try hanging out with him alone. next time you see him, ask him out for coffee or something. these days, guys love it when the girl takes the initiative and asks them out, so don't be worried. if he really likes you, he'll get past the fact that you're "girly", because he'll see who you really are, and like you for you. best of luck!

Me and my boyfriend have been dating about 3 months on the 24th...But he still doesn't understand my hints. How do I get him to understand my hints without me saying what I want out right?

^ trippen ^

well, it depends on what hints you are trying to give him. a lot of guys, espeically when you've only been dating them for a little so they don't know you that well, are very very bad at picking up on hints. and even if they do pick up on them, sometimes they don't know how to act on them. what i would suggest is instead of hinting at what you want, go ahead and get it yourself. for example, if you want him to kiss you, but he isn't getting the hint, you make the first move and kiss him yourself! that goes for lots more than just kissing. if you're not comfortable with that, because i know its hard, then you might want to try dropping more obvious hints, and if that still doesn't work, then you will probably have to talk to him, unless you can wait for him to figure it out. but i'd suggest talking if it's bothering you. hope i helped!

Hey, i think u give really good advice so i wanted to ask u something..

I met this guy, Nick, about a month ago. He's 17 and I'm 15. I heard he liked me and he asked me out and while we were talking I found out he had a girlfriend, so i guess he just asked me out as a friend. But then a few days later we talked and he said he broke up with his girlfriend, and then for some reason he assumed that he and I were now in a relationship, or were going to soon be in one. I didn't know what to say so I just went along with it. The next day I told Nick I was too young for him since I had just started dating. I told him i wanted to get to know him better first. But now i think he still likes me and he thinks i like him, but i dont. He calls me/texts me every day, and he asks me out almost every weekend. I thought i had made it clear to him i just wanted to be his friend, but maybe when i said i wanted to get to know him better, he took it differently then i intended it. He asked me to a dance, and not knowing what to do, i told him i would go. But now i dont want to go, and i dont want to hurt him because he is going through a lot of shit right now with his life and i dont want to make his life any harder right now. How do i tell Nick to stop calling and asking me out so much, and that i cant go to the dance, without hurting him?

thanks in advance

Wow. That's a tough situation. now the main question is, do you want to be friends with him? at this point it seems like it would be kind of difficult to maintain a friendship with someone who seems so needy. based on the fact that he clearly didn't get the message that you're not interested, but yet still calls and text messages you all the time, i would be hesitant about going into any sort of relationship with him. i've seen people that get sucked into relationships with guys like that-who are very needy and pushy, and it sometimes turns abusive. but i'm not trying to scare you, because this isn't always the case. but to get him to stop calling you and asking you out so much, the only thing i can think of is to slowly stop talking to him as much. for example, don't answer his texts all the time, when he calls don't always answer you're phone, and always say you're busy on the weekends. i know this doens't sound nice, but since you already told him that you just wanted to be friends, there seems to be no other option. unless you want to try talking to him again. you might want to sit him down and really make sure he understands that you just want to be friends, and nothing more, and that him calling you all the time isn't necessary. then if that still doesn't work, try not talking to him as much. my friend has done that before, and it's always worked, and we've never heard of the guy being heartbroken after. as for the dance, unless you're really good at lying (which i'm not), you should probably still go, and maybe that would be a good time to talk to him about just being friends. i hope i helped, and if you have any more questions, feel free to ask! let me know how it turns out!

ok im not really excited about christmas and i dont know why? i mean i feel like something is missing in my life or is it that im just getting older but i dont think that is true bc i like christmas and all but it just seems like it doesnt matta anymore.

i know exactly what you mean. when i started getting older, all holidays kind of lost the thrill they once used to have for me. even my brithday. i was more excited thinking about it than when it actually happened. all you can do is accept it, and if you aren't having fun, or don't think you will, plan some sort of christmas party-that should put you in the spirit! hope this helped

:-D

Yeahhh... my boyfriend, who I like a lot, is a different race and my parents are racist. That caused some bumps in me just telling my mother that I liked him, and put drama on us already. And I don't see him much, and hes in one of my classes. He says that hae cares about me, and I believe that he does. But how do I know how much he cares about me with out asking him annoying questions?

well, it doens't seem that the real issue here is how much he cares about you, but rather that you're parents don't like him. if he's aware that you're parents are racist, and he's still going out with you, then i think that should be enough evidence to show you how much he cares about you, to want to stay with you eventhough your parents don't like him. if he doesn't know that about your parents, then just believe him when he says he cares about you. when you have been dating a little bit longer, you will become more open with eachother, and then maybe he can express how much he really cares about you. but it's really hard for guys to express their feelings. best of luck! let me know what happens

ok well im going to lucnh with a boy today idont kno wut to talk to him about plz give me alotta ideas i dont wanna bore him!! hes sweet cute and popular!! plz help ill rate a 5!

signed- confused

just be yourself. talk about whatever comes to mind, such as school, friends, movies or music you both like, places you like to go, hobbies you have, stuff like that. you'll be fine, and i'm sure you'll have a wonderful time. good luck and i hope this helped! let me know how it goes!

I have a problem...as you may have read ealier I like this guy named Max and he looks at me sometimes. Most people tell me to say hi or strike up a conversation with him and I just don't have the guts too. If you are going to tell me "Oh don't worry what other people think" then don't even bother to answer this question. I need better advice than that. I really don't know what to do. I have been rejected 4 times in the past 3 years...so I'm not all that attractive then. Help!

i totally agree with what becca said...keep it short and sweet in the beginning. even start by just saying hi while passing in the hall. if he responds, you'll know he's interested. if he seems a little distant, well then you've saved yourself from rejection because you never really put yourself out there in the first place. and don't base you're "attractability" just on the fact that you've been rejected 4 times in the past 3 years. guys are assholes sometimes, and most of the time it has nothing to do with looks. so please, realize that there's more to a realtionship than just looks. in fact, if a guy rejects you purely based on looks, he's not worth your time. hope this helped!

this is all the other advicenators, because since you are all on this site like me, im thinking maybe you guys have had the same problem. obviously, we all like helping people. but what happens when we're the ones who need the help, but we feel we can't ask for it because we're supposed to be the one who has all the solutions. please dont tell me to write my problem on here, because obviously i know that. don't get me wrong...i LOVE giving people advice...but in the real world, have any of u guys ever felt like your not supposed to need any back in return? just a thought...let me know what u think.

i know exactly what you mean. i love helping people too, but sometimes i need help too. its much easier to give advise than it is to take it. sometimes all it takes is talking to another person who also likes helping people, or who you trust with your life to basically tell you the same thing that you would tell someone in your situation. and don't ever feel like you can't ask for help or advise just because you have an advise column and love giving other people advise. you're giving them advise from an outsider's point of view, but when it's happening to you, it's much harder to have an open mind about it. please don't feel like you're supposed to have all the answers, and if you ever need advise, don't heistate to ask

my friend i think may become anarexic because well she keeps saying that shes fat and shes not i whenver she says she is i tell her shes not but she doesn't believe me....do u think she might? what can i do to help prevent her from getting more to thinking this?

xox lissy

there is a big possiblity that your friend might be anorexic, but just because she says she thinks she's fat doesn't mean she's anorexic. what you should do is spend some good quality time with her, during lots of meals, and take note as to how much she eats. if she eats normally, then make sure she doens't go to the bathroom afterwards to vomit, because if she does, she may be bullemic. if she isn't eating enough, then yes she probably is anorexic, in which case you should tell a trusted adult, and have them help you help her. if she's eating fine and not throwing up, then she just has body issues, and those will pass with time, and the best thing you can do is be there for her, and to keep being concerned for her like you are right now. i hope this helped, and let me know how things turn out!

how can u tell when ur in love with a guy???

like everyone says, you'll know. i know that's not a very informative answer, but it's true. when you're in love, you can't imagine you're life without that person, and you would be willing to do anything and everything for that person. you get this feeling in the pit of your stomach when you first realize, and you know that your life woudn't be the same without that person. if the love is reciprical, it's the greatest feeling in the world. it's not just about liking that person a whole lot, but it's about being compatible with that person on a whole different level than with anyone else. and like i said, you'll know. i hope this helped! :O)

Today I was sitting in class and I just picked up this needle thing and started running it up and down my arm. I don't know why but then I started scratching myself with it really badly so that I had marks all over my arm. After school, my boyfriend saw but he made a joke of it. I think I did it because I want attention because my parents don't really give me any. I was really upset that my boyfriend didn't care, does it show that he doesn't care about me? Everybody that saw what I had done just ignored me.

first of all, inflicting pain upon you're self is no way to go about getting attention, but i have a friend who does the same, so i can understand where the misconception comes in. it is very possible that your boyfriend didn't seem to care because he's uncomfortable with the situation of self-mutilation, and didnt know how to react to it, and when that's the case, most people just joke about it, to try and lighten the mood. i can guarantee you that everyone who saw what you did didn't ignore you, they were just too confused to know what to say, and if that's the case, the easiest way to deal with something like that is to pretend it didn't happen. with my friend, she would cut herself, and then call me and tell me what she did. i made her promise to talk to me about what was going on first, and then to go see a psychologist or social worker, or some professional who can give her the help she needed. in you're case, all it seems that you crave is a little attention. that can be easliy cured by throwing a party (cleared by your parents of course), and inviting a whole bunch of people. or, maybe all you need to do is confide in a friend, and tell them what's bothering you, becasue maybe there's some deeper issue here that you just can't see yet. if none of that helps, i would highly suggest going to a see a psychologist or psychiatrist, because they can help you understand what's wrong, and you can get the attention you want without having to cut yourself. i hope this helped, and please keep me updated

I have a crush on my best friend thats a guy! He doesn't know but I don't know how to tell him and I know he doesn't like me like that...But how should I tell him I like him? I RATE HIGH AND GIVE GOOD COMMENTS!

well, if you really like him, then really the only way to go about it is just to tell him flat out, but make sure he knows that you also really like him as a friend, and don't want to put him in an awkward situation, and woudlnt' want to do anything to risk hurting you're friendship. hope that helped! keep me posted

ok, I was 12 whenever I first had sex...( I know Kinda young but...I was turning 13 soon) Well...it hurt SUPERSUPER bad but they say that after it hurts it's supposed to feel godd...but it didn't...it never once felt good...then the second time (i've only done it 2 times) it still didn't feel good..it kind hurt..adn once again NEVER once felt good?!?! whats wrong with me?!?!

nothing's wrong with you. of course it's going to hurt for the first few times you do it, especially at such a young age. the more you do it the less it hurts, but please don't take that as me telling you it's ok to go out and have sex. but, when you do decide to have sex again, it shouldn't hurt as much, and each time you do it it should hurt less and less. hope that helped

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